Taking control of your personal safety and security is the best self-reliance strategy you can follow to avoid becoming a victim of crime or a violent attack. Self-defense training helps you identify potential threats to your personal safety. Any threat that can be identified can be avoided. This chapter will help you take responsibility for your own self defense.
When it comes to being able to defend yourself, one of the best things you can do is to find a self-defense school with a qualified instructor who can teach you the skills you need to survive in a variety of attack situations. However, if you’re just getting started in the world of self-defense, finding the right school, style, and instructor can be difficult. Locating a martial arts school really isn’t the problem, these days there’s one on almost every block. The problem is finding an instructor who understands real-world self defense. Remember, your goal is stop an attacker, not to learn a bunch of fancy martial arts moves and forms.
So what can you do? Well, you’re going to have to do some research. To start your search, ask a police officer which school he or she would recommend. Police training is all about how to deal with people who have the potential to attack, so their training is usually focused on practical defensive skills that are meant to immediately neutralize the attacker. Chances are a cop will be able to point you in the right direction of a good instructor.
Here are some key questions to ask of any self-defense school you consider:
As you research schools and instructors, you’ll hear a lot of different self-defense terms thrown around. To help you make the best decisions regarding your instruction, I’m going to address some common self-defense misconceptions.
Misconception: Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) training prepares you for real-world self defense.
Reality: MMA fighting is not real-world self-defense. Anyone who wants to argue that point has probably never been in a real-world fight. Yes, some MMA techniques might overlap, but the two styles of fighting are radically different for two main reasons.
First, while MMA might be a little closer to the real world than tournament sparring, it’s still a very controlled fight with rules governing what you can and can’t do. The last time I checked, no one was entering the ring with the mindset of murdering his opponent. Second, what might work in an MMA fight probably won’t translate to the streets. In real life there are no rules; the last thing you want to do when being violently attacked is stay in place and trade blows or, even worse, end up on the ground.
Misconception: Street fighting schools offer real-world fighting experience.
Reality: Be wary of any school that promotes itself as an extreme street-fighting school. In most cases, these schools are filled with guys more interested in looking tough than knowing how to immediately stop an attack. Remember, a real-life attack is not a situation that you want to remain in and trade blows. If that’s what the school is teaching, it’s not teaching you to defend yourself.
Misconception: A black belt will increase your survival skills and the ability to defend yourself
Reality: Black belts have very little to do with your ability to defend yourself. I have nothing against martial arts as a sport; in fact, I myself have been involved in the sporting side of martial arts since I was a kid. I also enrolled my daughter in tae kwon do when she was five because I think it’s a good way to introduce self-defense skills to a child. It also helps with self-confidence, which is a key part of staying safe. That being said, tournament fighting does nothing to prepare you for a real-life attack. I’ve been in street fights, and I’ve fought in tournaments—they are two entirely different beasts.
If your goal is learning how to defend yourself, look for a school whose main goal is teaching real-life self-defense skills, not handing out colored belts.
Misconception: Real-life fights look just like Hollywood movie fights.
Reality: Martial arts films don’t depict anything close to reality. I’m a huge Bruce Lee fan; I’ve watched his movies more times than I can count, and I read pretty much anything I can find on him. In real life, Lee’s actual fighting philosophy and style were completely different from what he portrayed on the screen. While his on-screen fights tended to last for several minutes and were filled with all sorts of spectacular looking kicks and fancy moves, Lee’s own style of fighting, which he dubbed “Jeet Kune Do,” emphasized minimal movements with maximum effect and extreme speed. His style dealt with the unpredictability of real-life fighting and emphasized the importance of intercepting incoming attacks and ending the fight as soon as possible. Simply put, it taught people to destroy the attacker before the attacker has the time or opportunity to destroy them. This is always the number-one goal when being attacked.
When it comes to self-defense, I’m a firm believer in your right to carry a firearm. In my opinion, carrying a firearm levels the playing field and is probably one of the best things you can do to ensure your safety—right behind your situational awareness and self-defense training.
A firearm is always my number-one choice when it comes to choosing a defensive weapon. That being said, carrying one is becoming a legal nightmare that requires an in-depth knowledge of local, federal, and even international laws. From cities implementing gun-free zones (which should always be avoided at all costs) to the federal government’s never-ending assault on the second amendment, the list of places where you can legally carry a firearm is dwindling by the day.
I don’t know about you but to me, the thought of leaving the house without carrying a defensive weapon is starting to seem more and more like a game of Russian roulette. If you are heading into an area where carrying a firearm is not an option, I recommend finding a legal alternative that can be used as an extra layer of protection.
From Tasers and pepper spray to tactical pens and walking sticks, there are legal weapons you can carry that will make an attacker sorry he ever met you. The main idea when choosing one of these weapons is to find something that you can comfortably carry with you at all times that can be used in conjunction with your self-defense training. A weapon by itself is not enough. You also must have self-defense knowledge and training. Some alternative weapons that can be carried just about anywhere are
If you are forced to use self-defense techniques against an attacker, understand that you may have to defend your actions. If you’re smart, you hopefully took every chance you had to escape and avoid as much physical contact as possible. In a self-defense situation, especially one where you severely injure or kill your attacker, there is a good chance you may be arrested. If this happens, you had better be able to show that you had no other options.
Unfortunately, we live in a society that gives criminals far too many rights. For instance, the moment someone breaks into your home, I believe that person has shown deadly intent; sadly, a lot of politicians don’t always agree with that assessment. In some areas of the country, people have actually been prosecuted for firing first and asking questions later. Be aware that you are going to have to defend your actions, so make sure you know they are justified.
It’s sad that we have to teach our kids about the evils of the world. But ignoring the reality of the situation and pretending that these evils don’t exist does nothing to prepare your child to face the countless number of very real threats that are out there.
It’s your duty as a parent to train your kids how to deal with threatening situations. If you don’t teach them differently, most children will blindly obey adults even in the face of immediate danger.
We all want nice kids, but some parents make the mistake of overdoing it to the point that some kids are physically afraid to say no to an adult. Some adults are afraid to say no, so it’s really not surprising that we have so many weak children in this country. You must make sure your children know that they have the power to say no, especially if they feel scared, threatened, or as if they are in danger.
Some kids, unless told otherwise, will automatically see every adult as an authority figure. That’s why it’s extremely important to teach them that they don’t have to obey adults who are asking them to do something that doesn’t seem right.
It’s extremely important to let your children know that they have the right to hurt anyone who is trying to harm them. Our public school systems, in a misguided attempt to stop bullying, continually drill the “it’s never alright to put your hands on someone else” message into every student’s head.
While children should be taught that fighting is always a last resort, they should never be taught to sit there and take it. If someone is causing them physical pain or attempting to hurt them, there is always a legitimate reason to fight back. I suggest letting them know they have your approval if they have no other option, and that you will always fight to support them.
I’m sure at some point you’ve probably witnessed your child have a total meltdown. I’m sure you know exactly what I’m talking about: the kind of meltdown where every eye in the store turns toward you because your child is shrieking at the top of his lungs, flailing around like a crazed lunatic.
While this behavior is less than desirable in a store full of people, this is exactly what your child should be taught to do when confronted by an adult attacker. The more attention your child draws to his situation, the more likely he is to come out unharmed. Teach your child to
One of the most effective ways to teach your children the skills they need to stay safe is to role-play a variety of dangerous situations with them. You don’t have to give them the reasons people do bad things, but you should let them know what situations are right, what things are wrong, and how to react to them. By role-playing a variety of situations, you will help them instinctively act without anxiety if they’re ever put in a dangerous situation.
Show your kids what kinds of things to look out for and teach them to notice what people are doing.
I think every kid should be enrolled in some type of self-defense course. While I advise adults to be a little more selective when looking for an instructor, when it comes to small children most martial arts schools are a good start.
Just make sure the school spends a portion of its time teaching self-defense measures. For adults who don’t know what I’m talking about, there’s a big difference between martial arts as a sport and the use of martial arts to defend yourself from an attacker.