Jonas, I prayed, but God didn’t hear me.” Cait trembled in his arms. Jonas leaned his head against hers and tightened his hold. God, give me the right words. You know how I love Cait. She’s so new to knowing You, Lord. Help me encourage her.
“Cait, sweetheart.” Jonas had to stop and consider how the endearment sounded. How many times had he dreamed of holding Cait and talking to her as he had to no other girl. Thank You, God.
“Cait, God loves you, and He did hear you.” He felt her shudder in his arms.
“Then why did this happen? Why do we have to sell Poppy? I know Papa didn’t want to but felt he had no choice.” Cait tilted her head back, her lips soft and full. Kissable.
“I don’t know for sure.” Jonas placed his fingertip across Cait’s lips to halt her questions. “I don’t know why God allows some things to happen, but I know He loves us and will watch over us. He wants us to learn to trust Him. Do you remember last Sunday service when the pastor talked about the scripture in First Timothy that says to not trust in uncertain riches?”
She nodded. “He said to trust in God, who gives richly all things to enjoy. I’ve thought a lot about that verse and how God has given me so much to be thankful for, things I took for granted until now.”
“That’s right.” Jonas kissed her forehead. “Trust Him, Cait. Can you do that?”
“I’ll try. It hurts so much to lose Poppy. She’s more than a horse to me; she’s a friend.” Tears glittered in Cait’s eyes.
“Let me be your friend.” Jonas kissed her temple. “Cait, I know I messed everything up years ago, but I’ve changed. Can you see that?”
She nodded. He snugged her tight against him and kissed her. He ran his fingers over her hair, loving the silken feel and wishing he could take out her braid. “Cait, I promise to never leave you again.”
“Jonas.” Cait pulled away. She stared at him as if she’d never seen him before. He wanted to ask if she felt the same for him that he felt for her but feared her answer. In the past weeks since he’d been here, his feelings for her had deepened to the point he didn’t know what he’d do if she rejected him again. She raised up on tiptoe and pressed her lips to his, stealing his thoughts.
Jonas noted the drop in temperature when Cait shivered in his arms. “I’m sorry.” He rubbed her arms to warm her. “I should let you go inside.”
She started to pull away, but he stopped her. He’d been encouraging Cait to trust God, but he hadn’t been trusting. God had been nudging him to ask Cait to marry him, but Jonas had been holding back out of fear of rejection. He took a deep breath and went down on one knee. Cait’s eyes widened.
“Cait, I came here wanting to win your love. I hurt you years ago, and for that I’m so sorry. I want you to know I love you more than I can ever say. Will you have me? Will you be my wife?” Jonas dug in his pocket for the ring that had belonged to his mother and held it up. The stone glinted in the moonlight.
“Jonas.” Cait touched a fingertip to the ring. Her full lips rounded then parted in a smile. “Yes! Yes, I’ll marry you.”
Jonas slipped the ring on her finger, leaped to his feet, and pulled her close again. “Cait, I love you.”
“I love you, too, Jonas.” Her sweet kiss made it almost impossible for him to say good night.
The next day, Jonas kept his arm around Cait as she watched her favorite horse, herded along with the rest of the stock away from the ranch. He felt tremors running through her as she stayed strong. She would refuse to break down in front of Lawson and his men.
He could also see how hard this was on Angus. He knew he was breaking his little girl’s heart, but there was no other choice. He’d tried again to change Lawson’s mind, but the man wouldn’t budge. The little palomino colt gamboled along beside his mother, oblivious to all the heartache in those left behind.
“Cait, I…” Angus lifted his hat and ran a hand over his hair. “I’m just so sorry. I know how much you loved the mare.”
“It’s okay, Papa. We had to save the ranch. There will be other horses.” The moisture in Cait’s eyes and the hollowness of her cheeks told a different story. Jonas thought he would give anything to keep her from this hurt.
“With all this sadness, I hear there is some good news.” Angus smiled at Jonas. “Caitie told me you proposed to her last night and she said yes. I believe that is worth a bit of celebration.” Angus clapped Jonas on the shoulder. “Come up to the house and we’ll make some plans for the wedding.”
For the rest of the afternoon, Jonas listened to Cait, Angus, and Martha discuss plans for the nuptials. Angus insisted they marry soon and live in the main house.
“Papa, we can wait and build our own house or see where Jonas wants to go.” Cait sent him a shy glance.
“I’d love to stay here and help with the ranch. I have nowhere else I’d rather be.” Jonas squeezed Cait’s hand. She had relaxed some but still hadn’t returned to her normal sassy self. That might take awhile. In the meantime, as they had been talking, he’d been thinking. A seed of an idea had sprouted. He might have a plan to bring the light back into Cait’s eyes.
The days flew by. Cait hadn’t been this busy when she’d been training horses all day, frantic to get done in time for the cavalry buyer to show up. To tell the truth, she would much rather be out working with the horses, sweating and getting dirty, than inside helping Martha sew her wedding dress and plan a party.
She never realized all the details that went into a wedding. The dress. The cleaning. The food. No wonder women only married once. Who would want to do this over again? Not her, that was for sure. The only bright spot in her day was the evening when she and Jonas would go for a walk after supper. The evening cool. Her hand in his. A few sweet kisses. Her cheeks heated as she thought about how much she enjoyed those kisses.
Most of the time she didn’t think much about Poppy. At least, that’s what she’d told her father. She hated for him to feel guilty over something that couldn’t be helped. Although she confided in Jonas that she missed her mare, she tried to make light of the loss. If only Keira were here. She’d always been able to tell her sister anything, no matter how petty or self-serving, and Keira never judged her.
Tonight, she would sit down and write to Keira. Even if she didn’t post the letter, she could put all her feelings and angst into the missive. Maybe doing that would relieve the deep sadness she couldn’t seem to shake.
“Ouch!” Cait stuck her pricked finger in her mouth. God, if You cared, You would deliver me from this sewing. As she thought the prayer, Cait realized how selfish she sounded. She shouldn’t bother God with such trivial matters as her dislike for feminine arts.
“Here, let me have that before you ruin it altogether.” The housekeeper reached for the dress and the tin of beads. “Tomorrow I can finish sewing on these beads and maybe even straighten up a few that seem to have wandered away from the pattern.” She winked, and Cait knew the woman understood this wasn’t Cait’s favorite pastime. Far from it.
She was outside gulping in fresh air before she realized God had answered her prayer. Cait laughed. “You do care. I know You do, God. I can see it in a hundred ways. Thank You.”
Picking up her skirts, Cait almost flew across the yard to the barn. She slowed before she reached the building as the realization that Poppy wouldn’t be there to greet her hit home. This happened every time. Every. Single. Time. She still ran to the barn with the expectation of seeing her mare, and the baby, only to have disappointment crush her.
“You aren’t fooling me.” Jonas startled her as he slipped his arms around her from behind. “I know how much you still miss her. I see your face as you run for the barn and then realize she isn’t here.”
She turned in his arms and mustered a smile. “I still get to see you. That makes me happy.”
“I’m glad I can bring some happiness to you.” The smile on his face didn’t quite reach his eyes. Cait feared she’d hurt him. Maybe he thought she loved a horse more than she loved him.
“You do make me happy, Jonas. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”
“Without me, you wouldn’t have to do all that sewing.” He hugged her.
“That’s true.” She tapped a finger on her chin. “Maybe I should call off the wedding and quit on that dress.”
“Martha would finish it for you, then. She wants to see you married off.” Jonas tugged on her arm. “Come on in the barn. I have something to show you.”
The scent of horses and hay filled the barn. Jonas lit a lantern, and her eyes adjusted to the dim light as they walked past empty stalls. In the far stall at the end, Cait heard a noise. Her heart raced. She glanced at Jonas but couldn’t make out his expression.
They peered together over the door of the stall. A newborn foal stood on wobbly legs nursing from her mother. “I thought you would like to see the newest baby.” Jonas slipped his arm around her waist.
She fought to keep her disappointment from showing. Jonas tried so hard to make her happy. She didn’t want him to know she’d hoped to see Poppy and her baby. The dream slipped away.
“Cait, you in here?” Her father called from the doorway to the barn. “I have letters from Keira. One is for you.” Jonas released her and she hurried to her father. She wanted to read this letter in private. Tonight before bedtime when she’d be alone. To see what Keira said about Jonas. To see if she’d chosen the right man to trust.
Dearest Sister. Cait skimmed the opening news of all that was happening to Keira. She would reread that part later. Reread it many times over the next weeks.
Cait, I can’t tell you how sorry I am that Jonas and I deceived you.
Cait’s pulse sped up. They both deceived her?
Jonas was so crazy about you, but you thought he should like me. He wanted to try to make you jealous and came to me to ask for my help. I should have realized you would rather see me happy at the cost of your own happiness. When I realized our ruse was not working, and that Stuart wanted me to marry him, I told Jonas we couldn’t continue the deception…
… I know you thought I was crying because I wanted Jonas, but that isn’t the truth. I was crying because we had deceived you, and I gave my word I wouldn’t tell. I heard from Jonas a few months ago. He gave me permission to tell you this if you asked….
Cait finished reading. She closed her eyes and prayed for understanding, for the bitter hurt to be gone. Sweet peace flowed over her. Now she understood why Keira kept saying she was sorry. Cait had misjudged Jonas. He hadn’t hurt her sister. Keira didn’t marry Stuart on the rebound. All along Jonas cared only for Cait. He may have tried to win her the wrong way, but she wasn’t an easy person to win.
She let the letter flutter to the floor and raced from the house. She had to see Jonas. To let him know she understood. To tell him she would love him forever.
He didn’t answer his door, but the heavy wood swung inward. Cait lifted the lantern she’d grabbed and peered into the room. Empty. “Jonas?” She stepped inside. No Jonas. No clothes. Nothing. He’d left her the same way he left her sister.