Chapter Twenty-Six

Addie truly didn’t know what to expect. Sawyer didn’t take her hand as they walked toward Meat & Eats Steakhouse. Sawyer held the door open for her and touched his hand to the small of her back as she passed by him, but there was no warmth in his touch. Given how affectionate and sweet he’d been lately, it was noticeable.

“Welcome to Meat & Eats. Do you have a reservation?” The baby-faced hostess, who in all fairness was likely in her twenties, checked Sawyer out from head to toe. She didn’t even glance Addie’s way.

“McBain,” Sawyer said, clearly oblivious to the young lady’s blatant ogling.

What is wrong with you? You’re not a jealous person and even if you were, hello…he’s hot. And famous. And one of the reasons he doesn’t like to go out is that he doesn’t enjoy this. Turned out, neither did she.

“Oh, you have a whole party already here,” bubbly hostess girl said.

“Why are you frowning?” Sawyer’s breath tickled her ear as he leaned toward her. A shiver racked Addie’s body. The man was too potent for his own good.

“I’m not,” she muttered.

He chuckled, and she glared at him as they followed behind the bouncy blonde.

“I like brunettes,” he whispered, his hand resting just above her bottom.

“I bet they all like you back, too.” Irritated with herself, she relaxed her shoulders. She was about to apologize, turned her face up to do so, but found him staring at her with such intensity that her words got stuck.

“I don’t care about anyone else.”

Addie let the truth of that soothe her as they walked toward the back of the restaurant toward a semi-private area.

“Sawyer!” A loud male voice boomed over the din of the crowded restaurant and then a behemoth of a man embraced Sawyer in a full body hug.

Addie moved to the side to avoid being trampled. The hostess smiled and walked away. Several long, rectangular tables had been set up, a booth running the length of the wall behind them and several chairs in front. People milled around, settled in the chairs, laughed and talked across the table. Several pairs of eyes wandered to Addie and Sawyer. She felt the tension emanating from him. He kept his hands to himself, but more than that, he seemed untouchable.

Her stomach felt like she was being tickled from the inside. She hadn’t met a man’s family in years. Other than Liam’s, but that didn’t count. She only met them because she was best friends with Isla and because the Cruz family did not believe in a single person eating Sunday dinners alone.

“Good to see you, man,” the guy—he had to be Sawyer’s brother—said, clapping his back and then pulling away. His eyes roamed over Addison and stopped at her face. “And who do we have here?”

Sawyer’s eyes sparked with irritation, and Addison immediately stepped closer. She stuck out her hand in an attempt to be cordial and cover the awkwardness.

“Addison Carlisle.”

“Brooks McBain,” he answered, bringing her hand to his lips and pressing his mouth against her skin. It was an over-the-top gesture, and she wondered if Sawyer’s brother felt the pressure to compete with his superstar status. In Liam’s family, they all seemed to roll with it because in the end, he was a brother, son, nephew, and all-around good man before he was anything else. But from what Addie had pieced together, Sawyer’s family didn’t see him outside of his profession.

“And I’m the soon to be Mrs. McBain,” a striking woman with jet-black hair, bright red lips, and a gorgeous, shimmery and definitely designer blouse said as she sidled up to Brooks.

The way she eyed Sawyer had Addison swallowing back a growl. The woman pressed her voluptuous body against Sawyer’s and Addison was all too aware of her small—in every respect—body. But when Sawyer barely allowed the woman to hug him before pulling Addie closer, her irritation smoothed. She’s his ex for a reason.

“Lena.” Sawyer’s voice was tight. She couldn’t imagine how…weird this moment must be for all of them.

Addison reached out and shook the woman’s hand. “Nice to meet you, Lena. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding.”

Lena gave Addie a once-over, much like her fiancé had, and a cool smile tipped her full mouth upward. “Thank you. We’re very happy,” Lena said, her gaze assessing. Her eyes flitted to Sawyer.

Brooks pulled his fiancée closer. “Some things are just meant to be.” He looked at Sawyer and his jaw clenched. “Whether you want them to be or not. You can’t always pick who you fall for.”

Sawyer shook his head. “I’m here celebrating you two. How about we leave the drama aside?”

Others started to say hello and ask Sawyer a barrage of questions about the season and the way it ended. Politely nodding and mumbling quick answers, he pulled her to the end of the table. A striking woman with long blonde hair and Sawyer’s eyes watched them as they sat across from her and the gray-haired man who had his arm around her.

Sawyer went around the table, leaned forward, and pressed a quick kiss to the woman’s cheek. “Mom. You look good.” He shook the man’s hand. “Dennis.”

“You brought your girl. How lovely. I wasn’t sure I’d get to meet you,” his mom said, locking eyes with Addie.

Sawyer sighed. “Been a little busy, Mom. This is Addison Carlisle. Addie, this is my mom, Rita, and her husband, Dennis.”

The introduction was almost robotic. Cold. She stared at him, but when he avoided her gaze, she turned on her work persona and shook both of their hands.

“Nice to meet you, Addison. Tell us about yourself,” Rita said. Addie was grateful seats hadn’t been saved closer to the bride and groom to be. A waitress came to the table.

“Hi. I’m Rochelle, your server for tonight. Can I get you two something to drink?”

Rochelle didn’t look much older than their hostess but the lines around her eyes suggested she was already tired. Addison had a feeling tonight would be a long one for all of them.

“I’ll have a cola,” Addison said when Sawyer raised his brows, waiting for her to go first.

“Same. Thanks,” Sawyer said, smiling tightly at the server. It reminded her that he didn’t like crowds in general and worked hard to avoid his family. The part of her that wanted to mend things for people, make lives easier, hoped that tonight would be a sort of bridge. He’d opened up so much in the weeks since they’d met. Tonight was a chance for him and his family to connect away from the media, his profession, and any expectations.

“So, what do you do, Addie?” Rita asked when the waitress walked away.

“I work for the Nashville Slammers organization as the director of special projects and team wellness.”

She got a little thrill every time she said it. She loved her job. Even when it was challenging. Sawyer’s mom’s brows rose right into her bangs.

“That’s quite the title. How long have you and my son been hooking up?”

Before she could answer, Sawyer covered his face with his hand and sighed. When he lowered it, he shot his mom a hard look. “Nice way to put it, Mom.”

“What? A mother can’t ask? The only personal details I get from you are the ones I read in Tell-All magazine.” She looked back and forth between Addie and her son.

His body stiffened. “That would be due to your tendency to overshare anything I tell you with that magazine’s competitors. Addie and I have been seeing each other for a bit, okay?” He stared straight ahead, but Addie felt the impact of his next words like a burn. “We work together, we became friends, it turned into more. No big deal.”

Dennis smiled. “Least this way she can keep tabs on you, huh, son?”

Sawyer made a low growly sound that would have made her laugh if she hadn’t caught Lena’s obvious interest in the conversation. Her fiancé was telling a story that involved him being in a less than dressed, quite inebriated state that didn’t sound all that fun. But he and his friends found it hilarious. Addie didn’t like the way Lena watched Sawyer, like she was wondering if she’d made a mistake.

Hell yeah you did.

“How’s the knee, Sawyer?” Dennis asked.

Sawyer glanced at Addie, his gaze shuttered. A chill tickled her skin. This Sawyer, the one around his family, was aloof; closed off. It made her sad to think that his family brought that out in him. Despite his having said, only seconds before, that they were “no big deal,” she placed her hand on Sawyer’s jean-clad thigh under the table. His muscles spasmed, making her smile. At least he couldn’t hide an honest response.

“It’s good. Rehab helped and now that the season is over, I’ll be able to rest up. I’ll be starting once we’re back,” he said.

“Your brother said you went out to see an old friend who specializes in reconstructive surgery,” Dennis replied.

Addie arched her brows. Sawyer didn’t meet her gaze. “A while back I got a second opinion.”

Addie waited to see if he’d say anything about the new direction he was considering.

“They going to give you a raise?” His mother took a drink of her margarita, eyeing her son over the rim.

“What? No. I signed a contract, Mom. Can we not talk about this? Please?”

“What do you pay your agent for? If I were you, I’d fire that woman. You should be doing endorsements with Reebok or Nike.” Rita set her drink down.

Sawyer picked up a menu and ignored his mom. Addie felt the tension start to seep into her pores. She’d expected some awkwardness—she knew his family rubbed him the wrong way.

“Don’t ignore me, Sawyer. I’m worried about your career,” his mom said.

“Give it a rest, Mom. Things are fine.”

He looked at Addie, his eyes giving her nothing. “Wanna share an appetizer first?”

She hadn’t expected the strange mix of anger from his mom’s tone and Sawyer’s almost zoned-out responses. “Sure.” She wasn’t sure if she’d be able to eat.

Dennis smiled at Addie. “Don’t mind us, dear. This is normal. Just giving each other a hard time like family tends to do.”

Sawyer rolled his eyes, and Addie just sat there hoping the dim room made it too hard to see the flush of embarrassment she knew was highlighting her cheeks. The conversations at the table overlapped and drowned each other out. Brooks kept telling stories and asking his friends to back him up about how funny it was. Several of the men talked to Sawyer about the season, the team, and the perks of being on the road.

“It’s not easy being on the road. For one thing, most teams play better at home. You’re not sleeping in your own bed, you’re eating somewhere different every night. It can throw you off,” Sawyer said to a woman sitting kitty-corner to them who’d asked about traveling.

Brooks picked up his drink and finished it off, setting it down with too much force on the table. “My brother, the poor little rich man.”

Others chuckled. Addie did not. She felt the tension emanating off Sawyer’s body. The waitress came to the table to drop off a large selection of appetizers, distracting people from their conversations.

“You okay?” Addison whispered the words when she leaned into his side under the guise of reaching for their shared platter of spinach dip.

“Fine. I think I’m back to owing you.”

“You don’t. I’m having fun,” she said.

His eyes locked on hers, and she was thrilled to see his irritated expression had morphed into a flash of amusement. “You’re a really bad liar.”

Despite the bubbles of tension that kept popping into the various conversations, Addie was glad she came. He’d opened up a lot over the last several weeks, but she knew it was still hard for him to believe people would stand by him without getting anything in return. She’d known, in theory, tonight would be hard but experiencing it in all its actuality made her happy he had her on his side.

The night didn’t get any better from there. It was too loud, too boisterous, and too many people asked Sawyer for stories, details, favors. They actually asked him for tickets, meet-and-greets, did he know this person, that person, any chance they knew if the organization was hiring. Addie got tired just listening to it all. In between that, his mother made remarks about her credit card limit being too low and his brother continued to tell stories that made his need for the spotlight almost embarrassing. Addie loved crowds and people. It had been one of the key differences in her and Sawyer’s personalities. But if these were the kind of “people” he put up with when he was out, she could understand his reluctance.

Overwhelmed by the combination of meeting his family, seeing how awful they could be, wondering how to help, and just the entire tone of the evening, Addie needed a break. Her nerves were stretching to a breaking point. Pushing back from the table, she grabbed her purse. “I need to use the restroom.”

Walking away from the table was difficult with the maze of people. It was more like a house party than a dinner and though she loved socializing, she did not like this kind of party.

In the bathroom, she touched up her makeup and willed herself not to cry. She loved parties, crowds, people. But this was overwhelming. She could only imagine how Sawyer must feel. He’d told her he wasn’t close to them, given her reasons why, but the picture had not been made clear enough. His family was such a stark contrast to her own.

This is exactly why he avoids his family. Shouldn’t be too hard to convince him to do Thanksgiving and Christmas with my folks. She thought Isla’s family was toxic. This was a whole new brand of the word.

She made her way back to the party, stopping when she saw Sawyer talking to his brother. If he was up and away from the table, maybe he was ready to leave. She was okay with that. She certainly didn’t have an appetite anymore.

“So, is it serious? You really dating her or do the Slammers have a babysitter watching you now?” Brooks clapped his brother on the shoulder as others milled around, sort of in a circle. None of them noticed her.

“She’s hot is who she is,” one of the guys said.

“That’s one way to stay on the team, man,” another added.

Addie’s skin crawled.

“Listen, you can cover tonight, right?” Brooks asked. A couple of the guys pulled out their phones and looked down at them while he leaned into his brother.

Sawyer stiffened. “Whatever.”

“That’s my baby brother. I spoke to Ozzie. He said you were flying out to see him again.”

Who was Ozzie? Sawyer leaned forward. “Did you call him?”

His brother shrugged. “He’s my friend, too. After your first game of the playoffs, I was worried about you. I called to see what we could do to support you.”

Sawyer gave a hard laugh. “That’s rich.”

“Just trying to be a good big brother. You get the MRI he suggested?”

Addie’s brows scrunched. He needed an MRI? There was no one named Ozzie on the Slammers payroll. That might have been the person he was visiting when she’d picked him up what seemed like forever ago.

“End of the month. Can you back off with the twenty questions and just let me enjoy the night?”

People milled around them like they enjoyed even the opportunity to be close to him. Not that she could blame people for that entirely.

“Ever think we ask so many questions because we rarely see you?”

“Ever think you rarely see me because you ask so many damn questions when you do and then share what I say with media outlets for money? Or did you think I didn’t know who the anonymous source was? I’m here, I’m celebrating you. Can that be enough?”

Addie’s emotions were a teeter-totter, unsure which side to settle on. Would his own family sell him out like that? If so, she could see why his trust was skewed. But to not tell her he was still having that much trouble with his knee? That hurt. That negated a lot of the intimacy they’d shared.

Brooks took a long drink of his beer. “Glad to see you found a woman. Sometimes the right one will turn your life around.”

Sawyer rolled his shoulders. “Let’s hope Lena does that for you, but I’m not into the whole happy ever after gig.”

Addie’s heart squeezed so tight it was painful.

“Too bad, but you’ll feel differently when you actually find the one.”

“I guess we’ll see,” Sawyer said nonchalantly.

Addie’s mouth dropped open. She wasn’t looking for a diamond ring, but a man didn’t commit to Christmas when he didn’t feel like that person mattered. Like they had the chance of at least being the one. Unless…unless he’d said all the things she’d needed to hear? She couldn’t believe that, though.

It’d been too hard to get close to him in the first place for it to have been fake. Maybe it isn’t fake. Maybe it’s just not as much, to him, as you’re making it out to be. Maybe he’s not thinking the way you are at all. The realization and knowing they were on opposite ends of the expectations spectrum was a slap in the face. It was a conversation they hadn’t even had. How dare he have it so casually with his brother?

She let out a shaky and audible breath. Sawyer turned and, seeing her, his face paled.

Addison straightened her shoulders, stuck her chin out just a tad. “I’ve called an Uber. Congratulations on your engagement, Brooks. Sawyer. I’ll see you at work.”

She made it outside of the restaurant, and if it hadn’t been for how shaky her hands were as she pulled up the Uber app, she would have made it farther before Sawyer followed her out.

“Addie, wait.”

She whirled on him, pointed her finger at his chest. “No. You wait. How could you say those things? It’s okay if I’m not the one, but you made it sound like you don’t care at all. So what are we even doing together? I’m too old to play games, Sawyer.”

He gripped her shoulders and bent his knees. “I didn’t mean them. You have to know that. You know how much I care about you.”

“Could have fooled me with that little show in there. And if you care about me so much, why would you keep it from me that you’re getting an MRI? I’m your girlfriend. You’re supposed to trust me. Open up to me. Share with me.”

“Yeah well, that hasn’t worked out so well for me before.”

Addie shook her head. “Okay. I get why you wouldn’t tell me everything right away, but we’ve been falling for each other for weeks now, Sawyer. When do I get your trust? When do I get all of you? Why wouldn’t you tell me about the MRI?”

“Because I don’t know if you’ll run to your best friend and she’ll use it as the ammunition they need to prove I’m not recovered enough to do my damn job, okay?” He ground out the words, but she could see from the way his face fell that he regretted them.

Unfortunately, regretting something didn’t make it disappear.

Pushing away from him, she typed in the information to call a car then tucked her phone in her purse. Tears burned her eyes but she would not cry in front of him.

“I’ve never given you reason to not believe in me. If you can’t see around your past to realize that not everyone is out to betray you, then we can’t make this work. I can’t be with someone who is always holding back. I deserve more than that.” Even if it ripped her apart inside.

The expression on his face, the pleading in his gaze, nearly undid her, making her want to comfort him. “Addie, I’m crazy about you. But it’s ours. No one else’s. My family will find a way to use this against me. Against us. I was protecting you by making things seem less than what they are. And I was going to tell you about the MRI.”

A car pulled up, and Addie signaled she’d be a minute.

“When?”

“Soon.”

Her jaw flexed and she forced herself to ask. “When?”

His gaze shot to the ground. “After I found out everything was okay.”

After. Because he didn’t trust her to know before. “I have to go.”

Sawyer stiffened. “I’ll drive you home.”

Pulling in a breath, she bit back her tears and worked to keep her voice steady. “No. I can take care of myself. The thing is, Sawyer, if you cared about me, the way you say you do, you would have opened up to me. I’m not hard to read or devious. My feelings are written all over me and you know it. You also probably know that this, what we shared, is unlike anything I’ve ever known. Maybe it wasn’t the same for you, but my whole life, I’ve been all about making others happy. You made me happy. I didn’t ask for more than you were ready to give. All I asked was that you trust me and be honest with me. You couldn’t do that. So, I can’t do this.”

“Addison. Please.”

He stepped forward, and she moved back. She didn’t have much longer before the tears came. “Don’t. This won’t work. I’m sorry. I’m in love with you. That means I’m willing to give more than everything I’ve got to make this work. But I can’t do that with someone who doesn’t know how to do the same.”

“Ma’am? You all right?” The driver of the Uber had rolled down the passenger window and was watching them.

“Addie, don’t go.”

She had to. Turning, she got into the car and buckled her seat belt, ignoring the feel of Sawyer’s gaze. “Let’s go, please.” Tears slipped, blurring her vision as she pulled out her phone.

Isla picked up on the first ring. “Hey. So? Is the family as bad as he claims?”

Her breath hitched and she covered her mouth, trying to hold back the sob.

“Ads? What’s wrong?”

“I need to go home,” she whispered.

“I’ll meet you there. I’m on my way.”

“No.” Her body shook. “To Colorado. I want to go home.”