The afternoon sun beat down on him as Jonas tried to keep the pair of horses he herded from bolting yet again. His shirt stuck to his back, and he smelled worse than a barn full of muck after a long winter. He could see Cait leaning forward, sagging in the saddle. She looked as exhausted as he felt. Exhausted and discouraged.
He tugged on his horse’s reins to slow down and wait for Angus to catch up to him. Before Angus could speak, they both glanced at Cait.
“I think she might be able to hear a pin drop on a barn floor in town, but even Cait can’t hear us from this distance.” Angus’s grimace cracked the dirt caked on his cheeks.
“Long as we don’t shout.” Jonas couldn’t help wishing Cait had stayed at the house. He might love her determination and spunk, but at times like this, he hated seeing her heartbroken.
“I know Caitie wants us to save these horses, but what do you think their chances are? I heard your old boss had a run-in with locoweed last year. How many head was he able to save?” Angus pinned Jonas with an unwavering gaze. Jonas knew he had to give the straight truth and not pretty it up.
“If I remember right”—Jonas paused, knowing they both were aware he wouldn’t soon forget such a horrific event—“he saved maybe five head of stock out of the twenty-five who were poisoned.”
Angus blew out a hard breath. “How many of those recovered completely?”
“Good enough to ride?” Jonas waited until Angus nodded affirmative. “I think only two of them. The others never got past the fear stage. They would startle at nothing—a breeze, a rustle in the brush, water flowing over the rocks in a creek. They would go into a frenzy and even fall down.”
As if hearing his words, the horses in front of him threw up their heads, eyes wide, and attempted to run. The sorrel stumbled into the pinto and they both went to their knees. Angus began to croon a melody. Jonas joined in but didn’t have high hopes that the soothing song would help.
Back on their feet, the two trembled and didn’t seem to know how to proceed. With help from Angus, Jonas got them moving again.
“You can expect them to act like this for a time yet. Some of them suffer from blindness, colic, or diarrhea. They sweat a lot and don’t seem to remember where they’re going or how to get there.” Jonas loosened his canteen for a sip of water. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am that this happened to your animals. You have some of the best horses in California. It’s a shame to lose them.”
“Cait’s worked hard with these animals.” Angus lifted his hat for a moment, his sweat-soaked hair plastered to his head. “I think she wants to save this ranch almost more than I do.”
Jonas knew the truth of that statement. When Cait loved something, she threw her heart into it. She loved her horses, her family, and this ranch. One day, he hoped she would love him with the same devotion.
“How’s the suit going? Making any progress?” Angus kept his voice low, his eyes on Cait. Jonas knew he referred to their deal when he came to work here. Angus had agreed to give Jonas another chance to woo Cait.
“She isn’t as antagonistic. She even seems to accept some of what I say.” Jonas chose his words with care. He didn’t want to give Angus unwarranted hope.
“She’ll come around.” Angus nudged his gelding to the side to bring a meandering animal back in line. “I don’t think she’s ever gotten over her feelings for you. That’s why she was so angry with you. What you did with Keira, her sister, was a fool thing.”
“I see that now.” Jonas shook his head. Trying to fool Cait into loving him had backfired worse than he could have imagined. He prayed God could make this right, because he sure didn’t know what to do.
By the time they had all the horses corralled, the sun had dipped below the horizon, painting the small clouds in shades of pink fading to purple. Jonas tilted his head back to study the artwork. He closed his eyes.
“Sleeping on your feet?” Cait’s sweet voice wrapped around him.
“No, I was thanking God for giving me this moment after a difficult day.” Jonas studied Cait’s upturned face. Her face was crusted with as much dirt as the rest of them, but on her the sweat trails couldn’t detract from her beauty.
“You can thank God after what happened today?” Cait’s forehead furrowed. She didn’t sound angry, just puzzled.
“The Bible says to ‘count it all joy’ when you face various trials, and also we’re to always give thanks. I don’t know why this happened, but I do know if I trust God and give Him time, He’ll teach me something that I need to know.” As he said the words, Jonas wondered if he truly meant them. Did he trust God as he should?
Tears welled in Cait’s eyes. Jonas hadn’t meant to make her cry. He couldn’t help but reach out to pull her close. Instead of fighting him, she leaned against him. Her slight frame trembled. He tightened his hold.
Cait couldn’t recall anything ever feeling so good. Jonas. His arms around her. Solid. Strong. Steadfast. More comforting than she’d ever imagined. She wanted to stay close to him and not pull away. But if she stayed here, she would cry. And Cait did not want to cry. She stiffened her spine and stepped away from the best comfort she’d ever experienced.
The pull to leap back into his embrace almost overwhelmed her. Cait called on every bit of resolve she had. “I’d better check Poppy and her baby and then get cleaned up for supper.” The knot in her throat ached as she started to turn away.
“Cait.” Jonas’s hand on her arm burned a path to her heart as she felt the compassion in his touch. “Don’t shut me out, Cait. Let me walk with you. Talk to me.”
She stared at the cracked ground, wishing her eyes reflected that dryness. Tears welled up and she blinked, trying to keep them from falling. She failed. A single tear dripped onto her cheek. Cait swept her face over her shoulder. The dirt would smear, but that didn’t matter now.
“Ah, Cait.” Jonas tugged her to him. Sheltered in his arms, she barely knew when he led her to a bench in the shade of the barn. They sank down together, Cait cradled against his side.
“I know you’re discouraged and scared, Cait.” Jonas’s low voice rumbled in his chest. With her head tucked against his shoulder, Cait could feel the vibration.
“You’re afraid your dad will lose the ranch. And the horses. You’re afraid of what will happen. Change is never easy, especially when you are content where you are. But, Cait, trust me; God has something special for you. He loves you more than you can ever imagine. He wants to give you good things, and all He asks is that you give your life to Him. That you believe in your heart that Jesus gave His life for you.”
The words wound around inside Cait, a litany of phrases melding with others she’d heard in the past. Could this be true? Did God simply want her to surrender her life to Him? Could she trust Him with her life? All of it?
“It’s hard.” She wasn’t sure Jonas heard her soft words. “It’s hard to let go.” Her head ached almost as much as her heart. “I don’t even know how.”
“What seems so hard is really pretty easy.” Jonas ran his thumb in circles on her shoulder. “All you have to do is believe in Jesus and ask Him to take over.”
“But, I’ve done so much wrong.” Cait pressed the heel of her hand against her eye. “What if He doesn’t want me?”
“Cait, God knows everything you’ve ever done, or thought. He still loves you and wants you to choose Him. He wouldn’t extend the offer if He didn’t want you. He loved me and forgave me, and look how I used to be.”
Jonas pressed a kiss to her brow. Her brow covered in dirt and dried sweat. Cait thought about how Jonas cared for her. He wasn’t concerned with her imperfections but cared for her anyway. Did God feel the same way? Did He love her despite the dirt in her life: the petty jealousies, the harsh words she’d spoken, all the mean thoughts she’d had? Could she trust God as she’d come to trust Jonas? With her dreams? Her heart? Her life?
Oh, Lord, I’m sorry for all I’ve done wrong. Mostly, I’m sorry for not loving You. Jesus, please take my life. I know it’s not much to offer, but I’m Yours if You want me. Tears ran down her cheeks to drip off her chin. Cait paid no attention but continued to pray and talk with God. With her ear against his chest, she could hear a low rumble as Jonas prayed for her.
The clang of the dinner bell startled Cait. She scrambled to her feet, swiping at her eyes. “I probably look scary enough to keep chickens from laying eggs.”
“No worse than any of us who were out all day.” Jonas squeezed her shoulder. “Let’s head for the pump and wash up. Angus won’t appreciate us holding up his supper.”
The cool water felt good. Cait couldn’t remember a time when she’d felt so clean—inside and out. She batted the dust from her clothing, rinsed her hands again, and walked toward the house with Jonas. In the shade of the house, she stopped him. The look in his warm brown eyes had her fumbling for the words she wanted to say. Her tongue didn’t seem to work.
“You okay?” Jonas cupped her cheek with his palm. Cait wanted to lean into the warmth, but she had things to say and feared she would forget everything.
“Thank you.” She settled for simple. “I may not look different on the outside, but there’s something new on the inside. I don’t think I can explain it to you.” She struggled to find the words.
“You don’t have to say anything, Cait. I’ve been there, too. I remember the day I gave my life to Jesus and the changes in me. There are no words to explain. You’ve helped me a lot today, though. Thank you.”
“I’ve helped you?” Cait frowned. “How have I helped you?”
“You’ve reminded me of that fresh love for God. How wonderful that is.” He stepped closer. “Sometimes in the everyday trials of life, it’s easy to forget how much God loves you, or to take Him for granted.”
He brought his other hand up to cup her face. Cait’s heart pounded. Her lips parted as Jonas leaned down. The intensity in his gaze was more than she could look on. Her eyes drifted shut. The soft brush of his lips against hers deepened to more as he wrapped his arms around her and dragged her against him. For the second time that day, Cait gave her heart away.