FROM: Simpson Stevens III (simpy@ThoughtCollective.agency)
TO: The Gang (all@ThoughtCollective.agency)
RE: All Hands on Deck! Cancel your weekend plans…amazing opportunity
DATE: 1/21/21
Gang. Gang…GANG!!!!
Simpy here.
Just got off the phone with…you’ll never guess, so I’ll just tell you. The president. The actual, motherfucking PRESIDENT of these MOTHERFUCKING UNITED STATES!!!
And he wants to work with us!
Now, before anyone starts getting all big-pants politics with me, just know that I was most definitely “WITH HER” back in 2016 (that feels like a long time ago, doesn’t it?) and I voted for Obama both in 2008 and 2012 (before a lot of you were even out of diapers) so my political bona fides don’t need any clarifications.
Look, I know that the last four years were weird. I get it. I’m not a monster. We lost a lot of good creatives (and friends) who had to go back home when they lost their visas. We tried like hell to keep ’em, but you can’t fight city hall, right? We had to close our Chicago and LA offices after the Vegan bombings (you can thank the opposition for that): how can we keep our country safe if our own people are busy attacking us? (HINT: this brief will help.) And I know that we were all sad to see our offices in Shanghai, London, Paris, Amsterdam, Mumbai, Rome, São Paulo, Mexico City, Toronto, Vancouver, and Tokyo shut.
But we did get to open new spaces in Moscow, Putingrad, and West Virginia. Closing doors, opening windows and all that.
So I do get it. It’s been tough. We’ve had some downs.
But now we’ve got a big up. A huge up. From way up in the highest place we can imagine.
The.
White.
House.
This is all super-secret, so don’t go forwarding this brief to any of your personal email accounts (haha…you can get into a lot of trouble with that, just ask “her,” (that is, if you can find her (joking, joking.))
I know some of you will have reservations working on a brief from this administration. I get it. But remember that we are in the business of business, not politics. I’m sure a lot of you don’t like to drive (Keith!), but that didn’t stop us from kicking ass on the KleanOil brief. Some of you may be vegetarians (I’m talking to you, Laura), but we still killed it for the Pork Belly Council. And Ajaz, I know you don’t drink, but you CRUSHED it on the Berry-Boppers Alco-Pop viral video project.
My point is that we can put our personal politics aside and come together to do great things and create huge, award-winning ideas. That’s what advertising is all about, kids. And we’ve been called to do some epic work for maybe the most revolutionary organization to come about in our country. I really think (no, I know) that this project and the work we make has the potential to change the world. Isn’t that why we got into this amazing business in the first place?
So look at the brief. Mull it over. Taste it. Feel it.
And let’s get going bright and early tomorrow: 10 a.m. All hands. All hearts. All minds. All one.
Let’s make advertising great again (sorry, I couldn’t resist).
Cheers,
Simpy
Simpson Stevens III
Chief Creative Officer, The Thought Collective
NYC // MOSCOW // PUTINGRAD // CHARLESTON
* * *
THOUGHT COLLECTIVE CREATIVE BRIEF
CLIENT: Republican Security Service
DATE: 1/21/21
JOB NO: 61679
CONFIDENTIAL
BACKGROUND
By the beginning of 2019, it was clear that the upcoming presidential election was going to be brutal. Voter fraud, violent demonstrations, intimidation at the polls, and massive demonstrations, long the problem of developing countries, threatened to take our country down. To combat this, the President created the Republican Security Service, a unique public-private partnership between the Department of Homeland Security, local law enforcement, concerned citizens, and private military companies. The RSS kept the peace, brought stability and safety to the American people, and, most importantly, ensured a smooth election. Consumers recognized the value of the RSS and even gave them a charming nickname—Goldshirts, for the large gold “Trump/MAGA” logos on their uniforms—but worried about their continued presence post-election. Thus, the organization’s role and future is uncertain.
WHAT SHOULD THE ADVERTISING DO?
We need to simultaneously celebrate the achievements of the Goldshirts and inspire people to join up. The Goldshirts did a lot of good in the last year. It’s time people understood exactly what they stand for and what to expect in the future.
WHO ARE WE TALKING TO?
The American people
WHAT SHOULD THE ADVERTISING SAY?
Goldshirts help make America safe again because they have a Heart of Gold.®
WHY SHOULD I BELIEVE THIS?
The world is full of dangerous dissent and violence. Four years of increasing protests and attacks on the Homeland prove that the administration was doing something right—after all, it’s always darkest before the dawn. The Goldshirts helped maintain order and safety during the most contested election in the history of our Republic. They are clearly here for the consumer.
WHAT IS OUR TONE OF VOICE?
Think more Rico from Starship Troopers and less “Tomorrow Belongs to Me” from Cabaret. Fun, strong, proud, but with a wink.
WHERE WILL OUR MESSAGE LIVE?
This is going to be a full-on blitz: we’ll need social media assets, chat-bots, digital, interactive, radio…you name it. But for now, let’s focus on a big splashy TV spot to kick the campaign off!
MANDATORIES
Client loves the Goldshirt uniform and feels it really reflects the brand’s core values. There’s a lot of excitement to see how the color can be expanded throughout the creative.
Let’s lean into the Goldshirt moniker and own it: think Avis’ “We’re number two. We try harder” or Levy’s “You don’t have to be Jewish to love Levy’s Rye.”
HEART OF GOLD - 90S TV SPOT
CLIENT: REPUBLICAN SECURITY SERVICE
AGENCY: THE THOUGHT COLLECTIVE
INT. KITCHEN - DAY
A middle-aged MAN and WOMAN, dressed in robes, sit at a dining table, covered in newspapers and mail. They speak to camera.
MAN
Everything is so dangerous these days.
WOMAN
Our very way of life is threatened.
MAN
You can’t know who to trust.
WOMAN
That’s why we joined the Goldshirts!
MAN and WOMAN remove their robes, revealing sparkling gold polo shirts and golf pants. The icon on the shirt is a dramatic silhouette of Trump.
MAN
And you should, too.
ANNOUNCER (O.S.)
There’s finally a way to show the world you have a heart of gold. Join the Goldshirts and make America safe again.
EXT. POLLING PLACE - DAY
A line of GOLDSHIRTS block the entrance.
ANNOUNCER (O.S.)
Safe from things like voter fraud.
EXT. PARK - DAY
A large crowd of PROTESTORS wave signs and chant.
ANNOUNCER (O.S)
Safe from the madness of the mob.
GOLDSHIRTS, on Segways and brandishing bright gold nightsticks, ride into the crowd.
EXT. STREET - EVENING
The street is busy. Two YOUNG BLACK MEN walk along minding their own business.
ANNOUNCER (O.S.)
Safe from the crime that infects our cities.
Fifteen GOLDSHIRTS swarm and surround them.
INT. CLASSROOM
A GIRL stands at the front of the room, reciting from memory.
GIRL
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal. That they are endowed by…
GOLDSHIRTS crash through the windows and throw a gold-colored sack over her head.
ANNOUNCER (O.S.)
Safe from twisted ideologies.
They drag her out of the class.
EXT. PLANNED PARENTHOOD - DAY
A COUPLE walks up to the door.
ANNOUNCER (O.S.)
Safe from dangerous, dehumanizing quackery.
A brilliant gold explosion envelops the building.
INT. LIBRARY
STUDENTS scan the stacks of science journals.
ANNOUNCER(O.S.)
Safe from liberal pseudoscience.
The stacks burst into bright yellow flames and GOLDSHIRTS run away, cheering.
INT. BATHROOM STALL
A WOMAN sits on the stall, playing solitaire on her phone.
ANNOUNCER (O.S.)
Safe from perverts.
The door bursts open. GOLDSHIRTS rush in.
INT. SUPREME COURT
Court is in session. The JUSTICES listen to an argument.
ANNOUNCER (O.S.)
And safe from the most dangerous thing - the government itself.
Eight GOLDSHIRTS appear suddenly behind the JUSTICES and strangle them with sparkling gold garroting wire.
INT. KITCHEN
MAN and WOMAN are polishing their gold nightsticks.
MAN
I’ve got a heart of gold.
WOMAN
I’ve got a heart of gold.
Their SON walks in, dressed in a gold boy scout uniform.
BOY
I wanted to make childhood great again. That’s why I joined the Gold Scouts.
They laugh.
MAN
We’ve all got hearts of gold.
WOMAN points her nightstick directly at the camera.
WOMAN
Do you?
ANNOUNCER (O.S)
Do good. Do gold. Join the Goldshirts today!