Nathan awoke with a jolt. He hadn’t planned on falling asleep. His arms were around the naked, slumbering form of Kaylee. He returned his head to the pillow, mind moving quickly. Their combined scent was on her skin, the smell of sex thick in the air. It made him horny again. His dick was still inside her from the last round of lovemaking, and it grew hard.
With regret, Nathan withdrew from her body, hating the idea of not being inside her anymore.
She needs the sleep. Her body was exhausted from his lovemaking, her spirit weary from Shadowman draining her energy. He didn’t try to fool himself into thinking he’d made love to her for her benefit only. He was well aware that he’d wanted her since first laying eyes on her, and nothing about her was a disappointment. Not the scent of her skin, her sweet flavor, the way her body responded to him. They were made for each other, and she’d trusted him in bed the way she didn’t outside.
Should he feel bad about sleeping with her at a time when she probably didn’t need the added complication?
No. There were some things in life he wouldn’t trade for a clear conscience, and bedding her was one. She’d proven to be as exhilarating in bed as she was out, the perfect mix of challenge and submission with a wanton lack of inhibition, once her guard melted away.
His gaze went over her, and he was unable to suppress the flare of desire at the sight of her naked body. Her aura was clear and sparkling, a sign she was at peace for the first time since they’d met.
His restlessness returned quickly, though, as he began to realize this was likely to be their only time together, if he didn’t figure out to save her. He didn’t want to leave at all but spend as long as it took in bed with her for him to feel fully satisfied. There was an encyclopedia of things he could think of doing with her, enough to keep them in bed together for weeks straight.
With regret, Nathan carefully worked his limbs free from her warm, soft body and rolled out of the bed. He pulled on his jeans with a glance at the clock. It had been afternoon when they started making love and past dark when they stopped to sleep. After a few hours of rest and his body relaxed from lovemaking, he was ready to roll.
He exited the bedroom and closed the door behind him. His otherworldly senses picked up the fact that Shadowman had returned at some point. Guardian angels were like small bursts of sparkles and light, like distant stars twinkling in the sky.
Shadowman was like a cold, dark splotch in comparison, a tiny black hole.
Nathan rinsed his face with cool water to wake up the rest of his senses then left the bathroom. He paused at the entrance of the living room. While he knew Shadowman was there, he wasn’t expecting the creature to be in its human form, seated on the couch.
“Good morning,” Nathan said casually. “You waiting for me?”
“Yes.” The demon spoke with a low hiss.
Nathan sat in a rocking chair, the only seat close to the Shadowman he was comfortable sitting in. He waited, sensing a demon didn’t seek him out, if it didn’t have a message of some sort.
“You must stay away from her,” Shadowman said.
“Why?”
“Because I say so.”
“You’re warning me. I’ve dealt with enough demons to know they normally just attack.”
Shadowman said nothing.
“Which leads me to believe there’s a reason you didn’t rip me a part in the alley and waited patiently like a dog for me to face you here.”
Shadowman rose abruptly, and Nathan assessed he was right. He remained in place, sensing he’d almost provoked the creature enough for it to talk.
“Why?” he asked.
Shadowman made an unpleasant sound like a hiss.
“Let’s start with an easier question. I know how stupid you demons are,” Nathan said. “Are you being told by the bosses in Hell not to kill me?”
“No.”
“So they want me dead.”
“Probably.”
“Okay.” Nathan paused to think again briefly. “Is Kaylee right? Did you not hurt me because she told you not to?’
Shadowman gave a snort of derision.
“That answers that. The only thing I can think of is that you can’t kill me.”
“Soul agreement.”
Nathan froze. “Absolutely not.”
It was Shadowman’s turn to be amused. At least, Nathan interpreted the strange gurgle it made as a laugh.
“Shit.” Nathan rose and paced. “That’s worse news than you are.” His attraction to her and his hesitation to kill her began to make sense in that light. No wonder it felt like her body was made just for me. “But if true, the worst you can do is try to scare me off. You can’t hurt me, can you?”
The grating sound emerging from Shadowman was one of pure frustration.
“No offense, but I refuse to believe this nonsense about a soul agreement. I do not – nor will I ever – settle down with one woman. Ever.”
“Then leave,” Shadowman snapped.
Right now, that sounds like a great idea. Nathan went still again, his insides churning. He always walked away, and the demon was telling him that he’d no longer be able to, not if he had an OTL.
He left the demon in the living room and returned to the bedroom. He refused to look at Kaylee, instead snatching his clothes, shoes and socks.
He strode through the house, collecting his wallet and keys. The cold streaking through him was something he hadn’t felt since the day he agreed to take on the role of a spirit guide. He hated the idea of some part of his world being outside his control, of the soul agreement that marked him as the OTL that the guardian angels had chosen for Kaylee. It was a special, sacred honor, one he didn’t know what to do with – one he didn’t really want.
After all his work and dedication, the Other Side conspired against him.
Then again, a woman fated to die soon might be the perfect kind of wife to have.
You’re a cold bastard sometimes, Nate. He shook his head. He couldn’t let that happen, even if he didn’t know what to do about her.
Shadowman remained in the living room, restlessly shifting with the fluidity of the shadow he resembled.
“You should probably stay here,” Nathan advised it. “If 3G found her at her office, they’ll find her here.”
Shadowman said nothing.
Nathan left. He didn’t realize until the cold night air hit him that his heart was racing and his hands clammy.
Of all the things he’d seen over the past three thousand years, he never expected to see a fallen guardian or have a demon tell him that he had an OTL, the sickeningly sweet phrase the angels had coined. He stopped, halfway to the car, and tossed his head back. His breaths drifted upward in a thin fog towards the star-studded sky. It was almost five. He’d planned on meeting Maggy last night and realized she was probably pissed.
He had to fix this thing with Kaylee. After Zyra died, he swore never to settle down with any woman. He wasn’t about to stick around long enough to fall for this one, even if she was gorgeous and witty. And scared. Great in the sack with a body he could see himself spending every night exploring.
Shit. Nathan rubbed his face hard.
At least with Shadowman around, she was safe. He could walk away for now and figure out what the hell he was supposed to do next.
He left and drove back to the townhouse in Arlington. Dawn lit up the eastern sky by the time he pulled into the driveway.
Maggy was up, if the lights glowing in every window were an indication. He turned off the car and got out, not letting himself dwell on Kaylee, not when thinking of her was stirring up emotions he didn’t want to feel.
He walked in the front door and glanced around. Maggy had called in Randy and a few others who were on the main level, eating breakfast cooked by a large African American man Nathan knew as Jordan.
“Nate!” Maggy exclaimed. “Where the hell have you been?” She leapt up from her seat at the table with another guide.
The others in the room glanced up, waving at him.
“Long story.” Nathan waved back. He tossed his keys on the counter.
Maggy frowned at him. “We thought you’d been kidnapped or worse after the sinkhole incident.”
“No. Just had to take her somewhere safe.” He grabbed a plate and went to the makeshift buffet, filling his plate with ham and scrambled eggs. “No hot sauce, Jordan?”
“You don’t need that death sauce,” was the offended response. “I cook damn good, Nate.”
Nathan smiled and sat down at the breakfast bar.
“Nate!” Maggy was pissed. She pushed his shoulder. “You just disappear for half a day then waltz back in with no explanation?”
“Just doing my job, Mags. Took her up north. Not sharing the location with anyone,” he said firmly. “Before the sinkhole, 3G tried to kill us all by collapsing the building. You wanna tell me what’s going on? I’m pretty sure you know.”
She sat beside him. “They’re a little more active and uh … assertive than I initially told you.”
He glanced at her, not at all pleased with the news.
“They seem to have made Kaylee the justification for their cause. I guess I didn’t want to tell you because … well, they’re led by someone you know. A guide. Or former one.”
“He convinced a bunch of ex-angels to commit violence. Whatever he is, he’s dangerous,” Nathan said. “You know where he is?”
“It’s a she. Not a he.”
He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. We still need to find her.”
“You may be better situated to helping than us.” Maggy pulled out a piece of paper from her pocket and unfolded it. “This particular cult leader knows you. I really hoped you could come here, do the job and leave. I never wanted to show you this.”
Nathan sat back, chewing while he waited. He doubted anything could surprise him after his discovery this morning.
“Jordan, this is fantastic,” he said after swallowing. “You’re right. Don’t need the death sauce.”
“No shit,” Jordan replied.
Maggy was glaring at him.
“I’m listening,” Nathan said.
“Good. Because if anyone can fix this, it should be you.” She slapped the paper down in front of him.
His appetite fled. Nathan stared at the paper, unable to believe the grainy photograph was real. The last time he saw the woman in the picture, cameras hadn’t existed. Modern technology hadn’t either.
It was the day before he became a guide, the day he thought she’d died.
He picked up the paper, gazing intently at the face of Zyra, the woman he left the Roman armies to marry and settle down with, the only woman he’d ever loved. They made it a year before the spark faded and the problems began. He went back to the army, the only other thing he really knew. It was three years after they married that she died, killed by a routine raid from invaders trying to take the peninsula. Such raids weren’t uncommon when one lived on the Sea. He’d been pondering the offer from Pedro, ready to turn it down in order to stay and work on his failing marriage.
When she died, he had nowhere else to go.
“I thought this would be hard,” Maggy said quietly, studying him. “You burn through women for three thousand years then find out your wife is still alive.”
“Pretty sure a three thousand year old separation qualifies as divorce,” he said, tossing the paper. He tapped his fingers, deep in thought.
“There must be something special about her. You never let any of the rest of us you dated get close.”
“I like things simple,” he replied. He went back to eating.
“That’s it?” Maggy demanded. “I tell you your dead wife is still alive, and you’re going to sit and eat breakfast?”
He nodded.
She gave an exasperated sigh. “I’ll admit, I’m kinda glad you’re taking this well. If we can’t handle the situation, we might have to take her out. I wondered how they were able to track Kaylee, but it makes sense, if she’s one of ours.”
Nathan paused in his eating. For a few precious moments, he’d forgotten about his biggest problem. Or maybe, had Kaylee just become his second biggest issue?
“Where is she?” he asked, glancing at the paper.
“Why?”
“You didn’t tell me who she was so I could sit around.”
“True,” Maggy said. “But I need to know what your stance on her is.”
“Professionally, she’s an issue. I’ve probably got the best chance of reasoning with her, which I’m assuming is why you told me. If I can’t get her to back off, we go to plan B.”
“You’re determined not to kill Kaylee,” Maggy said, puzzled. She leaned closer to him, until only he could hear her words. “Nathan, what if Zyra is right? What if the best way – the only way – to do this is to get rid of her?”
Nathan sat back. He’d wanted to find a way to help Kaylee before, because years of preserving innocent lives made him want to adhere as much as possible to the spirit guide credo. Now that he knew there was another reason why he hesitated, he was faced with a better understanding of what was really at stake. He couldn’t operate with his normal disregard for the rules.
“I know that look,” Maggy said. “We need to talk, don’t we?”
He smiled mirthlessly at the familiar words. Normally, he was the one to say them.
“Yeah, we do,” he said and stood. “In private.”
He walked away from the kitchen and trotted up the stairs to the level with the bedrooms. A small sitting area was at the top of the stairs, between the two wings of rooms.
Maggy sat, but Nathan couldn’t. He was starting to feel wired. Thinking too much.
“Zyra’s probably right,” he started. “The simplest solution, the easiest one, is to get rid of Kaylee. Poof. Problem solved. No more Shadowman, no portal to Hell.”
“Yeah,” Maggy agreed.
“Devil’s advocate. No pun intended.” He faced her and flashed a grin.
She rolled her eyes.
“Tell me why this solution won’t work.”
Maggy hesitated. “Well…” she trailed off, pensive. “Her death won’t get rid of this new group of Zyra’s. It might give them a good recruiting foundation, which could cause an issue with us down the road.”
“Okay. What else?”
“No one knew about Amira and the gateway until a few weeks ago. I assume now that it’s close to being common knowledge, especially since Zyra has been one step ahead of us all this time. If we and Shadowman can track the girls, others can, too.”
“All valid points.”
“But not the reasoning you’re looking for,” she said. “What am I missing?”
Nathan was quiet for a moment. He sat down on the couch, thoughts on Kaylee, Zyra and the horrible timing of running into both. His life had been relatively simple for so long.
“You’re the last person I thought would shy away from pulling the trigger. Why, Nathan?”
“Taking Kaylee out of the equation is a band-aid, a temporary fix,” he replied. “You’re right. Her death won’t help us deal with Zyra or prevent others from targeting Amira. We’ve entered a new era. We can’t go back to the way things were last week, which means, Kaylee may be the first person we have to deal with this, but she won’t be the last.”
Maggy was quiet.
“We need to find a way to deal with what’s coming in a way that allows us to maintain our work as guides,” he continued.
“You always were a few steps ahead,” she murmured. “I can’t shake the feeling there’s more, Nathan. And not just to Zyra’s involvement and how she knows all the stuff she does. There’s more to why you aren’t willing to just pull the trigger on this one.”
“There is,” he said quietly. “But I can’t tell you why. I’d rather not kill Kaylee. I’ll work with the others and deal with Zyra personally. If I tell you where Kaylee is, I need you to promise you’ll keep her safe from anyone who wants her permanently dead.”
Maggy’s stunned expression faded. “Wait, you you’re passing her off to me?”
“It’s part of protocol, Mags. If you’re personally involved, you get reassigned,” he reminded her. “So I’m reassigning her to the person I trust most, outside of Troy.”
“You’re quoting protocol at a time like this?” she demanded.
“What do you want me to do? The chance of Kaylee living through this is very small.”
“It’s better if you’re involved!”
“I am involved. I told you – I’ll deal with Zyra. I’ll run interference with everyone I have to. But I can’t be on the front line.”
“Is this because of Zyra? You still have feelings for her?”
“No.” I have no fucking idea what I feel towards her.
Maggy studied him for a long minute. “You’re chicken shit.”
“I am not.”
“Are, too!”
“Not!”
“Sorry to interrupt,” a third voice drew their attention to the stairs. Randy’s head and shoulders were visible. “Someone named Zyra is at the front door.”
“Dammit,” Maggy muttered. “We’ll be down in a minute.”
They watched Randy’s head disappear from the stairwell as he descended the steps once more. Nathan started forward.
Maggy grabbed his arm. “You’re seriously just done with this conversation?”
“Yeah. I told you how it’s gonna be,” he replied. “You promise to see to her safety personally?”
“Of course. I’d do anything you asked.”
“I’ll text you her address.” Nathan turned and left, trotting down the stairs.
“Nathan!” Maggy snapped.
“Thanks, Mags,” he replied with a wave. He heard her cursing him and smiled tightly, aware she’d do what he asked, no matter how pissed she was about his reasoning behind it.
She was somewhat right. In circumstance like this one, he probably shouldn’t be reassigned. If he were a different person, he’d take his place beside his OTL, where Pedro and the angels had conspired to put him, and live happily ever after. His instincts were telling him that he would only cause more danger and grief to Kaylee.
Or maybe, he feared he would. Unaccustomed to fearing anything, Nathan wasn’t able to determine what his emotions and instincts wanted him to do, except that he hated not being able to push them aside.
Instead, he was about to face his wife for the first time in centuries. Not one to ponder on his emotions, he was still curious about how he’d feel facing her. Seeing her picture had pulled up many memories – most of which were negative. He suspected it would be different in person when he was able to see her, smell her, touch her.
If Kaylee was meant to be his, then Zyra had been a mistake. One that influenced his behavior for thousands of years. It didn’t seem possible that was the case, that he’d made that big of a mistake. His relationship with Zyra had been incredible while it lasted. How much did a soul agreement really mean, if he was able to marry someone else and then live alone for so long? He’d always regarded soul agreements and OTLs as destiny, a very cruel and horrible fate that awaited a few select people. Now, he was hoping they were a choice and that losing a chance at an OTL wasn’t going to put him through the heartache he went through when he thought he’d lost Zyra.
He wanted none of that. He wanted his emotions jammed deep down inside him, out of the way, so he could do his job.
Nathan prepared himself to face Zyra. Randy paused at the front door, hand on the knob. Nathan nodded to him, and the door was opened.
Three figures stood at the end of the sidewalk leading up to the townhouse. Nathan exited alone and pulled the door closed behind him. He walked halfway down the sidewalk, taking in the three.
Spirit guides. All of them. Zyra was dressed all in black, her dark blonde hair in a loose ponytail and her features stoic. Even after so long a part, he still knew the exact shade of her blue eyes and remembered how he used to trace her upturned nose with his index finger. She was trim and tall, her leggings clinging to her shapely legs and hugging her ass in a way he found appealing. He recalled the days they spent in each other’s arms, making love instead of eating and sleeping for hours at a time.
Like him, she hadn’t aged a day.
She regarded him for a second then moved away from the two male guides to meet him at the halfway point.
“Zyra.”
“Nathan.”
They sized each other up for a moment. Nathan saw how fast the pulse was at the side of her throat. He, however, felt calm, though he strained to smell her scent. Would it be familiar? Comforting? Intoxicating, the way he remembered it?
“Your target isn’t here,” he started.
“That’s how you want to start this?” she asked. “No hello or nice to see you or where have you been?”
“I’m not certain it matters at this point,” he replied. “You aren’t here to say hello, anyway.”
Zyra shifted her weight to one foot and nibbled on her lower lip, a sign he recalled from their time together meant she was troubled.
“You’re wrong. I did come to say hello.”
“You had three thousand years for that.”
Anger glittered in her eyes. “It wasn’t easy walking away from you.”
“As I recall, you died.”
“I didn’t want it to end that way. Or at all,” she said softly. “I was never supposed to fall for you in the first place, just recruit you. Pedro wouldn’t let me retire, which I tried to do multiple times after we were married.”
“He’s shifty for an angel,” Nathan said.
Zyra crossed her arms, waiting. She was beautiful and bright. And dangerous, if she was willing to take down an office building in the middle of the day to get to Kaylee.
Nathan said nothing else. Had he ever really known her? He could certainly never trust someone who killed a fellow spirit guide.
“He told you, didn’t he?” she asked. “He told you I didn’t die, that I was sent to recruit you?”
“No, he didn’t,” Nathan said shortly.
“I see. That explains why you didn’t try to find me.”
“What stopped you from trying to find me, Zyra?” he asked, glancing around.
“Can we talk in private?” she asked.
“Sure.” He spun without waiting for her to say more. Knowing Randy at least was watching, he pointed to the garage door.
It was opening by the time Nathan reached it. Too aware of Zyra’s presence behind him, Nathan was sorting through his thoughts. He didn’t believe what Zyra was trying to tell him. He knew a lie when he heard it, but he also heard the regret and emotion in her voice.
She really did love him, or had at one point, and he wasn’t entirely certain his emotions for her were gone. If they were, wouldn’t he have forgotten about her after three thousand years?
They stepped into the garage. Nathan crossed to the remote control on the wall near the door and punched it.
The door closed.
Zyra glanced uneasily towards it but didn’t object.
He stood before her, and they waited until the grumble of the motorized door faded.
Gazing up at him, Zyra tugged his head down to hers. She kissed him. A familiar surge of lust flew through him, and he returned the kiss, hard and deep. Her hands skimmed down his body they way they had years before, and he backed her into the car then lifted her. Her long legs wrapped around him. Nathan leaned against her and the car, kissing her hungrily.
“Nathan,” she whispered, breaking the kiss.
He trailed kisses down her neck. She sucked on his earlobe then ran her hands through his hair.
She seemed more than interested in renewing their physical relationship, but he found himself hesitating. She tasted and smelled the way he remembered. The reminder had the opposite effect than he expected. While turned on, he was also aware that something was missing. He didn’t know how to voice what it was or why it bothered him. There was a time when he prayed for one more day to run his fingers through her hair the way he did now, for one more kiss.
And then he’d moved on, even if he never again trusted his heart to another.
Until Kaylee.
“What’s wrong?” she asked huskily, shifting against him.
Unable to pinpoint what felt off, he’d stopped kissing her. Nathan drew a breath and lifted his head from the nape of her neck. With some effort, he reined in his lust and released her, stepping back.
Zyra straightened her clothing, her look slightly dazed. There were full days when they’d both worn that expression.
“Why are you here?” he asked.
Zyra studied him for a moment. “Believe it or not, I think about you all the time, Nathan. I’m sorry I hurt you.”
“What’s done is done,” he said calmly.
She sighed.
“Don’t tell me you’re here to see me after three thousand years,” he warned. “You can’t do that cute little ass wiggle and expect me to forgive you.”
“It used to make you smile, no matter how upset you were,” she said. “You sure it won’t work?”
“Positive.”
“I did want to see you,” she started. “But yes, you’re right. There’s another reason I’m here.”
“To find Shadowman’s anchor.”
“Yes.”
“The anchor isn’t here.”
“I know that.” Zyra’s gaze trailed down his body and returned to his eyes. “There are a few of us like-minded guides who believe a more aggressive strategy needs to be taken against those who threaten incarnated angels and humans. The guide corps as a whole is too reactionary. Why do damage control when we can pre-empt problems in the first place?”
“I don’t disagree. But I don’t believe killing is the way to do it,” he returned. “Taking out an office building full of innocent humans? That’s how you’re going to run things?”
“We took precautions. But we’re talking about one human, whose death happens to be all that will stop Shadowman from opening the portal to Hell! Is stopping him worth an office building full of people? Yes. We know that we only killed one guy who wasn’t fast enough to get out. Shadowman killed the rest.”
“And when one guy turns into two? Two hundred? Two million?”
“That won’t happen, Nathan. There has never been a fallen guardian before. There may never be another one.”
“If you believed that, you wouldn’t have felt the need to form a more proactive group,” he pointed out. “The anchor is an excuse for you to push an agenda.”
Zyra gazed at him and then frowned. “From what I’ve heard, you never back down from something like this. And trust me, Nathan, I know what skeletons are in your closet. You’ve killed in the line of duty more than a few times.”
“With discretion. I’ve opted not to kill many other times as well,” he snapped. “This is one of those times.”
“How is this anchor more worthy of living than the twelve year old in Mexico you killed a hundred years ago? The elderly man twenty years ago? I have a file this thick about you.” She held up her forefinger and thumb two inches a part.
“I do what I need to.”
“That’s it? This is me asking for your help.” She approached him, taking his face in her hands. “There’s one life, Nathan, standing between us and keeping the door to Hell closed. You’ve taken hundreds, thousands, of lives of that didn’t pose a fraction of a threat that this one does.”
It was the same rationale he’d thought when Maggy first told him about the situation. A few days earlier, he might’ve hesitated but not spared Kaylee’s life. Then he met her, slept with her, learned she was meant to be his.
“I know,” he said finally. “But there’s got to be another way.”
Zyra searched his face in disbelief. “You won’t reconsider? Even if we disagree about this case, are you refusing my cause altogether?”
“Yeah, I am,” he replied in the same hushed tone.
“Nathan, how do you think a problem like this should be handled?” She dropped her hands.
“It’s not a problem, Zyra, it’s a life.”
“Which is why I’ll make it swift, painless and with the greater good in mind over the life of one person!”
“I think you’re on the wrong track. I believe you mean well, but this isn’t the right way,” he said. “I know I’ve killed, but only when there was no other choice. You want to take lives without exploring alternatives, because it’s easier to do. It’s a slippery slope.”
“You are nothing like the man I remember,” she said.
Irritation crept through him, more so because he wasn’t certain his decision was for the greater good. He never hesitated, yet for the first time in his career, he didn’t know what the right thing to do was. He was emotionally compromised and trying hard to put distance between himself, Kaylee and the situation with Shadowman.
“Whoever is anchoring Shadowman to this world has to die. Do you know how many people were killed yesterday?” Zyra continued. “He’s already threatened one of the key holders.”
“Key holders?” Nathan echoed. “You mean Amira.”
Zyra’s gaze sharpened. “So … either they didn’t tell you or they don’t know. Amira is one of three people who hold the keys to the gateway. Shadowman needs all three of them and all three of the keys they hold. Amira can find the others, which is why …” She stopped herself, as if she’d revealed too much already
Nathan was silent. Did Maggy know? He was certain Pedro did, and now, he understood why 3G was after Amira. But what exactly did the woman before him want with the key holders like Amira?
“Nathan, he needs to die,” Zyra continued. “Even if you fight me on every other thing I stand for, you can’t deny that the only way to get rid of Shadowman is to kill his anchor.”
She was right. He knew it. Kaylee had to die, even if only temporarily.
He couldn’t entrust that mission to Zyra, though. Maybe not even to Maggy, who might be too tempted just to walk away once Kaylee was dead. It was so easy to take a life and so much harder to try to get it back once it was gone.
Nathan’s eyes lingered on Zyra’s lips. Life had a way of getting super complicated, super fast.
“On another topic, why did you wait three thousand years to talk to me?” he asked. “You could’ve asked me anything that’s in the file, but I’m assuming you collected the information clandestinely.”
Zyra’s staunch insistence wavered.
“What? Suddenly got nothing to say?” Nathan crossed his arms. “Were you counting on me falling head over heels for you again and just doing whatever you asked?”
“No,” she replied. “I hoped to have the upper hand by surprising you, but nothing I know about you or in your file says weak.” She sighed. “Nathan, it’s complicated.”
He laughed.
“You weren’t … the first I pulled into the guide corps by seducing you. But you were the only one I loved,” she admitted. “I think that scared me, especially when Pedro wouldn’t let me retire.”
“You freaked out and ran.”
“I thought I was protecting you. I didn’t think you’d take their offer when I left you.”
“I had nothing when you left. Nowhere to go. I didn’t even want to live.”
Her face grew pink. “I know. I felt the same. I didn’t know you had joined for many years and then, I assumed you’d want nothing to do with me.”
Her words struck him hard. She appeared to be truthful, and he could imagine what she went through. It was the same line of thought he had about wanting to protect Kaylee. If he walked away, didn’t he save her from the pain of being dragged further into his world?
It hadn’t worked that way for Zyra.
“So I didn’t try to find you,” she finished. “You can hate me for it, but I never meant to hurt you. And, if you have a free evening, we can sit and talk. Politics aside.”
“I don’t think that’ll happen,” he said quietly.
Emotion flashed in her eyes before the stoic mask returned. “It was worth a try, right?” she asked. By the faint tremor in her voice, she’d truly hoped he said yes.
How could he? Did he want to? He didn’t know. Usually, when he was emotionally distressed he walked away.
Nathan leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. He lingered then stepped back and went to the stairs leading into the house. He clicked the remote to open the garage door.
“Nathan, if you won’t kill the anchor, I will. I didn’t want to have to issue an ultimatum. I wanted us to work together.”
He was quiet for a moment. While he was the only who could get near Kaylee, Zyra’s people could kill Kaylee from afar. A bullet to the head, an explosion.
Kaylee didn’t have a chance, if he didn’t do what Zyra wanted.
“Give me two days, Zyra,” he said. “I’ll kill the anchor. If I don’t, I’ll back off and let you handle it.”
“You’re serious?” she asked, a small smile crossing her face. “Nathan, together we can –”
“There is no we. I don’t agree with what you’re doing, but I know that Shadowman can’t be allowed to hurt others. Think about what you’re doing, Zyra,” he urged. “You’re right this time, because the situation is very black-and-white. But what happens when it’s not, and you take the wrong life?”
“Come with me. You could decide what to do in the grey areas,” she replied quickly. “You and I could run 3G together. We were always a good team.”
God, it’s so tempting! The only woman he ever loved, combined with the power to do what Pedro wouldn’t allow him to now, all to make the world a better place.
If not for Kaylee appearing, he’d walk out of the garage with Zyra, no questions asked.
He turned away. “See you around, Zyra,” he called over his shoulder.
“Two days!” she reminded him.
He walked into the house and closed the door behind him.
“So,” Maggy said. She stood a few feet away, arms crossed and features grim. “How’d it go?”
“Anticlimactic,” he quipped. “I need a cigar and a drink. Then we’ll talk about why you didn’t tell me there are three people like Amira with keys to the gateway, and I’ll tell you how we’re going to handle Kaylee.”