CHAPTER 38

Claudia rolled over, raising her arm before it landed with a thud on the empty space next to her. She sat bolt upright. The empty space next to her? In a moment she got her bearings. She wasn’t at home. Any of her homes. She was on the floor of a beige motel room with Nora in a bed snoring next to her. She had had no intention of falling asleep. She stood up and walked out of the motel room. It would take her thirty-five minutes to walk to Rachel’s house but she needed the time. She was in no rush to break Dylan’s heart.

The sky was indigo as light from the imminent sunrise began to creep through the shadows.

‘I’m supposed to get married today,’ she said to a few tree branches full of leaves as she started down the street. ‘All I need is a husband.’

She was still wearing her pyjama T-shirt and shorts from the night before and she could feel her make-up caked on, streaked with the oil from her skin. She rubbed her eyes and inspected the impressive amount of eye shadow that had stayed put through the drama.

She wouldn’t have minded if the walk had taken a couple of days. Weeks, months even.

Instead she was at the front door long before she wanted to be.

She felt along the ridge above it and took down the spare key, opening the door just enough that she could sneak in but not so far so that it squeaked. She squeezed through the gap and a sound as familiar as her fingernails greeted her. Dylan’s breathing.

In the living room she found him shirtless and still in his trousers from the dinner, sleeping softly in a barely contained position on the couch. Claudia kneeled beside him and rested her forehead on his shoulder, kissing it gently as he stirred awake.

Dylan looked at her groggily and rolled onto his side, reaching his arm out towards her. She winced as he gently started stroking her hair.

‘I really wanted to marry you,’ he finally said.

‘I know.’

Dylan began to quietly weep. Claudia averted her eyes, but beyond the guilt found herself strangely unmoved.

‘Don’t you kind of want this too? Haven’t you felt something missing?’ she finally offered.

‘No.’

‘I’ll pay back my half of the money we put in.’

‘No you won’t.’

‘I guess it’s a good thing we didn’t have enough money to book a honeymoon.’

‘For you, yes.’

‘You’ll be okay.’

‘I hope you will be.’