Recently, I watched a film in which one of the characters asked, what are the principles upon which your life are built? I couldn’t resist taking a look at my own life and answered love, family and stability. Upon consideration, I realized that all of those principles were built on a foundation of my desire to enrich the lives of not only myself, but especially those two people who mean the most in my life and who have continued to enrich my existence with each passing day; my sons, Justin and Stefan. For them I will be eternally grateful.
The urban dictionary definition of ride or die chick is to be down with your husband or man, no matter what, through it all, the good and the bad. The term typically applies to a man and a woman, but I believe it can also apply to unbelievable friends. It seems as though I’ve spent most of my life searching—for something, I’m not sure what. Parents I know love me, family that will always be there or the true love of a wonderful man. However, when what I need and want sometimes falls short, I’ve been blessed enough to have incredible friends that are my ride or die chicks; there to fill the empty spaces. Thank you, Jacqui Charles, Marciala Remouns, Yvonne Landy, Joanne Schmidt, Christina Williams and Tarra Taylor for being my ride or die chicks—no matter what.
As human beings, we are intrinsically social creatures. From the moment we are born, our interactions with the outside world go a long way to mold and shape us into the adults we will one day be. Many believe that we are supremely in control of our own destiny. However, when I consider the helpless, dependent—and impressionable nature of a child, I must humbly disagree.
In a study of young adults who suffered abuse or neglect as a child, eighty percent met the criteria for at least one psychiatric disorder by the age of twenty-one, including depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and suicide attempts.
In a U.S. Department of Health and Human Services study of homeless youth, it found that forty-six percent of those surveyed had escaped a home where they suffered physical abuse and seventeen percent left because of sexual abuse.
Young people who were victims of child abuse and neglect are twenty-five percent more likely to experience teen pregnancies, delinquencies, and to suffer mental health problems. They are more likely to perform lower in school, to engage in high-risk sexual behavior, and to use alcohol and illicit drugs.
According to a National Institute of Justice study, abused and neglected children were eleven times more likely to engage in criminal behavior as teens, are close to three times more likely to be arrested for violent and criminal behavior as an adult, and are over three times more likely to be arrested for one of many forms of violent crime.
I have always held great empathy for those who are most helpless; especially children. When I decided to write On the Other Side, one statistic in particular resonated in my memory—without help, boys who witness domestic violence are far more likely to become abusers of their partners and/or children as adults, thus continuing the cycle of violence in the next generation.
Most of us hope that the legacy we leave behind is admirable and that of honor. Unfortunately, for many children, their legacy is wrought with pain, suffering and confusion; all remnants of a very vicious cycle. For far too long, the devastating effects of domestic violence have been cloaked in a cocoon of secrecy. However, the tide is turning and awareness is opening the door to healing.
Thanks to organizations like Battered Women’s Justice Project, Child Welfare League of America, Equality Now, INCITE! Women of Color Against Violence, Institute of Domestic Violence in the African American Community, and Futures Without Violence, the cries for help of countless men, women and children will be heard and will no longer be considered one of life’s dirty little secrets.
I would like to thank all of these organizations, and those like it, that have made great strides toward stamping out the short- and long-term effects of domestic violence in all of our communities.
In addition, I would like to thank all of the politicians and district leaders, who have a vision for healing, not only where the issues are the most popular concerns, but instead where growth, expansion and rehabilitation are tantamount to survival. Thank you, Mayor Bill de Blasio, Public Advocate Letitia James, Council Speaker Melissa Mark-Viverito, District Leader John Ruiz and a special thank you to Congressman Charles B. Rangel, for helping me and my family close to forty years ago, when I was a scared little girl, with no place else to turn.
I would also like to thank all of the brilliant writers and trailblazers, who offer stories of challenges, consequences and healing, while simultaneously stimulating and educating their readers; writers like Zane, Charmaine Roberts Parker, Shamara Ray, Nane Quartay and William Fredrick Cooper. Thank you all for sharing a bit of yourself as well as your unique world view, with not only myself but so many readers who are eager to be enthralled by your eloquence.
To all my family and friends who continue to support the vision I have for myself, I appreciate you in so many ways.
Thank you to all my readers, but especially, Johnathan Royal, for his tireless, enthusiastic support of so many writers, myself included.
Enjoy On The Other Side!
Love,
Michelle Janine Robinson