Jade climbed another rung of the ladder and stretched on her tiptoes to cover a purple smudge on the ceiling. Her paintbrush just reached. She swiped over the mistake with white paint and stepped down to survey the room. The space glowed. The colors, lighting, the open feel and size of the store—everything was exactly as she’d envisioned it.
Yesterday had gone better than she could have hoped. Bryan had been the definition of patience as he led her around the perimeter of the park, pointing out different species of trees and explaining why they were important. She’d even stood with him at the blue path entrance again, and this time she didn’t feel as panicky.
She wished she could repay him somehow. The printout of trees must have taken hours to put together. And spending time outside with him was helping her relax. She might even be able to attempt driving out of town soon. Zooming past trees in her car didn’t seem as threatening as it had been when she first arrived.
Jade tapped the lid back on the paint can and wiped her hands on a paper towel. The electrician she hired had installed recessed lighting and additional electric outlets behind the counter and in the back workspace. The display tables were set to arrive tomorrow, but her big purchases—the screen-printing press, T-shirt printer and the engraver—wouldn’t be here until next week. She’d taken care of the remaining business paperwork, including following up on her city business license, getting her state business number and filling out the forms for the federal government.
With her hands against her lower back, she stretched, noticing movement outside.
Two women stopped in front of the window. Libby waved and gestured to the door. A burst of happiness warmed Jade’s heart seeing Libby’s smiling face. She ushered them inside.
“We brought you dinner.” Libby trailed a petite older woman with bleached blond hair and kind, yet sharp, blue eyes. “This is Aunt Sally.”
“Well, look at that. You’re fun size, like me.” Sally’s bright pink lips kicked into a grin.
Jade chuckled. They were about the same height and build.
Sally continued. “It’s good to finally meet you. Jules Reichert told me you were opening a T-shirt shop here. I’d love to have new shirts made up to sell at the restaurant. Our old ones finally sold out, but I should have tossed them. They had big, bubble letters like in the eighties. Tacky.”
“I’d be happy to sketch designs for you.” Jade closed the door behind them. Aunt Sally was her type of lady. Very Vegas-like with glittery, dangly fish-shaped earrings, heavy mascara, tight jeans and a royal blue sweatshirt with Lake Endwell Wildcats in white lettering.
Sally set a large paper bag on the floor. “We saw you working in here earlier and figured you could use some food. You can put it in the fridge until you’re ready to eat.”
“Really? Thank you.” Jade wanted to offer them a place to sit, but the hardwood floors were empty of furniture.
“I love the colors you chose.” Libby strolled along the perimeter, eyeing the cream walls broken up by an eggplant accent wall. “When do you think you’ll open?”
Jade grabbed the ceiling paint. “Pretty soon. Early May. I’ll be making up samples this week. Just waiting for my machines to come in. I’m excited to get back into it.”
“Did you have a shop in Las Vegas?” Sally asked.
“No,” Jade said. “I had a stressful job in advertising. But in college I worked for an amazing T-shirt designer. Learned everything from her.” She set the can down behind the counter near the back wall. Sally followed her, stopping in front of the counter.
“What are you planning on selling?”
“My base products are T-shirts, custom tote bags, sweatshirts and yoga pants. I’m researching a companion line to sell, like candles, lotions. Or cute purses and scarves. I’ll probably test different items before making any permanent decisions.”
“Good idea.” Sally leaned on the counter. “Libby told me you’re taking Bryan’s class. How are you liking it?”
Jade ripped off a sheet of paper towel and bent to wipe a paint drip from the can before it hit the floor. “Well, I’m not exactly taking the class, but Bryan is teaching me on Sundays. He’s very patient.”
And nice. And really, really cute. But she wasn’t saying that to his relatives.
“Patient.” Sally grinned. “Bryan is one of the few Sheffields to get the trait.”
Jade tossed the paper towel into a plastic grocery bag she set out for trash.
“We all know I didn’t get it.” Libby joined them. “Claire and Bryan are the only ones in our family with patience. That ginormous dog is testing both Sam’s and Bryan’s patience a little too much, if you ask me. Lucy paid for obedience classes. Bryan needs to take the dog.”
“I know,” Sally said. “I know.”
Libby extended her hand, fingers spread. “I keep telling Sam to chill out, but I don’t blame him for being mad. I mean, Bryan took the dog in, and he should be responsible for making it mind.”
“Are you talking about the adorable Saint Bernard, Teeny?” Jade wrapped one arm around her waist and propped her elbow on it. Her cheek fell against her palm.
“Yes.” Libby nodded. “Please tell me she hasn’t destroyed anything of yours.”
“No, no.” Jade laughed. “Bryan had her with him yesterday. I love dogs, especially big dogs.”
Sally turned her head and exchanged an unspoken communication with Libby. Jade remembered sharing similar looks with her best friend in high school. The automatic understanding would flash invisible, yet so real, between them.
A drop of sadness rippled through her chest. The past two years had revolved around working during the day and caring for Mimi at night. Jade had lost touch with her best friend years ago, and her other friends had transferred across the country. It had been a long time since Jade shared secrets or had fun.
“You love dogs. Big dogs.” Libby’s matter-of-fact tone set off tiny alarms in Jade’s brain.
“I do.” Jade could see where Libby’s mind was going. Why not? Bryan wouldn’t let her pay him for their Sunday lessons. She lifted a shoulder. “Maybe I could take Teeny to her classes.”
“Bryan does need help.” Sally nodded, speaking slowly. “But that’s too much to ask. You’ve got your hands full here.”
“Like I said, I love dogs. It wouldn’t be a big deal.”
Libby shook her head. “We couldn’t ask you to do that.”
“It would make me feel better.” Jade spread her arms wide, opening her hands. “Bryan won’t let me pay him for the private lessons.”
“You don’t have to pay him, hon.” Sally waved. “Wait, if you’re not taking his class on Saturdays anymore... Well, Libby, looks like I’ll have to recruit students again.”
“Why is he so on fire about this class, anyway?” Libby flicked her fingernail. “He’s taking it a little too seriously if you ask me.”
“It’s good for him.” Sally shook her head. “It’s getting him out and about.”
“Well, I already pinned his fliers at the grocery store, the donut shop and the library.”
Jade studied her shoes. She knew the reason Bryan offered the class. He clearly hadn’t been kidding when he said it was a secret. Uneasiness crept up her spine. She’d promised to keep it confidential, but why was he keeping his plans from his family?
She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “He told me a couple ladies from his church came to class Saturday.”
“Ada and Louise.” Sally nodded. “Too bad they won’t be around anymore. If worse comes to worst, I’ll try to talk Sam into going. Or Joe and I could pop in.”
“If Sam won’t, I’ll take one for the team.” Libby straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin as though she faced a fiery furnace. “Don’t get me wrong, Jade. It’s not that I don’t love Bryan, but tripping through the forest isn’t my idea of fun.”
Jade liked Libby even more after that declaration.
“I’ll get the word out.” Sally drummed her nails on the counter. “So, Jade, you don’t mind going with Bryan to the dog obedience classes?”
Jade sputtered. Go with Bryan? That hadn’t been her intention. “Oh, I was thinking I would take the dog by myself.”
“I like your enthusiasm, but that wouldn’t help him, because he needs to know how to make Teeny mind.”
She had a point.
Libby made a tsking sound. “None of us can watch her until she stops destroying everything she sees.”
“Why can’t one of you go with him?” The thought of spending time with Teeny appealed, but Jade shouldn’t spend more time with the dog’s gorgeous caretaker.
“We would, hon, we would.” Sally let out a pitiful sigh. “Libby, here, is finishing her final semester of college and has class. I’m on duty at the restaurant Wednesdays. Dale and Reed have been working overtime building more homes in the subdivision. Claire gets home from the zoo late. And Sam...”
“Hates the dog?” Jade asked.
Libby and Sally averted their eyes. Bryan had seemed desperate to get rid of the dog yesterday. “It would be weird for me to contact Bryan and out of the blue say, ‘Hey, I’m going to dog training with you.’”
“You’re right. It would be weird. Don’t worry. I’ll call him right now.” Sally whipped out her phone, swiped the screen and held it to her ear. “Hi, honey. Listen, we’re at Jade’s, and she’s willing to go to obedience class with you Wednesday night.” Her face twisted in displeasure as she listened to Bryan. “No, no. We asked her to go... Because that dog needs to be trained.”
So much for that. Jade glanced at Libby, who lifted a finger and mouthed, “Wait.”
“Sam told me about the classes.” Sally gazed at the ceiling. “I know...Yes, of course I know. Look, Jade likes the dog, and frankly, she’s the only one I know besides your dad who does. Why not try it at least?” She tapped the back of the phone with her finger. “Good. Okay, then, hon...Yep. I’ll tell her. Love you.”
Sally grinned. “He’ll pick you up at six thirty Wednesday night.”
Jade fought to keep from frowning. The way Sally said it made it sound like a date.
“Do you have Bryan’s cell number?” Libby asked.
“Nope.”
“Well, give me yours, and I’ll text it to you.” She held her hand out. “Add me to your contacts, too. I have a friend who makes custom jewelry. You might want to talk to her. Maybe her pieces would work in here.”
Jade told her the number as Libby typed it into her phone.
“We appreciate this, Jade.” Libby brought her hands together, her eyes shining. “Let’s get together soon. Text me anytime.”
* * *
Bryan parked his truck in front of Jade’s store Wednesday evening. Teeny drooled all over the passenger seat as she stared out the front window. “Well, I’d ask you not to embarrass me tonight, but I know you will.”
After teaching Jade Sunday, he’d driven out to Granddad’s cottage to think. Jade’s teasing manner had taken the edge off his need to escape Lake Endwell. And that wouldn’t do. He had no future with Jade or any woman, and he needed to remember it.
Last night he’d spent hours researching wildlife in the Blue Mountain region of Canada. Next on his list? Native birds in Ontario. When he got the call in a month or two, he wanted to be as ready as possible to impress the director.
Teeny licked his hand. Why had Aunt Sally asked Jade to go to these dumb classes with him? Another tight spot to be in, all because of his family.
He got out and walked up the sidewalk. Sometimes his family was great. But when his sister and aunt put their cute little noses in his personal business...well, he didn’t like it. Not one bit.
Bryan jogged up the stairs to Jade’s apartment and rapped on her door twice. She opened it, and his breath caught. Soft light filtered around her flowing, shiny hair. Her green eyes reminded him of spring grass, and her teeth gleamed in a wide smile.
He’d never seen a smile like that. His heartbeat raced as if a gun had gone off. Every thought in his head went on break. She stepped forward, brushing his arm in the process. Her perfume—something exotic, feminine—wreathed around him.
“Hi.” Her tone had a bounce to it. “I hear Teeny needs some rules.”
“She sure does.” His voice cracked. He cleared his throat.
“Well, let’s go train that dog.”
She skipped down the steps and made baby faces at Teeny through the passenger window.
“Give me a minute,” Bryan said. “I’ll hold her so you can get in.”
He climbed into the driver’s seat, grabbed Teeny’s collar and urged her to the backseat, but she didn’t move. Jade opened the door.
“Wait!” Certain the dog would leap out and run, Bryan gripped her collar. But Jade stood tall, crowding Teeny until the mutt was forced to hop in the backseat. She took a tissue from her purse and wiped the drool off the leather. Bryan blinked. “How did you do that?”
“Do what?” She wadded the tissue and looked around for somewhere to put it. He held his palm out. She handed him the tissue.
“Keep her from jumping out.”
“Oh, that.” She waved. “No biggie. My old boss always brought her Great Dane into the shop with her. We had all kinds of tricks to keep Baby from escaping.”
“Baby? What’s with the names for these big dogs?” He jerked his thumb backward. “This one should be named Hercules or Queen Kong or something.”
Jade laughed. “Queen Kong. I like it.”
He shifted into Drive and asked her about the store. She filled him in on the furniture still in boxes that came in yesterday.
“Your sister and aunt raved about your car dealerships.” She shifted to face him. Her creamy skin looked sun-kissed, and his mouth went dry. “How did you get into your line of work?”
“Sheffield Auto is a family business.” His throat was crusty as two-day-old bread. “Granddad started it, then Dad took over. Now Tommy, Sam and I run it.”
“Impressive,” she said. “Your family seems close.”
“We are.” He kept his focus straight ahead. No sense sending his blood pressure off the charts staring at her pretty face. “Tell me about yours. Was it just you and Mimi all those years? What happened to your parents?”
“My parents divorced when I was three. They decided Mimi would raise me. Mom’s a cancer researcher for the World Health Organization in France, and Dad’s a heart surgeon for the Mayo Clinic in Phoenix.”
“Demanding jobs.” He frowned. Why would anyone send their kid, practically a baby, to live with someone else? He wanted to ask, but it was none of his business. “I’m surprised you didn’t go into medicine.”
“So were my parents.” Her curt laugh didn’t sound mirthful.
He darted a glance her way. “I take it they were disappointed?”
A tight smile accompanied her shrug. “When aren’t they disappointed?”
Bryan frowned. It didn’t seem possible anyone could be disappointed in someone as dazzling as Jade.
“They both have demanding careers. I guess they expected the same from me.”
“Starting your own business is demanding.” Bryan stole a peek at her and wished he hadn’t. She looked beautiful and...sad.
Her halfhearted chuckle yanked at his heart. “Tell that to them. I rarely talk to my father. He paid for my college, though, and I’m thankful for that. Maybe my parents did me a favor handing me over to Mimi when they did. Better her than a nanny or boarding school.”
He rolled into the long, winding driveway of Perfect Puppy, the doggy day care and boarding service at the edge of town. Pressure built in his chest at the hurt in her eyes and the way she justified her parents’ actions. He shouldn’t judge. He’d better keep his mouth shut or he’d say something he’d regret, something like, Your parents are jerks and should have their heads examined.
He parked, pressing the brakes with more force than necessary. “Sorry.”
At the entrance, Teeny pressed her nose against the glass door. Her tail hit the backs of Bryan’s knees. He opened the door for Jade and fumbled to get Lucy’s receipt out of his pocket. Jade took the leash from him. She nodded to a group of people with dogs of various sizes. “I’ll take her over there while you straighten things out with the instructor.”
“Do you think that’s a good idea?” Bryan eyed the crowd. Teeny was so rambunctious.
“We’ll be fine.”
Against his better judgment, he let Jade leave. Bryan found DeeDee Matthews, the owner of Perfect Puppy, and mentioned Lucy’s arrangement. Certain Teeny had destroyed something in the thirty seconds his back was turned, he dreaded having to find Jade. But when he looked in her direction, he exhaled. Jade stood near other owners while Teeny and a schnauzer greeted each other in doggy fashion.
“Let’s get started.” DeeDee clapped her hands.
As Jade transferred the leash to Bryan, her fingers brushed his in the process, distracting him. Teeny took the opportunity to charge across the open floor, the leash dragging behind her.
A hand grenade minus the pin dropped in Bryan’s gut, but he ran after the dog. She’d lowered her front legs and barked at a Chihuahua trembling under its owner’s chair.
Perfect. The brute was officially bullying a tiny, terrified dog.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, and dragged—or tried to drag—Teeny to the other side of the room where Jade attempted to control her laughter. He didn’t find anything funny about it.
DeeDee continued. “I’m glad so many of you could make it tonight. For those of you who are new, I’ll share a quick rundown of our rules. The dogs remain on leash and at your side throughout the class. At the end of the session, we allow the dogs to greet one another, but they must remain on their leashes. We address behavior issues with a squirt of water.” She held up a clear plastic spray bottle. “If you haven’t purchased a clicker and treats, I have extras up here and you can pay me after class.”
Jade elbowed Bryan’s arm. “Do you have a clicker?”
He shook his head and leaned toward her. “No treats, either.”
DeeDee led a small white poodle to the center of the room. “I’ll be demonstrating with Izzy. Let’s review how to get your dog to sit. Here’s the sequence. Stand in front of your dog. Raise your hand, palm up, and say in a firm tone, ‘Sit.’ When your dog sits, click the clicker and feed her a treat.”
DeeDee went through the steps with Izzy, who performed them easily right down to eating the treat after the click.
“Think we can get Teeny to do that?” Jade whispered.
“Not in ten years.”
She chortled under her breath.
“You laugh now,” he muttered. “But wait until Teeny eats the Chihuahua. No one will be laughing then.”
“It looks like we can start,” Jade said. “I’ll go get the clicker and treats while you find a spot.”
Bryan looked at Teeny. Teeny looked at him. He had a sinking sensation, like the time he stood too quickly in Granddad’s fishing boat, lost his balance and fell into the lake.
“Here we are.” Jade handed him a small blue box with a metal button that made a clicking sound when pressed. It fit in the palm of his hand. “Try it.”
“What do I do first again?” Did he tell her to sit, raise his hand or give her a treat? It all seemed confusing.
“Um, raise your palm and say, ‘Sit.’”
He did. Teeny wagged her tail and panted. He repeated the command. She ignored him.
“I think this dog is defective.” He clicked the clicker. Teeny did nothing.
“Let me try.” Jade held out her hand.
Bryan gave her the clicker and leash. He had no doubt she would tell Teeny to sit and the dog would obey. All the other dogs were sitting and gobbling up treats.
“Teeny, sit.” Jade raised her palm. A line of drool dropped to the floor, but she didn’t sit. “Maybe we have to push her bottom down so she knows what we want.”
The fact Jade couldn’t get the dog to obey either was like a flash of sunshine on a miserable day. He wasn’t the only one bad at this.
Jade gave him the leash. “Here. You do the spiel again, and I’ll press on her back.”
Bryan went through the motions as Jade pressed lightly on Teeny’s backside. Teeny sat.
“Hurry, click it!” Jade yelled.
He clicked the thing and handed Teeny a treat. He’d give her a handful if she’d listen to him.
“We did it!” Jade held her hand up for a high five, and Bryan slapped her palm.
“Yeah, but can we do it again?”
She grinned. “It’s worth a try.”
He commanded Teeny to sit. It took a few attempts, but by the end of the class, she was sitting regularly. When class let out, Bryan and Jade made their way to the truck. “Thanks for coming with me. I would be hopeless at this if you weren’t here.”
Her smile reached all the way to her eyes. “It’s easier with a partner.”
A partner. Something he’d longed for when he’d married Abby. Another dream he’d put to rest after she left.
Their feet crunched over the gravel on the way to his truck. “Teeny needs a lot more training before I can leave her alone. At least I have hope now.”
“What happens when you leave her alone?” Jade took easy strides, her chin up and shoulders back. He liked seeing the relaxed, confident side of her.
“Sam nicknamed her Teeny the Destroyer.”
Covering her mouth, she laughed. “She can’t be that bad.”
Bryan didn’t say a word, just widened his eyes. The trees lining the parking lot had begun to flower with white and pink blossoms. The sweet scent of spring filled the air.
“Do you need me to watch her during your class on Saturday?”
“I couldn’t ask you to do that.” He tightened his hold on the leash.
“Why not?”
“She’s big, untrained, and I worry she’d pull you off your feet.”
Jade rolled her eyes. “I told you. I can handle a big dog. Bring her to the park. I’ll take her around the lawn and study the trees you showed me. She probably needs a lot of exercise.”
“I don’t...”
“Bryan, I already feel bad you’re helping me on Sundays. You won’t let me pay you. Let me walk your dog during class this week.”
Bryan had to say no. He was sliding into murky territory with Jade. Which wasn’t smart, not after five years of frozen emotions.
“I’m going to try working through some of the therapy list on my own,” she said. “Maybe with Teeny by my side, I could take a few steps on one of the paths.”
Bryan opened the passenger door for her. He walked Teeny almost every day, and she lunged for birds and squirrels a few times, but he’d been able to control her. Maybe Jade could handle the dog. If it helped her overcome her fear, how could he refuse?
* * *
Late Friday morning, Jade cupped her hands around a cardboard cup of coffee and gazed out at the beauty before her. The sun spread happiness over City Park and laughed in silver glints off the lake. Pastel petals drifted to the ground. Jade wanted to scoop them up and fill a glass dish with their delicate beauty. It was nice, enjoying a product of trees for once. And hopefully today she’d get through step five of the exposure therapy worksheet she’d printed.
A worn path through the grass led to a wooded area in the distance. Far enough away from the gazebo to enjoy her coffee but close enough for her to hike over and work through the next item on the list.
The first four steps she’d conquered with Bryan. But step five involved moving a few feet into the forest while being aware of her feelings. Neither were strong suits of hers.
She sipped her coffee. She’d made a new daily ritual of exchanging small talk with Art Dunkirk, former owner of the Daily Donut. His fifty-year-old daughter, Marie, ran the shop now, but Art spent his mornings chugging coffee at the counter and harassing Marie, who sassed him but clearly loved him. Every morning at eight, Jade hopped onto the stool next to Art, ordered a large coffee to go and nibbled on a pastry while he filled her in on the gossip and history of Lake Endwell.
She’d stayed ten minutes longer than usual today. Dawdling. The task before her would surely throw her into a panic attack.
She didn’t want to do step five.
Pulling her phone from her pocket, she sighed, then found the voice recording function. She figured saying her feelings out loud would be therapeutic.
After tossing her cup in the trash can, she clicked Record. “I’m in City Park. There’s a grove of trees and dense brush to my left. I’m walking that way. Not feeling out of breath or shaky yet.”
Geese honked overhead. They disappeared beyond the tree line.
“The air smells like the lake today but not in a bad way. It’s clean, fragrant, hard to describe.” Her footsteps crawled as she approached the grove of trees. “The ground isn’t as soft here. Twigs and dirt are packed into the grass. Old weeds block the dirt path. I’ll have to step on them to enter the woods.”
She peered down at her running shoes. As rooted to the spot as the trunks before her.
“I’m starting to feel overwhelmed. I haven’t gone inside, but I feel as if the trees are reaching for me, dragging me in where I don’t want to go.” She inhaled a deep, but shaky, breath. Come on, Jade. Step five. You’ve got this.
Her right foot crushed the weeds. Then her left.
And she was in the woods.
She heard nothing out of the ordinary, yet a roaring sound filled her head. Her throat tightened, and her pulse clobbered her temples. “I’m...I’m...scared,” she whispered. A sudden movement in a clump of tall grass ahead made her jump with her hand to her chest. Stupid squirrel.
I can’t do this.
Try. Come on. Just try.
Her head spun. She thrust her hand out, anchoring it to a tree trunk. She brought her phone up again. “Might pass out.”
What was she supposed to be doing? What had the therapy site said to do?
Feelings. Be aware of feelings.
“The forest wants to kidnap me. The weeds at my feet are twining up my legs. They don’t want me to leave. And the logical part of my brain knows the bird calls above are good sounds, but in my ears, they’re screechy and eerie and terrible right now.”
The trees, the weeds, the smells, the sounds—they weren’t the real problem. But what was?
A thought flashed in her mind, and it grew, magnified, until it filled her.
“I feel alone here. Utterly alone.” She backed out of the woods onto the lawn and hunched over.
Why did You leave me all alone, God? Why did You send me to Germany to be disappointed, abandoned, lost? I’m mad at You. Furious. And I know I shouldn’t say that, because You’re God, but I’m so angry.
Tears burned behind her eyes, and her lungs squeezed.
Why didn’t You save me? Why did You let me go farther and farther into that forest? You could have guided me. You could have pointed me in the right direction. Why didn’t You show me where to go?
Tears raced down her cheeks.
You left me. Mom left me. Dad left me.
Even Mimi left me.
Jade wiped her eyes and took deep breaths until she calmed down.
Bryan was leaving, too.
Maybe she was destined to be alone. She marched toward the gazebo. The twirly feelings that messed with her heartbeat when she was around Bryan needed taming.
She’d be smart to think of him as a friend. Only a friend.