Alright, don’t get too excited about retirement just yet. First we need to get you there in one piece and with most of your organs in good working order. This section covers a range of diet and exercise tips that you may decide to ignore, but for what it’s worth, I’ll be taking some of my own advice and getting started on a long-procrastinated fitness regimen. Other things you could ignore include: the dirty dishes in your sink, the scum in your bathtub, and the fine patina of apathy on your floors. But if you feel like spending a bunch of time and energy cleaning your house, I’ll explain how to maintain it—a trick you should probably master before attempting a large-scale home improvement project, which I’ll also touch on. (Renovating the basement as a metaphor for renovating your life!) And finally, I will drop some knowledge with regard to being selfish—without being an asshole or an insufferable prick—on your way to winning at life.