Jessi broke away from her excited cousins for a breather. She exited the main house where the White God’s family lived and looked around, uncertain where to go. The indirect light of the late afternoon sun was hot without being overbearing, like it would be in a few months. She shielded her eyes and went to a paddock connected to a small barn.
The collection of animals included a donkey, horse, ostrich and a llama, all of which were either relaxing in the shade or inside the barn. Jessi leaned against the fence. A grumpy meow drew her gaze to Xander’s cat, who rubbed its face against her leg.
“You seem to be doing okay here,” she said. It sat at her feet and stared at the llama approaching the fence.
Like the vamp-cat, Jessi’s cousins had gone from panicked at being kidnapped in the middle of the night to content on the compound. She had hoped it solved all her issues.
Jonny’s texts, however, told her otherwise. He was insistent on meeting with her as planned. Or else he’d send in someone who could move under the senses of the Guardians.
Others. Creatures Darian said really were able to appear here.
She re-read the last note from Jonny.
You come, with or without the gem. Your life in exchange for your cousins.
There wasn’t a choice to make; she’d do anything for them. She put her phone away. Unable to focus on anything, Jessi found herself almost too drained to remember the name of the Guardian who approached her.
Oracle, she reminded herself.
“I brought you some tea,” Sofi said, handing her a mug.
“Thanks,” Jessi murmured. She accepted it and sniffed. Peppermint.
“You hanging in there?”
“I’m not really sure.”
Sofi smiled, blue-silver eyes going to the llama that stuck its face between the wooden planks of the fence.
Jessi studied her, nervous around the woman who read her entire life the last time they interacted.
“How is your um, self-defense training going?” she asked.
“Awful,” Sofi said. “I don’t do violence.”
“Really? You’re married to someone who kills vampires for a living.”
“The White God doesn’t define who I am,” Sofi said firmly. “I remind him of that regularly.”
Jessi smiled, enjoying Sofi’s spunk despite her creepy fortunetelling abilities.
“I imagine it’s the same with Xander,” Sofi added.
“Ugh,” Jessi replied with a grimace. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You’re here. You’re not leaving the Guardians. You might as well talk about it.”
Jessi sighed and leaned her chin on the railing. There were no two thoughts in agreement about anything regarding Xander.
“Or don’t. Whatever,” Sofi said, amused.
“What’s with the bad blood between you two?”
“He’s got bad blood with everyone. In any case, I kicked his ass, and he never forgave me.”
Jessi laughed, looking over the tiny blonde woman. Petite with cool beauty, Sofi appeared delicate, until she spoke. She seemed proud of herself for outmaneuvering Xander, a sentiment Jessi readily understood.
“Not sure he knows what to do with me, either,” Jessi admitted.
“I don’t care what that man wants,” Sofi returned. “What do you want?”
“I’ll settle for all of us making it through the weekend,” Jessi joked.
Sofi eyed her. “Guilty conscience?”
“What? No. Maybe.” Jessi fingered the gem around her neck, troubled. “Okay, so yes, a little. But I don’t know why.”
“I understand how difficult it is to fall for someone so outside the norm, you feel like you’re going crazy. You can’t fully make that decision, until you’re willing to accept that all this” Sofi waved her hand around the compound “is your new place in life and that for some reason, you belong with a freak of nature of a man.”
“Is this supposed to be a pep talk?”
“Sort of.” Sofi smiled wryly. “It’s hard for me, because I like you, and I don’t like Xander. The selfish side of me wants to tell you to get away from him, because I want him to suffer.”
Jessi met the Oracle’s gaze curiously.
“The rational side of me realizes it’s more important I win the bet I have with him than see him suffer.”
“Omigod,” Jessi chuckled. “You’re a riot, Sofi. Is he that bad?”
Sofi hesitated. “Yes and no. Our disagreement is mainly personal. He wanted to kill me, and I blackmailed him into saving me instead. He’s capable of great violence, but he doesn’t act indiscriminately. If he wanted, he could’ve ruled the earth by now. It’s not his thing, though, so he’s basically taken on the role of a reluctant protector. He helps keep the Gods and the other immortals – known as Others and Watchers – in check, but I don’t think he likes it.”
“Why?”
“It’s one of the many reasons I don’t trust him. I don’t know.” Sofi shrugged. “His future is hazy, hard for me to See. I Saw that you would appear, but it was more of a feeling than a vision. I couldn’t see your face or what happens.”
She fell quiet. Jessi was pensive.
“I feel like I’ve really screwed up,” she said. “The kids, Jonny, Xander. I can’t fix it.”
“Sometimes the test you think life is handing you isn’t exactly what it seems,” Sofi said. “I don’t know for certain. I can’t always See with clarity, especially when Xander is involved.”
“His vamp vibes interfere with your crystal ball?”
“Something like that.”
Jessi sipped her tea. Sweet, minty and warm, it was comforting at a time when she felt rattled. Jonny had texted her twice already today, asking if she planned on meeting him tomorrow. She hadn’t responded. Her first instinct was to tell him to go to hell, now that her cousins were safe.
It didn’t seem smart to provoke the Black God or the Others, who were working together to get the necklace. She was debating whether there was a polite way to tell him she was done with his game and how likely he was to stalk her and the cousins, until he got what he wanted.
After all, the power to control a world was at stake. She had nothing to offer him to curb whatever ambition he had. They’d have to hide forever and hope he never had the chance to snatch her cousins.
“Did the cousins tell you they were tested?” The White God’s voice made her turn.
He greeted his small wife with a kiss on top of her head and wrapped his arms around her. She rested back against him, smiling.
“Tested for what?” Jessi asked.
“Every Natural has a talent. Your cousins are Naturals, too,” Damian explained. “We test them to see what the talent is and where to assign them.”
“They aren’t leaving me!”
“No, no,” Sofi said. “We’re not taking them away. They can go where they want.” She looked up at her husband pointedly.
“Yes, kiri. We are the kinder, gentler Guardians of humanity,” he said, grunting. “Guardians normally are assigned where we need them. I’ve discovered that the latest batch of Naturals prefer not to be told what to do.”
“So you can stay together as long as you want,” Sofi said. “Based on their talents, they’ll have options to work with the Guardians, depending on what their skills are.”
“After college,” Jessi said. “What are their talents?”
“Ashley can Travel between places. She’s also got a knack for weapons. I think she’ll end up as a Warrior,” Damian answered.
“The girl who cries when she chips a nail is going to fight vampires?”
“That’ll change,” Damian said, smiling. “Brandon was hard for us to determine. I think he’s got your gift of stealth. It’ll make him an invaluable asset. We can teach him to fight and send him in to spy, since our enemies won’t be able to sense him or access his mind.”
Sofi elbowed him.
“But only if you agree,” Damian added.
“I wanted them to become like, accountants or doctors or something,” Jessi admitted.
“Our cause is much better, and the benefits are guaranteed for life.”
Jessi said nothing for a long moment. “It’s up to them. Brandon is eighteen, and Ashley will be soon. They’re old enough to decide. I guess.” If she didn’t make it through the weekend, they’d need to make their own choices anyway. “What about me? I’m a little too old to teach to fight.”
“That’s up to Xander.”
“Up to Xander?” she demanded, planting her hands on her hips. “No part of my life is up to him!”
“You tell him, Jessi,” Sofi said with a smile. “Maybe this kind of revenge really is better.”
“The bad thing about being mated to an Oracle – you never know what she’s plotting.” Damian’s look at the woman in his arms was wary this time.
Jessi hid a smile. The couple before her had found a way to make it work despite their differences. She wasn’t so certain she and Xander had a chance, though, especially with Jonny waiting to pounce.
Did she want a chance with him? Grappling with the answer was almost as troubling as dealing with Jonny. Xander was probably done with her anyway, after getting what he wanted.
“I want to take you somewhere,” Damian said.
She looked up at him once more then at Sofi, who was frowning.
“It won’t be pretty, but you need to understand.”
Dread was at the base of her stomach. Damian released his wife. She stood on her tiptoes to kiss him lightly then turned to Jessi and took the mug.
Damian extended a hand to Jessi. With a sigh, Jessi gripped his and braced herself. The Traveling was quick and transported them from the quiet, dry heat of Texas to the heavy, warm ocean air. She opened her eyes and looked around, not recognizing the decrepit factory. She heard what sounded like mini-explosions and fighting. Purple light arced through the broken glass windows, high above.
“Where are we?” she asked uneasily.
“I want you to see Xander in action,” Damian said. “You can’t be a part of his world, unless you understand what he is.”
“You want me not to be with him,” she assessed.
“I want you to make an informed decision. There is no part of me that believes any Natural should be at the mercy of a Vamp.”
Jessi’s heart quickened. Her chest was tight and her breathing quick.
“I also want you to see the Others. They’re the ones who want the necklace you’re wearing. My brother is the only one on the planet who isn’t instantly fried by their magic, which means you’ve got a bigger decision to make. You stay with Xander, you’re both in danger. You stay with us, you’ve got a chance.” Damian was wary and tense, the energy radiating off him charged.
She swallowed hard.
He moved away, towards an open door leading into the building. Jessi hurried after him, not wanting to be alone in the scary place. She blinked rapidly to clear her vision as she entered the dark building. Damian was a few feet ahead of her, walking through a second door. When her eyes had adjusted, she followed.
The scene in the next room – an open cavity filled with rusted equipment – baffled her. Men her size hurled strange purple lightening towards Darian. With astonishing agility, the Grey God outmaneuvered lightening, weaving through the bursts of purple fire in a lethal dance. The Other he charged disappeared before he reached him, only to reappear on the other side of the factory floor.
Where Xander snatched the creature by its neck. He lifted it over his shoulders and snapped its body over his knee then flung the man-like creature aside.
Jessi gasped at the effortless display of power. Eyes glued to Xander, she lost track of him in the shadows and returned her attention to Darian, who was tangling with three more Others. He laughed as one zapped him, sending him smashing into one wall. Xander was there, his movement undetectable, unless he wanted to be seen. He yanked the Grey God to his feet, pausing for a moment. Darian’s wounded shoulder healed instantly at Xander’s touch. The vampire slapped the grinning God on the back of the head and shoved him back into the fray.
Darian blocked lightening aimed at the vampire, who disappeared once more into the shadows. The next time he emerged, it was to catch the body of an Other that Darian flung over his head.
Xander tore out the throat of this one with his fangs, drinking deeply before tossing the body. The next he tore off the head. The fourth, he slammed into the wall with enough force that the creature’s head cracked.
Jessi held her hands over her mouth, unaccustomed to such violence. By Darian’s occasional laugh and the hungry fire in Xander’s features, they enjoyed killing. She turned away, sickened by the sight of blood. Damian touched her arm, and they were suddenly somewhere else.
Back at the quiet Texas compound, where the early evening and open space made her feel a little less trapped by her situation. Her ears were buzzing, and she fought the urge to throw up.
“Get my point?” Damian asked, not unkindly.
She nodded, sucking in deep breaths.
“He’s a menace.”
“He helped your brother,” she pointed out. “He’s killing your enemies.”
“You still defending him?”
“No, I …” She sought the words. “What do you want, Damian? For me to be even more terrified than I already am? Not to get involved with him? Or to get involved with him, because he can do such things?”
Damian studied her.
“It doesn’t matter, because he’s done with me,” she added. She pointed to the necklace. “This is him fucking with me. It’s like a dare. He got what he wanted and is waiting for me to fail his test to take this back.”
“You understand him better than I thought.” Damian was amused.
Jessi was silent, even more frustrated. Damian thought there was no good to Xander at all, while Sofi grudgingly admitted there might be something more to him. Jessi knew there was, and it bothered her not to understand what exactly that meant for her.
“I’ll leave you alone for a bit. I’m going for pizza. I’ll call you when it’s ready.”
She definitely couldn’t eat after watching Xander tear apart human-like bodies as if they were paper. Jessi returned to the paddock to watch the animals.
A chill descended over the desert compound as the sun set. The glowing red eyes of the vamp-cat drew her attention. It settled at her feet.
“Furry little vampire,” she murmured. “That wasn’t wine I was giving you, was it?”
“Vampires drink coffee and blood. I eat raw meat, too, but that’s more a matter of preference.”
She tensed at Xander’s amused growl. “Done killing people?”
“For now.”
Jessi met his gaze. Xander stood a few feet away, tense, but not in the way that scared her. He wasn’t coming closer. She didn’t know if she wanted him to. Was she really a one night stand and science experiment he enjoyed toying with, like she told Damian?
What if she wasn’t?
“Were you with Damian when he decided to check up on us?” he asked, a note of caution emerging.
Jessi didn’t answer. Xander took a step closer.
“Boundary,” she whispered.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
“Yes, I was.”
He moved to the fence of the paddock and rested his forearms against the top plank. Jessi relaxed some, leaning against the pole at her side. The scent of oak and amber and his calming presence eased some of her tension while filling her lower belly with fire. The memory of his hands on her body, and his mouth branding her skin, made her ache to feel his touch again. Uncertain how to interpret his quietness, she tried to figure out what to say.
“I don’t know what to think, Xander,” she said. “I don’t know what Damian’s purpose was in showing me … that.”
“If I ever intended to hurt you, I would’ve by now.”
“I know that. I think. It doesn’t mean what I saw you do, what I know you can do, is easy for me to accept.”
“Then don’t.” He was bristling. “You intend to betray me anyway.”
“Yeah. I guess,” she said. “I am sorry about your condo.”
“I’ll get another.”
“Toilet paper,” she muttered.
“Got plans for tonight?”
“You don’t do reruns,” she said mockingly.
“I’ll make an exception.”
“Whatever.”
“Coward,” he said, chuckling.
Jessi’s heart was flipping in her chest, and she was finding it hard to breathe at the thought of a second night with him. It wasn’t all desire; some of it was terror. Not only had he given her the power over the world, but he’d decided he wanted to sleep with her twice. The first woman in his history.
He wasn’t joking about keeping her. Or killing those who betrayed him. Where exactly did that leave her?
“Maybe I’ve got a hot date with a Guardian,” she said in the terse silence between them.
The moment Xander’s gaze settled on her, she knew she pushed a button she shouldn’t have. The vampire moved towards her.
“That was a joke,” she said and retreated.
Jessi’s back bumped the railing. Her face was hot, her heart flying. She didn’t know if she was afraid of him – or beyond turned on.
“You don’t want me, Xander. Not only am I a rerun, but I’ll betray you.”
“That ship is sinking fast, isn’t it?”
“Boundary!”
“No more boundaries.” He stopped with inches to spare. “What else you got?”
“Two kids,” she retorted desperately. Jessi was embarrassed to feel she was near tears again, as she had been the night before. It wasn’t fear, she realized, but reality. Whatever was between her and Xander, it wasn’t something she was going to be able to walk away from.
Xander laughed. “Not a deterrent.”
“That’s all I got,” she said, distraught.
“I made my decision. I want you, Jessi.”
Her words stuck in her throat at his declaration. For a minute, she was too flustered to speak. Finally, she managed a hoarse whisper.
“You won’t just take pity on me and wait to see if we survive the weekend?”
“I don’t do mercy,” he reminded her.
“Even for me?”
“Especially not for you.”
“That’s not cool.” Jessi breathed in his scent, wanting to feel the safety of his arms once more but torn by her situation. He made his choice. He wanted more than one night with her.
He was making her life hell. She was already too far involved with him, and she couldn’t help wanting so much more.
Hesitantly, she placed a hand on his chest, able to feel his body heat through the thin material of his t-shirt. Xander didn’t move, waiting for her to make a decision she had no control over, not with her body and emotions already firmly on his side.
Jessi leaned against him, resting her cheek against his chest. Xander’s arms circled her. She sighed, tormented and comforted by his presence. His strength and warmth pierced her body, somehow easing the gravity of her world.
He tipped her chin up. “Easy, right?”
“No,” she whispered. “Hardest thing I’ve ever done.”
“I was beginning to think I’d have to find dinner elsewhere.”
“I swear, Xander!” she snapped, craning her head back to glare at him.
“There’s the fire,” he said, smiling. “You’re gonna need it tonight.”
Her body flushed hot. Jessi gazed at him, realizing she’d made a choice, whether or not she was ready for the consequences. He kissed her hungrily. She wrapped her arms around his neck and responded with need fed by emotion. Xander slowed the pace as he had the night before, teaching her to savor the sensation of his lips, his flavor and the way his large hands moved over her body, gently guiding her where he wanted her to go.
With some surprise, she realized they’d Traveled somewhere. He lifted her and placed her on a firm bed. Unable to see anything in the dark place, she almost panicked when the warmth of his body left her.
“Xander?”
“Right here,” he said with gruffness. “Can’t fuck you with clothes on, can I?”
His bluntness struck her as funny. Jessi began laughing, once again not at all certain what she agreed to – or why.
Or what would happen tomorrow, when she left to meet Jonny.
Her laughter turned quickly to despair. Before she was able to stop herself, she was crying. Xander slid into the bed next to her and gathered her in his arms. The heat of his bare chest beneath her hands and the hardness of his arousal against her belly made need roar to life within her. Unable to control her spinning emotions, she clung to him. Xander fluttered kisses over her face, as gentle with her as he was brutal with the Others she watched him kill.
The contradiction confused her.
His lips brushed hers lightly. Suddenly, her emotion found an outlet. Sorrow, desire, fear, desperation – all spun and solidified into an ache unlike anything she’d ever experienced. Xander was right; she was drowning, and he was all that kept her from going under.
“I’m in trouble, Xander.”
“No shit.”
Another laugh bubbled.
“You made the hardest choice,” he added softly. “The rest we’ll handle together.”
His words floored her. Jessi wasn’t certain she heard him correctly. His thumbs pushed her tears away. She drew a few shaky breaths to calm herself and then touched his face.
“So I’m not toilet paper?” she asked, waiting for the crude Xander to respond.
“No.” His hands traveled up her shirt. “Jessi, I need to be inside you. It’s the only way I can feel you.”
“What do you mean?” she whispered, enthralled by the sensations he stirred. His tongue flickered out to her neck, and she instinctively tilted her head, knowing what he wanted.
“I can feel what you feel. It’s a fucking turn on.”
How was he the only part of her world that felt right? He kissed her deeply again, and suddenly, she didn’t care about anything outside of the two of them.