Chapter Nineteen

Addison stared out at the early-morning Nashville traffic from the quiet of her living room, the coffee cup warming her hands but not the rest of her. She tried to put the conversation with Mr. Dawson out of her head. They’d “gone in another direction” for their board. Someone who fit the already established group of members. Someone other than Addie.

He didn’t share that information until after he asked about Sawyer’s ability to participate in fund-raising events, but Addie made it clear they weren’t a package deal. At least not in that respect.

“What about other respects?” she asked herself quietly. When she’d seen him with an ice pack on his knee, she knew he’d been holding back. He didn’t trust her, and though part of her could understand, most of her just felt hurt at the realization.

Taking a deep breath, she thought of calling Sawyer but didn’t want to interrupt him. They had another away game and this one really mattered. Whoever won tonight would take the series. She thought again about his knee and knew she couldn’t ask Doc about it. What she’d seen had been in their private time.

But this morning, before he left, he’d seemed distant and somewhat removed. Did he expect her to let him down?

When her phone buzzed with a text saying her parents were in a cab on the way over, she pulled herself out of the patio chair and went back inside, heading to the kitchen.

By the time she’d started pancakes and bacon, her parents arrived, looking happy and well rested. Her mom gave her an extra long hug, like she had a sixth sense about Addie’s moods.

“You okay, sweetheart?”

Addie held tighter as her dad walked past them into the kitchen. “I’m good. Just got some lousy news and I didn’t realize how much I missed you guys. Now that you’re here, I wish it was for more than the weekend.”

Pulling out of the embrace, her mom put both hands on Addie’s cheeks. “We’ll come again for Thanksgiving if you’d like. Then you can come to us for Christmas. Does that work?”

Pulling in a quick breath, Addison willed herself to breathe out the negative thoughts. She looped her arm through her mom’s and they went to the kitchen with her dad. “That sounds perfect.”

“And, of course, Sawyer is welcome to join us. I like him, honey.”

Her stomach did that rolling adrenaline thing like when she went over a bump too quick in the car. Yeah. She liked him too. A dangerous amount for how long they’d been together.

“Me too, but we’re still new, Mom.”

“This smells delicious,” her dad said, easily taking over the cooking.

“I can finish, Dad.”

He winked at her. “Set the table. I’ve got this.”

They fell into an age-old routine, the three of them, getting the food to the table and settling around it.

“Tell us about the bad news, Addison,” her father said, taking a bite of pancake.

She told them about the MS Society, the board, and even about roping Sawyer into being auctioned off.

Her dad laughed, setting his fork down. “Wow. That’s a good man, honey. Letting you do something so wild before he even knew you.”

Addie’s stomach twisted uncomfortably. They’d settled the score. “He is a good man. And I did pay him back for his time by helping him out.”

“You still owe him,” her mom said with a mischievous smile before taking a sip of the tea she’d made.

Hmm. She might not owe him, since they’d called it even, but maybe it was time to up her payback game, give him more reasons to have a little faith in her and them. Ideas swirled until her dad mentioned the MS Society again.

“Are there other things you could take part in? You’ve focused your attention in this area for so long. Surely, there must be other things you feel passionate about.”

Her breath caught in her throat, and she split a glance between her dad and her mom. Trying to cover her surprise, she shrugged. “I’d say this is a pretty important cause for our family.”

Addison’s mom set her tea down with a deliberateness that caught Addie’s attention. Her parents exchanged a look, and she caught the barely there nod her dad gave her mom.

When her mom reached out her hand to cover Addie’s, she knew whatever she was about to say had been a long time coming. “Addison, sometimes your dad and I feel like you’re carrying an unnecessary weight.”

She scrunched her brows. “What? What do you mean?”

“You don’t have MS, baby. And I’m living a happy, wonderful life that I couldn’t be more grateful for. Since you were a little girl you’ve taken on this fight, and we’re so incredibly proud of you. But you’ve got a sort of…tunnel vision where this disease is concerned.”

Addie pulled her hand back and picked up her fork and knife. “It’s always been a part of our life. I want to make sure people are doing everything they can to raise awareness and money for it. There is still so much more that can be done. You know that.”

“I do. We do. But would you feel this invested if I didn’t have it?”

Addie unintentionally slammed her fork down. “How can I possibly know that? This has always been our life.”

“We’re not trying to upset you, Addison. And again, we couldn’t be prouder of you, but your mother and I feel like you’ve put an unnecessarily heavy burden on your shoulders. If your heart is truly in it, that’s wonderful. We just don’t like the idea that you’re carrying some sort of misguided or misplaced guilt.”

Tears burned her eyes, so she kept them on her plate. “I hate knowing you’re suffering. And that I can’t do anything about it.”

She heard her mom’s chair shift, and then she was in the chair beside her, pulling her into her arms, one hand on her head, like when she was a little girl.

“It is not your responsibility, Addison. Do you truly want to be on this board?”

Sniffling, Addie considered the question. “No. But I truly want to make a difference.”

“You do and you have, Addie. Always. You’re an incredible woman. But maybe it’s time to start finding your own passions without thinking it’ll somehow negatively affect your mother’s health.”

She hadn’t even realized the truth in what they said. While she was working through the paperwork for the wellness interviews, she’d thought of several ways to connect the Slammers to the community. When she’d first come to Nashville, she and Isla had formed a connection with the local school board, and they were working on creating a mentoring program with the players and students.

There was more she wanted to do there. She thought of Alyssa and how gracious she’d been in her offer to participate in something and the limits her own career had imposed on her. What if they started something together? Something that wasn’t just about one specific thing but more about creating an overall awareness for the way people could positively impact other people’s lives…

“I can actually hear the gears turning in your head,” her mom said, pressing her head closer to Addie’s, making her laugh.

“I don’t want to abandon the work I’ve put into raising awareness and money for multiple sclerosis.” She shifted out of her mom’s hold and returned to her food.

“We aren’t saying you have to,” her dad said. “Just know that whatever you do or don’t do doesn’t directly impact your mother. No one could ask for a more compassionate, proactive, and thoughtful daughter. But again, Addie, it doesn’t have to be your fight. Your mom won’t suffer if you don’t get on some board of directors.”

It was interesting, and somewhat freeing, to look at it from that perspective. Since she was twelve, she’d thought it was her job to show that she could do something. Her parents had never put that on her. She’d done it to herself and counted every step back as a failure. As a direct link to letting her mother down.

“Now. If you really want to do something for me, how about giving me more than a maybe for Christmas,” her mother said, her grin sparkling all the way to her eyes. She returned to her seat and her tea.

“I can give you a yes for me. Just me. For now.”

She rolled her eyes when her parents started talking about how to get Sawyer on board. She tried not to get excited at the idea that he’d want to spend the holidays with her family. Focus on the smaller picture.

While her parents started clearing the table, Addie pulled her phone out and texted Sawyer.

Want to come celebrate your big win at my place tomorrow night? I have a surprise.

She didn’t actually have everything worked out, but she’d have time, even with work and her to-do list, to get it done. His response didn’t take long.

I’m intrigued. Hopefully you’re right about the win. Should I bring anything?

Her heart beat rapidly, little flutters ricocheting in her chest.

Just you and the intention of staying the night.

Those three little dots that made everyone wonder what was coming appeared. Her breath snagged while she waited. What was he typing? Had she imagined his reserved mood this morning?

Finally, his words appeared.

Already the best surprise ever.

That was the hope. That it would be as memorable and meaningful for him as it would be for her. That she could show him through actions, even if she wasn’t ready to say the words, that he could trust her, count on her, believe in her. Addie had always been proud of her ability to reach her goals. But she’d never felt for any man what she already did for Sawyer. She was determined to pull the jaded blinders from his gaze and show him that not everyone would let him down.

That she could be the one to give him reason to trust in his heart again.