Enamored: A Transgender Romance Fiction Two Pack

There's just something great about that first cup of coffee in the morning. The taste, the smell, even the little routines one must go about to prepare it: it all adds up to that one, perfect moment when you wrap your hands around the mug and breathe in the fragrant steam rising off that most wonderful of all beverages.

It is also, might I add, a great way to stretch out those few precious moments you have to think when someone drops a conversational bombshell on you first thing out of bed.

I stared at my friend Jasmine, far too wide-eyed and bushy tailed for ten AM on a Saturday morning.

She stared back, grinning from ear to ear.

I sipped my coffee, hoping desperately she would forget what she had asked and disappear while dreading the conversation that would follow her inevitable failure to do so.

Pregnant pause.

“Well?”

“Well what?” I fired back, completely ignoring her annoyed eye-roll as I took another drag of my legal substance of choice.

“Well... what did he say?” She asked brightly, undeterred by my rudeness. If it were later in the day her excitement might be contagious; as things stood, it was only serving to make the twinges of a hangover from the night before that much worse.

I stared at her. Again.

She grinned back. Again.

I might as well have been staring down a cat for how likely it was I would win.

“I didn't bring it up.”

“You WHAT?!”She screamed, bashing her fists on the table and jarring my elbows enough to almost knock my cup from my hands.

“It just... it didn't seem like the right time, okay? And keep quiet or he'll hear you!” I hissed back at her. I dreaded that worse than anything: not only would he want to know exactly what I was keeping from him, but if I had a touch of hangover, it was guaranteed he would have sunglasses on before ever leaving his room.

Faster than I could change the syllables Jasmine's gaze shifted from a stare to a glare.

“You need to tell him, Bree. No, you have to tell him. He deserves to know.”

“I don't even know why I ever told you.”

Jasmine gave a noncommittal shrug, the bunches she had tied her hair in bouncing cutely with the movement. “We’re girlfriends, it's what we do.”

I didn't respond. It was safer to just sip my coffee and hope like hell he wouldn't wake up any time soon.

“Oh! 'Morning, Jake!”

...Well, shit.

An unintelligible grumble was his only response as I heard my roommate stumble through our meager living room on his way to the bathroom we shared. No way was I turning around to face him, not right now. Instead, I focused all my will on beaming a psychic command to Jasmine to be quiet and not say anything else.

“You're telling him when he comes out, Bree,” she told me matter of factly, proving with one phrase her own sadism and my complete lack of supernatural powers.

“No. And would you please watch what you call me when he's around?” I asked quietly, glancing nervously over my shoulder at the closed bathroom door, the sound of muffled retching coming from within. The sound of the sink soon after told me that brushing was underway, giving Jasmine another few minutes to torture me.

“Pssssh, he's heard me call you Bree tons of times before. Bree, Bri, it's all the same.”

Of course, it wasn't, but that was Jasmine; always pushing, always egging me on. If it weren't for her practically being my sister, I don't know how I would stand it.

The bathroom door opened again with a creak and a groan, the latter being Jake’s as he plodded toward the invigorating aroma of the coffee pot.

“Hard night?”

“Sweet nectar of the gods, wash away this sinner's pain,” he grumbled as he grabbed a cup from the tree. The coffee was gone almost before it hit the sides of the cup, followed immediately by a refill before he joined us at the table. “You're here early,” he commented to Jasmine, giving her a quick squeeze before settling into his favorite spot, his back to the window.

“Me and 'Bri' needed to have a talk. Bri?”

“No, Jasmine.”

“No what?”

“Nothing!” I squeaked, an embarrassing habit of mine, as Jake just looked at me curiously. “It's nothing, really.”

“Well, if it's nothing,” Jasmine goaded, resting her chin in her hand and giving me a look that said 'you are so screwed,' “then why don't you tell him?”

I tried the psychic messaging thing again, this time a simple 'Jasmine you bitch!' Her return smirk spoke well of my burgeoning mental abilities, at least.

The three of us sat there in silence, Jake just looking on confused while I bounced between glaring at Jasmine and avoiding eye contact with him, and Jasmine sat with a look of enjoyment as she watched me squirm.

“Welp, with that wonderful news outta the way, I gotta get ready for class. You be here when I get back, Jasmine?” Jake asked as he stood from the table, giving me one last look of confusion before heading for his bedroom.

“It looks like it.”

Oh, coffee, save me.

*****

“I can't believe you did that to me!”

“Oh, be quiet. You can too.”

Okay, I'll admit, that had been an outright lie. Jasmine was not one to sit idle while others pussyfooted around things, and if there was one thing I had learned in our decades of friendship, it was that she was even more against it with me.

She was the reason I had my own place, after all, and not still holed up in my parents' basement spending all my spare time drawing comics.

I really missed my comics at times.

“Jasmine, it's just... he's gonna hate me when he finds out.”

“So? Kick him out! The place is yours, after all. Really, Bree, you gotta learn to make a stand!” She said this, of course, while stealing the TV remote from my hands and changing the channel to MTV for their seven hundred and sixty-third Teen Mom marathon, my most hated show of all time.

“Does it count if I make one against you?” I asked, taking the remote back and returning the channel to History's chronicles of the vikings.

“Nope! Besides, you know you love it.” This time she changed it to cartoons, which I could at least live with. Until I realized she'd also swiped my bag of corn chips.

“I just don't get why you want me to tell him so badly! It's not like it's that big a deal, really.”

“It's not like it's that big a deal, really,” she mimicked, using the nasally falsetto she always did when she thought I was being whiny. “It is too. You're hiding a major part of yourself from him, and let's face it, if you don't tell him he's gonna either figure it out himself anyway, or get the entirely wrong idea.”

“And why do you say that?”

All she did was nod at how I was sat on the couch.

“...So?” I said, untucking my legs from beneath me and setting my feet flat on the floor. “So I'm a bit... femmy.”

She actually laughed. “Femmy? No. You're a girl, there's a big difference.”

I certainly knew that. It was a battle I had been fighting with myself for years, after all.

“So, if you're gonna keep letting Mister Studly Delicious stay here, you need to let him know. Either he'll be alright with it, and you'll be more comfortable, or he finds another place to stay. It's that simple.”

How do you argue with that? Believe me, I had tried many times, and never succeeded. I still had to try again, though, just on principle. “But Jasmine, it really isn't that simple. I don't want him to... I mean...”

Her eyes lit up as she began to giggle, her hands flying to her face in glee. “Oh my god, you like him! Ah, my little girl is finally growing up!”

“No! That's not it, he's just a friend! He doesn't know! It's... damn!”

Quick as a flash she was across the room, her arms wrapped around me in a tight, sisterly hug. “So that's why you don't want to tell him, then.”

I shrugged. “Maybe?” She made no move to let go, so I continued. “He's nice, he's smart, and we have a lot of common interests.”

“He's good looking and has walked through the living room with morning wood enough we both know he's hung like a--”

“Jasmine!”

“Hey, there's a reason I call him Mister Studly Delicious!” She said, pulling back and giving me a playful wink.

“I think it's YOU who have the crush on him, then, not me.”

“I never said anything about a crush. Besides, last time I asked Monica wasn't into threesomes.” Monica was Jasmine's on-again off-again girlfriend, and if anything only marginally saner. “I told her it isn't any different than when I put on a str--”

“Jas, really, that's enough!”

“--and she always likes it when I turn her over and ouch! Bitch!” She gave me a mock-stern glare as she held her hand against her cheek where I had lightly slapped her.

“Next time stop when I ask you to.”

“She doesn't,” she said with another wink, but thankfully changed the subject as she saw how red my face was growing. “Seriously, though, this is a good thing. We can double date or something some time.”

“Hah! Like that's likely. We both know he isn't gay, Jasmine.”

“And we both know you're not a boy. So?”

“Soooooo, does it matter if I'm a boy or not when my body says I am?”

“Eh.” She flopped back on the couch, retrieving my nearly-empty bag of corn chips from where she had left them. “If that's what it's saying, it needs to speak up.”

Alright, I guess it's time for the personal description. I'm Brian Conway, twenty-five year old college dropout and aspiring fantasy sculptor. Five foot ten, a hundred and forty pounds, brown hair, blue eyes, blah blah blah. And no, I'm not one of those people who look so much like a girl that nobody ever thinks I'm a guy. I'm just kinda neutral, I guess, though my waist-length hair and insistence on not letting any grow elsewhere probably tips the scales a bit in favor of the more feminine. Okay, so I have a touch of curves, but that's due to exercises designed specifically for enhancing them more than any natural tendency.

“Bree, how long have we known each other?” Jasmine asked, a serious expression on her face for the first time all morning. “Since we were three? Four?”

“Since you spilled sand in my hair at the playground for hogging all the buckets.”

She nodded, her trademark snarky smile reappearing. “And in all that time, have I ever steered you wrong?”

“There was that time you talked me into prank-calling Mickey Landon and asking him out.”

“Hey, you'd been going moony-eyed over him for weeks. I never thought he'd say yes.”

“He thought I was setting him up with you.”

“Again, no threesomes. Besides, that doesn't count.”

“And why not?”

“Because I’m the one who got in trouble for that, not you.”

I grinned. It was true; she'd spent the next two weeks trying to get Monica to forgive her for having a date with a guy.

“Listen, girl.” She wrapped me in another hug, this time bringing the chips with her. “All I'm saying is, as nervous as you are now, and despite all your reservations, telling him would be the best thing you could do, for both of you.”

“And what makes you think you're so smart?” I asked, poking her in the ribs.

“Hey, some of us actually finished our degrees,” she replied with a smirk, stealing the last handful of chips from the bag.

And the chase was on.

*****

- 2 -

Jake came home maybe an hour later to find me and Jasmine tangled in each other's arms.

“Should I leave you two alone?”

“Get her off me!” I screamed as Jasmine resumed her tickle-torture, the scissor grip she had on my knees destroying any hope I had of getting away on my own. “Aaaah! Help!”

Jake, to be fair, just rolled his eyes before walking over and easily lifting her by her shoulders and setting her to the side, nimbly dodging her half-serious attempt at a headbutt.

“Seriously, dude.”

“What?” I squeaked, still in my position on the floor with my arms raised defensively, trying to get my breathing under control.

He shook his head before picking me up just as easily as Jasmine, holding me stable when I nearly fell over. “I swear you two act more like twelve year old girls than grown ups.”

I looked down to where his hands held my elbows steady, and blushed.

“Uh, yeah...”

“There's a funny story behind that, actually,” Jasmine said as she dusted herself off, her face not nearly as flushed as mine for a variety of reasons. “You wanna tell him, Bree?”

Seriously? Not even five minutes after he gets in?!

“What's up?” He asked, stepping back from me and giving me a slightly annoyed look.

“I... I'm not sure I wanna say.”

Jake sighed, running his hands through his short-cropped hair in a gesture I always thought was very cute. “I just got out of Abstract Algebra, on a Saturday, no less. I'm really not in the mood to be jerked around, guys.” With a flop he landed on the couch, his feet sticking off the end. “Now, Brian, you're either going to tell me what's going on, or you're not. You,” he said, pointing to Jasmine with a stern look, “are going to stay quiet. There is obviously something up with Brian, so stop pushing.” With that he leaned back and closed his eyes, making it obvious the next move was ours.

Well, mine, apparently, since Jasmine was in shock over being reprimanded.

“Uhm... anybody want coffee?”

That drew me two silent glares. Hey, it was worth a shot.

I got myself a cup anyway before lowering myself nervously into the recliner across from the couch, Jasmine settling herself on the edge of one of the stools at our small counter.

Whoo. Okay, Bree, you can do this.

Did I at least have time for a bit of introspection first?

Too bad if the answer’s no, I'd take it anyway.

I had known I was a girl since I was little. I know it's a cliché, but I'd known I was a girl since I'd first learned there was a difference. No, I wasn't one of those who craved pink and frills and all of that; I was just a girl, not a boy, as simple as that.

My parents didn't exactly indulge me, but they never tried to change who I was either. By the time I was five they had grown used to me asking for dolls or colorful toy ponies rather than action figures and toy cars, and were content to let me be myself so long as it didn't cause problems.

Which it did, starting almost immediately upon entering kindergarten.

My parents never once made me hide who I was, and Jasmine was always happy to play with me regardless of what others thought. Even at that age, though, kids can be cruel to anyone different, and I learned quickly to hide myself behind a facade of boyishness.

I got the action figures and toy cars, even if I never played with them. I roughhoused and I fought, even if it meant me crying to my mom when I got home. I played the role of boy as best I could….

But I never once doubted that I was a girl.

I did well, believe it or not, and by the time fifth grade rolled around I was just seen as weird, and not the 'sissy' they had called me so much earlier. I made friends – and no, they weren't all girls, or just friends of Jasmine – and tried my best to appear as normal as possible.

Jasmine supported me as much as she could.

She knew I was a girl. She'd known since we'd first met, or so she said, and had never given me problems. As little kids we would visit each other, bringing our favorite toys and playing together, and as we had grown older, we had moved onto all the other things girls our age typically did. In fourth grade we became blood sisters, even.

Her and our parents were the only ones who ever knew. I know it hurt my mom and dad, seeing me go day in and day out putting on a mask every time I left the house, but they let me do things my own way, never pushing me one way or the other.

I pretty much held firm through middle school and high school, too. I stayed in the background, mostly, pursuing my art behind the scenes and refusing all help from my parents to “get me sorted.” I didn't want to see anyone about my problems, I just wanted what little freedom I had to be myself.

Then college came, and almost changed everything.

Jasmine went off to business school, surprisingly enough, while I had different plans in mind for my future. An arts college is a pretty liberal place typically, and almost as soon as I stepped on campus I was overawed by those walking around me and just... being themselves. Gay, lesbian, and more. Could I, maybe, use this as a chance to be myself?

I lasted a semester before I dropped out, broken hearted and nearly broken willed, though even now I refused to think about why. No, that was not something I was going to get into.

That was five years ago. Now here I was, making enough off my sculpting to keep me in a nice flat, and the supplementary income from a roommate leaving me, if not flush, then at least more or less comfortable.

Money-wise, anyhow.

I'll admit, when I placed the ad for a roommate I had fully intended on getting another girl living with me, figuring my idiosyncrasies would be less of a problem. Then, Jake came along. Smart, charming, and okay, more than a little handsome, it took little work for him to convince me to rent the room to him.

And for two years now I had been hiding as much about myself from him as I could.

Jasmine was right. It was like being in high school again, fighting every day to try and act like the boy people thought I was.

I needed to talk to him about this, for his benefit, and for mine.

“Jake, I. Shit. It's just that... I'm...”

“Gay?”

“What? No!”

He never opened his eyes, just shrugging his shoulders. “It wouldn't bother me any. Really.”

“Jake, I'm not gay! I'm... I'm... grrrrr.”

I hate stressful situations, even moreso when they're ones I know are unavoidable. If I didn't do this now, I'd just have to do it at some point in the future, and I knew Jake had plans to stay here at least through the end of his senior year, if not graduate school.

This needed done now.

“Jake, I'm. Whew. Okay. I'm a girl.”

There. I'd said it. Now what?

“Okay.”

Huh?

I looked up. He looked back, calmly, a slight smile appearing on his face when he saw the confusion on mine.

“That's it?”

He nodded once, slowly. “It isn't really news.”

“What?!”

“You refer to yourself as a girl when you're drunk,” he said, with a shrug that said it was no big deal. “If that's all, I need to go grab some books from my room. Is it okay if I study out here?”

I just nodded, still trying to process what had just happened.

What the hell?

*****

“Do I really do that?”

“I don't know: you know I don't drink. Would he lie, though?”

I shook my head, gripping my styrofoam cup tightly. “I don't think so. God, this is embarrassing.”

It was embarrassing enough that while Jake had disappeared to his room to grab his books, I had grabbed Jasmine and dragged her out of the flat and down to the coffee shop on the ground floor of my building just to escape. The owner had given me a nasty look when I had showed up in only boxers and a baggy tee shirt – it was a personal rule of mine not to change out of my pajamas until the last possible moment – but knowing I was a resident he thankfully chose not to enforce the no shoes policy and gave us our coffees without complaint.

So. He knew. Before I even told him, he knew. Was this good? Bad? Meh? I didn't know.

He certainly hadn't reacted badly, so maybe things would be pretty much the same?

Hah! Who was I kidding? There was no way things could ever be the same again.

“I don't know what to do!”

I sat there for a while, just holding my cup and watching Jasmine pick at a danish, both of us lost in trying to figure out how to handle a situation that had flown completely out of our hands. When her danish was gone, she looked up at me and asked curiously, “what had you planned on doing anyway?”

“What?”

She laughed. “I mean, if he had reacted well, what had you planned on doing?”

That stumped me, and made me realize just how foolish I had been. We had been planning me telling him for over a year, and I'll admit, I'd had fantasies – and nightmares – about what would happen afterward, covering what I had imagined as every possible scenario. Not once, though, had I sat down and actually planned out what I would actually do.

“Umm, I hadn't really planned anything. I'd just figured, you know, I could maybe be myself a bit more? Like, hiding things a bit less?”

“Let him start helping with the wash since you don't have to hide your undies?”

“God no!” There were still a few things that I wasn't ready for full disclosure about, after all. “Just, I guess, being me at home instead of putting on the guy act?”

“Yeah, the guy act's gotten kinda ragged 'round the edges. You were never all that good at it anyway.”

“Well, gee, thanks!” I retorted, letting a little of my frustration out.

“You weren't! I've seen the grin he gets when you squeal like a girl at the sight of a spider, and don't tell me you don't.”

“Yeah, well... spiders are icky.” Jasmine just smiled at me. “Come on, a lot of people don't like bugs.”

“You have a shelf full of romance novels sitting in your front room.”

“I like to read!”

“Nora Roberts doesn't find her way onto most guys' bookcases, Bree,” she laughed, knowing full well at least half those books were gifts from her. “And it's not like they're mixed in with mysteries and thrillers and crime dramas. You keep your sci fi and fantasy in a different case, so those don't help hide anything.”

“That's just books, it doesn't--”

“You decorated your flat.”

“Oh, come on,” I groaned, rolling my eyes.

“No, really. You spent well over two months last year looking through magazines and color chips choosing how to paint and decorate the place, and then roped us into helping you do it. You did your kitchen in yellow.”

“It's a nice color!” I was very proud of my canary yellow kitchenette, thank you very much. It had taken forever to find stools with seat covers that matched, too.

“Yes, it is. Just, well, feminine. As much as you think you try to hide it, Bree, you are very obviously a girl.”

In my heart a war was being fought. On the one hand, I was kind of proud I was so feminine. When you're a girl like me, it's one of those things you always question, so having it affirmed is always a nice feeling. On the other, I was appalled at how badly I had been slipping in my 'boy act.' If it was this obvious, why hadn't Jake said something before?

“If it's this obvious, why hasn't Jake said something before?”

“I don't know. Maybe he really doesn't care?” She gestured to the barista for another danish, giving her a wink when she brought it over. “Jake's a pretty laid back guy. And he is studying to be a rocket scientist.”

“Aerospace engineer.”

Jasmine just rolled her eyes at me. “Evs, girl. All I'm saying is he probably runs in a bit of a geek crowd who'd make even you look normal.”

“Hey! They're nice guys, don't say that.” They were, too. Tony was the weirdest member of the group, being a rather open furry and all, but he was still a good guy.

“I'm just saying.”

“But--”

“I'm just saying,” she cut me off, before practically inhaling her second danish. “You think they'd give me their recipe?”

“If they had one, I'm sure you could talk them out of it,” I said, accepting her bid to change conversational directions.

Or so I thought.

“So. Are you ready to go back up and face the music?” She asked me, laying the money for our snacks on the table and standing up.

“Do I have a choice?”

“Nope!” And with that she grabbed my hand and pulled me out of my seat, out the door, and back up the stairs to my flat.

*****

"Knock knock."

"Hey Jas. Have a good talk?"

Jake had used our absence well. His class books were strewn across the coffee table haphazardly, bits of papers sticking out hither and thither. I had expected him to at least look up at us on our re-arrival, but no. His nose stayed in his book, and not the slightest emotion crossed his face, positive or negative.

Really? What the hell?

"It wasn't bad. I need to get the coffee shop's danish recipe."

"I think they order them from the bakery down the street."

"Really? Hmmm..."

"Uh, guys?" I asked meekly, trying to shrug myself down as far as I could. Maybe if I went far enough I'd disappear?

"Yep?" Jake asked as he closed his book, marking his page with his index finger and giving me an expectant look.

"What's up, Bree?" Jasmine asked as well, her eyes shining with excitement.

Now they were both looking at me, waiting for me to make the next move.

Invisibility powers, please activate now!

...

Crap. Still nothing.

"Do we... can we... I mean..."

"Ugh," Jasmine said, rolling her eyes as she came over and gave me a hug. "I think what my ever so eloquent friend is asking is if we should talk about things some more."

Jake looked off into space for a moment before turning back to us with a nod. "I think... yes. And I know just where to start."

With another nod he directed the two of us to sit down, and Jasmine let me go as she took one recliner and pointed me to the other. As soon as we were sat down Jake gave us both a very serious look before laying his book on the table and steepling his fingers.

"First off... who ate all the corn chips?" He gave us both a steely glare.

Alright, I'll admit, that broke the tension nicely, and I found myself almost falling out of the chair I was so relieved. After all, if he was up to joking, then he wasn't angry or upset, and if he wasn't angry or upset, then things were okay, right?

Right?

I sure hoped so.

After Jasmine and I calmed down he gave us a broad grin before throwing himself back onto the couch, laying down. "Now that's out of the way – you owe me a bag of chips Jas – did you want to talk some more?"

I fidgeted a bit before answering. "I guess I need to? If you want to listen?"

"It beats polynomial abstract equations. So. Bree. Like Aubrey, or..."

"Like Brianna," Jasmine said with a smile. "Brianna Nicole Conway."

"Ah. Okay, then. Bree. Isn't that a bit..."

"Cheesy?" Jasmine supplied, getting a handy and conveniently named throw pillow in the face for it. She never tired of that joke.

"I was thinking 'isn't that a bit close to Brian?'"

"Well, I mean," I started, then paused, trying to figure out how to say what I needed to. "I guess I could be Ashley, or Eleanor, or Sandra or anything else, but I'm not. I'm Brianne. I've been Brianne since I was little, I mean, almost as long as I've been Brian. It fits?" I said, unsure of what else I could say.

Jake nodded. "Okay. Next question. Do you want me to move out?"

"NO!" I screamed, nearly bolting out of my chair.

"I just wanted to make --"

"Why would you think I wanted you to move out! Please stay! You don't want to leave, do you?" I asked, tears in my eyes as I started to sob. I knew this was a bad idea!

"Hey, easy, easy..."

I felt a pair of arms wrap around my shoulders, and with more than a touch of surprise realized they were Jake's, not Jasmine's.

"I'm staying. I just wanted to make sure you wanted me to."

"Why would I want you to leave?"

"Well, if you're a girl I didn't know if you'd want a guy for a roommate."

I gave him my best penetrating glare, compromised by the tears I knew were there. "You think I would have let you move in in the first place if that were a problem?"

He nodded. "Point."

He stood up and returned to the couch, leaving me fighting down the urge to try and grab him and keep him near me. One world shaking admission at a time, girl.

"So, if I'm staying," he continued, once everything had calmed down a bit, "and believe me, I still want to," he said with a smile, "then what's going to change?"

"I..." I froze.

"Let me answer this one," Jasmine inserted, filling the silence that had bloomed. "Now that you know she's a girl, I fully intend to have my best girlfriend back in my life. I've been missing her for a couple of years now."

"Jas..."

"Hey, my turn," she said with a serious look. "You've been hiding, Bree, and you need to get out of your shell. He knows now, so there's no more excuses. Now, I'm not going to go raid your closet for your shortest skirt and a cami and make you parade around the place for us... though maybe I should. No blushing, girl, they're just clothes. I'm done with keeping you on the down low though, so –"

"Keeping me on the down low? What are we, in a bad urban drama?"

"I'll be done quicker if you'd stop interrupting, Bree," she answered with a laugh. "You know what I'm saying. No more sneakiness, or changing conversations when Mister Studly Delicious walks into the room, just – ohmigod, you're blushing again!"

Jasmine began to cackle as I just stared at my knees for a few moments, trying to get my embarrassment under control. When I did, at last, work up the nerve to look at Jake again, I could see he was more than a little embarrassed by the name himself.

"Maybe I need to work on getting both of you to loosen up," Jasmine continued when she could speak again. "Jake? She's a girl. She's going to start looking more like a girl, and as impossible as it might sound, acting more like a girl."

"You mean it's possible to act more girly than she already does?"

"Hey!"

"Yes. And so help me, if I come in here and see you using the Brian-act again now that he knows, I'm going to drop you as a client. You need this, Bree, more than you want to admit."

Jas's threat was more than just an idle one. Sometimes having your attorney and your best friend wrapped up in the same person could be annoying.

"Alright, alright."

"Good! Now, follow me," she said, standing up and walking toward my room.

"But, but you said..."

"I said I wasn't going to stick you in your shortest skirt and a cami top. Now, jeans and a cami top, we can do. Get that cute little tush in gear and come on!"

I glanced between her and Jake, my eyes wide open in nervousness.

"I'd like to see, if it's alright," Jake said, with a small smile for me, letting me know it was okay.

Was it really okay? I wasn't so sure, but I built up the nerves to stand and follow Jasmine anyway.

*****

"You're evil, Jas, you know that? Capital 'E' Evil."

"And yet I don't remember you buying this outfit, which implies you picked it out on your own."

I tried to speak, but barely managed a croaked "Eep!" thanks to how dry my mouth had become.

"I always thought you were really white bread, Bree, but I think you've got a hidden kinky side! I might have to borrow some of these."

"You're too busty for them, Jas."

"Monica isn't," she said, holding up the typical schoolgirl outfit with a gleeful shine in her eyes. "Oooh, change of --"

"No. Way."

"Awwww."

What she had me in was bad enough. Really.

Okay, so she'd been honest about just sticking to jeans and a cami, for outer wear at least. She never said anything about the jeans being the tightest, lowest riding pair I owned, or the cami being a satin black lacy thing I'd bought for nightwear during a particularly raunchy drunk e-shopping spree. Combined with my booblets in a strapless bra – and a bit of double-sided tape for that all important non-slip element – and I looked like me.

I mean, the me that's the me I feel is me.

Er, well, you know what I mean.

"Jas, I look like I'm on the prowl," I said, hoping my sneer would mask how good I felt being me after such a long time of hiding it. "Can I at least put on a –"

"No."

"But you didn't even let me –"

"Nope!"

"I –"

"Nah ah ah! Now, makeup bag?"

"In the top drawer, just where it's always been, Jas," I sulked, sitting down on the bed for the upcoming attack.

Instead, she pulled it out then gave me a disbelieving look. "What, have you forgotten how to do it yourself?"

"Oh, for the love of..." I didn't finish as I pushed myself up and snatched the bag from her, digging in it until I found what I wanted to use for the look she'd given me.

"I'll tackle the hair while you put on your face," she said, grinning wildly as she reenacted her childhood fantasies of being a hairdresser while I did the bare minimum of mascara, eye liner, and lip gloss.

The end result was, well, it was me. And no, I'm not trying to say all that again.

"That's it?"

"Yes, Jas."

She gave me a thoughtful look in the mirror above my dresser for a moment before breaking out into a broad grin and hugging me from behind. "Perfect. Make him fall in love with your natural beauty and then dazzle him with the full glamour effect at a fancy meal later."

"Jas!"

"Hey, it could happen! And in these jeans? I thought bras were meant to lift and separate..."

"Aaaaagh!"

“You bought 'em, you flaunt 'em, sistah!” She said in a sing-song voice as she threw my door open and walked out into the living area with an exaggerated sway to her hips and a last wink tossed my way.

I almost followed her before I realized I'd forgotten shoes. Naturally she had already anticipated this, leaving a pair of slingbacks I'd never have had the courage to actually wear sitting beside the door, just out of sight of the front room.

I'd have to cross in front of the door to get to any others.

With another growl of frustration I stepped into the heels, and I'm glad to say I only stumbled for a moment as I got them pulled on. The three inch heel was more than enough, thank you very much.

What is it with stories like mine and kinky shoes anyway?

"Good sir, may I present to you, miss Brianna Conway!"

Giving myself enough time for one final nervous breath, and one last check of my hair/makeup/cleavage in the mirror, I steadied my nerves before stepping around the door frame and glancing up toward where I was sure Jake was at.

Would he like me?

Would he be surprised?

Repulsed?

Afraid?

He had stood up from the couch and was facing my bedroom door, talking to Jasmine, when I entered the room. He saw me immediately and stopped talking, his arms crossed and his face impassive.

….

Then he smiled.

"You look good."

I look good? He thinks I look good! Yay!

"I'll grab her purse and we'll be ready to go."

What?

"Go?"

"Well you didn't think we'd be hanging out around the house all night with you dressed so nicely, did you? Jake's taking us out to Carbonara's for dinner!"

"Carbonara's?!"

"My treat," Jake said with a grin, my eyes only then noticing he had changed himself, now wearing a nice polo shirt and a pair of khakis.

"But, but, but..."

I felt myself start to hyperventilate, and saw the look of shock cross Jasmine's face just before my vision went blurry and I passed out.

*****

- 3 -

“I still can't believe you fainted like that.”

“I still can't believe you thought it was a good idea to try and drag me out on the town after everything else that's happened today already.”

“I wasn't dragging you out on the town, just lunch!”

I glared at Jas.

She glared at me.

Jake gave us both a light bop upside the head.

“Ow!”

“Would you two stop it?”

I crossed my arms and looked away. “She started it.”

“I'll finish it!”

“Girls!” Jake interrupted us again, this time by wrapping his arms around me from behind to keep me from tackling Jas. “Stop!”

Jas grinned and quirked an eyebrow as I melted on the spot, thoughts of how long I'd been waiting for this running through my head at a mile a minute even as Jake's scent filled my nose. If I'd known all it would take to get him to hold me was tackling my best friend I'd have signed us up for a football team months ago!

The sound of the doorbell ringing caused all of us to jump.

“I'll get it, you two wait here,” Jasmine said, giving me a wink before walking off.

“Umm, Bree?” Jake rumbled slightly from behind me.

“Yeah?” I asked, basking in his warmth as much as I could.

“You, ah, might want to let me go.”

“What?” I looked down, and sure enough I had grabbed his arms and pulled them more tightly around me, hugging me close right beneath my breasts. “Oh, uhh... sorry.” I practically threw my arms off his and tried to step away, only to find his own grip only give a little.

“Your hair smells nice.”

I blushed.

“You two ready for pizza?” Jasmine asked, walking back with the boxes and a wicked grin on her face. “Or would you rather me step outside and give you a little time alone?”

“Jas!”

“Umm, that's alright,” Jake said in a far shakier voice than I could ever remember hearing from him, and slowly let me go. “I could go for some pizza, I think.”

Jas and I took the couch while Jake took the comfy recliner, and we all dove into our pizza with the vigor of a group actively avoiding any conversation or eye contact whatsoever. It wasn't Carbonara's, but it was still the best meal I had had in a long time, because I was me, and I was there with Jas and... and Jake….

I looked up at him over my stuffed crust and caught his eyes with my own.

“You two looked cute, but I didn't think you'd get together so quickly,” Jas said, breaking the minutes of silence with an atom bomb of a topic.

“I don't think we're –”

“I don't know about –”

“And it's not like –”

“We've only, umm –”

“Hey you two! Ease up!”

I looked at Jake again. He looked at me.

Blush.

Jas gave an exasperated moan before biting into another cheesy breadstick. “I swear it's like junior high in here right now. What, you two worried your braces are gonna lock if you kiss?” Our silence must have been enough answer, because she groaned again before continuing. “Bree, you've been making moon eyes at him since he moved in. Jake, I know you like Bree too.”

I balked. “Jas, I don't think that's fair, I mean, I was –”

“If you say you were a guy I'm going to beat you over the head with a calzone.”

I shut up.

“You two have been circling one another like vultures for months. Now Bree's got her act together and admitted who she is to you I fully expect you two to make like rabbits by the end of the week, do you understand?”

“Jas!” I squealed in shock at the same time as Jake choked on his drink.

“Oh, come on, you're not that shocked I said it,” she scoffed, waving us off. She grunted before continuing in a gruff voice. “Him boy. You girl. Make snu-snu. Big whoop.”

It was the ultimate awkward moment as I fought both my embarrassment and my urge to laugh, but was thankfully broken by Jake cracking up first, his belly laughs calming me and comforting me at the same time.

“Snu-snu?” Jake asked with a grin, giving Jas a disbelieving look. “Really?”

“Well I figured you'd prefer it over 'bone,'” she answered with a straight face, leaving me and Jake to choke on our dinner again. “God you two are fun to tease!” She let off a laugh of her own before continuing. “Oh, come on, you've both thought about it.”

I was absolutely mortified, and could feel my face burning crimson; seeing Jake's face doing the same thing did nothing to help.

Had he really... even though I was... and now….

“Jake?” I asked, so quietly even I could barely hear it.

“Yeah?”

“Umm….”

“For crying out loud you two! Do I have to do everything? Jake, she wants you to kiss her.”

I looked into Jake's eyes across the table again, the pizza and other food now completely forgotten.

*****

The coffee pot percolated along merrily, the soft 'pup pup pup' as it distilled the most heavenly of heavenly liquids the only sound in the room.

Jasmine smiled at me across the table, her eyes flashing merrily.

I tried my best to keep my face impassive, adjusting my sleep shirt on my shoulders when I got up to grab us cups.

“Well?”

“Well what?”

“Don't start with me, bitch. Spill!”

“Why would I want to waste perfectly good coffee?”

Jasmine's eyes bulged for a moment before she let out a small faked scream of frustration. “Ugh! Getting dirt out of you has always been like pulling teeth. You? Last night? Studly delicious?”

Jake was as quiet as he could be as he opened my bedroom door, but gave me a wink and a heart-melting smile before sneaking back into his own room while I kept Jasmine occupied.

“Oh,” I finally said, settling into my chair with a smile, “I think things went okay.” My smile grew as I remembered the night before, from that first kiss through Jasmine sneaking out... and beyond.

Jas practically dived across the table to give me a hug, shaking with happiness. “Yes! I'm so proud of my little girl!”

I thought about explaining to her that all we'd done was kiss and hold each other, but I decided to let her keep her fantasy. Jake and I had a lot to talk about, and we'd both agreed that waiting was a good idea, though he almost changed his mind when he spotted the schoolgirl outfit Jas had 'accidentally' left lying on my bed.

After how long I had waited to be so happy? It wasn't a big deal at all.

*****

- End of Book 1 -

*****

Book 2: Little By Little

*****

Part 1

You Can’t Always Get What You Want

“You can't be serious!”

Jenna just glared at him, thrusting the skirt into his hands hard enough to push him backward a few inches. “I am. If they catch a boy in my room, then that's it. No more dating. No more going out on weekends.” She stopped her frantic digging through piles of clothes long enough to give him a deep kiss, making his toes curl. “No more us. You want there to be an us, right, Curtis?” She asked him, her voice like honey.

“Uh, umm, yeah?” The boy answered, caught off guard by the question as much as the kiss.

“Then put the clothes on now!” She said in a harsh whisper, jumping at the sound of the front door slamming. “We don't have much time!”

Gulping, Curtis stripped off what was left of his own clothing and began to put on the outfit she had shoved into his hands.

When Jenna had invited him over to study he hadn’t dared to imagine they would do anything more. After all, he was just one of those people who sank into the background, nothing special, while she was... she was the school goddess. Tall, blonde, and perfect, he'd never have hoped she would show any interest in him outside a bit of help with their college-prep literature class, one of the few things he did have some skill at.

Not that their studying had lasted all that long. It took Jenna only about half an hour to get fed up with his summaries of the novel they were supposed to be reading, and only about ten minutes beyond that before she began to use him to vent, sharing with him far more information about her recent breakup with the soccer team captain than he ever wanted to know.

The first kiss had been a huge surprise, almost an attack, as he'd found himself with his arms full of a girl who just seconds earlier had been halfway across the room. The next few were a bit less surprising.

He still couldn't recall going upstairs to her room. Or taking off his pants.

Luckily — or unluckily, depending — that had been about the time they had heard the knock on the door.

“Aren't you dressed yet!?”

“I think so?” He did. He had the jean material skirt on, as well as the powder blue tee she had handed him, the former a bit loose and the latter a bit tighter than he would have liked.

“Huh. Who knew you'd be so close to my size?” She said, a smile curling the corner of her lip for only a moment before she frowned again. “Take the top back off, you need a bra.”

“What!?”

It was more than a bra he “needed,” and by the time they were through Curtis couldn't recognize the person in the mirror, though she was better looking than he had expected. Well, better looking than he was as a boy, anyway, even with his short-ish hair brushed into a loose approximation of a pixie cut.

“Alright, if we walk fast maybe we can make it out the front door before my parents –”

“Sis?”

“Shit! Put these on,” Jenna said, shoving a pair of beat-up sneakers his way before yelling, “be down in a bit Mike! That's my brother,” she half-whispered, sparing him a look of relief.

“So... can I change back then?”

“Huh? No! Are you crazy? He'd tell our parents! You gotta go out like that, I'll stop somewhere for you to change on the way to your place.”

“Go out... oh, shit.”

“Why did you think... grrrrrh.” Rolling her eyes, she stormed over to the door, throwing it open and stepping out. “You coming or what?”

“Or whaaaaaa!” He yelped as she grabbed his hand and began to drag him out of the room.

They were down the stairs, and almost out the door, when Mike stepped out of the kitchen, a sandwich in his hand.

“Eeep,” Curtis managed with a small wave, while Jenna just stood there, frozen.

“Hey girls,” Mike smiled, flashing his perfect teeth while waving back. “Jen, Mom said they'd be here in about fifteen minutes, and she wanted you to be dressed for Dad's business dinner when she got here.”

“Oh crap, I forgot about that! I gotta take... Carly here home, I can't get ready right now.”

Mike shrugged. “I'll drive her. Never hurts to be seen with a cute girl in your car,” he said, giving Curtis – or Carly, he guessed he was for the moment – a wink that left him blushing.

“You.... I.... H-she.... Ah, shit.” Closing her eyes and rubbing her forehead, Jenna turned around and stomped back to her room. Her room, Curtis realized, where his clothes were still laying on the floor. Shit indeed.

With a laugh Mike reached over to the end table and picked up a set of keys. “Come on, let's get you home.”

“Eeep.”

In a daze, Curtis followed Mike out the door and around to the passenger side of a very nice jeep, where to his embarrassment Mike stood holding the door open, waiting for him to step in. “Your chariot, my lady,” he said, giving the be-skirted boy a hand in before closing the door. “So, where do you live?” He asked, as he climbed in and buckled himself up, reminding Curtis to do the same.

“Oh! Uh, over on Mayfield.”

“Mayfield, huh? Nice neighborhood.”

“Umm, yeah.”

“I haven't been that way in a while. Is that little Mexican restaurant still there? The one with the awesome sopapillas?”

“Jorge's, yeah.” Curtis relaxed a bit, realizing that Mike hadn't caught on to their deceit yet. Normally he would complain if someone besmirched his manhood, but given the situation, a little besmirching probably wasn't a bad thing.

“Cool, my treat.”

“What!”

“You wanna go?”

“I –” Curtis stopped himself.

He couldn't go home! The dashboard clock told him it was only six in the afternoon: his parents had a date night tonight, just like every Friday, but they never headed out earlier than seven or so. He could use the spare key to get in, but where else could he go until then with no clothes and no money? “I, I guess?”

“Great!” Mike grinned, with another wink. Curtis guessed that blonde hair and good looks must run in the family. “It's a date then!”

“Date!”

And with that, they were off.

The sopapillas were, indeed, quite awesome. The looks Mike had been giving him the entire meal, though, had left Curtis less than comfortable, and more than a little flushed.

“You enjoying your meal?”

“Yeah! Yeah, it's good,” he said, smiling for the boy who was paying for it. “Thank you.”

“Any time,” Mike said, with another dashing grin. “Though, I do have a question for you.”

“Uh huh?” Curtis asked, nervous. They – well, he, really – had passed most of the meal in silence, giving one or two word responses as Mike had told him about freshman college life.

“What's your real name?”

His sopapilla his his plate with a clatter.

Double shit! Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, public place... triple shit! “I, uh, I'm just, you know, Carly! Like Jenna said! I mean, right?”

Mike laughed, a friendly sound that, like so much that evening, caught Curtis off guard. “Hey, it's alright. It's not the first time I've caught Jenna trying to sneak a guy out of the house in her clothes.”

Blink. “Really.”

Mike shrugged. “Her and Damon break up once every couple of months. She usually sleeps around on him when they do, and she isn't near as clever as she thinks she is. She outdid herself this time, though – you make a really cute girl.”

Curtis blushed, not sure whether to take that as a compliment or an insult. “I thought she just wanted to study.”

“Oh? So you didn't come over to bone her?”

“Excuse me! That's, that's your sister!” Curtis was appalled at Mike's word choice, though he had to fight back a grin of his own when he saw the smirk on Mike's face. “I didn't, well, not that I would have said no, but...”

“Not that she would have given you a choice.”

“Uh, yeah,” Curtis nodded, blushing even more as he remembered the surprise kiss. Jenna was the prettiest girl in school, so was there any guy who would say no to spending a little time with her? Admittedly, his ideas had usually centered around romantic candlelight meals, or having a good talk, or holding hands.

A lot closer to what he was doing with Mike, his inner voice reminded him unbidden, the mariachi music playing in the background just adding to the surrealness of the situation.

“Hey, it's alright. I'm not gonna bite, or tell anyone. Or tell our parents, not that it would surprise them. They know Jenna's a bit of a wild child,” Mike said, when Curtis opened his eyes wide in shock. “So, lemme take a guess. She asked you to come over and help her study. She got bored with it, started kissing you, and you ended up in her room.”

“Without my pants,” Curtis added before he could stop himself.

“But of course,” Mike agreed, laughing a little again. “Then she heard me knock, thought I was our parents, and the rest, as they say, is history.”

“That sounds about right.”

Mike sighed. “Guess it's a good thing Mom sent me home first to check on things then.”

Curtis just boggled at that, still unsure how to take Jenna's family's casual acceptance of her supposed promiscuity.

With another laugh, Mike grabbed Curtis's hand from the table, sending unexpected sparks through the younger man's skin and leaving his stomach fluttering. “I'm thinking if Mom had seen you she'd have insisted on you joining them tonight, just to see how Jenna’d react.”

The idea of that left Curtis's stomach doing backflips for an entirely different reason, though Mike's hand still holding his did little to help.

“So. Do you want to go somewhere and change?”

“I can't, Jenna didn't give me my clothes back!”

“Hey, easy, easy!” Mike said, stroking the back of his palm lightly as he started to hyperventilate. “We can go back and get your clothes in a little while! They're supposed to head out around six forty-five for the dinner, we'll just go back and – wait, where were your clothes?”

“In Jenna's room?”

Mike sighed. “Never mind. She'd notice, and then she'd know I know, and if she knew I knew... well, it'd be a hassle. What about your place?”

“My mom and dad are heading out around seven, so I should be okay after then.”

“Alright, then. Let's say I take you home about eight, just in case. So, another hour or so free. Wanna take a walk?”

“But people will see –”

“A cute girl out walking with a guy. Come on.” Mike stood up, never letting Curtis's hand slip from his even as he paid for their meal and left a tip.

Once outside, they stopped at the passenger door to the car, Mike taking both of Curtis's hands into his, sending even more butterflies to circle his stomach.

“We don't have to go for a walk if you really don't want to,” he said, gazing into the young man's eyes with his own icy blues. “If you do, though, I promise nobody will say anything, and we can come back to the car any time you want. Okay?”

“W-w-why are you doing this? I, I mean, you know I'm –”

Mike leaned in and kissed the tip of his nose, stopping Curtis mid-sentence. “At first? To wind you up a bit. Now? Because guy or not, you're a cute girl. And if there's one thing I like, it's cute girls,” he said with a lecherous grin, causing Curtis to laugh himself.

“So, how about it?”

“O – okay.”

“Great!” With that, Mike opened the door to the jeep and once more helped Curtis inside, giving his hand an extra small squeeze before letting go.

For his part, Curtis just leaned back and closed his eyes, asking himself just what the hell he thought he was doing.

The kiss was long, and deep, with lots of tongue, and both participants had long before closed their eyes, surrendering themselves to the sensation as they held each other close.

“Ahem.”

“I don't think they can hear us,” Curtis said with a grin, as he and Mike watched the two young teens playing tonsil hockey on the bench.

Mike gave him a quick wink, mouthed the words, “watch this,” and then, letting go of Curtis’ hand for the first time since they had exited the Jeep, snuck around the would-be lovers and crouched behind the bench.

Seconds later, he let out an unholy yell as he grabbed the bench and shook it violently, causing the two kids to shoot apart, screaming as they ran.

Curtis could barely keep himself standing as he laughed, only the slightest hiccup interrupting his merriment when Mike came back around the bench and wrapped his arm around the smaller boy's shoulders.

“Your mascara's gonna run if you start crying.”

“I'm wearing mascara?”

That just caused the two of them to laugh even more, barely making it to the bench themselves before they collapsed.

“Hehe, that was mean, Mike,” Curtis said, shoving the other boy playfully.

“Hey, they were all of what, fourteen? They shouldn't be doing that anyway. Now, us on the other hand...” Mike responded, rubbing Curtis's shoulder encouragingly.

A moment of fear struck Curtis before he looked up and saw the goofy expression on Mike's face, making him laugh again. “Hah! You wish.”

The older boy shrugged, smiling mischievously. “Hey, it was worth a shot.” He rubbed Curtis's shoulder again, softly, their hips and sides touching.

Curtis was confused. Here he was, sitting in the middle of the park, on a bench overlooking the small duck pond, with a boy's arm wrapped around him. Wearing a skirt.

Shouldn't this be bothering him more?

Sure, he was nervous, but Mike's easy smile and laidback demeanor had helped keep him from freaking out. Having him nearby had kept Curtis surprisingly calm, and though he was hesitant to admit it, this was the best “date” he could ever recall having. Even after all the rigmarole with Jenna earlier, and his discomfort with how incredibly new everything was... he was having fun.

Mike squeezed his shoulder again gently, and Curtis unwittingly found himself laying his head on the older boy's shoulder with a sigh.

The ducks quacked, and the water lapped at the edge of the pond. The breeze blew.

“So, not so bad after all, right?”

Mike's words brought Curtis back to the moment with a jerk, breaking him out of his zoned-out state. Jeez, he had just been cuddling with a cute guy! Wait, had he really thought 'cute?'

“Aaaah, aah, yeah. It's, it's been fun.”

Mike's eyebrow furrowed in concern as he watched Curtis nervously start straightening his skirt. “Are you alright? I didn't….”

Curtis looked up, and seeing Mike's concern felt his stomach do another flip as he felt a smile start to form on his lips. “No, it's not you. I just, I think I want to go home now, if that's okay?”

“Sure,” Mike said with a smile of his own, standing up and helping Curtis to his feet. “We should get you there right around eight if we head out now.”

“Good,” Curtis said, letting one of his hands stay in Mike's as they walked back to where they had parked, letting himself, just for the moment, enjoy the feel of the other boy's larger hand in his.

The ride to his house was mostly silent, though the two of them held hands throughout, occasionally looking at each other and sharing small smiles when they caught each other's eyes. It was as they pulled up in his driveway that Curtis's nervousness returned.

Mike held the door open as Curtis stepped down, fiddling with the hem of his skirt and avoiding eye contact with the larger boy. “So, ah, thanks and everything. It's been, well, it's been nice.”

“It has,” Mike said, lifting one hand to gently touch Curtis's chin, raising his face until they were eye to eye again, Curtis's jade staring into Mike's amazing blue. “If you ever want to do something else….”

“I'm not a girl,” Curtis objected, even as he felt himself rise up on his toes, lost in the older boy's gaze as their faces drew nearer.

“You can be mine,” Mike whispered, as at the last minute he tilted his head, placing a gentle kiss on Curtis's forehead.

Curtis felt himself begin to tear up at the gesture, and before he knew it had raised his own hands, framing Mike's face as he gave Mike his own delicate kiss on the cheek. “Thank you.”

“You never gave me your name, you know.”

“I know.”

Curtis waved as Mike's Jeep pulled out, holding Mike's gaze as long as he could before turning around and walking toward his home, stopping at the loose corner brick to retrieve the spare key.

He had been excited to be invited over by Jenna, even if it had just been to study. Now he wasn't sure he really wanted to spend any time with her at all, if she was the way it seemed.

But Mike... Mike had shown him something, something inside himself, he had never expected, and though he wasn't entirely sure what it was, he wasn't sure he disliked it either.

As he opened his front door, he slowly swished his hips from side to side as the words to an old song filled his head. He sang the lyrics softly to himself as he stepped inside.

“You can't always get what you want. No, you can't always get what you want. But if you try sometime, you just might find….”

*****

Part 2

Start Me Up

Curtis stared at his phone, amusement, apprehension, and confusion fighting a war inside his head, vying for control of his emotions.

The screen blinked back at him coldly, unaware of his inner turmoil, simply waiting for his next command.

Stare.

Blink.

Stare.

Blink.

Stare.

Ring.

“Shit!” He squeaked as he involuntarily spasmed, sending his phone flying into the air only to land safely on his bed. Eyes still wide in surprise, he gingerly reached across the covers and picked up the object, still cheerily blaring a pop tune as the name “Jenna” flashed across the face, replacing the name he had spent probably ten minutes staring at.

Click. “H-hello?”

“Curtis? Is that you?” Jenna's voice came across the line, somewhat tinny-sounding on the phone, though still bright.

“Yeah?”

“Great! Hey, are you busy today? I wanted to talk about Friday.”

Oh, god. “Umm, no, I'm not busy or anything.”

Crap! Why hadn't he just lied and said he was washing the car or running a marathon or something?

“Cool. Come open the door, then.”

“What?”

The knock downstairs nearly made him drop his phone again, but he managed to clench it before it could go somewhere, though he couldn't repress a small surprised “Eep!”

It took him nearly five minutes to finally work up the nerve to make his way down the stairs and to the door, and another two to finally open it. Despite the wait, Jenna's smile was bright and cheerful when he finally swung it open, and she thrust a McDonald's bag into his hands as she breezed past him toward his living room, a quick “I brought breakfast!” tossed over her shoulder as she flopped onto his family's large, overstuffed sofa in a very unladylike maneuver.

The delicious smell wafting from the bag was enough to distract him from his otherwise already quite distracted state, and after closing the door Curtis took his own place in the recliner nearest the couch, delving into his newfound treasures only to be interrupted by Jenna passing him a coffee as well.

“I didn't know what time you normally got up, so I didn't know if you'd need this or not,” she said with an apologetic glance at the clock on the mantle, where the hands had just rolled around to ten o'clock.

“I usually get up when my mom and dad do on Sundays, and we spend a bit of time together before they go to church.”

“Oh! I'm not….”

“No, they headed out about half an hour ago. You're good,” he said, smiling at her nervousness before delving into the sausage and egg goodness she had provided.

“Whew! That'll make things easier to talk about then,” she said, adjusting her position on the couch to better access her own food.

“Uh, yeah.” Suddenly his appetite disappeared.

The two of them sat there in silence, munching on their respective sandwiches, with neither sure of how to start.

At last it was Jenna who broke the quiet, a pained look in her eyes. “I'm sorry about Friday.”

Curtis blushed. “It's, ah – ”

“It's not alright,” Jenna cut him off, frowning. “Listen, I know I can be a bit, ah, overbearing sometimes….”

Curtis sat there listening, but she didn't continue. In truth, Friday had been a huge revelation for him on so many levels, not the least of which had been Jenna's attitude. She had a reputation at the school for always being friendly and smiling, so seeing her behave so rashly and uncaring had been a huge letdown to him. When she had brought his school bags and phone by the day before she had seemed her normal perky self again, but Curtis had been unable to tell which one was the real Jenna, and which was the act.

With a shake of her head she finally seemed to get herself together again and looked him in the face. “I'm really sorry, if I'd known you were gay I never would have – ”

“Wha?”

The two of them stared at one another, both now equally confused.

“Aren't you gay?” Jenna asked, a quizzical turn to her lips.

“I... why would you think I'm gay?”

Jenna shrugged. “Mike told me about the two of you going out before he took you home, and let's face it, he didn't put that Coral Caress lipstick print on his cheek himself.”

Curtis tried to sink into the cushions of the chair as he felt his face begin to burn.

“It's okay! I don't hate you or anything!” Jenna said quickly. “I just, I wouldn't have tried to, ah, you know, if I'd known. And you didn't act like you hated it….”

Curtis shook his head.

“So, uh. Aren't you?”

Curtis opened his mouth to answer... then closed it again. Then repeated the gesture. Finally, after one last aborted attempt, he managed in a small voice, “I don't know?”

Now it was Jenna's turn to wait until he continued.

“It's just, I didn't think I was, and I mean, I didn't hate kissing you,” he said with a smirk, causing her to smile, “it was just kinda unexpected? And it felt wrong just jumping into it like that. And then we were upstairs, and I was just kind of lost in what was happening, you know?”

Jenna nodded, a look of shame on her face. “I really am sorry.”

“No, it's alright, really. I was just, surprised I guess, and a bit disappointed,” he said, regretting it immediately when he saw her downcast face. “Hey, I'm sorry too.” Clearing his throat, he continued. “Then Mike asked me out to eat, and I couldn't go home anyway yet….”

“I know he knows.”

“...and then we – wait, what?”

Jenna gave him a weak smile. “When we talked about it last night. He told me he knew you were a guy, and, ahem, what I was trying to do. God, this is embarrassing.” She grabbed her arms, giving herself a small hug, and almost involuntarily Curtis found himself crossing over to sit next to her, giving her a small squeeze himself.

“Thanks,” she said with another smile. “I needed that. I... I'm not dumb, you know. I know he was home early to check on me, and my parents worry about me. It's just... grrrr! Damon makes me so angry sometimes! And I know it's wrong of me, but it's just, when we break up, I want to make him sorry for it, so I find a guy who's, like, the complete opposite of him, and – oh, I'm sorry! I'm not saying you're not – damn!”

To his surprise as much as hers, Curtis began to laugh. Here they were discussing a situation where she knew he had been out with her brother dressed as a girl, with her brother knowing he was a guy. She knew he had kissed her brother – even if it was only on the cheek – and she thought he was gay. Yet, she was still apologizing for thinking she'd put down his masculinity.

He gave her a gentle squeeze before standing up and going back to his recliner, a lot more comfortable than he had been before. “I know I'm not like Damon, Jenna, it's alright. So, you were going to... sleep with me... to make him jealous?”

She nodded, a blush rising to her cheeks.

“And, this isn't the first time?”

She shook her head.

Curtis decided then it was better to just say his piece than let it sit between them. “I always thought you were a nice girl at school. I mean, I'd heard a few rumors, but I hadn't believed them. I like you, Jenna – no, as a friend,” he said, when he saw her about to protest, “but that was a real shock to me. If Damon makes you angry enough to do that to yourself, why do you always get back together?”

“It's just that. I mean, he's….” She stopped, her confused expression dissolving into a sardonic smile. “You know, I don't know? We've been dating on and off since freshman year, and I guess we just keep getting back together because people expect us to? I'm always hearing 'you two are such a cute couple' and 'oh, you are just perfect for each other' from everybody, I guess I just started trying to make it true?” Then she laughed. “God, here I was coming over to apologize and ask you to call my brother, and now I'm bearing my soul to you.”

Curtis's smile stopped when her words began to process. “You came over to ask me to call him?”

“Well, yeah! He really liked you, and you know what? I think you really like him. So?”

Curtis glanced over at his phone, now sitting on the coffee table next to the remnants of his Maccy D's breakfast. When he had seen Mike's name and number added under his contacts, his first embarrassed instinct had been to delete it and try to forget Friday had ever happened.

But he couldn't. Something had changed that evening. He had changed that evening, and it was something he would never be able to forget. He wasn't even sure he would want to if he could.

Her hug came out of nowhere, and without thinking about it he found himself giving Jenna one in return.

“You're a good guy, Curtis,” she said, pulling back and starting toward the door.

“Wait, Jenna. We're friends now, right?” He asked nervously, relieved when he saw her smile and nod. What the hell, he'd always wanted a nickname. “Call me CJ, 'kay?”

“Hehe, it's better than Carly, that's for sure,” she said, before waving one last time and heading out the door.

Curtis – CJ – sighed as he stood and began cleaning up their mess. That was one confusion taken care of. Now if he could only figure out how to deal with the other half dozen occupying his head, he would be good.

Curtis James White. CJ. She was right, it was definitely better than Carly. And if he was that worried about being Curtis with Mike….

Yeah. CJ would do, he thought with a grin.

“Hey, beautiful.”

“H-hey, Mike,” CJ said, thrown off guard by the obvious pleasure in the boy's voice. “Umm, what's up?”

“Haha, nothing much. I've been hoping you'd call. I hope you don't mind that I added my number to your phone, I never gave it to you when we went out so I figured what the heck.”

CJ smiled, recognizing a bit of the same nervousness in Mike's voice as he felt in his own. “That's alright. I almost deleted it a half-dozen times though, before Jenna came over and talked to me.”

“She did?”

He started to nod, until he remembered he was on the phone. “Yeah. She said you told her you knew I was a... a guy?”

“Yeah. Just you, though I think she's a bit suspicious about a few of her less convincing past escapes now. I didn't want her to freak out if you did call me, or came over or something.”

“A bit presumptuous, aren't we?” CJ asked with a laugh, drawing one from Mike as well.

“What can I say? I had high hopes. So, did you wanna do something this afternoon? It's my last chance before heading back to campus tomorrow morning.”

CJ was torn. On the one hand, Mike was a guy. More to the point, Mike was a guy whose previous experience with CJ had been seeing him in a skirt and makeup. And he had liked seeing CJ that way too. On the other hand... there was no way CJ could deny he found Mike attractive. He had enjoyed going out with him, the way they had talked, the way he had looked at him. It had made him feel really special, and that was something CJ wasn't used to at all.

“I don't know….”

“Nothing big, nowhere fancy. Just a run to McDonald's or something, and maybe – what?” Mike stopped when he heard CJ start giggling.

“No McDonald's, Jenna brought it this morning!”

“Hah, alright then. How about, no. Just a sec.” The line went silent for over a minute, and CJ was just about to hang up assuming Mike wasn't coming back when the line beeped. “Back, sorry. I've got it sorted, but it's a surprise, okay?”

“A surprise?”

“Yeah. I think you'll like it, though. Well, I hope you'll like it….”

CJ found himself smiling at Mike's nervous chatter, until another issue brought itself to the forefront of his mind. “Mike, I don't have anything to wear.”

“What?”

“I mean, I'm... Mike, I'm a guy!”

“So?” Mike's response caused CJ to stop a pacing he hadn't even realized he'd begun. “I know you're a guy. I knew when I took you out yesterday. It doesn't bother me if it doesn't bother you.”

Did it bother him? He had enjoyed himself immensely on Friday, and though the clothes had been a constant reminder to him of what had happened earlier in the day, had they really made a difference to how he reacted?

Mike had let him know quickly that he knew he was a guy, so not really.

But how would others react to seeing them?

CJ had always blended into the background. Sure, he had his share of friends at school, but the chance of running into any of them was low at best, given that most of them lived out toward Russelbrook on the other side of town.

Was it worth the risk?

“...O-okay.”

“Great! I'll be there at four to pick you up, okay?”

“Yeah?”

“Alright then, I'll see you in a bit! Yes!” He heard Mike let out a small whoop as the line went dead, and CJ was left pondering whether he had just made the smartest or most stupid decision of his life.

“Oh, crap, what am I doing? I can't be doing this, I can't! That's it, I'm gonna call him and cancel. I have the flu or something. That's going around right now, right? Or maybe mono, something contagious so he won't come by. Yeah, that's it, I'll – ”

Beep Beep!

CJ stopped his nervous pacing and stared out the window at the ever so familiar Jeep, watching as Mike climbed out and walked up the sidewalk toward his door.

It still wasn't too late! If he hurried he could –

Knock knock!

Crap!

He cracked the door open, staring around the edge, and eased it open a little more when Mike gave him a friendly wink.

“If you're ready I'm... wow, cute.” Mike's eyes grew wide when he saw CJ.

CJ blushed, a situation that was visible almost from head to toe.

He had told Mike he was a guy. He knew Mike knew he was a guy.

But for some reason, he didn't want Mike to see him as a guy.

He hadn't had the nerve to raid his mom's closet, but that didn't mean that he couldn't do his best with what he had. So, a bright green tank top, a pair of shorts he had stopped wearing two summers ago when he had shot up three inches and they had gone from ‘slightly too short’ to ‘girly short,’ and a pair of flip flops had been his choice. Just barely warm enough for the late-September weather, but it was as feminine clothing as he had. After taking a shower he had even taken his razor to his legs and arm pits, careful not to let his shaky hands cause any more damage than he could help.

His hair and face had been another matter.

He might not have been willing to raid his mom's clothes, but he had gone through a small emo/goth phase a couple of years before, and still had the eyeliner to prove it. Combined with an apologetically borrowed tube of lip gloss, he felt okay with the facial results. His hair had taken nearly an hour on its own, trying to manage something similar to the pixie-ish style Jenna had created in under a minute. All in all, it was a look he hoped pulled off the impression of “extreme tomboy” more than “real boy.”

He had just felt he was successful when his attack of nerves had hit him.

“Uhm, ahh, you sure you wanna take me out? I don't wanna embarrass you or – ” A quick kiss on the cheek quieted his protests, and with his stomach fluttering almost as much as it had been Friday he felt Mike take his hand and gently draw him out of the house and toward the car, stopping just long enough to lock the door on their way out.

Like before Mike opened the passenger side door and helped CJ in, this time giving his hand a small kiss before letting go, leaving CJ even more flustered. As he climbed in himself, he gave CJ a brilliant smile. “You really do look cute, and I like it a lot.”

“Thanks,” CJ quietly answered, finding it hard to look into the other boy's face without breaking out into a blush.

“You... you could have dressed like a boy if you'd wanted to, though.”

CJ was taken aback. “I'm sorry! Did you want me to? I mean, I didn't – ”

“No, no, it's fine, it's... it's really, really fine,” Mike said, giving CJ a once-over that left the boy feeling surprisingly good. “I just didn't want you to be uncomfortable or anything.”

“Oh.” CJ finally managed to look Mike in the eyes again, and almost immediately found himself getting lost in them. “I... I kinda wanted to? I mean, I liked Friday, and, um, how you treated me?”

Mike nodded, their eyes never losing contact. “You liked being my girl?”

CJ just let out an embarrassed gurgle in response.

“I'm gonna let you in on a secret, alright?” Mike asked, taking CJ's hands in his. In a soft voice, so soft CJ had to lean in to hear it, he said, “I don't think it would matter what you wore, I'd still see you as my girl.”

The butterflies danced their way up from CJ's stomach straight into his heart, and he couldn't fight back his grin as Mike released his hands, winked at him again, and started the Jeep.

Mike helped CJ out of the vehicle as always, this time at the beginning of a trail leading into the woods north of town. “What are we doing – a picnic?” CJ stared as Mike hauled the basket out of the back of the Jeep. “You're taking me on a picnic?” Mike just smiled, taking CJ's hand in his free one and leading him down the path.

CJ had been down these trails hundreds of times. They were part of a large nature preserve on the northern edge of their town, leading to scenic overlooks and beautiful little glades dotting the somewhat craggy hill at their heart. Somehow, though, walking them with someone else – no, not just any someone else, a date – was different. Somehow, the trees were greener, the birds' chirping more musical, the honeysuckles that much sweeter.

Somehow, everything seemed better than he ever remembered it feeling before.

It took them only a short time to reach the clearing that Mike had picked as their destination, and working together they soon had a blanket laid and a small collection of plastic dishware sat before them.

“It's just BLTs. I can't cook much so I figured this was safer than risking burning the house down trying to do something complicated.”

CJ bit into his sandwich and sighed. “It's great. Really. This is... it's really romantic,” he said, casting his gaze around at the wildflowers still clinging on, not letting the steadily cooler nights end their fun quite yet, and catching sight of a deer off in the woods. “I've never been on a date like this before.”

“I'm glad you like it.”

“I love it!”

He truly did. Dating had never been high on his to-do list, especially not the kind of “dating” he heard discussed so much in locker rooms and restrooms around the school. But this... this was what he had always imagined a romantic date would be.

Even if he was living it from the opposite side of the gender divide than he had always imagined, he couldn't deny how perfect it all felt.

Their food quickly gone, the two spent a while simply leaning into one another, Mike's arm wrapped around CJ's shoulders as they enjoyed the breeze, and the sunlight, and the world around them.

“Mike?” CJ spoke softly, afraid of ruining the contentment that had settled over him as he leaned his head on the older boy's shoulder.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

He felt Mike chuckle beneath him, a surprisingly pleasant feeling that made him smile.

“Well, I will say, I was hoping to get something in exchange.”

CJ's heart stopped cold in his chest. No. Mike couldn't mean….

“Whoah!” He felt Mike's grip on his shoulder tighten as he flinched back from him. “What's wrong?”

“Mike, I, I mean, I don't think I'm ready for that kind of – ”

“Huh? Oh!” Mike's own eyes shot open as he let CJ go and backed up on the blanket, raising his hands in defense. “Nonono! Nothing like that!” Then he began to laugh, which did more to settle CJ's nerves than any amount of denials could have. “I mean, not that I don't think you're... no.”

CJ relaxed, tension he hadn't known was building draining from his shoulders. “Oh, okay. What, then?” Feeling an unexpected flirty mood, he gave Mike a gentle poke in the side. “If you're expecting me to pay for the next date, you're out of luck, buster.” Which was true, his studies too important to him to risk a job distracting him.

Mike grabbed his finger before he could pull it away, and kissed the back of his hand again. Why did that always stop his breath every time it happened?

“Nothing like that.”

“Okay, then, what?”

“Well, I still don't know your name,” the older boy said, drawing CJ closer to him with a gentle pull. CJ knew he could have easily resisted, but just as surely, he knew he couldn't.

“My, my name?”

“Uh huh.”

They were only a few inches away from each other now, face to face on the blanket.

“My name.”

“Yes.”

Less than three inches.

….

“CJ.”

Their eyes locked together, CJ felt the gentle tug continue as the distance between them shrank even more. Two inches.

One.

Stop.

He stared into Mike's eyes, seeing the same question there he felt echoing inside his own head, bouncing off the walls of his skull and reverberating through his soul.

His eyes fluttering shut, he finished closing the distance between them himself, gently, hesitatingly, pressing her lips to his.

As Mike placed his hand on CJ's hip, she surrendered to the kiss, feeling the corners of her lips turn up as she felt the heat from his pressed into her own, smelled the subtle scent of his aftershave, and felt the scratch of his stubble as he pressed closer into her, her free hand moving on its own to circle his neck.

CJ had no idea how long they spent kissing. Seconds, minutes, hours… time meant nothing as she felt him lower her to the blanket, the only weight Mike placed on her being his hand as it gently slid up her side, under her tank, for his thumb to gently begin to caress the underside of her ribs.

It was the most magical moment of her life, made even more perfect when Mike gently pulled back from her, smiling down at her with his beautiful eyes.

“CJ?”

“...Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

They gently cuddled together for all too short a time before the cooler evening air finally began to make its presence known, reminding the two of how late it was getting. No words were needed as they packed up their picnic leftovers and returned down the path, holding each other as close as they could, as much for the comfort of physical closeness as warmth.

The lights were on in the house when Mike pulled up into CJ's drive. CJ had forgotten about his parents, but somehow found even the concept of facing them on the way into the house little more than a minor annoyance after the incredible day he had just had.

They shared one more kiss before CJ let himself out of his door, their hands reluctantly pulling apart as he climbed down and backed away from the Jeep. As their fingers finally parted, Mike raised his hand to the side of his head in the universal gesture of “call me,” giving CJ one final wink before backing out and pulling away.

He hoped his parents would be in the kitchen, letting him pass through the front room and up the stairs without them seeing him, but even if they were in the front room he was determined not to be ashamed. They might question his appearance, but he could explain that away, confident there was little to no evidence left of the pilfered lip gloss, and smiling to himself at the reasons why.

“I'll definitely be calling, Mike,” he said to himself as he stepped up onto his porch. “What kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't?”

*****

Part 3

Some Things Just Stick In Your Mind

For most students school life is a pain, filled with drama, frustration, and boredom.

For CJ, the last week had lost all of those for him, so preoccupied was he with his life outside of school.

Or, more to the point, the idea of having a life outside of school to begin with.

He had known after the previous Friday he had changed: he had become a different person in some small and indefinable way. After the following Sunday, he felt he had somehow changed again, only this time, the change was more pronounced. He felt excited, and scared, and confused all at once, knowing he would never be the same again.

Would he have wanted to, even if he could?

He sat at his now usual lunch table, waiting to be joined by the last person he ever would have expected to become his friend.

“And how is CJ doing today?” Jenna asked as she plopped her tray down across from him with a grin, swinging her legs around smoothly on the stools their school had mounted to the floor in place of chairs. “Your eyeliner looks better today.”

“I'm getting back in practice,” he said, fighting the urge to check how he looked in the back of his spoon.

It had been a bit of a shock to his parents when he had come out of his room Monday wearing makeup. They had never given him a hard time about his emo phase, but neither had they hid their relief when he had stopped it. Now they just seemed confused, since he had started back with the eyeliner, even taking the time to paint his nails a dark shade of purple, but continued to wear more normal looking clothing.

Mostly.

“That top looks really cute on you,” Jenna said around a mouth full of carrot stick.

“Uhm, thanks.” He didn't even bother to try and fight the blush he felt, knowing it was useless.

That was why it was “mostly,” and not normal full stop. It was almost like his mind had flipped switches on him, and without his ever agreeing or even knowing there was an option gone from “slightly geeky nobody” to “I want to feel pretty” mode.

That was the only way he could describe the feeling he had. Any time he thought about Mike, he felt the urge to feel... pretty. Hence the “top” comment. He had started out the day intending to wear a very normal outfit, just jeans and a loose flannel shirt.

But then Mike had popped into his head – like he was always doing for some reason – and without any real conscious intention a tank top was added to the mix, the flannel had four buttons undone, and after a bit of pulling, folding, tucking, and okay, a few minutes spent playing with his hair, CJ's outfit was transformed from typical lazy male to a cute tomboy look that had drawn him more than a few looks through the day, and not all of them positive.

Then there was Jenna. They had five classes together throughout the day, and ever since the start of school on Monday she had practically been glued to his side at every opportunity. At first it had given his reputation somewhat of a positive boost, the guy most people just glossed over hanging out with one of the prettiest girls around. After three days, though, it had become obvious to everyone that there was no romance between the two, and even his other friends' mild enthusiasm for the new girl in their midst had diminished. For his part CJ found it hard to be bothered, since he had more fun talking to Jenna and just hanging out with her than he could recall having with his friends in years.

She had been almost cloyingly supportive of his “relationship” with her brother, though, as well as his other changes, and he still couldn't figure out what was going on there. She had invited him over to study twice more that week, and though they had spent a good deal of that time legitimately working on their school work, they had spent just as much time simply talking; about music, television, books, anything really, except boys – with the notable exception of Mike. Both study dates had inevitably ended with CJ calling Mike and spending almost as much time talking to him as he did hanging with Jenna, and about many of the same things.

Somehow it was different with Mike. It might have been a lot of the same information, but the tone was different, or the emphasis on how they felt. With Jenna, it was just two friends sharing with one another; with Mike, it was something more.

“So, you wanna come over again this afternoon and hang out?”

CJ gave Jenna a curious look. “You mean study?”

She shook her head, grinning. “Nope! Just hanging out. No schoolwork allowed.”

CJ gave her his own grin back. “I figured you'd have another study date planned for this week like the one you tried to give me last week.”

The shocked look on Jenna's face was priceless, but quickly dissolved into giggles when CJ started in. “No way! I'm done with that, and with Damon,” she said, with a surprising tone of finality to her voice despite her smile. “I promise to be a good girl from now on.”

“Scout's honor?” CJ asked, raising his hand in the universal salute.

“Absolutely!” Jenna agreed, raising the wrong hand but otherwise mimicking his sign quite well. “Besides, if I do decide I need a little help, I'll just plan a study date with my fingers instead.”

CJ nodded as he took a drink, and only barely managed to aim his spit-take away from his friend, Jenna laughing herself silly the entire time.

They may have only been friends for a week, but CJ had already learned to recognize many of Jenna's mannerisms and expressions.

The one she was wearing as she met him at his locker after the final bell was one that he knew boded ill for him.

“What do you have planned, Jenna?”

“Who, me?” She asked, giving him her best innocent expression.

CJ crossed his arms and stared at her, waiting.

“It's nothing bad!” She finally broke, rolling her eyes in exasperation. “You'll like it, I promise, okay?”

“Not really, no.”

“Oh, come on, don't you trust me?”

Silence.

“Oh, just come out to the parking lot with me!” She said, rolling her eyes again as she grabbed his hand and began to drag him down the hall, much to their classmates' amusement.

“Jenna, I still need my...books….” CJ's voice trailed off as he saw the shape of a familiar vehicle waiting for them, with another familiar shape leaning against it with a grin.

CJ was horrified, though whether it was more due to Mike being at his school or Mike seeing him dressed as a boy was a tough decision to make.

Mike, for his part, never said a word as he opened the passenger side door of his Jeep and gave a gentlemanly bow.

“I'll go get your books,” Jenna said, poking him in the shoulder while grinning from ear to ear. “What do you need?”

He must have told her because she walked back to the school building, leaving him standing there frozen as Mike continued to wait patiently, looking CJ up and down with a grin of his own before looking away.

CJ was still standing there when she returned with his bag, draping it over his shoulder before skipping toward her brother's Jeep.

“You coming?” She asked over her shoulder as she raised the seat and climbed in the back. “Or are you just gonna stand there 'til we leave then walk home?”

Shaking his head, CJ finally worked out the command to get his feet moving again and shuffled his way toward the Jeep.

As soon as he was at the Jeep, Mike leaned down toward him. CJ's eyes widened in fear as he wondered whether Mike was about to kiss him….

Or would it be worse if he didn't?

His lips only a couple of inches from CJ's ear, Mike spoke softly. “I'm trying not to embarrass you or cause you problems but I gotta tell you, you look really cute right now.”

CJ blushed, as he always seemed to, as the door was closed and Mike loaded up, his hand finding CJ's as soon as he was in, also as always.

“So, straight to the house, or do we have any stops to make first?”

“Straight to the house, I need to talk to CJ before we go anywhere,” Jenna answered her brother from the back seat, giving CJ's shoulder a gentle push.

Oh, no, this did not bode well for him. This did not bode well at all.

“You can't be serious!”

Jenna just grinned at him, thrusting the skirt into his hand hard enough to push him backward a few inches.

The situation was eerily familiar to CJ, as once again he found himself standing in her room looking at girl's clothes.

Without his pants.

“Come on, you've told me you like being a girl with him. It's no big deal!” She dropped an unopened package of panties on top of the skirt, as well as a camisole and a bra. “I've been planning this all week, it's going to be so much fun!”

“Planning what? Jenna!” CJ stomped his foot in frustration, getting nothing from Jenna but another almost maniacal grin. “I never agreed to this!”

That stopped her cold.

“You're right, CJ. I'm sorry,” she said, her expression turning apologetic. “I just thought... no. You're my friend now, really. I should have... I shouldn't have been so gung ho about this.” With that Jenna straightened her shoulders and faced CJ fully, a pleading look on her face. “CJ, would you mind dressing as a girl and letting my brother take us both on a date?”

CJ thought.

CJ blinked.

“Take us both?”

“Well, I mean, if you don't mind me tagging along? It's not like I wanna date my brother,” she added with a shudder, “but I... I guess I really don't want to be alone tonight?”

CJ sat his handful of unwanted clothes in her desk chair before giving Jenna a hug she obviously needed. “I told you I was coming over to hang out with you. I didn't know Mike was – ”

“I know, that was me being sneaky,” Jenna said, squeezing him tightly back. “But now that it's happening, I wanna join you if I can. And you don't have to change, but... I thought it'd be, you know, fun?”

Still hugging Jenna, CJ thought some more.

“Can I at least wear jeans?”

With a delighted squeal Jenna began jumping up and down, taking CJ with her in her energetic dance of joy.

“Are you two ready yet? Oh, wow, CJ, you look cuter every time I see you,” Mike said as the two of them made their way down the stairs, CJ nervous and Jenna ecstatic.

While his clothes hadn't changed all that much, it was a number of small subtleties that added up to a big difference. Gone were his boy's skinny jeans and accompanying undergarments, replaced by a pair of Jenna's low rise boot-cuts and what Jenna assured him were underwear bought just for him, a somewhat dubious gift. His tank top was gone as well, replaced by what CJ could only think of as an indecently soft cami top as well as a rather small-cupped but amply padded bra that Jenna had refused to answer all inquiries into the origin of. Only his original canvas sneakers and flannel shirt remained, though the latter had been tied off below his new faux bustline, further emphasizing his slender and now much more feminine figure.

Jenna's makeup ministrations had almost been unneeded to complete the change from androgynous tomboy to girl-next-door cutey, though they certainly had not hurt.

“Isn't she gorgeous?” Jenna crowed as she stepped next to CJ and did a pose straight off of “The Price Is Right,” showing off her work.

“She certainly is,” Mike answered, never taking his eyes off CJ's as he stepped forward, lifted his chin, and leaned down to press their lips together.

The instant their lips touched, CJ forgot completely about the clothes and simply basked in the wonderful feelings rushing through her, even the tightness in her stomach and racing heart only adding to the pleasure as Mike took her elbows in his hands.

It was almost too much for her to bear as he drew back and gazed into her eyes again.

“Are you ready to be my girl for another night?”

“I don't think I ever stopped,” CJ answered, surprised at her answer but unable to deny its truth.

“Let's go then,” Mike said with a smile, taking CJ's hand in one of his and Jenna's in the other before leading them out the door.

In many ways the night was less of a date for CJ and Mike than their previous outings, but for CJ it was also, in several important ways, so much better because of it.

An early afternoon movie was their first stop, and despite CJ's growing concern that they would end up watching something romantic, and what that would mean, Jenna's suggestion pulled them into the latest superhero flick instead. Likewise, with Jenna's influence, what could have ended up becoming a romantic meal turned instead into a friendly chat session over pizza at an out of the way parlor frequented more by the college crowd than the local teens.

Through everything CJ's hand almost never left Mike's, and it somehow felt... right. It was the first time the two of them had been out and not made moon-eyes at one another constantly, or been nearly on the edge of kissing at every opportunity, yet somehow that made it all the more special.

Not that they didn't kiss, CJ was happy to consider as Mike gave her another small peck at the check-out for the parlor, freeing his hand from hers just long enough to pay before it found her digits again, like a lifeline to one another; but for once they were interacting like friends as much as lovers, and it was making her love being with him, and how it made her feel, all the more.

“So, where to next?” Jenna asked, rubbing her stomach and unashamedly unsnapping the top of her jeans as soon as they had settled into the vehicle once more.

“What time is it?” CJ asked, glancing at the clock in the Jeep. “Holy... guys, it's after eight.”

“So?” Jenna asked with a shrug. “You said your parents have a date night on Fridays, right?”

CJ nodded. “Yeah, and they're usually not home 'til around 11, but they always call the house at nine to make sure I'm there.”

“Well, can't you just call 'em now and ask to stay out late?”

CJ groaned. “It doesn't work like that. I'm supposed to ask them ahead of time, otherwise it's no deal.”

“Well, that's not... wait. Why don't we just go hang out at your place, then?”

“Really?” CJ asked, surprised at the simplicity of the solution.

“Sure!” Jenna said brightly. “Our mom and dad have another work dinner tonight – thank god I managed to get out of this one – and so long as I'm with Mike they won't think I'll be getting into any trouble.”

“And what about keeping Mike out of trouble?” CJ asked, slapping her free hand over her mouth when she realized what had popped out.

Jenna and Mike both laughed, but nobody had to say anything else to know the issue was settled for the time being, and the trio made their way for CJ's.

“Hey, Mom.”

“Hey sweetie, thanks for picking up. You have a good night?”

CJ fought the urge to laugh, looking at the couch behind her where Jenna and Mike were still sat together trying their best to keep quiet even as they continued to pound one another mercilessly on the old Genesis her dad kept in the front room. “Oh, yeah, definitely.” She couldn't keep from grinning as Jenna's face twisted into despair before she shot Mike a withering look before returning to their game.

“Uh, how about ya'll?” CJ asked, remembering she was on the phone.

“Oh, we're okay. We were thinking about coming home a bit early though.”

Freeze.

“Umm, ahh,” she began gesturing frantically at her two companions, hoping to get their attention. “How early, exactly?”

“Early enough to wonder whose vehicle is sitting in the driveway,” her mom answered, a note of humor in her voice barely masking the underlying tone that told CJ she was in for a long talk as soon as they –

She was still wearing girl's clothes.

“Shit!” She said, slamming the phone down into its cradle and rushing over to Jenna and Mike, watching in horror as her parents' car's headlights flashed through the front window.

She just managed to call out “distract 'em!” to the now fully-aware Jenna and Mike before making a mad dash up the stairs and for her room, slamming her door behind her.

If she changed quickly, she just might be able to get out of this….

If she changed….

CJ looked in the mirror, and felt as though she were really, truly, seeing herself for the first time.

Pause.

*****

Part 4

She’s a Rainbow

“So, this weekend?”

“Yep,” CJ nodded, grinning from ear to ear. “This is the weekend.”

“Yes!” Jenna grabbed CJ in a tight hug and danced about, right there in the middle of the school hallway. “Finally!”

“You're telling me!” CJ answered. “I never thought I'd get un-grounded.”

The punishment could have been worse, she had to admit. Two weeks without getting to go see friends after school or on weekends was rough, but at least they hadn't taken her phone.

The idea that she even had friends she missed hanging out with had been enough to cut through a lot of CJ's issues with the punishment, though.

“I still think you should have let them see your outfit. You looked gorgeous.”

“Maybe... but I don't think they're ready for that, and I'm not sure I am either.”

Jenna nodded in understanding, giving her friend another hug before poking her in the shoulder playfully. “I see that hasn't stopped you from wearing the jeans more, though,” she said, glancing down to where CJ's legs stood encased in said pants.

“Well, I mean, if you want 'em back….”

“Nope! Consider them a gift, same as the undies. Also, same with the cami, and don't think I haven't noticed you using it.”

“Oh, god, has anybody else?” CJ asked, looking around her and trying to squash the sudden irrational fear of someone telling the world she was wearing girl's clothes.

“Oh don't worry you big baby. It's just a bit smoother outline than a normal tank is all.”

CJ sighed in relief, glad to know her more intimate changes in style hadn't been so obvious as to cause problems.

“So... why have you been wearing them so much?” Jenna asked, giving her friend a curious glance. “Ten minutes a night allowed on your phone, and you haven't told me what happened once.”

“It's a long story. Well, okay, not long, but... I'll tell you when we get to your car, okay?”

“Deal!”

It was a long day of classes, but as soon as the last bell rang the pair dashed for Jenna's car, and CJ began her tale.

“Shit!” She said, slamming the phone down into its cradle and rushing over to Jenna and Mike, watching in horror as her parents' car's headlights flashed through the front window.

She just managed to call out “Distract 'em!” to the now fully-aware siblings before making a mad dash up the stairs and for her room, slamming her door behind her.

If she changed quickly, she just might be able to get out of this....

If she changed....

CJ looked in her mirror, and felt as though she were really, truly, seeing herself for the first time.

Pause.

….

Had she really changed so much in just a week?

She knew she was still the same person. The same personality, the same likes and dislikes – mostly – even the same hair style and body.

Yet, looking in her mirror, she saw a girl.

Why did she see a girl?

It was her eyes.

Not the makeup, though that helped. No, it was the look in her eyes that changed things. She was no longer looking into the somewhat weak and shy eyes of Curtis the boy. There was something... more, to the person looking back at her, something stronger, but innately feminine.

Curtis and CJ might be the same person, but at the same time, CJ knew she was a world apart from the boy she had been.

A sharp knock on the door downstairs pulled her back into the present, and she briefly debated with herself before giving a resigned sigh and untying her flannel shirt. She didn't have time to fully change, but losing the bra and rearranging the flannel was enough to mimic the outfit she'd had before leaving that morning, and a quick visit to the bathroom would remove enough of the makeup to give her back the androgynous not-quite-emo look as well.

She wasn't the same as she had been when she left, but at least it wasn't her clothes that said it.

She reached the bottom of the stairs just in time for Jenna to give her a quiet wave on the way out and catch Mike giving her father a firm handshake before following his sister through the door.

Her parents stood in the front room, waiting.

“Umm... hi?”

Her mom was not amused, tapping her foot with an irritated look on her face. “You know you're not supposed to have company over without our permission.”

CJ let out an exasperated sigh. “Moooom, we were just hanging out! What's the deal?”

Her mother looked at her in shock. “What's the deal? You didn't even call us to ask!”

“I was trying to get home before nine to get your call!”

“And what were you doing out so late to begin with?”

“I'm seventeen!” She screamed, stomping her foot. “I don't have to explain everything I do to you!”

“Hey hey hey, both of you calm down,” her father said, stepping between the two of them with his hands raised. “Catherine, ease up. Curt – CJ,” he said, remembering the name she had asked them to start using, “there's no reason to throw a fit. You did break the rules.”

That was her dad, always the calming influence in the household, though she couldn't remember the last time she had argued with her mom like that. “I... I know, alright? And I know that thinking they'd leave before you came home isn't an excuse. We were just hanging out, though.”

“I know that,” he said, glancing at the hastily rolled up console cables with just a dash of humor in his eyes. “It's not good to beat girls you like at games, though. Makes 'em upset, and they might not go out with you again.”

“Dad! She's my best friend!” She said, unable to hide the look of disgust on her face at the idea, nor the following blush when she remembered how handily she had beat Mike, him smiling the entire time.

The strange looks from her parents were enough to tell her she'd said something wrong, but she couldn't for the life of her figure out what.

Her father rubbed the bridge of his nose, his eyes squinted shut. “Go up to your room, your mom and I will – ”

“David, we – ”

“ – We, will call you down when we've decided on a punishment.”

Dejected, CJ hung her head as she walked back up the stairs, wondering why her life couldn't be simple for once.

She just heard her mom ask her dad, “What could be going on with him?” As she shut her door and flopped down on her bed, exhausted.

“...And when I came down the next morning, they told me I was grounded for two weeks, with limited phone privileges.”

“But they didn't say anything else?”

“Not really. It was kinda strained between us for a bit, but I guess they just decided I was being weird or something. I'm just glad they didn't ask about the weekend before, that would have been hard to explain.”

“But it's okay you're hanging out tonight, right?”

CJ grinned. “I cleared it with 'em yesterday. I have to be home before they leave at seven thirty, though. And if we go anywhere this weekend, they have to know where we're going, when we'll be back... gawd, it's like I'm fifteen again.”

Jenna giggled.

“What?”

“Well, it's just... you have pretty much the same rules I have now. I had to leave a text for my mom telling her everything before we went out last time.”

CJ gulped. “Everything?”

“About where we were going, spaz,” Jenna said, laughing at CJ's expression. “You don't think she'd believe me if I told her I was escorting my brother and his girlfriend who he'd met when I'd tried to sleep with her 'cause she used to be a boy on a date, do you?”

“Used to be?”

Jenna just gave her a look.

“Anyway, Mike's running late, a long class or something, so we've got plenty of time to pretty you up before he gets here.”

“I thought we were going shopping?” CJ asked nervously. That was what she had told her parents, and she didn't want to run the risk of lying to them so soon after being released.

“We are! Who do you think you'll be modelling outfits for?”

CJ's heart froze in her chest for a moment, but it didn't take long for her to calm down, and even smile.

“Alright, sounds good,” she said, surprising Jenna with the chipper tone in her voice. “I... I want something of my own to wear on our next date.”

The two friends looked at one another, grinned, and hopped out of the car, into Jenna's house, and on to the next stage of CJ's life.

- End? -

*****

Bonus Story

Satisfaction: A Little By Little Epilogue

“CJ, breakfast is ready!”

With a yawn CJ rolled over and threw off her covers, wincing a bit at the feel of the cold floor beneath her feet. She yawned again as she stood up and stretched, barely glancing at her tee shirt, boxers, and messy hair in the mirror over her dresser before heading downstairs, the smell of grilling bacon summoning her much more efficiently than her mother’s voice.

“’Mornin’ Mom,” she said, giving her mom a quick hug before settling down to munch on the traditional breakfast plate that was already waiting for her.

Her mom turned around to return her greeting, but her smile quickly turned into a scowl. “CJ, what did I tell you about coming down to breakfast like that?”

“Like what?” CJ asked, her voice muffled by scrambled eggs.

“Like that,” her mother said, pointing at her outfit.

“Oh. Yeah.” CJ blushed. “I’ll be right back.”

“Bring your dad down when you do.”

“Yes ma’am,” CJ said, rushing up to the safety of her room. It only took a second to strip off her tee and slip on the bra that was hanging on the back of her computer chair.

It took a few more for her to look at herself in the mirror over her dresser in wonder.

A year and a half of hormones had been doing wonders, and at times she couldn’t believe that the person looking back at her from the mirror was just her reflection. She would have to get used to it, though: this is who she was now, and there was no going back.

Then again, why would she want to?

With a smile for herself she threw her tee shirt back on and took a few seconds to run her fingers through her still pixie-short hair before dashing out of her room, stopping at the top of the stairs and making a U-turn to her parents’ room.

“Dad!” She yelled, rapping on the door. “Breakfast!”

“’Kay sweetie, tell Mom I’ll be down in a minute.”

CJ was already half-way down the stairs before he’d even finished the sentence.

Her mom was waiting expectantly, so CJ gave her a quick spin before settling back into her chair. “Better?”

“Much. Where’s your father?”

“He said he’ll be right down.”

“Alright then.”

CJ and her mom shared a companionable silence as they munched on their respective breakfasts. When her father at last made it down he planted a quick kiss on each of their brows before fixing himself a cup of coffee and diving into his own, just as quiet.

CJ relished the experience, since it had taken them so long to get there.

When she had first told her parents she was a girl, almost two years ago, it had been rough. When she had told them she had a boyfriend, and that they had already met him – more than once by that point – things had only gotten worse. There had been the denial, then the pleading with her that they were okay with her being gay, and then the fights that had left her spending three weeks camping out at Jenna’s place while her parents cooled off.

That was then, though. This, she thought happily, looking back and forth between her folks, is now.

This is home.

“Do you have any big plans for the day, hon?” Her mom asked her as they cleaned up the dishes after their meal.

“Not really, I was just going to take it easy until about noon. The graduation ceremony isn’t until two, and I know Mike was out late last night celebrating with some of his frat brothers so probably needs his rest.”

CJ’s mom nodded. “You spend too much time with that boy. You know there are other men out there, right?”

“Mooooom.”

“I’m just saying, honey. I don’t want you to regret settling for the first boy you ever dated is all.”

CJ laughed at that. “That’s surprising, given how y’all reacted when you found out I was dating him in the first place.

CJ’s mom blushed. “Well, things were different then.”

“Maybe,” CJ agreed, giving her mom a hug. “But my feelings aren’t.”

Her mother smiled at her, fighting back tears. “So long as you’re happy, honey.”

CJ smiled back, barely holding back tears of her own. “You know I am.”

It took less than half an hour of fidgeting in her room for CJ to throw her hands in the air in defeat. “Mom, I’m going to visit Jenna!” She called on her way out to her car, not waiting for an answer.

The drive to the campus was almost an hour, and an almost every day trip for CJ any more. She was still hopeful that between her and Jenna they could afford an apartment closer to campus the coming semester, to get CJ away from home and Jenna out of the dorms, but until then the drive was a necessary evil. There was more to her desire for the apartment than just being closer to campus, she had to admit to herself with a laugh, since it would also mean more opportunities for her and Mike to spend time together away from the watchful eye of her parents.

Not that Jenna was that much better at times, but at least when she caught them necking she would just turn around and leave rather than glare disapprovingly until they stopped.

“CJ!”

“Jenna!”

The two embraced like the sisters they considered each other to be.

“Got your things with you, or are you gonna have to drive back home to get ready?”

“Got ‘em right here,” CJ said, holding up her garment bag and grinning.

“Good. I need your help with something then,” Jenna said, sounding nervous as she led CJ into her dorm room.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. This.”

CJ held back her laughter. There, laying on Jenna’s bed – or at least half-way laying on the bed, half on the floor – was Mike, snoring loudly and wearing nothing but his chili pepper print boxer shorts.

“How long has he….”

“He showed up this morning at like three.”

“And his clothes?”

“No clue, that’s all he had on.”

This time CJ couldn’t hold back any more and began to cackle, followed shortly by Jenna.

“I bet your roommate had a cow!”

“Nah,” Jenna said, snorting. “She’s staying in her girlfriend’s room for the week. And good riddance too: I’ve almost got the pot smell gone from the place.”

CJ nodded: Jenna’s roommate’s habitual use had been a sore point between them for some time.

Giving Jenna a wink, CJ hung her garment bag on the back of the bedroom door and approached her boyfriend quietly. With cat-like stealth she climbed on the bed next to him, sitting cross-legged in front of him.

Bending over, she got up close enough to smell the slight odor of stale beer on his breath. She grimaced: she certainly wouldn’t be kissing him until that was taken care of. Pressing on, she brought her lips up to his ear lobe, gave Jenna one last glare to get her to stop giggling, and gently began to nibble.

“Mmmmmwhaoww!” Mike said, reacting somewhat more suddenly than CJ had expected to her ministrations. She drew back and began to giggle herself as Mike shot to his feet in panic, grabbing his ear and looking back and forth between CJ and his sister, both now helplessly laughing.

“Wha, you, umm… hi,” he finally managed, giving CJ the same devastating smile that had won her heart so long ago. “What are y’all doing in my room?”

“We’re not,” Jenna said, pointing around herself at the decidedly non-masculine décor.

“Oh. Where are my clothes?”

“No idea,” CJ said, looking Mike over from top to bottom. It wasn’t the first time she’d seen the goods, but she never got tired of browsing.

“Oh.”

“You already said that.”

“Y-eah.”

CJ laughed and got off the bed. “Your graduation is in about four more hours.” Digging through her purse she grabbed her keys and handed them to him. “Your overnight bag is still in the trunk. Get home, get ready, and Jenna and I will call around and see if we can’t find your phone and wallet.”

Mike gave her another devastating smile and moved in for a kiss, only for CJ to push him away disgusted. “Eww! Not until you’ve brushed your teeth! And used mouthwash.”

“Wouldn’t that be a bit like hair of the dog?” He asked, surprisingly sober for one who had been passed out drunk minutes before.

“None of that. Now go!”

“I’m goin’ I’m goin’!”

Both girls laughed as he left the dorm, Jenna already texting his phone to find out what had happened.

CJ was proud.

CJ was elated, even.

CJ was also bored out of her mind.

In her mind “the graduation is at three” should have meant they would sit down, hear a couple of speeches, and everyone would get their diplomas in one of those long lines like you always see in movies. Wham, bam, done by four and on their way to celebrate, right?

Wrong.

As she watched the hands click over to four on the clock, the third speech in and another three to go, she wondered if she would be able to get away with sneaking out for a burger or something and coming back in just in time to watch everyone throw the dinkie board things.

Then she caught sight of Mike, standing there and beaming at her.

She beamed back.

For him, she reminded herself. I’m here for him.

It was another hour and a half before the boards were thrown.

CJ, Jenna, and Mike’s parents all rushed him as he came down from the stage, smiles on all of their faces. CJ was the only one he had eyes for, though, as he grabbed her, lifted her up, and spun her around, laughing. He kissed her, his mouth tasting of toothpaste and the mouthwash she had requested.

“Better?”

“Tons.”

Jenna laughed at their antics while Mike’s parents just looked at them slightly confused, the same expression they wore a lot of times where the young couple was involved. Confused, that is, until Mike gave his mom a tremendous hug too, and his sister, and his dad a firm handshake, followed by . . . something else.

CJ didn’t see what the two passed between them, but it became clear when Mike turned back to her, his face flushed, and took a knee, still wearing his graduation robes.

CJ was stunned, too stunned, in fact, to comprehend anything Mike said as he knelt there, baring his soul to her. An eternity seemed to pass as she stood there, wide eyed, until finally her senses returned just in time for the last few words to register.

“CJ, I love you. Would you marry me?”

CJ looked at the man she had been in love with for over three years. If she were honest with herself, the man she had been in love with almost since the moment they had met. Then she looked at the ring in his outstretched hand, a simple silver band with an emerald inset in delicate leaf-like folds.

She looked back at Mike, and then at his family, all smiling at her with just as much love as he was.

Of course she said yes.

- End -

*****

About the Author

Melanie E. has been writing trans fiction of varying types – though mostly romance – for over 15 years. Her work can be found on Big Closet Top Shelf, and more is to come via Smashwords as well.