Captain Mathis is an asshole with awesome biceps. I’m normally a thigh girl, but I have to admit – I could be swayed, if he wasn’t such a dick.
I want to think I’m old enough not to mope, but well, I’m pissed. This is my world, my brother, my retreat! When he’s involved, members of my family die. It’s taken every minute of every day to help get Petr healthy again, and I’m still scared that something might go wrong, that he, too, might be taken from me.
“Seatbelt,” Captain Mathis directs.
I pull it on.
Damn Marine. Not satisfied with killing people. He’s gotta kill the environment, too. I’m reduced to being a silent prisoner in the back of one of the eco-unfriendliest vehicles on the road.
No one speaks for a few minutes. It’s tense again, the way it was when I confronted him in Petr’s room.
My brother clears his throat. “It’s a beautiful day,” Petr says. “Will be fun getting back into the forest. Always loved it there.” By the smile on his face, I know he’s thinking about how he and Mikael built an insane obstacle course in the forest and would race each other through it every time they were home. “I’m definitely testing out the new leg this week,” he adds.
I open my mouth to protest, knowing the brutal, three-mile course is the last thing he should do before his final tests next week.
Captain Mathis gives me a warning look in the rearview mirror. “Fifteen clicks.”
I don’t exactly know what a click is, but I’m assuming it’s some military way of measuring distance. I do know that the asshole driving us would dump me on the side of the road in a heartbeat. If there’s one thing I sense about him, it’s that he doesn’t give idle threats.
I stare out the window, clamping my mouth closed.
Petr twists to glance at me. “First time for everything,” he says, impressed.
Biting my tongue, I lean forward and slap him on the back of the head.
He laughs. “Captain Sawyer Mathis, meet my sister, Katya.”
“We met at your brother’s funeral,” Captain Mathis says quietly. “She slapped me.”
“Katya!” Petr exclaims.
I ignore them both.
“No worries. Like a mosquito bite. Barely felt it,” Captain Mathis replies.
Get your jabs in now, jackass. The minute I’m out of the truck …
“Choking down the cookies she sent was worse.”
I gasp, staring at him.
“Ex-nay on the ookies-cay,” Petr says, laughing too hard. “They were a nice thought, Kitty-Khav. We all appreciated them.”
Hurt, I glare at Captain Mathis. I’m tempted to slap the back of his head, too, but something tells me he’s more likely to go ninja on me than my brother will. I’ll settle for making his life hell this week, since we’ll all be spending it together.
There’s nothing wrong with my cookies. Baba loves them. He’s the one always encouraging me to send them overseas to help cheer up deployed soldiers. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised a man with a nickname like Iceman doesn’t like cookies. He probably steals candy from kids and tells five year olds there’s no such thing as the Easter Bunny.
“Baba always asked what it’d take to keep you quiet, Kitty-Khav,” Petr says, smiling. “I guess the answer is a Force Recon Marine. God knows two Green Berets couldn’t.”
I’m glad he’s smiling. I just wish it wasn’t at my expense.
They chat about people they know, rattling off names of other service members. I’ve heard Petr mention a couple of them but can’t recall much about them. Gazing out the window, I watch as we exit the highway for a winding road leading through a forest. My family owns a lot of land along here. Our house is situated on about four hundred acres, a quarter of which was annexed from an old summer camp then renovated earlier this summer.
Mikael would love this camp idea.
Thinking of him makes me hurt inside. My chest gets tight, and my heart aches so much, I rub my left shoulder. I haven’t been to the forest since Mikael’s death. It didn’t seem right to return to his favorite place without him.
We turn down a dirt road, and Petr, too, falls silent. I have a feeling he’s thinking the same thing. I’ve gotten good at sensing his mood after sitting with him for most of the past four months. I was there when he awoke from his coma and when the night terrors seized him. He’d wake up screaming, and I’d crawl into the hospital bed with him and hold him until he stopped shaking. I helped him eat and take his meds when he was too weak or fevered to do it himself, and we developed our own little language for those days where he was too tired from the many surgeries to speak.
My eyes are blurring as I stare outside the window at the forest. I blink back tears.
“Kitty-Khav,” Petr says, stretching his arm back over his head towards me.
I reach forward and take his hand. He squeezes.
“We’ve never been out here without Mikael,” he explains to Captain Mathis.
He doesn’t deserve to know. I want to say something, walking be damned, but there’s a lump in my throat that prevents me from speaking.
Captain Mathis catches my eye in the rearview mirror. His attention lingers for a moment before shifting back to the road. He doesn’t say anything, and I glare at the back of his head.
Of all the people my brothers served with, why does he get to be here?
“We’ll be okay, Katya,” Petr tells me gently. “You keep making cookies, and I’ll keep working out.”
I don’t want to smile, but I do. I love my Petr so much. I didn’t simply put my life on hold for the past four months, I straight out ditched everything to be with him. I’d do it again in a heartbeat, too, even if I’m not sure how things will ever go back to normal. My life is a disaster right now.
Deal with that later, Kitty-Khav, I tell myself. Someday I’ll have to pick up the pieces but not today.
“Oh, god, you didn’t invite Harris.”
I lean to see what Petr is looking at. The camp is less than a quarter a mile ahead, and a group of men and one woman are out front of the log cabin welcome center, at the flagpoles. There are three men clumped together, guys I recognize from pictures Mikael sent home. Even if I didn’t know they’re members of his and Petr’s teams, it’d be obvious by the way they were built and how they moved.
“We’re even,” I reply.
“I can’t stand him, Katya.”
I’m not about to tell him I didn’t invite Harris Westwood the Third, either. I had nothing to do with the list of camp counselors, or Captain Mathis never would’ve made the cut. I imagine one of our father’s assistants put together the list of camp counselors and chose Harris because of how close his family is to ours.
“Who’s Harris?” Captain Mathis asks.
“A friend,” I reply curtly.
“He’s been stalking you since you were sixteen,” Petr retorts. “Like a wolf after a sheep. Not the good stalking.”
“You’ve never spoken to him for more than five minutes, and I traveled to Europe and South America with him,” I point out. “He’s not a wolf or stalking me. He’s a friend.” Sorta. In truth, Harris makes me uneasy sometimes, because he can be a little too intense. Not sexy-boyfriend intense. More like … obsessive serial killer intense. “You’ll get along well with him, Captain Mathis.”
“I trust your brother’s judgment,” Captain Mathis replies.
“Maybe I should show him my leg, let him know how painful it is to have a limb cut off,” Petr says.
“Keep that thing in your pants, Petr,” I respond.
Captain Mathis chuckles. “I don’t think your team will let anyone near your sister, Khav.”
“I can take care of myself,” I reply. “I don’t need violent meatheads running my life.”
Petr says nothing, probably knowing there’s nothing safe to say.
“Remember. No jumping. No running unless it’s on the track or treadmill. Any pain or discomfort, and we –“ I start, going down the list of things the doctor warned me about.
Petr pretends to listen. I have a feeling his attention is on his friends, who he hasn’t seen since he came home.
Captain Mathis parks, and we all exit his monster truck. He goes to greet those he knows, while I wait with Petr. My attention shifts briefly to the flags flying above us. The US flag is at the top of the pole. Beneath it flies one with Mikael’s picture, like he’s looking out for us. It’s a nice thought, one I hope is true.
My foolish brother, Petr, is already lugging around packs as big as I am. He hauls it out of the truck bed with no apparent strain.
“Do you want help?” I ask, itching to assist.
“No, sis.” He grunts and slings it over his back. “You didn’t bring a sleeping bag?”
“Why would I?” I reply.
“Um, if you’re a counselor, don’t you sleep here overnight?” He gazes down at me, amused, his blue eyes sparkling.
Shit. I glance at the forest. I love it during the day. At night, when there are bugs and spiders and it’s cold, I’m not as much of a fan.
But if Petr’s staying, so am I. “I guess.” Sometimes I worry too much about him and end up messing up my own circumstances.
“Have Zach bring you some stuff,” he recommends.
Zach is one of our father’s assistants. Nodding, I pull out my cell and type him a note.
Petr goes to the others. Their loud greetings and bear hugs draw my gaze. I smile, thrilled to see the huge grin on his face. Captain Mathis is the only one in uniform, which doesn’t surprise me. He strikes me as the kind of guy who is never really off the clock.
“Not your usual ride,” Harris says, approaching. Handsome and lean, he’s got a trust fund the size of mine and aspirations of following his father into the family business one day. He’s smiling, but there is never warmth in his eyes. It’s one of the reasons that I sometimes don’t like being around him. He can be moodier than me, too, which I have no patience for.
“No,” I say. “Good to see you, Harris.” I give him a quick hug.
“Always happy to help your family, Kat,” he responds. “None of us knew how to show our support, so we jumped at the chance when Zach called.”
Then he says something sweet like this, and I tell the little voice inside me that thinks he’s creepy to shut up. With a father who doesn’t trust anyone and brothers convinced terrorists live in our basement, it’s sometimes hard for me to forget that normal people don’t suspect everyone around them of being up to no good.
“Thank you so much, Harris!” I squeeze him hard.
He laughs. “Anything for you, Kat.”
“Katya!” Petr calls.
I release Harris to see Petr waving me over. The others are gazing at me, except for Captain Mathis, who is looking at Harris.
I go and wrap my arms around Petr.
“My sister, Katya,” he introduces me and bear hugs me back. “Hasn’t left my side in four fucking months.”
“Language, Petr,” I murmur.
He rolls his eyes. “This is my team. Captain Mathis you met, Riley Holland from the Navy SEALs, Ian Schneider from Air Force special ops, Carson Gray – a Green Beret Mikael and I trained with – and of course, Army Captain Harper Jacobson. She’s our bridge between the no man’s land where we operate and the rest of the world.”
“Nice to meet you all.” I shake hands with everyone except Captain Mathis. Knowing how rough things are where my brothers operate, I’m surprised to meet a woman among those he considers his teammates. Harper is toned and taller than me with a quick smile. I like her at once, especially knowing her job was to take care of my brothers.
“Oh, and Harris.” Petr motions to the man standing a few feet behind me. The way he says it irritates me, but I keep quiet for once, wanting to know a bit more about those he considers friends.
There are eight of us total to act as camp counselors and kid wranglers for the one-week program. I’m starting to think I should’ve paid more attention when Zack and Baba were explaining what being a counselor entailed. I’m not too keen on camping.
Petr is so happy, though, that there’s no part of me that’s about to complain about being stuck in the forest for a week.
Since joining the military, Petr has a life I can’t relate to. I felt left out many holidays when he and Mikael would return with stories about people they knew and places they’d been. This time, I get to meet his friends, and to spend a week with the man he’s become …
… while also ensuring he doesn’t do anything that the doctor has forbidden. I may not have brought my sleeping bag, but I’ve got a list in my pocket with activities he’s not allowed to perform and emergency numbers if he does.
“Welcome!” My father’s booming voice draws everyone’s attention. He’s standing on the porch of the reception and activity center. His eyes are glowing, his burly form dressed in jeans and a light sweater. “Come in, all of you!” Larger than life, my father is the reason my brothers turned out to be the characters they are. I take after my mother, who my father describes as more delicate.
I just remember her temper and how disappointed she was that I didn’t have her talent to become a ballerina. And of course, the night she died in a fire. The scarring on my back from that horrible night is the reason I don’t wear anything but long-sleeved shirts. No bathing suits or t-shirts or pretty little blouses.
Father shakes hands with everyone then hugs Petr and me before we go in. There are six chairs at one long table with a full bag in front of each. Sitting beside Petr, I look through its contents.
There are a couple of polos we’re supposed to wear to identify us as counselors, emergency first aid kits, dangerous insect and animal identification sheets, lists of children’s names with special information by each, emergency procedures and contact information for everyone here …
I pull out the black belt. It’s got a couple spots for attaching water bottles, knives, and I’m not sure what else. I try it on to make sure it fits and leave it. With some irritation, I see that the polos in my bag are all short-sleeved. There’s a reason I don’t wear short sleeves, one that everyone who might’ve put together the bags should know.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out who made sure I got short sleeves. She’s standing in front of me, smiling.
“You’ll be partnered up and work in teams with your assigned kids,” Brianna, the eighth counselor, already wearing a polo, says, handing out team assignments. Beautiful and perky with light brown hair and more makeup than I think belongs in a forest, she dated Mikael and Petr both over the years.
We never really got along for a few reasons. In addition to tormenting me in school about the scars on my back, she crushed Mikael’s heart to date Petr then dumped him last year, after he thought they were getting married some day.
He still likes her. It doesn’t hurt that she’s gorgeous and successful.
Which are all reasons why I can’t stand her. Aside from her screwing over my brothers, she also likes to remind me that I never really know what I want to do with my life.
“You’ll be joined at the hip with your partner for the extent of this,” Brianna continues. “Since part of what we’re doing is a competition, we tried to match up the teams so it’s not too easy for one team to win.” Her gaze is on the guy Petr introduced as Riley, the SEAL.
He winks at her with a smile. The biggest of all of them, it’s no wonder she’s gunning for him first.
But it pisses me off, knowing my brother still cares for her. She didn’t visit him once in the hospital.
“It’s okay, Kitty-Khav.” Petr leans over to say. With all the time we spent together, he’s able to read me as easily as I can him. “I’m over that.” He’s smiling and appears to be sincere.
If I had any doubt, the bitch would be on the floor right now, unconscious.
Brianna reaches me and hands out my team information. Six kids are listed on the page.
And then I see who my partner is.
No way in hell.