Avery
I can’t breathe. It’s like the walls are closing in on me. I’m fighting a complete panic attack and losing the battle. I need to be alone to process what we just did. I’m emotionally depleted and close to tears.
I need him to leave.
“Avery?”
“Please? I’ll call you tomorrow,” I tell his neck, my voice quivering. “Just, please leave.”
Andrew stiffens, his body still wrapped all around me. “Avery, talk to me.”
I can feel his heart beating. It’s too much. I’m overwhelmed. I just exposed every one of my secrets to my next-door neighbor, and I’m about to fall apart. I’m ashamed and freaking the fuck out. I don’t want him to see me like this.
I shove at him, glad that he eased his hold. I scramble away from him and roll into a ball on my other side, pulling the covers up over me and hugging the edge of the bed. I’m holding my breath, willing him to leave. If I try to speak, I’ll start crying and make this infinitely worse.
Andrew doesn’t speak or move for several moments, then he clears his throat. “I don’t want to leave you like this, Avery.”
“Please,” I beg. “I swear I’m fine. I just… Please.”
He slides from the bed finally.
I hold my breath while I listen to him moving around the room, grabbing his clothes and putting them on. When it’s silent again, he sets a hand on my hip, making me wince. “Avery…”
“Please…” I’m holding my emotions inside by a thread. A very thin one. Any second and I’m going to fall completely apart and embarrass myself in a way I’ll never be able to recover from.
He sighs and finally walks away. I listen to his retreat down the stairs and keep my ears peeled until I hear the front door open and close.
That’s when I finally let go and start sobbing uncontrollably. I reach for my unicorn, pull him to my chest, and bawl like a baby. I have emotional overload that won’t stop. It’s too much to unpack, and I need to cry for a long time to let it all out.
I bury my face in my pillow and punch it, willing this disaster to pass, but I can’t stop the tears. If I don’t at least get some sort of control, he’s going to hear me from the other side of the wall when he gets to his own bedroom.
As I pull in a deep breath and let out another sob, I nearly jump out of my skin. A hand lands on my back. Seconds later, a body is behind me, wrapping me in a tight cocoon.
Andrew’s voice reaches my ear, “Shh. It’s okay. I’ve got you.”
I cry harder. “You were supposed to leave,” I choke out, hiccupping.
“No. I was definitely not supposed to leave, honey.” He holds me tighter, stroking my hair from my face. “Let it out, honey. I’m right here.”
“I don’t want you to see me like this,” I wail.
“Avery, I’m head over heels in love with you. That means I’m going to see all sides of you. What we did for the last few hours was like an extremely long and intense scene. I’m not an expert, but honey, you’re experiencing subdrop.”
I keep crying. I can’t fully grasp what he’s saying. Is he right? I’ve never experienced this before. “I’m…” I sob. “I can’t think… I’m falling apart.”
“It’s okay. I’ve got you.” His hands are stroking me, soothing me everywhere.
I’m shaking violently.
He releases me partially to remove his shirt and shoes and climb under the covers, gathering me against his chest. His lips are near my ear. “I’m not going anywhere, Avery. I would be a horrible Daddy if I left you to deal with the emotional fallout on your own.”
I sob. “Stop being nice.”
He chuckles, his body shaking mine. “I can’t help it.” When he stops laughing, he kisses my temple. “You’re mine, Avery. During the good times and the ugly ones. You’re going to have to stop fighting me. I know you’re scared. I know you were picturing someone older with gray hair…” He chuckles again, teasing me.
“Daddy…”
“There’s my girl.” He tips my head back, making me face him.
I’m a hot mess of tears and snot. I’m sure my face is splotchy and my hair is a wild mess. All I see in his gaze is love. Oh, God. He said he loves me…
He brushes my hair back, his expression so caring and gentle. “You’ve been alone long enough. It’s time to stop fighting me. Let me in. Let me be the Daddy you need. Let me mow your damn lawn and take care of you in a hundred different ways. Let me hold you when you’re sad and make love to you when you’re horny.”
I’m stunned speechless. I shudder again, more tears falling. “You don’t need to see me like this,” I reiterate.
“Yes, I do. I’m the one who guided you into subspace. As a Dom and your Daddy, I’m the one who will hold you and rock you while you deal with the subdrop. Don’t argue with Daddy.”
I almost smile.
He nudges the corner of my mouth. “Did I see a grin?”
I bury my face against him again.
“Talk to me, honey.”
For a few minutes, I say nothing. I need to pull my thoughts together. Finally, I swallow my pride. “I’ve never let anyone see me this way. I feel raw and vulnerable. It happened so fast. One minute I was stomping my foot and telling you to get off my lawn, and the next minute you were inside me, splaying open my deepest secrets.”
“We did take things rather fast. This is true. But it felt right every step of the way. It still feels right. I’m in this with you, Avery. Let me be your man, your Dom, and your Daddy. You don’t have to be so strong all the time anymore. I’m here.”
I look at him again. “It’s too fast.”
He shakes his head. “It’s not. We’ve known each other for two years. Today was just the breakthrough day when I decided to climb over your walls and let myself in.”
“You can’t possibly be so sure we can make this work. I’m a hot mess, Andrew. I have a time-consuming job, and when I’m not doing it, I spend a lot of time hiding from life in my special room with my books and toys and games and puzzles and crayons and stuff.”
He smiles. “Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone here to take the reins so you don’t have to do it all alone? Someone to help cook and clean and read to you? To play with you and take baths with you? Someone to ease all the stress at the end of the day with mind-blowing orgasms?”
I shudder. “Not if this happens every time. I’d be too drained to get up in the mornings. I’d never make it to work.”
He chuckles. “I don’t think every time we have sex will wreck you emotionally like this first time. It was more intense because you didn’t know what to expect. Hell, I didn’t either.”
I frown at him. “Did you enjoy it too?”
“Oh, honey, more than words can say. Best sex of my life, hands down. It turns out pretending you’re a virgin seeing a man naked for the first time is fucking hot.”
“Would you do it again?” I bite my lip.
“In a heartbeat. What I won’t do is walk away afterward. Next time, I’ll be more prepared for the subdrop. I’ll hold you and hydrate you and maybe add a hot bath with some bubbles.” He grins. “Speaking of water, you need some. I’m loath to let you go so that I can get it.”
“I’ll be okay. You’re right. I’m thirsty.”
He frowns. “You won’t move? Not an inch?”
I shake my head. “Promise.”
“If I come back and you’re not where I left you, I’ll spank your little bottom.”
“Yes, Sir.”
He releases me to slide out of bed.
I hear him taking the stairs two at a time in both directions in less than a minute. When he’s back, he sits against the headboard and pulls me into his arms, tugging the comforter up with us to cover my shivering body.
He unscrews the top of one of the bottles and holds it to my lips. “Drink, Avery.”
I obey, my palm coming up to cover his hand.
When he lets me pause, I say, “I can do it.”
“You can do anything in the world, honey, but you don’t have to do it all. Let me.”
A piece of my heart becomes his as I take another drink from his hand. “Thank you, Daddy.”
“Any time, honey.” He kisses the top of my head.
“You ran up and down my stairs two at a time. Why can’t I?”
He chuckles. “Because I’m the Daddy.” He taps my nose. “You’ll do as you’re told without sassing me.”
I wrap my arms around his chest and hold on tight. “Will you stay?”
He flinches. “Stay?” He leans me back and looks me in the eye.
I feel stupid all of a sudden. Just because he came back and said all the right things and gave me water doesn’t mean he plans to sleep in my bed. But maybe I’ve made assumptions based on everything he’s said, including the fact that he loves me. “Never mind.”
His brow furrows. “Are you asking me if I plan to sleep in this bed with you, Avery?”
I lick my lips. “Well, yeah.”
“Have you not heard anything I just said, honey?” He’s chuckling now. “I’m not leaving now, or ever. Not in an hour. Not tomorrow morning. Not the next day, or next week. You can come over and look around my condo and decide which one you like better, but then we’re picking one and sleeping in the same one from now on.”
My eyes widen. “You’re serious.”
“Dead serious. I’ll keep telling you until you believe me.”
I sit up straighter, letting the covers fall, not caring that my chest is exposed. This is important. “But you can’t be that sure.” Please let him be that sure…
“I do not have a single doubt. Do you?” He lifts a brow.
Do I? No. God, no. My only doubts revolve around trusting this to be real. Another round of tears fall. “You mean it. You said you loved me. Did you mean that, too?”
He wipes my tears with his thumbs. “I meant every word. Please let me spend the rest of my life showing you how much I mean it.”
I look around, coming up with excuses, feeling like I need him to know me better. “I’m a disaster, Andrew.” I point at the closet. “I lied earlier. If you open that, a thousand things will fall out on the floor.”
He laughs. “I know that.”
I stare at him, coming up with another challenge. The biggest one of them all. “Are you going to make me clean up my things?”
“Absolutely.” His hand comes to my cheek, stroking it. His voice is deeper when he continues, “That’s what you’re missing, isn’t it, honey? A Daddy to guide you and enforce rules and discipline you when you’re sassy or disagreeable or don’t put your toys away.”
I slowly nod. He’s got my number. “Maybe not all at once,” I suggest, glancing at my closet and shuddering at the thought of cleaning up my messy house.
He chuckles. “Definitely not all at once. I’ll set up chores and tasks you need to do every day.”
“What if I don’t finish them? What if I’m naughty and I mess up all the time?”
His smile melts me. My pile of arguments is dwindling. “We’ll discuss a variety of punishments.” He lifts a brow. “You can expect my hand to make contact with that sweet bottom of yours pretty often though.”
“I don’t really enjoy being spanked all the time,” I remind him.
“And I don’t think you need a long, drawn-out session over my knee that ends in tears. A single hard swat like I gave you earlier should be sufficient.”
I squirm and reach back to touch my bottom. I can still feel the slight sting. He’s right. It was perfect. He got my attention, left a lingering reminder, and could easily curb my bad behavior with one swat to my behind.
“Am I right?”
“Yes, Sir.” I sigh, my shoulders dropping.
“Do you have any other arguments to throw at me? I’m ready.”
“I like to be twelve most of the time I’m home.”
“I’ve noticed. And that’s okay. How about this: you choose how often and how long you want to be in your Middle space. When you need to switch, just say the word. I’ll switch with you. But…” He lifts my chin. “When you’re twelve, I’m the Daddy. Always. That means you don’t have free reign to do whatever you want.
“It means rules and guidance. It means putting your toys away when Daddy says so, eating dinner when I tell you. It means I regulate how much television you watch and what shows. It means you go to bed when you’re told and get up when I say. It means you might get grounded if you’re defiant, or end up sleeping on your tummy if I’ve had to spank you hard.”
I can’t breathe and even though we just had the most intense sex of my life less than an hour ago, I’m soaked and so horny. I reach for the covers to pull them over my hard nipples.
Daddy snatches the comforter out of my hands, leaving me exposed. “Don’t hide from me. Tell me what you’re thinking.”
I hesitate only a moment, and then I come up on my knees and throw myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing his cheek. I climb fully onto his lap, straddling him, not caring that I’m naked and chubby.
He thinks I’m perfect, and he’s perfect. So it’s settled. “That’s exactly what I want, Daddy. I’m the luckiest girl in the whole world, and I love you so much.” I hug him tighter.
He holds me just as tight for a minute before easing me back to meet my gaze. “That makes me so happy, Avery.” He kisses me all over my face. “I love you, honey.”
I giggle when he kisses me more, his lips landing everywhere.
I grind my pussy against the front of his jeans, wishing I hadn’t asked him to put them on in the first place. “I need you again, Daddy.”
He grabs me by the hips, lifts me off him, and deposits me on my back, coming over me. His fingers thread with mine and he plants them over my head. He holds my gaze. “I’m not going to make love to you again tonight, Avery. You’re still reeling from emotional overload.”
I pout.
He chuckles. “What I will do is eat that sweet pussy until you come in my mouth, and then I’m going to tuck us into bed and we’re going to sleep. Tomorrow is a big day.”
I frown. “Tomorrow is Sunday. Why is it a big day?”
“Because we’re going to spend it moving stuff from one condo to the other, making a list of chores, and establishing boundaries. I bet you have papers to grade, don’t you?” He lifts a brow.
I look away.
“Avery…”
“Yeah…”
“You lied to me this morning when you said you’d been up for hours working, didn’t you?”
My eyes widen. “You can’t punish me for stuff I did before ten minutes ago. You weren’t even my Daddy this morning.”
He chuckles. “Nope. Not going to punish you. But if you lie to me again, you’ll be standing up to grade your papers, understood?”
“Yes, Sir.” I squirm again. “It makes me horny when you get all bossy.”
He wiggles his brows. “I know. From now on, you can expect a lot of bossy.” He gives me a quick kiss. “And I’ll reward you with a lot of orgasms when you’re good.”
I grin. “I like the rewards part.”
“Then I guess you better get used to the ‘good’ part.”
I giggle. “I’ll try.”
His mouth drops onto my chest, kissing first one nipple and then the other. He makes his way down my body, giving my hands a warning press into the mattress before releasing them.
Before I know it, his hands are wrapped around my thighs, holding me open, and his mouth is on my pussy.
I gasp. He doesn’t take his time. He sucks my clit in hard and flicks it with his tongue. My arousal has been building and building while he asserted his dominance over the last half hour, so I’m right on the edge.
I stiffen, digging my heels into the mattress. I hold my breath, but I can’t stop the tsunami. It comes at me hard and fast, pushing me over the edge. I scream as I come against his mouth, my pussy pulsing hard.
Daddy licks my clit gently as I float back to earth, and then he climbs up my body and kisses my lips. He tastes like me, and I don’t care. It’s hot.
Finally, he pulls away, tugging me to sitting and then completely off the bed. He pats my bottom. “Go use the bathroom and brush your teeth.”
His command is all it takes for me to rush toward the bathroom. I shut the door and glance in the mirror. I’m a mess, my hair standing in every direction. My face is covered with red splotches. My lips are puffy and swollen. And I’m grinning like a loon.
I hurry back to him, half expecting to open the door and find him gone. I blow out a breath when he’s still there. I glance toward my dresser. “I need jammies.”
He chuckles. “No, you don’t. Not tonight. Maybe sometimes, but definitely not tonight.” He holds the covers back on one side of the bed and I approach, feeling shy all of a sudden.
“What if I prefer the other side of the bed?” I ask.
“Tough.” He pats the mattress.
I giggle as I climb in and snuggle against him. “What’s special about that side?” I’m needling him. I don’t care a bit.
“It’s closer to the door. Daddy will always sleep between you and the door.” He kisses my forehead.
How does he manage to always say the exactly perfect thing? I sigh and relax against him.
“Sleep, Avery.” He holds me tight.
I fall asleep so quickly, I don’t remember anything else.