Samuel glanced at the clock in the control room and stretched the kinks from his neck and shoulders. He was halfway through his ten-hour shift and would soon be released to grab his evening meal. After that, he was expected to spend another four hours doing his duty throughout second class.
Spending time with the passengers was proving to be unexpectedly enjoyable. Talking with so many different people, from so many different places, was interesting. Maybe even a little inspiring. He’d spoken to men chasing their fortunes, women wanting to make a difference for their gender and children who believed America to be a land of magic and mystery.
The last forty-eight hours had put a fire in his belly for change and adventure; if his dream of staying in America turned out to be impossible, then at least he was starting to believe he would return to Bath a different man than the one who’d left.
How that man would show himself, he wasn’t yet sure. All he knew was he could not go on any longer being so caged in by his family. Trapped and anchored in a role he could stand no more.
His father’s face appeared in his mind’s eye and Samuel looked out across the ocean.
Am I a disappointment, Pa? It’s only for you I’m working as I am. Looking after Ma and the girls. But I’m not sure I can go on as I have. Not anymore.
Shaking off his melancholy, Samuel straightened his shoulders. He was working a grand job on a grand ship and he’d be sending money home as his dad would have wanted. Whatever else he might get up to while he travelled was no one’s business.
They had made their final stop in Ireland the day before and were already making good time on the three-thousand-mile trip to New York. The captain was happy with the crew and the crew happy with the captain. The atmosphere in the control room was relaxed, the comradery tangible.
He had a lot to be grateful for.
‘Hey, Sam.’
Archie walked across the room with a tall, broad man who looked to be in his early twenties. ‘Have you met Harold? He’s working with me.’ Archie grinned. ‘Harold Buckley meet my good friend, Samuel Murphy.’
Samuel shook Harold’s hand. ‘Nice to meet you.’
Although beset with a slightly pockmarked face and a shock of bright orange hair sticking out in all directions from beneath his hat, Harold’s eyes were kind enough, his smile friendly.
Archie nudged in between them and laid out a newspaper. ‘Have a look at this.’
Samuel peered at a large black and white photograph of a construction site, the headline A Work In Progress but Progress Indeed. ‘What am I looking at?’
‘Tell him, Harold.’
‘That’s the new Grand Central Station in New York. They have hundreds of men building, laying track, constructing all kinds of amenities and Lord only knows what else. They reckon it’s going to be a train station like no other. A sight to behold when it’s finished.’
Samuel frowned. ‘And why should this interest me?’
Archie raised his eyebrows. ‘That’s all you’ve got to say?’
‘What else should I say? I don’t know the first thing about railways. I can’t be impressed by something I know nothing about.’
‘Blimey, Sam, you’re half blind sometimes, do you know that?’ Archie shook his head and nudged Harold again. ‘Tell him.’
Unsure if he wanted to know where Archie was going with this, Samuel crossed his arms. He and Archie had been friends for ten years despite their different personalities. Archie was impulsive, a risk-taker, a man who didn’t consider tomorrow until the sunlight broke through his bedroom window each morning. Samuel, on the other hand, had responsibilities that curbed any impulsiveness, swamped any risks and ensured he planned for his tomorrows. Whatever had lit Archie’s eyes like lanterns, Samuel was under no delusion he would most likely blow their flames out pretty quickly.
He faced Harold. ‘Go on then. Tell me what hare-brained idea Archie’s dragged you into.’
The other man shook his head, his gaze serious. ‘No hare-brained idea. Grand Central are calling out for workers. They aim to open the station as early as next year and want as many hands to the pump as possible.’
Samuel looked from Harold to Archie’s beaming face and back again, as his suspicion about where this was going grew. ‘And?’
‘For the love of God.’ Archie glared at Samuel. ‘Can’t you see what’s right in front of you?’
Harold puffed out his chest and grinned. ‘I, for one, won’t be coming back to Southampton. I’m staying in America to work on the station and make my fortune.’
‘Ah, I see.’ Samuel faced Archie. ‘And you’re telling me this because I might have mentioned about staying there myself.’
‘Exactly.’ Archie nudged Samuel’s shoulder. ‘This is your chance. You’d get a job there, no problem. You should do it. Stay in America.’
Samuel’s gut knotted with possibility and he looked at the station photograph again. For all his words and bravado, never returning home still didn’t sit well in his conscience. He might have hopes and dreams but could he ever really abandon his family? Abandon his promise to his father? His mother was fragile at the best of times and to desert her could result in her falling ever deeper into depression or worse.
He shook his head, regret coiling inside of him. ‘I’ve got responsibilities. You know that, Archie.’
‘That doesn’t mean you have to stay right in the thick of them. This is your chance, Sam. I just want you to bloody well take it.’ Archie slapped his hand to Samuel’s shoulder, staring hard into his eyes. ‘You don’t have a woman waiting for you at home. No kids. And no set-in-stone reason to go back. Harold is a seaman, a sailor, same as you. Except he’s taking his life in his hands and living it. He wants more than he has right now, Sam. Sound familiar?’
Samuel’s heart picked up speed, excuses and reasons to stop Archie on his optimistic path battling on his tongue. Cowardice to do what he really wanted in his life caught in his throat so painfully, Samuel found it hard to swallow. Maybe he should’ve kept his mouth shut about what dreams he had; how much he sometimes resented the role that had been dropped on him from a great height. His friend never failed to want the best for him, but Archie was a man without commitment or ties to anything other than what he wanted. A man who would never know, God willing, what it was to have a family that became his duty to care for, not by love or marriage, but by death.
‘Look…’ Archie sighed. ‘We have a few days before we reach America, just think about it. You’re not happy, my friend and I don’t want you carrying on as you have.’ He smiled. ‘Rightly or wrongly, I care about you. This could be your way out. I know it.’
Claustrophobia stole through Sam igniting a simmering irritation. Was he just a mug everyone thought they could order around? Tell him what he could and should be doing? He had enough of that at home. If Archie thought he could start acting like his damn mother while they were aboard this ship, he had better think again.
He shrugged Archie’s hand off his shoulder. ‘I might not have a woman or kids, but I have got a family. Bloody hell, Archie, don’t you think I would’ve got out before now if I could? I shouldn’t have said anything to you.’
‘You haven’t said anything to me you haven’t been saying to yourself. And, for your information, I don’t think you would’ve got out before now because when has such an opportunity come your way before?’ Archie crossed his arms. ‘There’s no reason you can’t stay on in America. Find work at the railway. With your mechanical expertise, they’d take you on, no questions asked. There’s nothing to stop you sending money home and, in return, you get a life. One of your own making, where you make the decisions. You get to have some fun instead of your sisters. Isn’t that what you’re hankering? Imagine not having to answer to the women in your life, Sam. Christ.’
Samuel stared at his friend and then at Harold, who shrugged and picked up the newspaper before walking away, one hand raised in surrender.
Samuel faced Archie. ‘Why did you say all that in front of a bloke I don’t even know?’
‘Because Harold isn’t thinking about what he hasn’t got, he’s thinking about what he wants, that’s why. My life is in Bath, Sam. I’ve got a woman I love who I fully intend to ask to marry me when I get back. I don’t want out, you do. We’re working for White Star on a casual basis. If you don’t want to be on the Titanic on the return trip, you don’t have to be. That’s all I’m saying.’
Archie squeezed Samuel’s shoulder before heading across to the other side of the control room. Samuel stared after him, his mind reeling and his heart beating fast. Not return home? Just send word with his latest pay packet that he wasn’t coming back?
The idea was little more than a pipe dream.
Yet, as he looked out over the ocean, the sun sparkling on its surface, the sky meeting the sea, America suddenly felt like the promised land it always claimed to be.
Archie was right.
There wasn’t anything stopping Samuel from staying in New York now that he’d finally broken free. His mother couldn’t keep him in England through words of guilt and responsibility because, in his heart and mind, he was already gone.
Everywhere he looked on deck, people’s faces were alight with happiness and excitement. As though everyone else had something to look forward to during and after this trip. Was there any reason why he couldn’t have that, too?