“NO, I’M FINE,” Carrie said, trying to ignore the well-intentioned nurse who’d decided to take Carrie under her wing and turn her into a happy woman. Got to be married, got to be in a relationship. That was all she’d heard from Georgia Hobbs since her first day on the job. This was day five now, and Georgia hadn’t given up. She had an available nephew. A son. And a next-door neighbor’s son. All of them just looking for someone.
“I appreciate your invitation, but I’ve got to study tomorrow evening, to get myself ready for my class.”
Besides, she didn’t feel like trying to be social with someone she didn’t know and didn’t seem to have anything in common with other than work. So, while Carrie was grateful for the invitation to dinner, she simply wasn’t interested in what was being offered. She didn’t date. Didn’t want to get back in the habit again. At least, not now. Not when there were more important things in her future.
Georgia blew out a frustrated breath. “Do you even know anybody here in Marrell?”
She knew Jack a little bit. In the few days she’d been here, they’d had a casual coffee once. And joined in with a group from the hospital who’d gone out for a beer after work. But that was all, and it was fine. It worked. They were friendly, but not friends. “I don’t really have time,” she said, trying to edge her way out of the entrance door and find a place to hide in the storage room, or anyplace else Georgia might not be so inclined to look for her.
“We’re going into winter pretty soon, and it can get depressing if you’re here all by yourself. No friends. No one to go out and grab a pizza with. You start feeling…shut in.”
She’d spent a lifetime feeling shut in, in one way or another. Why should this be any different? “I’m really not interested,” Carrie emphasized, then sidestepped away from the entry, hoping Georgia wouldn’t follow. But she did. And persisted.
“I was a stranger here once, Carrie. I know what it’s like being alone in a new place.”
“I’ve been on my own for a long time, Georgia.” That was why she took on independence with a vengeance. She didn’t want to depend on somebody else for her life. There was no stability in that and, above all, Carrie wanted stability. Or, at least, a little piece of it. “And while I appreciate your concern, there’s nothing to be concerned about. Like I said, I’m fine.”
“Well, in case you change your mind…” Georgia shook her head, not so much annoyed as perplexed. “Just let me know. Promise?”
“Promise,” Carrie said grudgingly, then turned and almost ran toward the supply closet, where she stepped inside, shut the door behind her, and leaned against the door. At least in Chicago no one had bothered her. No one had cared. No one had come after her, trying to fix her. As if being single was something to fix. She was fine as she was. Well suited for her life. Steeled against the pain and disappointment of getting too close, only to be rejected.
And, she wasn’t about to let Georgia, or anybody else, make her feel guilty for her choices, or force her into a change she didn’t want to make, so she could fit in better. Truth was, she’d never fit in anywhere, and now she didn’t care if she never did.
“You OK in there?” A familiar voice seeped through the door. “Saw you come in, thought you’d come right back out, but it’s been five minutes, and since there’s nothing worth spending five minutes on in the closet…”
“I’m fine,” she said, still not giving up her spot against the door.
“Need some help?”
“Nope, I’m good.”
“Got time for a cup of coffee?” he asked. “There’s something I want to discuss with you. Privately. In my office.”
“About the school?” She was not quite ready to accept his invitation, yet not quite ready to turn it down either. Because the idea of a little one-on-one with him did raise her heartbeat a notch or two, as it had previously during their few times together. But it was something she always wrote off as nervousness due to her new direction in her career path.
“Come out and I’ll tell you. It’s something I think you might enjoy. You and that dog of yours.”
“Bella. Her name’s Bella.” Carrie stepped away from the door, then opened it, but didn’t emerge into the hall. Rather, she stood in the doorway and looked up at him. She tried not to get herself caught up in how good he looked in his green scrubs, stethoscope slung casually around his neck. A couple of days’ growth of beard. Hair mussed. He was a handsome man by any definition of the word…and just because she didn’t date them it didn’t mean she couldn’t look, and enjoy.
Unfortunately, she got caught up too quickly, too easily. “Did you say coffee?” she asked, to diffuse the moment. Or the imaginary moment that was trying to pop into her mind. The one where she hadn’t stepped into the hall for him, but he’d stepped into the closet for her… Just let it go, she chided herself, forcing her eyes to the clock on the wall behind him. “Because I’ve got a break coming up and…”
“Yes, coffee,” he said, his expression perfectly impassive. Then followed immediately with, “What’s got you so spooked? You seem jumpy.”
She smiled. Not spooked as much as affected. He did that to her. He affected her. “People around want to…” She exaggerated a cringe. “Fix me up. You know, introduce me to brothers, nephews and cousins.”
A seductive eyebrow arched and a half smile crossed his lips. “And you don’t like that?”
“Don’t like it, don’t want it. Never have. Never will. It’s not my style.”
“What is your style, Carrie Kellem?” he asked, turning to head down the hall, presumably to his office.
Carrie followed, but kept her distance for fear that, if they walked shoulder to shoulder, one of the do-gooders would read something into it that wasn’t there. “I don’t really have a style. More like a philosophy. I was a late starter in life. Never really had a sense of who I was or where I belonged. And the result is, because I never fit in before, I don’t have an overpowering urge to fit in anywhere in the present or even the future. I’m good by myself. To get myself from where I was to where I am now, I had to be.”
“So, no husband in your future? Or kids, or the proverbial cottage with the white picket fence?”
“Not necessarily. I’m human. There are a lot of things I want for myself. But I’m also practical. If I don’t get them, I’m perfectly fine alone. It works either way.”
They stopped at a wooden door with a temporary cardboard sign tacked to it, reading “Dr. Jack Hanson, MD.”
“So, you don’t date?” he asked her.
“I do, sporadically, if someone is interesting enough. Haven’t for a couple of years, though. It was always such an…effort. And I’ve never cared enough for anyone to get involved in the sense that I wanted to belong to him.” She shrugged. “I’m not sure what it will take. Not even sure I want to find out.”
“Don’t you ever get lonely?”
“Don’t you?” she countered. “You’re not married, and I’m assuming you’re not involved.”
“Not involved,” he said quite simply.
“And you live alone?” The question might have been a leap, but she didn’t see Jack living with anybody. He was the epitome of the solitary man and it seemed he worked hard to keep himself isolated.
“Just me. No dogs, cats, or other critters. Prefer to keep my life…uncluttered.”
“I’m betting you don’t go out with friends too often either.”
“Hardly ever.”
“So, don’t you get lonely?” she asked. Passing through the door into his office, he placed his hand in the small of her back as she walked by him, then followed her in. She gritted her teeth against the inevitable shiver. She didn’t understand why he got to her that way, but he did. There was no denying that as she shivered and this time he noticed it.
“You OK?” he asked. “It starts getting chilly this time of year. Do you need a sweater or something? I could get you a surgical gown to put on over your clothes, if you want. It might warm you up a little.”
What she needed was more of him. More of the shivers he caused. More of the things she’d never allowed herself to want before—the pure carnal need for him. Of course, she was going to keep that to herself and try harder to keep her peculiar reactions to him to herself, as well. Especially since he’d all but told her he didn’t want involvement.
“I’m fine. Just acclimating myself to Montana weather, that’s all.” Yeah, right. More like acclimating herself to the touch of a man who triggered sparks.
A man she didn’t even know very well but suddenly had thoughts of in a way she’d never thought of another man. “But thanks for the offer.”
“Anyway, no, I’m not lonely,” he continued, forging ahead with their conversation. “I keep myself busy. Put in a lot of hours at the hospital. I’m adding some finishing touches to my cabin in my spare time. Helping my buddy Caleb around his place from time to time, since he’s still slightly incapacitated. It all adds up to a pretty full day.” He closed the office door behind him, then gestured her to the chair in front of his desk. “Oh, and right now I’m trekking up the mountain every day to take care of about a billion cats.”
“How is Priscilla, by the way?” Carried asked, wondering if Jack ever did anything for himself. Anything for fun. Even in her own isolation, she’d taken time for her few friends, gone to the gym, occasionally treated herself to a movie. But did he do anything other than what he had to do? It didn’t seem so.
“She’s doing better than ever. Moving home, against family wishes, the day after tomorrow.”
“Everybody has to do what they have to do,” Carrie said. “I know how it is. And, for what it’s worth, I respect your grandmother for living exactly the way she wants. Not many people have that choice. Too many things get in the way.”
“She does live the way she wants. But I worry.”
“Which means you’re a good grandson.” And she liked that, as she’d never seen much devotion in her life, and the devotion for his grandmother she saw in Jack was nice. It gave her hope that someday she might have someone to be that devoted to. Or someone might be that devoted to her. If a distant sort of character like Jack could have it… “Well, if you’d like me to spot you on the cat care, I could go up later today so you could do…whatever it is you do.”
“Thanks for the offer, but there’s a knack to it. As in dump the food into the bowls, then run like hell before you get fur-balled to death.” He chuckled over that.
Carrie laughed, too. Despite the appearance he tried to put on, Jack was a caring man. She wasn’t sure he knew how to show it. But it was there. She could see it. “Well, if there’s anything else I can do—make a few house calls, go to the store and pick up some cat food, go up to see Priscilla from time to time once she’s settled back in…”
“I’m good,” he said. “Unless you’re looking for something to fill your lonely spaces.”
“They’re not lonely spaces, Jack. I’ve never had anyone in my life for more than the blink of an eye, so when you don’t have it, you don’t know what it’s about. Consequently, I look at my life more in terms of empty spaces. Not lonely ones. I read, work out, go out with friends occasionally. It suits me.”
“Is that denial I’m hearing, or acquiescence?”
“Neither one. It’s practicality. Because above all I try to be practical about everything. Had to be that way to survive being tossed from place to place as I was, then eventually ending up on the streets. If you can’t be practical about it, you won’t make it, and it was always my intention to make it.” She smiled. “Anyway, enough about me. You said you wanted to talk to me about something?”
“I did.” He crossed over to the cabinet that held his coffee maker, then poured her a cup, offered her cream and sat down across from her. Very deliberately. Very precisely, almost like he measured every movement. Like a man who took control of each and every movement, voluntary as well as involuntary.
It was oddly fascinating, she thought. Almost a glimpse into something she hadn’t expected. Jack Hanson was a man who took great care to present himself properly. It mattered to him. He cared about his mark—his spot in time. That revelation didn’t cause goose bumps, but it did cause a curiosity over what had turned someone like him away from life in general.
“Well, as it turns out, I wanted to talk about your varied background,” he continued, bringing her back into the conversation. “Learn a little more about you other than what you said on your application and what you’ve told me. I’d like to learn more about the specifics of Carrie Kellem, since they may come into play in your training.”
“Seriously? Is that why you chose me for your program, because I didn’t have a traditional life? Because, somehow, you think that coming from the streets the way I did will make me tougher, or braver? Or hold me back from what I need to do?” She was offended, and didn’t try to hide it, as the notion that her varied background was the reason she’d gotten to where she was now didn’t wash. It didn’t give way to the fact that it wasn’t her background that made her tougher or braver, but her desire to put her background behind her.
“I don’t like that, Jack. I’ve worked hard to get away from it, and I don’t want it to be the main reason I’m here. It’s over. I don’t want where I was to be the reason or cause of getting anything. No favors, no special consideration. Nothing. So if I haven’t earned my spot rightfully, then I’m out of here, varied background or not.” She started to rise from her chair, but he stood up from the desk, leaned over it and laid a gentle hand on her shoulder.
“Your upbringing, or lack of it, isn’t why I chose you, Carrie. Your application stated you’d been homeless, but that didn’t matter to me. But I do think it’s at least, in part, the reason you have the qualifications I want. You know, a character-building thing. Because you’re a good medic, and I’ve seen that in person already. You’re enthusiastic to learn. And smart. Also, you don’t get beaten down. There’s a part of me that envies that because I’ve been in a rut for a very long time. I don’t always find the joy in my job that you find in yours. I still give it my best, but I don’t go at it anymore the way I see you go at it. You squeeze the essence out of every opportunity, while I simply let it dribble by.
“But would you have had those qualities if you hadn’t had to fight so hard for them? I don’t know. And it doesn’t matter. But don’t deny your background, Carrie. You can hate it, you can fight to overcome it, you can curse it every day of your life. But it’s part of who you are. And while I didn’t accept you into my program because of where you came from, I did accept you because I believe your struggles have made you an ideal candidate.” He shrugged. “So, no offense intended.”
“None taken,” she conceded. Because he was right. She’d spent a lifetime trying to overcome it, and had never really looked at the trash bins and alley doorways as an education of sorts. But it had been. Still, she didn’t have to like it. She would always try to keep it in her past. But now she saw it a little differently.
“I know I’m defensive or apologetic because of where I come from. I suppose it’s a habit that, when someone brings it up, I get defensive. Or overreact. But I’ve been the recipient of a lot of handouts in my life, and I don’t want that. I never had stability. Got tossed from foster home to foster home. Nobody wanted to keep me. I couldn’t get educated properly as I was in and out of so many schools they lost track of me. And I was out on the street, on my own, when I was sixteen. Picking up aluminum cans and turning them in for money. Doing any odd job someone had for me. Except the sexual ones. I never did that.
“But I lived in alleys, Jack. Slept under cardboard boxes or in doorways, rain, shine or snow. People would see me on the street and toss me bits of leftover food from restaurant containers. Food they were taking home to their dogs. And I was grateful for it because it hadn’t been in the bottom of the garbage for days, which was what I was used to. They’d also bring me charity clothes that didn’t fit, and blankets that should have been tossed away because they were so worn. Handouts—that’s all I had for a lot of years. So, when I jumped to the conclusion that my spot here was another handout…” She shrugged. “Didn’t mean to come off the way I did. Sorry.” She sat back down, managed a repentant smile. “So, again, why am I here?”
“I…I don’t know what to say.” His voice was unsteady, his eyes betraying shock and compassion.
“There’s nothing to say. That was then, this is now. And I’m fighting hard to stay in the now.”
“So how did you get from there to here?”
“Saved every penny I could from all the odd jobs I worked. Checked into a shelter where I was given three squares a day, shower facilities and a bed. Took a practical look at the things I could do, given my circumstances, then finished my schooling. Met an old cop who told me I ought to consider trying out for the academy, that it could change my life. I did when I was old enough, because I really wasn’t headed in any direction and that seemed as good as anything. He was right, too. I got accepted, and that opened the world to me. Taught me things I didn’t know. Showed me things I’d never seen. After a while, though, after I was a cop, I started asking myself if this was all there was.”
“And the answer was obviously no.”
“Which brought me here,” she said, smiling. “Lucky me and, hopefully, lucky you.”
Jack shook his head. “I didn’t know it was that rough, Carrie,” he said. “I can’t even respond because I can’t picture it. Can’t picture you in it.”
“You don’t have to,” she said. “Because I’m not in it anymore. I’m here. Starting a new chapter. Another step further away.”
“Well, maybe what I have in mind’s going to be even another step further.” He took a sip of his coffee and turned in his chair to gaze out the window. Seemed to get lost for a few seconds, then blinked himself back into the moment. “I have something in mind for you that won’t be easy. Provided you measure up in my program.”
“Ah, the story of my life. Another step, maybe a new dream born. So, what is it, Jack? What is this opportunity?”
“The wide-open spaces of Montana. No walls to confine you. No real rules to follow except to do the job the best way you can find. And living by your wits. You, more than anybody I’ve ever known, could do that. So, care to take a drive with me while I tell you more?”
* * *
It was a beautiful autumn day, the temperatures hadn’t started dipping too much yet, even though that would happen in the next couple of weeks, and the fresh air was beckoning him. Not to mention the restlessness pushing him to do something different. That was the only reason he was going out there right now, and if he tried hard enough, he might even convince himself of it. Because introducing Carrie to Saka’am could have waited, since she wasn’t even in training yet. And he could have asked one of the other part-time doctors or even nurses at Sinclair Hospital to do this. But it had been so long since he’d been there, and he needed to go back, even though he’d vowed, five years ago, he never would. Times changed, so did attitudes. So, while his hadn’t moved much toward that in the preceding years, even he couldn’t argue himself out of the notion that he had to do this. Had to start facing up to it. Or, at least, try.
But he didn’t want to go back alone because he did have to see to the medical needs. And if the memories of Evangeline and Alice brought him down to a point where he couldn’t function as he should, he’d have Carrie there to pick up the slack. That, plus the idea of assigning her to Saka’am eventually. “There’s a little community of Native Americans—the Confederated Salish and Kootenai tribes. They don’t live on the reservation, even though they’re connected to it. Mostly, they’re into lumbering, which usually happens sometime between the leaf drop and winter solstice, and right now they’re fully engaged in harvesting crops. So this is a busy time of year for them and it’s not always convenient for a lot of the people there to get over to the reservation to take care of basic medical needs.
“Years ago, when I wasn’t much more than a toddler, my mother and I started going out every few weeks to tend to their medical care. In the fall, it was always about immunizing the children then, of course, seeing to other medical needs. It’s that time now, and since Mom and Henry are semiretired, and Caleb and Leanne are away, it’s up to me to get it done. So, I thought that since I’ve got the time right now, I’d head on out there and get the process started, spend the night, finish up tomorrow, then come back home later in the day in time to pick up my shift tomorrow night.”
“Which has what to do with me?”
“I want you to go with me. I’ve checked your schedule, and it seems you’re scheduled off until tomorrow night. So, if you’re interested, we can leave within the next hour, which means we’ll get there midafternoon, work until dark, then begin again tomorrow morning, and finish up midafternoon.”
“Which would mean spending the night?” she asked.
“It’s too long a drive to come back tonight so, yes, spend the night. Somebody there will take us in.”
“You’re sure of that?”
“They always have before. They’re a very hospitable people. Friendly, generous…” Sometimes too much so.
“The workload?”
“Vaccinations. Physicals. General care, for the most part.”
“So, why me, Jack? I mean, I’m excited to do something different. I’ve never had the opportunity to work in a clinic-type setting, so I want to do this. But why are you asking me and not someone with more experience? I’m a paramedic and usually we don’t do general medical care.”
“But you’re capable, aren’t you?”
“Of course, I’m capable. But I’m also curious.”
“OK. Saka’am and the surrounding area is fairly well populated. The people are spread out so there’s no central core, and I need someone to cover that area on a more regular basis. Also to head up rescue operations in a large geographic area out there. I’ve made this plan to provide better and closer rescue and basic medical coverage in specific areas and, tentatively, I’ve matched you to Saka’am because it will be a challenge with the way it’s spread out. Also because I have ties there, and I want them to have my best, which I hope will be you.”
“I think I’m flattered,” she said.
“It’s always an uphill battle out here, Carrie. It’s a mix between dealing with the traditional Native American ways and what society expects or perceives. These people are just normal folks. They work, they go to school, to church…they dress like we do. Have the needs we do. But it’s a struggle for them to hold on to their traditions, and too many outsiders go into these situations expecting to change things…things that don’t need changing. Names. Lifestyle. It’s important to find someone who can deal with the intermingling of both worlds, and respect the fact that they might resort to a sweat lodge over modern medicine. Because I don’t see you as someone who would interfere with what is already established, that’s why I want you to cover the area.” Also, because he owed the people of Saka’am his best. Which wasn’t him. Not anymore. But it could be Carrie.
“I don’t know what to say,” she said. “No one’s ever had that kind of trust in me before.”
He wondered if she’d ever had that kind of trust in herself. “Well, it’s going to be a lot of responsibility because part of my plan is to give them better access to medical care than they’ve ever had. But you’ll still have to take orders from me. And you cannot, as you called it, jump the scene. I can’t put a doctor out there. It’s not practical. And I can’t even go with a nurse because we have a shortage of them at the hospital. But a paramedic is the perfect person because you’re trained in medicine and first response. You don’t get to act independently, though. There will be a lot of situations that won’t be yours to call. And even though I might not be on-site, I’ll still be the one who makes the big decisions. Which does have me concerned. I’ll be honest about that.”
“I’m not going to mess this up, Jack. It’s an opportunity I never expected and…” She swallowed hard, fighting back her emotion. “I mean, I know I’ve got a long way to go before you turn me loose, but…thank you.” She swiped back a tear and sniffled. “Thank you.”
He really wanted this to work out. Saka’am needed more than they had, and Carrie needed more, as well. In her vulnerable moments it was so clear. But she fought that vulnerability. Fought it hard. So he was worried about whether this was the right decision, especially since she hadn’t even started her training yet. But, well…there was something about Carrie that drew him in more and more every time he saw her. And he couldn’t stop himself from reacting. “So, go home, pack an overnight bag, and I’ll pick you up in a little while.”
Carrie pushed herself out of the chair and smiled. “I’ll be waiting.” Then she hurried out his door.
And Jack…well, he stayed in his chair a few minutes longer, wondering why he’d just done that. He had all the good reasons ready on the tip of his tongue but there was another one, one he wasn’t willing to give serious thought to. That was the one that made him nervous. The unthinkable thought that was beginning to unravel him. The one that made him do something he wouldn’t normally do—get involved. And, any way he looked at it, he was involved.
* * *
“You didn’t tell me there weren’t any roads out here,” she said, holding on to the truck door for dear life.
The road was a bumpy one. There was a better way to get to Saka’am, but this shortcut shaved off a good thirty minutes. And he was already later than he’d wanted to be. “This is a fine road,” he shouted, so she could hear him above the rattling of the truck and the road noises. “It’s passable.”
“Then what you’re telling me is that if the road is passable, it’s a good road?”
“Any road that gets me where I’m going is a good road.” It was a statement that reflected his life, as he’d never expected to be taking this road again. Not in the literal sense, but in the much broader one where hiding from the realities of his world now seemed the preferable thing to do.
“Are you sure there’s a town at the end of it?”
He chuckled. “Last time I was out here there was. It takes some endurance to get there. And we are taking the road less traveled.”
“The road bound to cause orthopedic injuries?” she asked, rubbing her back.
“Not if you’re used to it,” he said, swerving to avoid a deep rut in the road and effectively sending Carrie lurching sideways, straight into him, despite her seat belt holding her in place. “You OK?” he asked.
It took her a couple of seconds to push away from him, and in that short span of time he put his arm across her shoulder protectively. Brushed his hand across her cheek as he did so, which caused her to shiver.
And while his touch didn’t mean anything to him—he probably wasn’t even aware of it—it meant something to her, as the goose bumps sprang immediately to her arms, and her breath caught in a sharp little gasp. Not from the colliding of bodies, though. From the gentle near caress that had come afterward. Her first thought was to linger there another moment or two, to smell the slight hint of lime in his aftershave, or enjoy the hard muscle of his upper arm or the surprising smoothness of the hand that had barely brushed across her cheek. Maybe she was indulging herself in a fantasy…
But that would be obvious, and silly, and there was no point. She wasn’t living in a fantasy here. And all the things running through her head for those brief seconds were pure fantasy. Being held. Stroked. Making love. “Ask me in the morning,” she said, straightening back up, “when I can, or can’t, get out of bed.” She looked over into the back seat where Bella was sitting to make sure she was OK. The dog seemed happy to be there, though. And unfazed by the bumpy ride. Even so, she reached back to pat her.
“Then let me prescribe a long, hot shower when we get home tomorrow.”
“Not tonight?”
“Oh, the aches and pains won’t have set in by then. It usually takes a good twelve hours or so.” “Which means by the time I wake up in the morning…”
“You’ll be feeling it. But there won’t be much you can do about it because the people there don’t have a hot tub like I do.”
“Is that an invitation?”
“It is, unless you want to take a long, hot shower in your apartment. If you have hot water.”
Carrie moaned. “Where I’m living, if you get water doing anything more than dripping from the showerhead, it’s a miracle, and lukewarm is a luxury.”
“Well, like I said…the hot tub. Plenty of hot water. Nice, massaging jets.” He stopped himself before he let it turn into a real invitation complete with a specific time attached to it. Tomorrow night, my place at seven, hot tub. Clothes optional. Yeah, like that was what he needed—an image of her in his tub, clothes optional. Hell, what clothes? What red-blooded man would invite a lady to the tub with the option of clothes?
The one who was so out of practice he couldn’t even remember the way the man-woman thing worked anymore. Not that he wanted it. But, still, it was there, finally waking up again. At the wrong time, in the wrong place. In a man who’d taken a personal vow, years ago, that he wouldn’t travel that path again.
“Depending on how the rest of this trip goes, I might take you up on that offer,” Carrie said, adjusting herself in her seat again, thanks to another big chunk of pitted road. “So, do you invite all your paramedics back to your place?”
“Actually, in the few weeks it’s been my place, the only person I’ve invited there, besides you, is Priscilla.”
Carrie laughed. “I heard Melanie Clark at the hospital has a big crush on you. Bet she’d accept an invitation.”
“If I offered one. Which I won’t. Not to her, not to anybody else.”
“Except me and your grandmother,” Carrie said. “Not sure how to take that, Jack. Are you placing me in the same category as your grandmother? You know, as in cozy friend or relative?”
“Trust me, my grandmother’s not anywhere near your category.” And there was nothing about Carrie he wanted to turn into a cozy friendship.
“Which is?” she asked.
He glanced over at her. Saw her smiling. And the twinkle in her eyes. She was baiting him. Teasing him. Testing him. Maybe even…flirting? No, she wasn’t flirting. She couldn’t be. Wouldn’t be. Except that smile… “Tactical paramedic and professional woman. No-nonsense. Practical.”
“Well, now I know why you don’t date. I mean, seriously, no-nonsense? Practical? You need to get a better style if you ever intend on inviting a woman to your hot tub for anything other than soaking her achy muscles.” She laughed, then turned her attention to the scenery outside, while Jack loosened his grip on the steering wheel and forced himself to concentrate on the road ahead. And only on the road, until they reached Saka’am, where he turned onto a dirt road that ran a curious, crooked path to the center of the two-street town. Right past the cemetery he wouldn’t look at.
* * *
Saka’am was basically an intersection in the middle of nowhere, where one road crossed another, with several buildings standing along each of four directions. Then nothing but houses dotting the general area surrounding it. All the structures were white, wooden clapboard in one shape or another, each had trim of different colors, and all of it looked very tidy, well kept. And almost ghostly.
“So, this is all there is to it? No other houses than what I’m seeing?”
“Most of the houses are spread out. Not too many people live in town. They fish, hunt, farm…and they live where they do that. Pretty much like rural areas everywhere.”
“Well, it’s certainly not Chicago, is it?”
“And that’s a bad thing?” he asked, as he brought his truck to a stop in front of the church, and twisted in his seat to wave at the line of people beginning to form at the door.
Victor Redbone, the town grocer and owner of the one and only restaurant in Saka’am, a diner that served early breakfast, then closed for the day, was already jotting names on a yellow legal pad. And Chief Charley Begay, an old-time fixture who was highly regarded as the self-appointed leader of the community, scowled at everyone heading toward the town hall, eager to get their names on the medical list. There were many familiar faces Jack was glad to see. And his father-in-law, Chief Charley, a face he didn’t want to see.
Carrie laughed as she hopped out of the vehicle. “I’ll let you know later,” she said, as a wave of eager, laughing women swept her straight inside the building.
Jack watched her disappear, then sighed. It was probably a mistake dragging her into a part of his world he kept hidden. But she caught him up and engaged him in ways that even Evangeline hadn’t been able to do. Of course, what kind of husband had he been to Evangeline? The worst. The very worst. So it wasn’t fair to compare.
Still, with Carrie…