IT HAD BEEN a bad fight and everyone knew it. Maybe that was why the staff tiptoed around Bella for the rest of the week. No one could even look her in the eye without wincing, and the bruises weren’t improved by the angry scowl she wore. It got especially awkward when footage of the spectacular knockout made it onto YouTube. By the time it reached Kyle’s laptop, “Hot chick gets KO’d” had been viewed over 150,000 times.
It was hard when you lost, but it was especially hard when you knew it could have been easily prevented. Kyle felt bad for her. He felt bad for everyone. Tito, Orville and Wayne had worked hard with Bella. They’d all been expecting results. But one moment of distraction, one little slipup...
He dug his thumbs into his jaw and pressed his fingertips into his temples. This was his fault. He hadn’t adequately prepared Bella for this match. He’d done nothing but ignore or distract her since she’d arrived. That the loss didn’t count on her record hardly mattered. The video footage had made the highlight reels of many MMA websites. Bella had become a laughingstock.
Five days after the fight, the day before Thanksgiving, a call came for Bella.
“It’s your grandfather,” Liz said, her face a touch pale.
Bella stilled, and her lips compressed into a tight line. Kyle offered her his office, and she marched in, chin held high.
He didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but he ended up using a table just outside his office to fill out some insurance forms. At first, it seemed like Bella was having a normal conversation with a family member. But since it was entirely in Portuguese, he had no idea what she was saying. Then her voice rose, and her objections came out in harsh syllables. She looked up to see him watching her from the doorway.
Her shoulders were bunched up to her ears, and her face was pale. She held the receiver an inch away from her ear. The stream of abuse pouring from the phone was unmistakably scathing.
His hands flexed into fists. Kyle wanted to take the phone from her and yell at the old man to give her some slack.
Her voice grew rough, defeated. “Sim...sim...sim, Avô.” She glanced at him. “I have to...” Her lips compressed and she gently hung up the phone. She took a deep breath and hugged her elbows. “My grandfather heard about the match. He’s so mad at how bad the loss was that he’s threatened to disown me.”
Kyle suppressed the choice insults he had for Fulvio Fiore, but instead he said, “He’d be wrong to. Everyone has bad fights.”
She nodded but didn’t look convinced. “So what’s the word, Coach? You gonna fire me?”
“Fire you? Why?”
“Because I’m a loser. Because I’m obviously not qualified to teach anything after that match.” It was clear from the deadpan way she said it that she was parroting what Fulvio had told her. But the slight tremor in her voice told him she’d fully expected him to obey what he assumed were her grandfather’s wishes.
“If anyone’s at fault, it’s me.” He glanced out the door. People milled about, trying to catch lingering bits of their conversation. He marched to the door and slammed it shut. “Sit.”
She slid into a chair and slumped back, unable to meet his eye.
“Listen. I’m not going to fire you. That fight was an anomaly. You know anything can happen in the cage. If you need to blame someone, blame me. I didn’t give you what you needed. And you paid the price because I neglected your training. I failed you.”
And he had. Utterly. Admitting it and seeing that look of defeat in Bella’s dull green eyes brought it home. He’d let this happen. He’d let his personal feelings interfere with his work.
He planted his palms on the desk. “From here on in, I’m giving you 100 percent. You lost because I didn’t take you seriously. I didn’t give you the right tools or enough of my time. I promise I will now.”
She sank deeper into her chair. “I don’t even have a fight coming up.”
“That doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter. Your goal was to become a better fighter. I’ve been teaching you wrestling techniques all this time, and I ignored the fact that you’re not a wrestler. You were going to go for a takedown, weren’t you?”
She nodded.
Kyle thought as much. Replaying the fight in his head, he knew that the moment he’d opened his mouth, Bella had shifted because his voice had triggered her into taking a staggered stance. It was a Pavlovian response: the same thing had happened to Kyle whenever his father had pitched his voice in certain ways. They’d drilled that way, too, with Dad shouting instructions and Kyle going through the motions like a trained monkey.
“I’m sorry, Bella,” he said. “I promise you, this is not the end.”
Her weak smile didn’t reach her eyes. Skepticism haunted them instead.
Don’t you give up. Don’t you dare give up. Defeat is for people who are too lazy to try anymore....
His fingers clenched as his father’s voice rang in his ears.
He had no intention of giving up on her. Not by a long shot.
* * *
PAYETTE’S WAS CLOSED for the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. Bella spent that time exploring the local tourist attractions. She could have stayed home and trained, but after the Heimer fight, she wasn’t in the mood.
At Liz’s insistence, Bella had turkey dinner with Liz’s family. The Gonçalveses were a happy bunch who’d come to the States from Portugal more than four decades ago, and they were thrilled to speak with Bella in their native tongue. The following day, Liz took her Black Friday shopping. It seemed Liz was bent on cheering her up.
Bella wasn’t usually one to throw herself a pity party, but there was something more to the malaise that had invaded her. Maybe she was homesick. Or maybe she should’ve sat down and talked to Kyle about that kiss. If she’d brought it out into the open instead of letting her thoughts fester...
No, that couldn’t be what was bothering her. This was about her confidence. She had to accept the defeat and move on. She couldn’t let one mistake at an exhibition match define her career.
“Hey!” Liz waved a pair of socks in front of her face, tugging Bella from her thoughts. “Everything okay? You haven’t bought a single thing.”
Bella shrugged. “I don’t see anything I need.”
“This isn’t about need,” Liz said, laughing lightly. “It’s about crass consumerism. Contributing to the economy and providing jobs, something, something.” She gestured vaguely with her hands and grinned.
“If you’re going to return half this stuff next week, why even bother?”
“It’s tradition.” They elbowed their way through a crowd. “And it’s a good workout. Trust me, it’ll get your blood pumping.”
She was right about that. Eventually, Bella picked up a few T-shirts and a dress marked down almost 80 percent, but her patience hung by a thread by the time they were lined up at the cash register. There, she yelled at a guy who was pushing an old woman with his cart. She told him to knock it off. When he yelled at her to mind her own business, Liz joined her and soon, the whole lineup was shaming him until he abandoned his purchases and left the store.
“That was horrible,” Bella said as they piled into Liz’s car.
“But you had fun, right?”
“Actually...yes.” She laughed. It had taken her mind off her gloomy thoughts. And seeing how awful other people could be made her feel less bad about herself. She told Liz and laughed. “I must be crazy. And a terrible human being.”
“Black Friday and Boxing Day shopping are as close to competitive fighting as I’ll ever get,” Liz said, pulling out of the lot. “It’s the only time I’m not afraid of being punched in the face because I’ll probably punch right back.”
They went to The Spot for dinner and drinks. They were talking and laughing and enjoying the evening when Kyle walked through the door.
“He didn’t go home for Thanksgiving?” Bella asked, trying to hide her sudden breathlessness with her whispered question.
Liz sucked in her lip. “He hasn’t gone home for the holidays since his dad died.”
“His mom’s still around, though, right? And he has a sister.”
“I don’t like to talk about people behind their backs.” Her gaze shifted to her lap. Liz obviously knew more than she let on.
Bella supposed some families simply didn’t get along the way hers did—when they did at all, she thought wryly—but she didn’t think that was the case with Kyle. There was more to him than the playboy coach and former Olympic athlete he showed the world. She thought she got him: he had a tough Dad, high expectations of himself, commitment issues...but there was something else going on. He was holding back some part of himself.
She thought about the Bourne-Mortensen fight she’d watched when she’d first come to The Spot, and remembered how Mike Bourne had stayed out of reach. Kyle was kind of like him. In the fight, but keeping himself from engaging, staying at a safe distance, afraid to get personal or messy.
He scanned the room, slowly walking along the bar, presumably trawling for a lonely young lady to sit next to. The bar was sadly empty of college coeds, though. Bella felt a little sorry for him. “Hey, Coach!”
“What are you doing?” Liz whispered.
“You said you don’t like talking about people behind their backs. So let’s talk to his front.” She studied Liz’s rapid blinking and said, “I’m sorry. Did I do something wrong?”
“No. Nothing like that.” She put on a broad smile as Kyle approached. “Hey, boss.”
“Come and join us,” Bella invited, patting the seat next to her. “Or are you meeting friends?”
He slid into the booth. “Not tonight. I was...” He trailed off. “Looking for a good seat.”
Bella couldn’t help thinking about Kyle’s behavior in terms of a fight, now. Dodge. Feint. Keep your feet moving. Stay in motion. Don’t give anyone a chance to nail you.
“I got a call from Reta,” Kyle said, once the waitress took his drink order. “Shawnese’s doing a lot better. Her hands are going to take a while to heal, but she’s doing physical therapy. She’s staying with Reta for the holidays.” He filled Liz in briefly about their student from Touchstone.
“I don’t suppose she’s said anything about catching whoever did that to her?” Bella asked.
Maybe she’d given away too much because Kyle’s expression darkened. “No. According to Reta, Shawnese insists she fell into a pile of scrap metal.”
Of course, Bella understood what Shawnese was facing. Fear of retribution. Fear of being arrested. If she pressed charges, she’d be made to testify in court against her attacker, only to have her testimony put into question. Why should anyone believe a former prostitute and drug addict? It was probably as frustrating for Shawnese as it was for the cops, but what could she do? What could anyone do?
“Well, I’m glad someone’s taking care of her.” She made a note to call.
“I’m suddenly feeling beat,” Liz announced. “Kyle, would you mind driving Bella home?”
He nodded. “Sure. You feeling all right?”
“I think I overdid it today. Shopping’s hard work. Bella, if it’s okay, I’ll just bring your clothes in to work tomorrow.”
“Are you sure? I can go with you.” A ball of nerves rolled around in her gut. Was Liz plotting to leave her alone with Kyle? Surely the receptionist didn’t think they were an item. She hadn’t told her about the kiss ’n’ grope in the car.
The chemistry between her and Kyle wasn’t that obvious, was it?
“I’ll be fine,” Liz insisted. “You two enjoy.”
She left. Kyle and Bella sat alone in suddenly awkward silence. The screens showed a rerun of Dominic Payette’s most recent UFF fight, defending his belt for the fourth time since winning the championship title. Bella searched for something to say.
Kyle spoke up first. “Are you going home for Christmas?”
Bella set her teeth. Fulvio had made it clear he wouldn’t welcome her home unless she intended to stay. While she hated to miss the holidays with her family, she couldn’t let them drag her back to play the obedient daughter, nor would she sour the celebrations by ruffling feathers. Her temper was too much like Fulvio’s to keep the peace for long. “I plan to stay here,” she said. She didn’t want Kyle pitying her. “I’ve always wanted to see what a Christmas in the States is like.”
“You should go farther north where there’s snow. Funny, even though I grew up in California, I’ve always felt like there should be snow at Christmas. I blame TV.”
“I had enough snowy days while I was in college in Canada, thanks. I think it’ll be nice right here. The warm weather will make it feel like home.” Just not with any of the people who mattered to her the most.
“Will you be going to the UFF charity ball?”
Bella had almost forgotten about the event she and Ryan had been dress shopping for. She hadn’t been keen on going before, but realized Ryan had been right: she needed to network with more people in the industry, especially after her fiasco at the exhibition. She had to get out there and show the world she wasn’t beat. “I would if I could. But Ryan was the one with the invitation and the tickets.”
“Well, that’s no problem. You’ll come with me. I’ve got my invitation. You can be my plus one.”
“You mean, your date?”
His lips twitched. “Sure, if you want to call it that.” He took a long pull of his beer and fixed his attention on the screen.
A thrill raced through her, and she struggled not to smile too widely or even acknowledge the happiness wending through her. She shouldn’t think this meant anything more than a great opportunity to get her name out there and meet some MMA stars, but her mind was stuck firmly on the event now. And the dress she’d bought today would be perfect for the evening.
Oh, my God. I’m going on a date with Kyle Peters. The thought struck her between the eyes. As awkward as things were, she really liked Kyle. More than she should, really. He wasn’t worth the drama and the complications, she told herself. She’d seen him in action, seen him go home with innumerable women. If anything were to happen between them... Well, she wasn’t about to expect more than one night.
Kyle took her home after finishing his one beer. She’d insisted she could walk, but he refused to let her leave on her own. “I promised Liz I’d drive you home. She’d be pissed if I broke that promise.”
“And you’re scared of her?”
“She makes my coffee every morning. I have to keep her happy.”
The silence in the car wasn’t exactly uncomfortable, but she remained ultra-self-aware. She was reminded of the other time he’d driven her home. After the big rainstorm, when he’d come up and ordered takeout. Things had felt easier then somehow. There’d been no pressure, only tension. And he hadn’t seen the worst of her back then.
Then there was the night after that mind-blowing kiss.... She closed her eyes. This was stupid. Any other guy and she’d have him at heel all the way up to her bedroom with the snap of her fingers. But here she was, paralyzed by her own uncertainty.
He pulled up next to the curb and killed the engine. She didn’t move.
“What are you going to do now?” she asked, stalling. “It’s still early.”
“Probably go home, maybe read.”
“You want to come up for a drink?” It was a crazy offer, but she couldn’t handle this weirdness between them anymore. She felt as though she was straddling an ever-moving line, and she had to keep dancing to avoid landing too firmly on one side or the other. The problem was she hadn’t yet decided which side she should be on.
You’re in the fight or you’re not.
He stared at her. Her heart bumped, and she lowered her gaze to his lips.
“I shouldn’t,” he managed in an almost strangled voice.
“That’s not a no.”
She knew what she wanted. She wouldn’t be coy about it anymore. They’d danced around each other long enough.
A gust of wind made the convertible’s canopy ripple. He echoed his frustration with a blown-out breath. “We can’t.”
“Kyle—”
“I can’t do this, Bella. I’m your coach and your boss.”
Something inside her tweaked at the hard line he’d drawn. She sat up straighter. “I’ll be gone in four months. And we wouldn’t be the first people to step outside of an employer-employee or coach-trainee relationship.”
He ran his palms over his face. “Look, it’s not you. I think you’re great—”
“Well, don’t lay it on too thick, Coach.”
“—but I can’t put either of us in a compromising position. It wouldn’t be good for your career or mine.”
“What we do outside of work is no one’s business.” She softened her voice. “This tension between us isn’t nothing, Kyle. I’m not saying we should go and get married. All I want is a chance for us to make sure it’s just tension.”
His jaw jutted, the muscles in his cheekbones flexing as he stared out the windshield. She sensed the inner struggle radiating off him.
“Is this because of what happened with Karla?” she ventured. His whole body stiffened.
“That’s none of your business.”
She sighed. “Okay.” She popped her seat belt. “Look, Kyle. I’ll admit it. I like you a lot. Even though I probably shouldn’t. Even though it goes against my better judgment and everyone else’s advice. But at least I’m not afraid of my attraction to you. Can you say the same about me?”
He didn’t respond, which was all the answer she needed.
She got out of the car and slammed the door shut.