Ruby sat in Pennington’s staff dining room and morosely pushed at the remainder of her potatoes, blindly staring as they crumbled in a pool of gravy. Why did she have to be so horrible to everyone? Were her problems anyone else’s? No, they were hers and hers alone. Every time she looked into Amelia Wakefield’s eyes, Ruby saw her kindness, thought maybe she recognised Ruby’s pain and could empathise.
Although, she couldn’t imagine what could be happening, or had happened, in Amelia’s life that was so bad. She excelled at everything she touched at Pennington’s.
Ruby glanced at the wall clock and her heart sank. Just four more hours and it would be time to go home. A time when most people revelled in the idea of returning to their families, meeting friends or the prospect of an evening out.
For Ruby, going home meant only one thing.
Grief, violence and the demon drink.
Her fingers tightened around her fork until her knuckles ached, resentment and anger sweeping over her in a toxic wave. How was she ever to find an escape for her and her brother when they had nowhere to go? Nowhere to run. They were trapped in their mother’s house like mongrels in a kennel.
‘Do you mind if I join you, Ruby?’
Ruby raised her eyes and her heart swelled with love, her body with desire, just as it did every time Victoria Lark walked into a room. Ruby’s fork clattered against her plate as she moved to stand. ‘Of course.’
‘Thank you.’ Victoria smiled, her blue eyes dazzlingly bright, her gaze gentle. ‘You looked so alone just now. I hoped I might cheer you up.’
Ruby swallowed and waved her hand dismissively. ‘Oh, no. I’m absolutely fine.’
‘Are you sure? Only—’
‘I’m quite sure. In fact, I’m sorry, but I should be getting back. I—’
‘Ruby, please. Will you spare me a moment?’
Victoria put her hand on Ruby’s, and she felt such a surge of hopelessness that tears pricked hot behind her eyes.
‘Ruby, I know you don’t particularly enjoy your time at Pennington’s, but I want to change that. Pennington’s is such a wonderful place to work and if you spoke to others as you do me, I’m sure you would make friends in no time. There’s no need for anyone to feel left out here.’
I could never speak to anyone as I speak to you. ‘I don’t feel left out.’
‘I’m glad.’ Victoria slid her hand from Ruby’s and smiled. ‘Because that makes it all the easier to invite you out with us tonight.’
‘Out?’ Ruby’s heart thundered. ‘Out, where?’
‘Where else? The Cavendish.’
‘The nightclub? I couldn’t possibly.’
‘Why not?’ Victoria’s gaze turned mischievous. ‘I’ve been there lots of times and it’s so much fun. So freeing. Everyone is dancing and drinking champagne, having a marvellous time. You’ll love it.’
‘But aren’t you concerned about what people might say or think about you going to a place like that?’
‘Why should I?’
‘Well…’ Ruby dropped her gaze, convinced people were talking about her singular tendency to talk to Victoria over anyone else. ‘You are widowed, without a husband.’ She looked up. ‘Don’t you consider what people might say about a woman being out alone after dark?’
‘No, I do not.’ Victoria’s gaze darkened with angry determination. ‘When Nicholas was killed, everything inside me changed. He was crushed to death by a tram. Can you imagine how it felt to be told my husband had been taken in such a way? How it felt to know he lay dying in the street while I was here working and in absolute ignorance?’ Her jaw tightened, tears glistening in her eyes. ‘I learned that day that life is short, and you should understand the same. Life is for living, Ruby. Not for worrying what others might think.’
‘If only that were true.’ The shame of her desires, the love she held for the woman in front of her brought a bitter taste to Ruby’s mouth. ‘People judge others all the time. Every day.’
‘And what of it? It’s up to you whether you listen or let what they say affect you.’ Victoria’s eyes lit with happiness once more, her smile wide. ‘I insist you come tonight. What time do you finish?’
‘Six.’
‘Perfect. That will give you ample time to go home to change. Why don’t we meet outside the store at eight and walk to the Cavendish together? There are a group of girls going from my department and they’d love to meet you properly.’
Ruby stilled as her mind filled with Pennington’s most prevalent gossip monger, Hazel Price. The woman constantly watched Ruby, even more so whenever she was with Victoria. ‘Which girls?’
‘Oh, um, Clara, Nancy… is that a problem? Only—’
‘No, it’s fine.’
Victoria’s smile dissolved. ‘Am I wrong to pursue a friendship with you, Ruby? Would you prefer not to go out with me?’
I want to be with you more than you’ll ever know. ‘It’s not that.’ Ruby glanced around them, relieved that nobody seemed to be watching. ‘I have nothing to wear to such a place. My clothes aren’t as fancy as I’d like them to be.’
‘Then you must borrow something of mine.’ Victoria stood, her eyes shining. ‘Come.’
‘Where?’
‘To my locker. I always keep a couple of frocks here in case the girls want to go somewhere straight from work.’
Victoria’s gaze swept over Ruby from head to toe, so intensely, there was a slow pull deep inside Ruby’s abdomen. She briefly closed her eyes, shame burning hot in her cheeks.
‘Your figure isn’t so different from mine. If we were to lay down together, I bet we’d fit like two pieces of a puzzle.’ Victoria laughed and slipped her hand into Ruby’s. ‘Come. Let me show you my dresses. I’m sure you’ll like one of them.’
Ruby allowed herself to be led from the dining room, the feel of Victoria’s hand in hers absolutely torturous. Her skin was warm and as smooth as silk. She imagined what other parts of Victoria’s body would feel like and forcibly pushed the thoughts far away where they couldn’t cause her further pain.
They entered the staff room and Victoria walked to her locker and extracted two dresses.
She held them against Ruby. ‘Hmm. With your beautiful dark hair and eyes, I think the lemon. It will bring out your colouring perfectly. What do you think? Or do you prefer the green?’
Ruby struggled not to tremble under their proximity. She could have leaned forward five or six inches and her mouth would be on Victoria’s. She swallowed. ‘The lemon is lovely.’
‘Good, then it’s settled.’ Victoria pushed the dress into Ruby’s hands. ‘You wear that tonight and I will see you outside the store at eight o’clock sharp.’ She grinned. ‘See you later.’
Once Victoria had left the room, Ruby sank onto a bench and lifted the dress to her nose. She inhaled lavender and musk, Victoria and desire. What was she to do? There was no way of escaping her mother’s clutches tonight for an assignation with the woman Ruby was in love with.
Why would she even want to when the torment of being beside Victoria would only escalate the pain of never being able to have her? Never holding or kissing her. Angrily, Ruby swiped at the tear that had dared to fall over her cheek and quickly hung the dress in her locker.
She closed her eyes and forced the rage inside her to calm.
One way or another, she would find a way to meet Victoria tonight. She would never disappoint her, let her down, or give her the slightest reason to turn away when Ruby so deeply cherished every moment with her.
Her mother could go to hell before Ruby allowed her to snuff out the singular light in her life.