Q: What do recovering addicts, raw foodies, and born-again Christians have in common?
A: They’re always telling you how great they feel!
Whether holding court at dinner parties or sidling up a little too close to you on the city bus, these Chatty Cathys want you to know their lives are infinitely better now that they’ve kicked smack, taken up gazpacho, and welcomed Jesus into their hearts. They practically glow from within. You kind of want to kick them in the shins, but you know what? They’re winning. Those newly capped teeth, regular bowel movements, and beatific grins could be YOU.
Perhaps that came out wrong.
What I’m saying is, their shit doesn’t have to be the same as your shit, but the principle remains the same: Out with annoy, in comes joy. Even if you don’t agree with these folks’ life choices, believe them when they tell you how much better everything is now that they’ve gotten their shit together.
For a long time, I made the mistake of flat-out not trusting people (in my case: freelancers, including my husband) who told me it was possible not only to live a different kind of life, but to thrive while doing it. I was sure that even though I was unhappy in my current existence, throwing a wrench in it would only make things worse. I was extremely risk-averse, and those of you who filled out my survey are too.
I got responses like these:
I’m stressed and burned out at work and cannot get a break/vacation/time off. I hate everything about it and it makes me hate life, but I cannot afford to risk leaving.
I want to break up with my current job but have been with it a long time and don’t have a sweet little thing on the side to leave it for.
I’ve been wanting to leave my job for eleven years.
Well, thanks in part to the Power of Negative Thinking, one day my job situation—which looked an awful lot like each of these examples—became untenable, and something had to give. The annoy so outweighed the joy that I had to take action.
And on the other end, the only person I wanted to kick in the shins was me—FOR NOT GETTING MY SHIT TOGETHER SOONER.
Now tell me, is your annoy off the charts? Is not being broke, fat, and messy (or stuck in a dead-end job, or anxious all the time, or constantly out of toilet paper) a goal you can get on board with?
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I don’t know your life. I can’t set the goal(s) for you. But you can achieve them, one small, manageable chunk at a time. Keys, phone, wallet.
And if you’re still tempted to keep spinning your wheels in a job or relationship or life you hate, well, consider me Cher to your Nicolas Cage, when I say, “Snap out of it!”
Believe me, the other side is totally worth it. Come on over. You know you want to.