16. Avoiding and Surviving a Sexual Assault

Sexual assaults are like all crimes in the fact that the perpetrator is looking for vulnerable, easy targets. Unfortunately, in order not to offend anyone’s moral or political beliefs, much of the information given to young girls these days has become highly sanitized. This, in my opinion, has created an environment where many young girls have become easy targets for the sickos who commit these types of crimes.

While everyone agrees it’s far better to avoid a sexual assault than to have to survive one, political correctness seems to have gotten in the way of helping people avoid dangerous situations. Today young women, and even young men to some degree, are told that their actions don’t have consequences. Unfortunately, in today’s society even mentioning the fact that someone’s actions have consequences can sometimes be misunderstood.

In no way would I ever suggest any victim of sexual assault was “asking for it.” In my opinion, the people who say those kinds of things are only one step above the scumbags who commit these types of crimes. But ignoring the fact that certain risky behaviors can often make a person much more likely to be attacked would be doing them a huge disservice.

Just like any crime, there are a number of things that can do to prevent an attack, but until people can seriously discuss the reality of the situation many people are going to be needlessly harmed because of political correctness.

This section will focus on how you can limit your risk and avoid being attacked, as well as offer instructions on how to fight off an attack.

The decisions you make about where you go, what you do, and who you are with greatly determine your likelihood of being assaulted. Avoiding any type of crime, including sexual assault, means you have to be smart, alert, and aware at all times. Remember, criminals don’t care about political correctness; they care about finding easy targets. There are things you can do to prevent becoming another statistic.

AVOID DANGEROUS HIGH-RISK SITUATIONS

Be Smart About Being Alone

Even women who take precautions against the most common types of sexual assault, which are assaults committed by someone the victim knows, can still find themselves in a vulnerable situation. Be smart about what you’re doing and stay aware of your surroundings, especially when you’re alone in public.

• Be aware of your surroundings and know when to trust your gut.
• If you feel uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Most stores, businesses, and college campuses have security guards who can escort you to your vehicle.
• Carrying a concealed firearm can level the playing field. I advise finding a qualified instructor who can teach you how to use one and can show you how to fight back during an attack.
• Study the chapters on situational awareness (chapter twelve) and surviving a violent attack (chapter fifteen). The advice in those chapters will help protect you from sexual assaults as well.

Be Smart During Nights Out

Any party scene with excessive drinking is a high-risk situation for sexual assault. Sexual predators know when women are in a vulnerable position and will take advantage of situations where their guard may be down because of drinking or other risky behaviors.

College campuses, nightclubs and bars, house parties, and any event where people are engaging in risky behaviors are all places where you need to be on guard. While these locations aren’t dangerous in and of themselves, the behavior that takes place there—especially drinking to the point of blacking out—puts you at risk. While I advise staying away from these types of parties where the main purpose seems to be binge drinking and sex, if you do decide to go out, be smart about how you party.

• Set limits on the amount of alcohol you consume. You probably already know how many drinks it takes to get you drunk. Keep that number in mind when you go out and stay well below it so you are fully in control of your thoughts and actions at all times.
• Always have a designated sober person with you who can be the eyes and ears of your group. In a fog of alcohol you may not notice the sicko across the room who has been stalking you all night, but a sober friend can keep you safe and stay on the lookout for bad situations.
• Be wary of any situation that involves binge drinking or people who engage in heavy drinking, drug use, and other risky behaviors. Even the friendliest-seeming people can completely change when engaging in heavy drinking or drug use.
• Never leave your beverage unattended or accept any drink from an open container. The “date-rape” drug is a real phenomenon.

BE CAUTIOUS WHEN DATING

Unfortunately, most women are often sexually assaulted by someone they know and trust. This is especially true for people who have just started dating someone new. The excitement of a new relationship can cause you to drop your guard, so be wary of allowing your feelings to get in the way of sound judgment.

• Avoid being alone or secluded at the beginning of any relationship.
• Try to go on double or group dates when getting to know someone.
• Don’t let your feelings blind you. Listen to friends and family who might be trying to warn you about your relationship.
• Don’t ever go to his place or invite him into yours if you live alone. This might sound a little crude, but unless you’re planning on having sex there’s never a good reason to go to someone’s home, especially after a night out. If you don’t want to have sex, don’t go to his house or bring him into yours simply for your own safety. If it’s a new relationship, you honestly don’t know him well enough to guarantee that he will honor your “no” when you are all alone. Don’t make yourself vulnerable.

DON’T LET ANGER CAUSE YOU TO DROP YOUR GUARD

All too often people make the mistake of confronting someone who has been making inappropriate comments, sexual advances, or exhibiting crude behaviors. Many women feel empowered by confronting this type of behavior, but this is a huge mistake that can escalate the situation and cause an already unstable person to do something violent. Never confront someone who has acted inappropriately without having others around. You’re not going to teach any lessons by being angry and confrontational about the behavior. If someone’s exhibiting behavior that you consider threatening, stay as far away as possible and report the person to the appropriate authorities (school administrators, your HR department, law enforcement, etc.)

PROTECTING YOURSELF WHEN CONFRONTED WITH AN ATTACK

Even those who take every possible precaution can still find themselves in harm’s way. No matter what we do, there are still going to be sick people in this world that cannot be stopped by changing our behaviors.

If you find yourself in a situation where someone is physically threatening you, now is not the time to play nice. Be sure to follow the instructions throughout part three of this book to give yourself as many advantages as possible when faced with a threat.

Keep these principles in mind:

• Remember your first objective is trying to escape the situation; if you’re unable to do that, you are going to have to fight.
• In a life-or-death situation, all rules go out the window. Use everything at your disposal to stop your attacker. Eye gouging, biting, and groin attacks are all fair game when trying to defend your life.
• If you have a weapon, use it; if not, use anything within your reach against the attacker. Just remember every move you make should be done with as much force as you can muster, and with the thought that your life depends on how hard you fight back.
• Don’t stop until the attacker is incapacitated or you have made your escape.