Grace refused to look at Robyn as they drove. “I should call Leah.”
“They might have news for us by the time we reach the hospital. Why don’t you wait until you have more information?”
“I appreciate the confidence you have in your colleagues…” Grace rested her head on the window. “But I can’t seem to muster up your optimism.”
Robyn didn’t push and they completed the ride in silence.
Grace felt like she should apologize for her pessimism. She knew it seeped from the memory of that life-altering phone call she had received from Leah. She tried to remember how she had known from the minute she’d picked up the phone that something was wrong. What had she read in the silence between her answering and Leah speaking? Not that her sister had been crying. That came later. Grace wondered if she were to call now if her voice would sound the same to Leah. Robyn was right in advising her to wait until they had more information.
Later, she would realize how fortunate she was to have Robyn shuttle her from the station to the hospital and guide her right to the emergency room entrance. She didn’t have to think, just follow.
At the counter, she tested her voice. “Do you…” She couldn’t even form the question and looked to Robyn for help.
“Has the coast guard called in a rescue from Humboldt Bay? This is Grace Warren. They’re searching for her brother, Tyler.”
“I can’t confirm incoming traumas.” The nurse paused, looking sympathetically at both of them. “But we do have an air delivery on its way. If you’d like to go to the front desk and give them your details, I will keep you posted.”
“But,” Grace interjected.
“HIPAA regulations,” the woman insisted.
“We’ll get the paperwork started, thanks,” Robyn said, steering Grace away. “When my guys called in, they most likely used a radio. They wouldn’t be able to say more than race, gender and age. Even if she did have a name, the law is really strict about protecting privacy. Frustrating, I know, but necessary. We’ll do the paperwork, and once they match his information to you, they’ll be able to release more.”
Again, Grace found herself following Robyn, sitting where she suggested and providing the information that Robyn needed to complete the paperwork from the front desk. “I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Grace said as they walked back to the emergency waiting room. “If I’d gotten here at all, I would have been running into walls and screaming my head off trying to make someone do something. Anything. You’re so levelheaded.” She remembered the calm she had felt radiating from Robyn when she met her at the barn.
“Panic is a natural response, and it’s productive if you can channel the energy. You can be faster. Stronger. But you have to stay in control, harness it effectively.”
“You seem so in your element here. I’m surprised you retired.”
“All those adrenaline rushes take their toll,” Robyn answered.
“You told your friend that the job would have taken you. What did you mean by that?”
Robyn took a deep breath before answering. “There were days that I dreaded going home so much that I let that influence my decisions in the field.”
Grace waited for Robyn to explain. When she didn’t, she stopped walking. “Influence your decisions how?”
“I didn’t care whether I came home or not.”
Grace didn’t know how to respond. Before she could, the nurse in ER flagged them.
“The coast guard just delivered your brother. They’re working to stabilize him, and I’ll call you in just as soon as I can.”
Grace scanned the room. They’d had a view of the emergency area as they walked from the front desk, but she had seen no gurney, no medical team rushing to his aid. Her body wanted to sag with relief hearing that they had, indeed, brought in her brother, but she couldn’t bring herself to believe it without having seen him.
“I don’t understand,” she said to Robyn. “Is he okay?”
“They most likely brought him in from the helipad. They’re going to want to get him stripped down and warmed up with blankets. It’s important that they get some fluids into him and bring up his temperature. That’s what they’re going to be doing right now.” Suddenly her face lit up. “Eason!” she called.
The coast guard officer turned toward Robyn’s voice. “Landy!” His wide smile flashed straight white teeth.
“Come on,” Robyn said, pulling Grace. “He’ll be able to give us more information.” When they reached the towering man, still decked out in his orange rescue suit and harness, Grace could still see the impression from his goggles on his red face. If the man in front of her had protective gear and still showed the effects of the cold, what did her brother look like?
Robyn spoke first. “This is Tyler’s sister. Was he conscious in the water?”
“Just starting to slip. It’s a good thing we got there when we did. He had the jacket on, and his face was out of the water. His vitals stayed stable on the way in, and they’re setting him up on the IV now.” He looked directly at Grace. “It’s a tiny space in there, and they’re working like crazy. They couldn’t wait to get me out of there. It’ll probably be fifteen, twenty minutes before they let family in.”
Grace gulped back tears. She wanted to see him for herself but understood the need to stay out of their way.
“Fred, I can’t thank you enough,” Robyn said.
He laughed. “Remember how much you hated the families thanking you? You always came back grumping about how you were just doing your job and how awkward the thank-yous made you feel?”
Robyn punched him. “Point taken. It sucks being on this side.”
“I bet. But it’s a good thing you were. This guy owes you his life. He a friend of yours?”
Robyn looked at Grace as if she answered the question. Grace could see her doing the math in her head. She cared about Grace, so she cared about Tyler. “He’s family,” Grace answered, seeing in Robyn’s eyes that her words explained their relationship perfectly.
“Family, huh?” Fred said with weight, looking from one woman to the other.
“I’ll let her fill you in,” Grace said. “I need to find some coffee.”
“I’ll come with you,” Robyn said.
“No. Stay.” Grace appreciated Robyn’s support but needed to be alone. She had information for her sister now. She should make the call. After she took the chill off, she thought. Following Robyn’s directions to the cafeteria, she bought herself a cup of coffee and doctored it at the counter.
Outside, she saw a fountain and lush garden and wove through the tables and chairs to find a door, spotting it around the U-shaped patio. She headed toward it. An elaborate plaque hung in the hallway, announcing the donor who had made the outdoor meditation garden possible.
She remembered the petty officer’s words about how her brother was alive because of Robyn. Framed clippings detailed the work the hospital had done to save, repair and rehabilitate a patient who was rescued from a particularly horrific boating accident. Curious about the conditions of the patient’s rescue, she passed over the details of what the trauma center had done, looking for more information about the accident itself, strolling slowly toward the doors to the garden. Directly across from the doors were photographs of the young man and the medical staff attached to the copy of the thank-you letter the family had written to the hospital.
The next photograph stopped Grace short.
An official pinned a medal onto a woman in uniform. The text next to the photo read “For Outstanding Acts of Bravery.” Though she had already recognized the recipient, her eyes skipped to the name for confirmation.
Chief Petty Officer Robyn Landy.
Grace took a step closer. Though she’d immediately known the woman in the photo was Robyn, she hardly recognized her decked out in her dress uniform. The light blue shirt beneath the dark jacket brought out the startling blue of her eyes. Robyn’s eyes in a younger face. A formal and surprisingly guarded face. This Robyn was all professionalism, aloof in polished perfection. Grace recalled how she had told Kristine and Gloria that Robyn had potential. Rough around the edges, she’d said. The Robyn in the photograph was all polish, a version Grace should have found even more attractive.
She carefully read through the bravery citation that had earned Robyn the award. Two young men had been hauled out of a roiling, frigid sea. Their friend was still trapped inside the capsized boat. Without hesitation, Robyn had risked her own life to board it and free the victim. In the details, she recognized Robyn, her selflessness and instinct to put others before herself. The space and encouragement she gave freely to both Jen and Tyler, how easily she provided support for Kristine’s family. She gave whatever she could without hesitation.
Robyn had said it was time to rescue herself. She had been brave enough to make the choices that made her happy, yet Grace in her habit of grooming artists for a professional career had only seen what she thought Robyn could be. She now understood that if Robyn were to give Grace what she thought she wanted, they would both be unhappy. Grace realized she didn’t actually want what she had been asking for.
She chastised herself and reached out to touch her fingers to the frame. Though the image comforted her, she missed the Robyn she knew, modest, unassuming. Something else too. Her eyes roamed the picture, trying to place what else was different. She closed her eyes to call up the Robyn she loved and saw it immediately, the contentment she emanated.
The serenity she appreciated in Robyn came from the life she chose wandering beaches looking for wood to turn on her lathe. Though full of renters, her house was always peaceful. Grace’s own house looked exactly like the one she’d had back in Houston. Robyn’s felt like Arcata. Grace remembered Gloria’s advice to see and enjoy the town she lived in instead of running to the city every weekend. By pushing Robyn to change her home and show her bowls on a larger scale, she was again ignoring the beauty right in front of her.
“Grace?” Robyn’s voice broke her thoughts. “I was looking all over the cafeteria.”
“You found me,” Grace answered.
Neither moved. Robyn stood at the end of the hallway, giving Grace the space she had asked for when she left the emergency room. There was so much that Grace wanted to tell Robyn, that she had found her Robyn the day she kissed her on Wedding Rock, that Robyn had helped her find a quiet place inside herself that she had never felt before. She wanted to explain the difference between the photograph and the woman she knew, but also share her awe in how much Robyn had contributed to her brother’s rescue. She had so many ideas flying around inside of her head, but all that left her mouth was, “I’m so sorry, Robyn.”
“Sorry?” Robyn approached her.
“For not seeing you.”
Surprise flashed across her face. She glanced at the wall, and her crestfallen transformation stabbed Grace’s heart. “That’s not me.”
“I know,” Grace quickly assured her. She reached for Robyn, her fingers landing on the soft cotton of a wrinkled flannel Robyn had pulled from behind the seat in her truck. Her straight-legged jeans were rolled at the bottom and held sawdust from her day’s work, and she wore socks with her Birkenstocks. Grace laughed out loud at the realization that she had fallen in love with a woman who wore her sandals with socks. She drew a frame around Robyn. “This is the Robyn I love.”
“But recognition is important to you.”
“You are important to me. And I’m proud of you and want to show you off. At work, I’m paid to showcase people. I need to leave that energy at work. I love the calm in you. I love the calm I feel when I’m with you.”
Robyn considered this a frustratingly long time. “What about my toaster?” she finally said.
“Your toaster I will never love,” Grace laughed. She grew serious. “I keep saying I love you, and you’re not saying anything.”
“I love you, Grace. So much it scares me. What happens if you decide you want someone more spiffy?”
Grace wrapped her arms around Robyn. “Too late. Like I told your friend, we’re already a family. Kind of a crazy jumble that…”
“Tyler! He’s okay! I came down to tell you they’ll let you see him now,” Robyn interjected.
“He can wait a few minutes,” Grace said, pulling Robyn in for a kiss.