Connected
The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How They Shape Our Lives—How Your Friends’ Friends’ Friends Affect Everything You Feel, Think, and Do
Nicholas A. Christakis, MD, PhD
James H. Fowler, PhD
What are the most surprising findings you’ve ever had in the scope of your research?
Well, we were not surprised by the fact that people affect one another. But we were indeed surprised by how much and how far these sorts of effects played out in social networks. For instance, our friends strongly infl uence us in so many domains that many people might consider quite private or individual—such as our body size, our emotions, our choice of partner, or our voting behavior. We were also surprised that these effects could skip over people in a chain, so that your friend’s friend’s behavior could affect you even if your friend did not adopt that behavior (we describe how in the book). Finally, we were surprised by the regularity of the Three Degrees Rule; in study after study we kept finding that many (but not all!) things we do can spread out to our friends, our friends’ friends, and our friends’ friends’ friends, but no further.
You are continuing to study the effect neighborhoods can have on individual health. What are the biggest variables or infl uential circumstances you’ve found?
Actually, we study neighbors, not neighborhoods. The old way of studying the infl uence of the social environment was to take some average value for all the people in a neighborhood and see if it affected people who live there. For example, someone might study how many people in your zip code or your block have college degrees or know CPR and whether this affects you in some way. But new research can pinpoint much more precisely who lives next door, who lives on your block, and so on. When we look at these person-to-person effects, we find that it’s only your next-door neighbors who usually matter; they have a special effect.
Can people work to change their neighborhood environment to create positive effects on themselves and their community?
Yes, absolutely! Make good behavior visible. A vast amount of research shows that we copy others and we shape our ideas about what is acceptable behavior when we see how others behave. Gandhi said, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” But this really starts much closer to home: you must be the change you wish to see in your social network. If you want your neighbors to mow their lawns, mow your own. If you want your friends to be healthy, make healthy choices yourself. And, as it turns out, this bounces back and helps you too.
We know that the ties between us are important. How can we take better care of them, and take advantage of their power to improve our society?
We must pay more attention to our social life and the extraordinary effect a single change can make. We spend a lot of time focusing on economic inequality, but social network inequality may be a much more important problem because it creates a rich-get-richer cycle for those who are well connected. As we learn more about networks, we should do a better job measuring them and learning how to help people on the periphery stay connected. Plus, as we understand networks better, there may be a way for policy makers and public health experts to better target interventions within networks of people, to the benefit of all.
Recently you have published findings on divorce and the phenomenon of divorce clustering. What can you tell us about these findings? Does this mean that couples who have divorcing friends are automatically inclined to divorce themselves? What are the other important factors?
The word automatically is much too strong. We do find that people are influenced by their friends’ divorces, but they are also infl uenced by their friends’ decisions to stay together. One interesting result from that study is that the effects spread only as far as two degrees of separation, in part because children play a protective role. People with more kids are less likely to copy their friends, perhaps because the cost of a breakup makes the example set by others less relevant.
Are we better off if we stay away from friends with negative habits?
No. Stay connected! Although bad things can spread through networks, the overall effect of a close personal connection is usually positive: on average, every friend makes us healthier and happier. So instead of dumping friends who do things we don’t want to copy, we should work to infl uence them to change.
What particular aspects of social networks are you currently researching? Is there anything especially exciting coming to light?
We are especially intrigued by the idea that evolution may have shaped the networks humans form with one another, and we think this might give us a clue about some important questions: Why do we help each other so much compared to other species? Why do we feel chemistry with some people and not others? What is the reason for the spark in love at first sight?
Would you donate a kidney to a stranger? What if your spouse or closest friend received such a donation—would that make you more likely to donate? Would it affect your decision making if you knew that your donations would spur others also to donate?
Would you describe yourself as having many acquaintances or as having just a few close friends? If you threw a party, would the guests already know and like one another or would you be introducing everyone for the first time? How do you think the party would be different with different kinds of social networks?
Who has the greatest infl uence on you? Might there be other people who you do not know who have had an even greater influence on you?
Have you ever been “infected” with laughter, anxiety, or other emotions like the girls in Tanzania? Do you laugh out loud when you are alone?
How do your friends’ moods affect you? In what ways do people’s emotions, including their happiness, reflect group behavior, like the flocking of birds?
Do you think men and women react differently to loneliness or depression? How would those differences affect the spread of emotions in men and women?
Nicholas and his wife, Erika, once lived within just four blocks of each other, but they had to be half a world apart before their social network brought them together. How did you meet your own spouse or significant other? Was it a chance encounter, or did you get some help from your friends and family? Is it possible that your “chance” encounter was not so chancy after all?
If physical attractiveness were measured on a 10-point scale, would you rather be a 6 in a world of 4’s or an 8 in a world of 10’s? Why? What about income? Would you rather earn $32,000 where everyone else earns $30,000, or $33,000 where everyone else earns $35,000? What about vacation days? Would you rather have two weeks of vacation per year where everyone else has one week, or would you rather have three weeks of vacation per year where everyone else has four weeks? What is the difference between these “goods” (attractiveness, income, and vacation days)?
Do you think friends affect how often we have sex or the kind of sex we have? How about parents—do they have an effect, too? Who do you think has more infl uence on teenagers—parents or peers?
Do you know anyone who has “died of a broken heart”? How do you think your partner might adjust if you died? Do you think it’s harder for men or women? In what ways?
Have you ever dated your ex-lover’s current lover’s ex-lover? Would that feel creepy? Why or why not?
Why do you think close friends who live hundreds of miles away might have as much of an effect on your eating and exercise behaviors as those who live next door? Given how social networks work, what might you do to change your weight and exercise habits?
If you go out for dinner with friends, are you the only one who orders a drink (or doesn’t order a drink)? Do your friends affect how much you drink or whether you smoke? How about other health habits? Would you be infl uenced by a friend’s sex life? A neighbor’s? A celebrity’s?
Have you ever heard about a disturbing news event, such as a suicide, and worried that others might “get the wrong idea” from it? Do you think you could be personally infl uenced by a traumatic film, book, or news story?
Have you ever guessed how many jelly beans there are in a jar in order to win a prize? How did you do? Do you think you would guess better or worse if you could see other people’s guesses? Why? If you found a terrific house that was absolutely perfect for your family’s needs but you saw that it had been on the market for eighteen months, would you consider passing on it? Should you?
How did you get your current job? Did friends help? Were they close friends or acquaintances? Why might close friends be less helpful for finding a job?
Does your work environment have a mix of strong and weak ties? How do you think this affects your business and creativity?
Did you vote in the last presidential election? Do you think you might act differently next time if you knew that your election behavior affected others’ votes? Have you tried to change someone’s mind about a political topic, and did you succeed (sooner or later)?
Is it good or bad for a politician to be seen as “well connected”? Is it possible to be too well connected?
Do you think blogs, MySpace, Facebook, and Twitter have had an effect on politics? Do they help fat cats or the little guy? Have they made things better or worse? Has such technology changed the nature of our democracy?
Do you watch a reality show where people are competing with each other? Have you ever seen a true act of generosity on the show, or do you think everyone is in it for him- or herself? How important is altruism if you want to win one of these games? How important is altruism if you want to win in life?
Would you describe yourself as fundamentally selfish or cooperative? How would you describe your family members or coworkers? What is your opinion: Do we learn these traits, are we born with them, or is it some combination?
If you are religious, is God a member of your social network? Why or why not?
How far have you traveled in your life? How far did your parents and grandparents travel? Do you think you have more friends as a result of seeing more of the world?
How is virtual life different from real life? Do you think others would treat you differently if you had a different appearance? Do you think you would behave differently if you had a different appearance?
Do you think the online world has improved or compromised relationships in your life? If so, how?
Do you think people have too many “friends” on Facebook and other online social networking sites? Are these “real” friends? How are we coping with all of this new social activity?
Do you trust information on Wikipedia? Is it truthful, or, as Stephen Colbert says, just “truthy”? Have massive collaborations like Wikipedia personally affected your life?
Can you think of a time when someone helped you in a way that enabled you to help someone else? Is this kind of “pay-it-forward” behavior rare or common? How far do you think one person’s kindness can spread in a social network?
Do social networks help the rich get richer? If so, how can we help people on the edges of these networks keep from falling behind? How do networks help us understand socioeconomic inequality in our society?
Do you think social networks are inherently good? If so, why do so many bad things fl ow through networks (such as disease, misinformation, and violence)? In your own life, do the benefits of connection outweigh the costs?
The surprising power of social networks is that we may have less control over our own decisions than we think. But, at the same time, we may have more influence over others than we realize. Is it worth it to know that, while we are infl uenced by others, we also can have a substantial influence on them—that we are a part of a human superorganism?