Luis wiped away a tear. He still didn’t know what to think about Gerome’s sudden change of mind. The man not only apologized, but he also sounded like he really wanted to figure out a way to change things between them. Despite Luis’ flat-out refusal to change anything, Gerome hadn’t turned violent. He’d struggled. Luis saw the way his fists balled, but he merely got up and stared out the window without doing anything else.
Gerome had tricked him into having sex with him once before. This time, Luis wouldn’t be fooled again. But Gerome did seem to be sorry and appeared willing to change things, so maybe he should give it a try. He could always go back to his room and hide again. It couldn’t get any worse. What little trust he’d had in Gerome wouldn’t come back, but if his mate proved that he didn’t want to hurt him, it would help a great deal. And coming out of his room on occasion wouldn’t be so bad.
Gerome offered to change things, but he couldn’t do that alone. Slowly, he wiped away the last tears and stood. With a heavily beating heart, he walked over to the window and stopped next to Gerome. Before he could change his mind, he said, “Let’s try it. I don’t want to hide in my room forever.”
Gerome’s surprise was visible as he turned around. “Thank you.” He smiled at Luis. “Thank you so much.”
“I’m not sure what for, but you’re welcome.” He paused a moment, then added quietly, “I’m not sure what to do now, though.”
Gerome’s eyes met his. “I have no idea either, but I think we can figure it out together. Let’s talk more about it tomorrow. Okay? Perhaps, you can think about some things you’d like to change or things that would make you feel better until then. And I’ll see what I can come up with as well.”
“That’d be a start.” Still looking at Gerome, Luis smiled back. He didn’t trust this peace yet, but at least they’d found something to go on. Things started looking a bit better now.
“Would you—would you like to go back to the wedding now? I’m sure they’re already missing you, and you really should be there.” Even though Luis secretly enjoyed the silence, it seemed to be the right thing to say.
“I don’t care if they’re missing me. Our relationship is much more important. But if you want, we can go back. I’d like to try the dancing thing again if you’re up for it. If not, we can go back to my apartment and talk some more.” Gerome, a strange expression on his face, still looked at him.
He didn’t really want to go back, but it would simply be rude to decline Gerome’s invitation. Besides, Gerome needed to attend the wedding, and forcing him to go back to the apartment now didn’t sound right. “You did get the part about me not knowing how to dance, right?” he added, only half joking.
Gerome chuckled. “I’ll show you, don’t worry. Do you want to stop at the bathroom and splash some water on your face?”
“Yeah. I think that wouldn’t hurt. Thank you.” And he meant it.
Gerome hadn’t been this nice before. Maybe they really could establish some kind of truce between them.
After a short detour to the bathroom, where Luis tried and failed to ignore his red eyes, they wandered back to the wedding. He still couldn’t believe what had happened. Either he’d died and gone to a heaven where Gerome was nice, or he was dreaming. Maybe someone had drugged his food.
But the man walking next to him was very much real and so were the things they’d discussed. He just couldn’t trust Gerome yet. Too much had happened. These last months were real, and everything inside him screamed “trap,” but that wouldn’t stop him from at least trying to make things with Gerome tolerable.
Gerome held the door open for him as they entered the ballroom again. The party was in full swing, with most of the thirty or so guests dancing. Gerome’s daughter, laughing at the guests, was in the queen’s arms. She really was a cute thing.
Luis wanted to find out exactly how this pregnancy stuff worked. He was curious how the baby had been conceived. Maybe Gerome would tell him. Stop right there, Luis. No running ahead and thinking everything is well. It wasn’t. Not by a long shot.
“Can we try this again? May I have the next dance with you?” Gerome’s smile lacked its usual confidence when he held out his hand, palm side up, for Luis to take. Was he nervous? About what? He didn’t have a reason to be insecure.
Luis smiled and placed his hand in Gerome’s. “You may, but watch out for your feet.”
“Mhh. I’ll show you.” Gerome paused. “If you want to, of course. Please don’t feel obligated to dance with me.”
“I want to, I’m just not sure I’m up to dancing lessons here with all these people, but if you can take the lead and show me what to do so I won’t look like a total idiot, that’d be great.” Luis swallowed hard. He’d taken the first step. He wouldn’t speak of trust or anything else. He needed to be on guard constantly until he knew for sure what had brought on Gerome’s sudden change of mind. In the meantime, he wouldn’t complain about the new Gerome.
Gerome held his hand until they arrived at the dance floor, and then very slowly raised his arms to embrace Luis. With a deep breath, Luis put his hands on Gerome’s hips as well, following Gerome’s movements. Keeping a comfortable distance between them, Gerome didn’t pull him too close before he slowly began to turn them around to the music.
The grooms twirled past them, and Sam nodded at Gerome. What was that about? Luis focused back on Gerome and his own feet. It wasn’t his business, and he wasn’t going to ask.
Gerome carefully led them, making sure to steer Luis so that it appeared as if he knew what he was doing. Luis didn’t know where to look and ended up glancing at Gerome every once in a while, but when he caught Gerome watching him back, he quickly looked away.
They swayed for a while until Angela started to cry and rub her eyes. Alex and Sam decided it was time to go back to their room. Refusing the queen’s offer to babysit effectively broke up the celebration. Although if Luis read the grooms’ expressions right, they would have their very own party later.
Luis himself wouldn’t mind some solitude as well. He’d danced a while with Gerome, but that didn’t stop his mind from racing and trying to make sense of the whole shift in his behavior. Nothing made sense, no matter which way he turned it. A slight pounding had appeared at his temple a while ago, but he managed to ignore it until now.
He leaned up to speak into Gerome’s ear. “I think I’ll go back to my room now.”
“I’ll go with you if you don’t mind. I think the party is over now that the grooms are leaving. There is no point in staying. Can you give me a couple of minutes to say goodbye?”
“Of course.” They swayed to the edge of the dance floor, where Gerome released Luis.
“Thank you,” he said, holding Luis’ hand a second longer while looking into his eyes. Then he hurried over to Sam and Alex, who were trying to wrap Angela in a cute pink jacket. He spoke a couple of words with them, then kissed Angela on the forehead. Luis watched the whole interaction from afar. Should he go over and say goodbye or thank you? No. He wasn’t at this party because he’d been invited. He was here because he had to be. Still, he waited while Gerome finished so he could take him back to the apartment.
“Okay, I’m done. Let’s go if you are ready?” Gerome smiled and indicated that Luis should lead the way out of the room. The heavy doors closed behind them, and Gerome stepped up so that he walked next to him. Silence surrounded them as they made their way through the corridors of the palace. The building was huge, much bigger than he’d guessed from the outside. It was also full of nooks and crannies, and after the fourth or fifth turn, Luis was lost. Now he knew why Gerome had told him he’d accompany him. He’d probably wander these halls forever.
They still hadn’t said a word by the time they arrived at Gerome’s apartment. Luis simply had no idea what to say. None. And either Gerome had the same problem, or he enjoyed the silence after the party, which Luis fully understood. The pounding in his head had increased even more, and now he wanted nothing more than his bed and darkness so the pain would stop.
Gerome opened the door and allowed Luis to enter first, then closed and locked the door behind them. Luis waited in the entrance area. He couldn’t simply go to his room. That would be rude, and after Gerome went out of his way today to not be an asshole, he shouldn’t be one either.
Gerome opened the door to the living room, but let Luis go in first and then followed. Luis stopped a few feet inside and ran a hand through his hair. Looking around the room, he tried to decide what to do next. Even though this wasn’t a date, it somehow had the feeling of one. He stopped himself. This wasn’t a date. They were mated. “Thank you,” he finally murmured, averting his eyes.
“I have to thank you, and I wish you a good night,” Gerome said softly.
Luis caught his gaze, but he’d had enough for today. He couldn’t stand one more minute of this strange behavior, and so he turned and fled from the room throwing a “goodnight” over his shoulder.
Inside his room, he stripped out of his clothes and crawled under the sheets. Despite the darkness, the pounding in his head increased even more. He closed his eyes and forced his running mind to slow down so he could find some sleep. Things would make more sense tomorrow.