‘We’re not feeling edgy; the system is feeling nervous.’
Red Army Faktion
Taking Jamie was far less of a hassle than going with his brother. Rob can be unpredictable and I didn’t know how he would react but I had to see Theo and wanted Rob to meet him, too. We went to the funfair first, while I decided how I should handle it. He spent most of the time in the shooting arcades. I left him and went to ride the carousel. He won a load of stuff: teddy bears and fluffy toys that I took down to Oxfam. I had a few goes just to show him that I could. He said I’ve got what it takes. I’m guessing that was a compliment.
He was OK with sitting round the fire drinking beer and cider but I could tell that he didn’t like Theo. Too much of an intellectual. Some of the others are anarcho-primitivists, Earth liberationists. It was pretty clear what Rob thought about them and he wasn’t hiding it. The eco mob are supposed to be non-violent but I thought there was going to be a fight. I was thinking it was all going pear-shaped and I should get him out of there, when this American showed up. This was the guy that Theo wanted Rob to meet. He’d deserted from the US Army, come here from Canada on a forged passport. He had fled what he saw as an illegal war. I didn’t know how Rob would react to that.
They got talking and everyone else shut up. They are all anti-war – that’s a given – but none of them has actually been in a war zone, seen the things that these two have seen. The American guy has their full attention as he recounts the events that led up to his desertion.
‘I felt like every last drop of humanity was being squeezed out of me,’ he says at last. ‘Like I was turning into a killing machine. When they wanted to send me back for another term, I had to get out. I don’t even blame the Taliban. I couldn’t hate them any more, you know? Even when they were targeting our guys. All they’re doing is defending their country. I blame the people who sent us there. They are the criminals in this.’
Rob nods, like he agrees, then he starts to tell them some of his own stories. He can be very eloquent when he wants to be, with an eye for little details that can turn your stomach or bring the tears pricking to your eyes. He can’t seem to look away, and he makes sure that you don’t, either. That’s just how he is.
When their stories were exhausted, the beer finished, the fire dying back to ashy embers, the American just said goodnight and went off down the beach. I never knew his name because he didn’t say it and we didn’t see him again.
‘It takes bollocks to do what that bloke did,’ Rob said afterwards. ‘He’s sound, but that Theo is a prick and the rest of them are dicks. I don’t want them involved with this. And I don’t know what you’re doing with Jimbo, but you can call time on that, too. He ain’t got what it takes. I don’t want him anywhere near it. It’s just me and you.’
He’s right, of course. I’m thinking about that as I drive Jamie back. I know Rob’s right, but I just can’t find the words, the right way to do it.