FRIDAY 24 FEBRUARY 1989

I got my hair cut, long layers around my face. Next time I might get tips like Kim. I’m still doing lunchtime aerobics & reading the newspaper every day. How can Dean resist me now? If he still doesn’t want me, and I take Mr Haigh’s advice about writing, one day maybe I’ll get back at Dean by using him as a character in one of my novels. My Buddy Willard (a character based on one of Sylvia Plath’s real-life boyfriends).

I finished ‘The Bell Jar’. Esther’s friend hanged herself. It ends with Esther going into a room for the interview that will decide whether or not she gets out of the asylum. I’m sad to have finished that book, empty, like I have lost a friend. I try not to think it was personal, that Esther was really Sylvia Plath, or I would cry. I’m crying anyway. I feel like there’s a bell jar over me some days too.

I started ‘The Great Gatsby’. It’s also semi-autobiographical. Do all writers use parts of their life in their work? Nick Carraway’s great uncle had a hardware business (a sign?). I like that Daisy’s face is ‘sad & lovely’. & how she murmurs softly to make people lean closer to her. I’m going to try that.

Petra rang to see if I could go to the Blue Light Disco with her tonight. Seriously. As if!