Val knew that regrets were useless. But when you were desperate, you couldn’t help feeling useless things.
As she slid into her seat on the bus, its engine idling as it waited to be filled with passengers, Val regretted that she didn’t bother learning to drive. If she did, her mom wouldn’t have sold her second-hand Toyota years ago. After her mom had sworn off city driving, she offered the car to Val, who refused it, thinking how it was more convenient to hitch rides with friends and dates. If Val knew how to drive, she would get to Tagaytay much faster.
The second regret was much more intense, stabbing at her heart with sharp longing.
After Val reconciled with Dessa and Jake over the romantic dinner, whatever familiarity and ease she had felt with EJ was replaced with awkwardness. Their mission—the reason for their close partnership—was over, along with the things had happened between them that felt like more than friendship.
Val felt her cheeks grow warm as she remembered EJ demanding to know if she still loved Jake. It felt as if the romantic mood they had worked so hard to create had backfired on them. She recalled EJ’s gruff voice, their chests pressed together, the feeling of his warm and solid arms around her. It felt like he didn’t want to let her go, and she didn’t want him to, either.
That night, he sent her messages, asking how she was, if she wanted to get coffee, if she could help him plan a possible menu for a client. And what did she do? She ignored him. She already learned her lesson that it didn’t pay to mess with a friend’s boyfriend. She didn’t want to betray Kat.
But there was no one to betray, after all—only herself. For far too long, she denied that she was attracted to EJ. When did it begin? During his makeover? Maybe even before, when he remembered that orange soda was her favorite drink? Or maybe much after, when she saw him teasing Kat? It really didn’t matter.
Again, Val punched his number, and again came the canned operator’s sing-song voice, “All circuits are busy now. Please try your call later.”
Val vowed that this time, there would be no regrets. She was going after him. Her eyes were on the prize. She might lose. She might win. Either way, there would be no regrets because she was taking the risk.