The memory of Jace standing in the hallway, wounded, burned Erika’s retinas. By the time the elevator doors opened again, there’d be no erasing the image. When she lay awake nights at her family’s cabin in the lower forty-eight, it’d be him she’d think about, miss, want, need. Not have. Not ever have again.
Her lungs seized at the reality of leaving Jace behind forever and even the crisp afternoon air couldn’t bring reprieve fast enough. Tears burned the backs of her eyes.
Every step leading her away from him was like walking through quicksand. She clutched at her throat as precious oxygen flooded her chest and instantly realized something was wrong. Something was missing.
Frantic, Erika felt around for her necklace. The last gift she’d received from her mother was gone.
The weight of that thought sat heavy on her chest. The air thinned and the city closed in around her. There were too many freakin’ people flooding the streets. With her recent memories patchy, she couldn’t be sure if she’d left the keepsake at home or lost it. Nope. She couldn’t have forgotten it. She never took it off, not even to shower.
Maybe it had come loose when she was in the clutches of one of her episodes? The clasp could’ve broken. When was the last time she remembered having it on? Jace’s place?
Walking fifteen blocks should’ve cleared her head. Instead, she’d had to stop twice to vomit. Sick and alone, she was almost home when the answer came to her. She’d been wearing the locket that morning at Jace’s when they’d had sex. He’d asked about it.
Desperation overwhelmed her as she unlocked the door to her apartment and stepped inside. Was there a way to sneak inside his place and take it back? She knew the answer even before she’d finished the thought. No.
First she’d lost Jace, and now her necklace. The only two things that mattered to her were gone in a flash. And wasn’t life like that? The most ridiculous fucking curveballs always came at the worst possible time.
After a quick check of her apartment just to be sure she remembered correctly, Erika was certain her necklace had to be at Jace’s. He knew where she lived, and just in case he showed up trying to convince her to stay—or put a bullet between her eyes—she needed to be gone.
Time to hit the lower forty-eight.
And then what?
Phone in her failure and arrange for a pickup? Erika thought about it. Her boss had given her an order, which she’d failed to carry out. It wasn’t like she could go back to Jace’s and finish the job, either. If she’d blown her cover, and most likely she had, he’d be long gone by now. At the very least he’d be watching for her, ready. Without the element of surprise on her side, he’d be a tough target to take down even if her body cooperated this time and managed to pull the trigger, which she doubted.
No easy answers there. Even the remote thought of seeing him again sent a trill of excitement skittering across her nerves.
Worse yet was the sickening feeling she’d let Murdock down. He hadn’t once failed her or her father.
Murdock had ensured her father had been laid to rest a hero, attending to every last detail. Murdock had been a pallbearer. And, Murdock had presented the American flag to her father’s only remaining family—Erika.
Now that she had information from Jace’s hard drive, she would find out what he’d gotten himself into. Her mentor deserved no less from her.
Her cell buzzed. She checked the screen. Jace.
Her heart pounded against her rib cage. Logic said he’d figured her out. There was a reason he was the best and it wasn’t because he was stupid, or careless. What kind of game was he playing?
Even though Erika didn’t doubt her skills, she had no idea what she’d said or done during one of her blackouts. It was highly possible Jace’s brokenhearted facade was just that, an act. He might be calling to arrange to meet with her so he could eliminate her. Everything he’d said and done in that hallway could’ve been calculated actions meant to test her. Yes, that had to be it. It was the only explanation that made any sense. The notion he could have real feelings for her was her brain playing tricks on her. How could he? Relationships were based on honesty. Everything she’d told him so far had been a lie, except the part about wanting to be with him.
The phone buzzed again. No doubt Jace was getting impatient. She palmed it, considered chucking it against the wall for a second, but pressed it to her chest instead.
Gathering her few belongings didn’t take long. She traveled light. There were a few clothing items she couldn’t live without, plus a stash of cash and passports she kept in a loose floorboard underneath the fridge.
After wiping the place down for prints, she closed then locked the door behind her.
If Jace were trying to keep up the concerned-boyfriend act, then he was most likely back at his place. She could set up camp across the street to watch him, or do what she did best…disappear and figure out what was on that drive.
Her work phone buzzed, the satellite cell she always carried with her. Murdock. He’d want confirmation of Jace’s death.
She needed to wrap her mind around exactly what had happened to her before she reported in.
Erika took a deep breath, and for the first time in her life, was uncertain what to do next.
Her boss would understand if she had to be out of pocket, so she ignored the call and phoned Charlie, her pilot friend.
Another text came through on her personal cell, the one Jace knew about. It had to be him. He was the only one who knew the number despite having multiple fake contacts on her list just in case he got curious.
She ignored it, pulling a cigarette from her purse instead as she stepped out of her building. Deciding her next step was difficult enough without his voice in her ear. She already had to force every step of forward progress—progress that meant moving farther away from Jace.
An overwhelming part of her wanted to do just the opposite, to stick around.
If only there was some way she knew she could trust him. Maybe she could get her necklace back. Erika almost laughed out loud. The two of them lived in worlds where appearance was all smoke and mirrors. It was his job to slip in and out of roles, as it was hers, and he was a master.
The migraines were clouding her judgment, as were her feelings for Jace.
There’d never been a time when Erika had hesitated. Yet another reason she shouldn’t make a rash judgment. She knew full well that getting her necklace back wasn’t the only reason she wanted to see Jace again.
Scanning the area, she realized it must be noon. The crush of the lunchtime crowd filled the streets. Her hand shook as she tried to light her cigarette, an aftereffect from the migraine, causing her to lose her grip on the lighter, sending it tumbling onto the sidewalk. She bent over to pick it up before someone stepped on it or accidently kicked it.
Rising, she caught a glimpse of a man out of her peripheral vision. She recognized the assassin from the job she’d done in Berlin.
In fact, Berlin seemed to be the guy’s territory, but that would make him Agency. What the hell was he doing here?
His gaze fixed on her apartment as he crossed the street. His clothes, black slacks and a black button-down shirt, helped him blend in with the workday crowd. He’d stood out to Erika the second he’d crossed her vision for his purposeful stride and the fact his head was tilted up when everyone else’s was angled toward the pavement.
But who’d sent him? Her first thought was Jace, but that didn’t make any sense. If Jace had wanted to kill her, he’d had half a dozen opportunities in the past twenty-four hours alone. Why keep her alive just to send a hit man? Unless…
Maybe he wasn’t sure about her before? Maybe he no longer needed her after his mystery meeting? Maybe he knew exactly who she was and needed to send someone else to clean up his mess?
Or, was she making this too complicated?
What if the guy worked for someone else? What if Jace was hiding because he’d found something that could get him killed? What if he was still the good guy?
It was possible, right? That whatever was on that hard drive could get them both killed. There was another possibility she had to consider. If the information threatened national security, then Murdock wouldn’t be the only one looking for it. Maybe by turning it over to Sanctuary Jace would be writing his own death warrant and that was why he’d fled.
She thought about her phone. Had he been trying to warn her?
There were risks with this job. The fact had been punctuated by her father’s death. Erika had signed on to the agency with her eyes wide open, just as every other sworn officer. But what if the information Jace found had kicked off a chain of events that led to nothing good? She’d had to consider that on assignments before. What to share and what to suppress was always the question.
She needed a couple of days to get her head straight and sort through her options. Until then, she didn’t plan to contact anyone. Besides, her brain was already throbbing.
The satellite phone rang again. She ignored it.
There were more pressing problems. Berlin had just spotted her.
She needed to deal with him and get the hell out of the country, because all she could think about was Jace’s expression as those damn elevator doors closed.