Damita’s cell phone rang sometime around five a.m. She already knew who it was. Neal had been calling every day, sometimes several times a day. When he figured out that he couldn’t get through to her at work, he started calling Carmella’s home phone number. He would almost always call her cell phone immediately after every call. Carmella didn’t think she should speak to him, but Damita realized that she couldn’t avoid him forever.
“Hello, Neal,” she said.
“Hello, Damita. How are you?”
“I’m fine.”
“When are you coming home?”
“Neal, I’m not coming home. That’s not my home anymore.”
“You’re my wife.”
“Why is that your answer for everything I say? Being your wife doesn’t mean I belong to you. I’m not your property. You can’t do whatever you want to me and expect me to grin and bear it. I’ve had more injuries in the two months since we’ve been married than I’ve ever had in my entire life. It’s not healthy. I loved you. I wanted more than anything for our marriage to work. When we got married it didn’t even occur to me that it wouldn’t work. In my mind you were the perfect man. You’re far from perfect. There aren’t many things I’m afraid of, but you scare me.”
“I can’t believe after all we meant to each other that you won’t give me another chance.”
“I’ve already done that. You did the same thing all over again. This is my life we’re talking about. The last time you beat me I thought you were going to kill me. Not only that, you’re doing drugs again. You didn’t complete your time in rehab. All of these things add up to bad news for me.”
“You keep talking about you. What about me? What about what I’ve been through. I haven’t been able to function without you. My business is suffering. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I need you. I can’t live without you.”
“Neal, the difference between you and me is I’m not hurting you.”
“You are. You are hurting me. Every day that you’re not here is agony for me.”
“That’s not what I meant.” She sighed. “Neal, I have to get ready for work. I can’t do this now.”
“Aren’t we as important as your precious job?”
“Neal, I’ve got to go.”
“Damita, if I can’t be with you I might as well be dead.”
“Neal, stop it. I’ve been trying to make sense of all of this. I’ve been reading everything I can about abuse and what you said is exactly what so many other men say. We made a mistake. Both of us made a mistake. Maybe the reason I anger you so much is because I’m not the woman for you.”
Damita knew that wasn’t the reason. She knew enough about abuse to know that Neal had a problem and it wasn’t anything she was doing or who she was.
“You’re the only woman for me and I’m the only man for you. We belong together.”
“We only knew each other a year before we got married. We didn’t spend enough time together to get to know one another. We got married too quickly. It hasn’t even been two years yet. Neal, that’s such a small portion of a lifetime. We should call it a mistake and move on. I want to have a life; a happy life. We can’t have that together. Too much has happened. There’s nothing binding us together. We need to move on, Neal. We have to. This isn’t good for either of us.”
“I told you when we got married that for me marriage is forever. There is no end for us. There will never be an end. If I can’t have you I might as well be dead. There is no life for me without you.”
“Neal, you’ve got to stop this. You should go to rehab, get some counseling and you can begin again with someone else. We can both have a normal life, eventually.”
“If I do all that will you take me back?”
“It’s over. Why aren’t you listening to me? It’s over.”
“You and I are not over. We will never be over,” he said, hanging up.
Although it was early, Damita decided she might as well get ready for work. She went to the kitchen and made coffee only to find Carmella’s friend, Derrick, standing in front of the refrigerator in a robe.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“No apologies necessary. I’m the one occupying Carmella’s space. I’m the one who should be saying sorry.”
“That’s not the case at all. Carmella has been so worried about you. I’m glad you’re here. She doesn’t worry as much with you close by for her to watch over. We both still think you should file a formal report and get an order of protection.”
“You’ve obviously been a police officer for a long time. Or, at least long enough to make detective. Tell me something; are orders of protection truly effective?”
“The intended purpose is to protect you from further harm from someone who has hurt you; to keep the abuser away from you, or to stop harassing you, or keep the abuser from the scene of the violence, which may include your home, place of work, or apartment. It’s a civil order, relatively easy to get, and it does not give the abuser a criminal record. For the abuse victim it just makes sense. There’s no reason not to get an order of protection.”
“Wow, did you memorize that from a book?” Damita said, chuckling.
“It does sound rehearsed, huh? I’ve been doing this a long time.”
“So you know better than most whether it works or not. Tell me the truth. Do you really think that piece of paper will make a difference?”
“If you want the real truth, Damita, no, it won’t save your life. It probably won’t make much of a difference. However, you will have something documented in case—”
“In case of what?” Damita interrupted.
“In case you need to call the police.”
“And, in case I show up dead, right?”
“No, that is the purpose of the police. You should have gone to the police when he beat you the first time. At least, then they could have arrested him.”
“You and I both know he wouldn’t have spent more than a day or two in jail.”
“You’re probably right, but hasn’t this happened more than once? The more times the offender goes before the judge the better his chances of serving real time. Unfortunately, you never made a formal report, so it’s your word against his at this point, as far as any earlier offenses are concerned. Did Carmella tell you I spoke to him?”
“Yes, she did.”
Derrick looked at Damita pointedly. “It was the first night you got here. I’ve got to tell you, he’s a classic case of a sociopath. You combine that with his already demonstrated violence and that makes him very dangerous. He’s not going to give up. They never do.”
“I keep hoping he’ll meet someone and then I’ll be free. He was fooling around with a girl in my office. She came to work one day with stitches over her eye and I’m ashamed to admit, I was relieved it was her and not me.”
“Don’t feel guilty. It’s understandable. You’ve been through a terrible ordeal. I could talk to him again if you’d like.”
“I thought about that. I’m afraid if you do, it will anger him even more. At least I’ve been able to avoid him since I’ve been here. And, thanks to my boss, he’s on a list with building security. He’s not allowed to even enter the building.”
“Well, that’s something at least. The offer still stands. If you want me to speak to him again, I will. Think about it.”
“I will.”
Derrick smiled broadly. “Well, I better get Carmella’s bowl of cereal to her. You have a good day.”