Michael came inside the house, Maguire at his heels. "Merry Christmas," Meadow greeted him. "Coffee and Christmas buns are in the kitchen. Come on in."
Maguire needed no further invitation. He trotted ahead of Michael to lead the way. Sage sat at the pine table, her hair curling over her shoulders, still in her pajamas. He looked at the pattern more closely.
"Reindeer and snowmen?" he asked.
Sage sighed. "It's Meadow. She gives me flannel PJs with a variety of Christmas motifs on Christmas Eve. I have a dozen just like these. And then every year in the spring I donate a set to the church jumble sale. She doesn't seem to mind."
"Mind what, dear?" Meadow asked, coming from the doorway. "Get Michael some coffee. I heard he's been working hard and has been quite helpful to Officer Jets."
Sage stood up. Pouring a mug of coffee, she placed it in front of Michael, who sat at the table. Before he could ask, she brought a pitcher of cream and the sugar bowl. "Here you go," she said, sitting back down.
The table had been set with a variety of cloth napkins, all with a Christmas theme. Red and green, some purple—they'd been laundered and felt very soft to the touch. He slipped off a tree-shaped ring, placing the napkin on his lap.
"So it was Robyn who got arrested?” Sage took a sip of her coffee. Reaching to the center of the table, she lifted a platter full of cinnamon buns, decorated with red dots and green sprigs of holly, piped by Meadow early that morning. "Have a bun and then tell me everything."
Michael took one off the top. The buns smelled of cinnamon and vanilla. He placed it on a plate and then offered the plate to Sage, who smiled. By now Meadow joined them as Maguire bent over his bowl of breakfast kibble.
"News travels fast," Michael said. "I don't think I can tell you much more than you already know. Janis told me it was all confidential police business."
"But Robyn's in jail," answered Sage. "That news got out right away."
"We'll know more after the arraignment," he said before taking another bite of his bun.
Meadow looked thoughtful. "If you see Thorny, tell him I'll send over a plate of turkey with all the trimmings later today. They can have dinner together, even if it's in jail." She turned away from the table shaking her head.
Meadow's preoccupation with the dishes gave Sage a chance to lean closer to Michael. "You seem better this morning. Or are you just relieved that Christmas has finally arrived and that it's almost over?"
A day or two ago he might have brushed off her words by changing the subject. But this time he felt differently, as if he could share what was truly on his mind. "Things turned out better this year," he admitted. "I kept busy by helping people out. Maguire adopted me and made me feel loved. And you did too, you have a way of not intruding into my feelings but being unafraid of offering your support."
Sage smiled at him and leaned back in her chair. "So do you want to tell us what's going on with you? We're here you know, Meadow and me."
Meadow turned around from the sink, as if she'd been listening and knew her cue. Michael cleared his throat. "So before I moved to Lily Rock, I was married and…"
He felt his heart tighten. Say his name. Just get it out there. These are your friends. "And I had a son. His name was Daniel."
Now Meadow's eyes grew wide and then soft. Sage nodded, most likely anticipating what was coming next. "Daniel died five years ago. He had cancer. We tried everything but we couldn't save him. And then my wife, she needed space to grieve. I just bottled up my feelings and got back to work. Pretty soon we couldn't even see each other without fighting, because we only reminded each other of what we lost."
He rubbed his sleeve across his eyes. "So Christmas is the one time I can't ignore my feelings about Daniel. Plus just to make it even more difficult, his birthday is on December twenty-fifth. This is the one day when I remember who he was, how much I loved him. Daniel loved Christmas more than any other time of the year. That's why I'm moody and distant and not that much fun to be around."
Meadow spoke up first. "After what you've been through—losing a child and your marriage—I can't imagine what you've been feeling, especially at this time year. But so you know? Even moody Michael is good to have around."
Sage reached across the table, laying her hand on his. She nodded in agreement. "Plus you're so helpful when you're in a bad mood. Look at all the stuff you got done just this past week. Without you Janis may not have gotten Robyn to confess."
Aware of his heart's steady beat, he had to admit, No one is talking me out of my feelings. A surprising sense of peace came over him, then a welcome sense of letting go. "I appreciate how you don't think I'm unbearable." He grinned at Sage, then Meadow. "I also gotta say, I feel better telling you. Now I can think about Daniel and not keep him a secret. That's good." He looked down at his lap, then raised his eyes. "Very, very good," he repeated.
Reaching for another cinnamon roll, he asked, "Where's Avery and Logan? I thought they'd be up and scarfing down Christmas breakfast already."
"I called their parents," Meadow explained.
Sage chuckled. "Oh yeah, she did. Gave them a good talking to, like she would a kid with an overdue library book. Logan's mom came and picked them both up and took them back to Beverly Hills late last night."
"It was only appropriate," muttered Meadow. "Staying on location? Give me a break. What a sorry excuse for not being with loved ones."
Later that evening Michael stood in front of the fireplace at his cabin, staring into the bright flames. He looked at the mantel, filled with stones and pine cones that he'd picked up from his hikes. Walking across the room, he reached into the drawer of an old pine dresser. Photo frames skidded across the drawer. He picked out the red one right away.
With the elbow of his sleeve he polished the glass, staring at the photo of a boy sitting on Santa's lap, wearing a big grin, missing his two front teeth. He could hear Daniel call out, just as he had that day, "Hey, Dad. Santa says I'll get two new teeth for Christmas." The brightness of the voice had not faded in his memory, nor had his love for his son in that moment.
Michael took the photo, propping it on the mantel among the pine cones and rocks. Stepping back, he smiled at his son as his heart opened. He knew now that was not grief, that feeling in his chest. But the release of his love for Daniel flowing freely, something that he'd always feel.
There you go, kid. Back where you belong, in the center of my life where I can see you. In case you haven't figured it out, I'm living here now. I've found friends who are just like my family, but that doesn't mean I don't think of you every day. But I want you to know, I've stopped putting you away. Even if it hurts.
Welcome to Lily Rock, Daniel. I love you, son.