“I need this sweatshirt and this Lake Endwell bag with the swirly words, and, oh, did you see these adorable slacks?”
Behind the counter, Jade straightened promotional fliers and eavesdropped on Sally, Libby and Libby’s sister, Claire. Shine Gifts had officially opened at ten this morning, and a steady stream of locals had been in and out all day.
“Yoga pants, Aunt Sally.” Libby perused a circular rack of tees in various colors. “No one has called them slacks since before I was born.”
“Well, excuse me, Miss Thing.” Sally shot a look of long suffering at Libby and continued working her way through the store. “Jade, I notice you have plain shirts here. Do you have designs I can choose from?”
“Of course!” Jade rounded the counter and led Sally to the sitting area where she kept a custom binder of her designs for customers to peruse. Two gray upholstered chairs and a round coffee table were positioned on a fluffy dark purple rug. “Here are some I already made, but if you don’t see anything you like, describe what you’re looking for and I’ll do my best to create it. We should plan a time to discuss a new logo for Uncle Joe’s Restaurant.”
“New merchandise for the restaurant? It’s about time,” Claire said. Her shoulder-length waves were dark brown, but she shared Libby’s cornflower-blue eyes. “Jade, would you be able to make a design with penguins? We’re opening a new exhibit at the zoo, and I absolutely love the little guys.”
“Penguins are cute.” Jade selected a different binder and handed it to Claire. “Look through these pictures to see if any work.”
The bell above the door clanged and a trio of women entered. Two looked to be in their late fifties while the third was elderly.
“It’s so bright in here.” The stylish one with khaki capris, a coral blouse and matching lipstick headed straight to the jewelry display. “I hardly recognize it. Remember when this was Barry’s vacuum cleaner shop?”
A tall, solid woman with eagle eyes and a short flint-colored comb-and-go hairstyle scanned the place. “Barry was cheap. Awful avocado indoor-outdoor carpeting. Reminded me of vomit. It was dark because he only had a bare bulb hanging from the ceiling.”
Jade approached the ladies. “Welcome to Shine Gifts. I’m Jade Emerson. May I help you?”
The older one with papery cheeks smiled. “It’s lovely. Just lovely, dear.”
“Do you carry onesies?” Eagle Eyes lifted one eyebrow. Everything about her was no-nonsense, including her brisk tone.
“Um...” Onesies. Onesies.
“The baby T-shirts with snaps at the bottom.”
“Oh, right.” Jade laughed, waving. She didn’t currently carry baby clothes, but if the woman wanted onesies, she would give her onesies. “I don’t have any in stock, but I can order them. What exactly are you looking for?”
Eagle Eyes regarded her a moment. The silence grew charged with tension. Jade held her breath, unsure why. The lady made a sucking sound with her teeth. “Camouflage. My son’s a hunter, and my grandson will be, too. I want a saying on it. Something manly. Maybe a reference to the boy’s grandpa.”
Jade exhaled and pasted on her brightest smile. “Come with me. I have some ideas.”
The woman didn’t move. “Well, can you do it or not?”
Jade pulled herself up to her full five feet. For some reason, winning this woman over seemed important. “Of course I can.”
She nodded. “Okay, then.”
“I didn’t catch your name.” Jade led her to the counter.
“I didn’t throw it out.”
“I’m sure you don’t throw anything out unless absolutely necessary.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Her cheeks flushed.
Jade and her big mouth. She hadn’t meant it as an insult. “You strike me as the type of woman who is a good manager and not likely to waste anything.”
She harrumphed. “Fay Worthington.”
Jade ducked behind the counter for her sketchbook, then extended her hand. “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Worthington. Now, tell me, how old is this child?”
“Call me Fay. And he’s not born yet. Due in October.”
“How exciting! Your first grandbaby?”
Fay’s expression softened as her chin lifted. “Yes. And it’s about time. Why the young people are waiting until they’re in their thirties to have children makes no sense. I had four strapping boys by the time I turned twenty-eight. Didn’t hear me complaining.”
“No, ma’am,” Jade murmured. Part of her wanted to pipe up and mention how hard it was to find a husband, let alone start a family. And what about the couples who tried and tried, yet struggled to conceive? Having babies these days was hard. Jade shook the thoughts away. “So you’re looking for newborn clothes.”
Fay nodded. A flash of uncertainty crossed her face. A teeny bit of sympathy washed over Jade. Maybe Fay was nervous about becoming a grandmother.
“Well, it’s wonderful you’re taking such an interest in this baby.”
Fay set her purse on the counter. “I’ve already told my son not to expect me to drop everything to babysit all the time. And when the boy gets older, they’d better make him mind. I don’t want him toddling off the dock while I’m fishing. If they don’t teach him to respect the water, I will.”
“I don’t have much experience with babies myself.” Jade tapped her chin. “But I loved spending time with my grandma, and I always listened to her advice. She was the wisest person I knew.”
Fay nodded. “Not all grandmothers sit around baking, you know.”
“That’s for sure. You’ll have fun with your grandson. I’m sure you’ll have him fishing off the dock with you in no time.” Jade grinned. “It’s my understanding these little tykes grow out of everything at the snap of a finger. You might want to consider a few different designs in various sizes. That way the baby will have something to grow into.”
“I thought that, too.”
Jade sketched out three quick drawings all geared toward hunting and fishing, then jotted down clever sayings to print on them. Thankfully, she’d had to come up with quippy sayings on a daily basis in her previous advertising positions. She was practically a pro at it.
Fay pointed at things she liked, made a few suggestions and ordered four baby sweatshirts and sweatpants with matching onesies in assorted sizes. All camouflage, of course. The stylish friend bought two necklaces and a shirt. As the trio left, they chatted about the store and how they would be back.
Libby and Claire hustled to the counter. Both wore matching wide-eyed expressions.
“How did you do that?” Libby jerked her thumb backward at the door.
“Do what?” Jade closed her sketchbook and stuck it on a shelf below the counter.
“Tame Fay Worthington,” Claire said. “She’s one of the toughest women I know. Honest and hardworking, but I’ve never known her to buy two of anything, let alone four.”
Jade chuckled. “She impressed me. I respect women who say what’s on their minds.”
“Well, you just did yourself a big favor.” Sally plopped three shirts and a tote bag on the counter. “Fay might be a tough cookie, but she’ll spread the word about this place. You wait.”
“Really?” Jade lifted the first shirt off Sally’s pile and began folding it. “I hope you’re right.”
“Yes, and she’s the head of the women’s auxiliary at her church. They’ll stop in.”
Church ladies. The thought gave Jade an idea. “Would you say there’s a need for Christian merchandise in Lake Endwell?”
“Oh!” Libby jumped, clapping her hands. “That’s brilliant! Of course you’re right, Jade. Christian gifts. Here. Absolutely!”
Sally’s grape-cluster-shaped earrings swayed as she nodded. “Why hasn’t anyone thought of that? This is a church-centered community. Christian gifts would be a big hit.”
Jade studied the room. “I could fit a small supply of books in the corner.”
“Oh, and pictures, things for the home,” Libby said.
“I don’t have a ton of space.” Jade tried to mentally fit more products along the wall.
“You can always find more space.” Claire perused the store. “Shine Gifts. The name says it all. Your light is shining.”
Jade now understood how the Grinch felt when his heart grew three sizes. Supportive friends, a successful store opening—what more could she ask for? “Thank you. I appreciate all the ways you’ve made me feel at home here.”
“Aw, honey, we’re thrilled to have you.”
“Yeah, Jade,” Libby said. “And don’t forget, tonight we’re taking you out to celebrate at Uncle Joe’s.”
“Dinner is on the house.” Sally nodded.
“I can’t wait.” Jade pulled out a paper bag with the Shine Gifts logo. “Thank you.”
She almost asked if Bryan would be there. She had so much to tell him but had refrained from texting or calling him. If not tonight, she’d see him tomorrow for their weekly outdoor session. Maybe this time she would be able to hike a ways in the woods, show him she was getting better.
Better?
She frowned. How many times had she tried to be the girl her boyfriends wanted? Until she got over this incessant need to please the people she cared about, she was in no position to have a romantic relationship. Bryan didn’t want one, anyhow.
* * *
“Macy!” Bryan opened his arms wide. It had been a few weeks since the entire family got together for dinner at the restaurant. If it wasn’t for his six-year-old niece, he wouldn’t bother coming anymore. Strange how he could feel lonely surrounded by loved ones. Macy raced into his arms, and he lifted her high in the air. Her dark ringlets bounced over her shoulders.
“Uncle Bryan! When are you coming over for a tea party?” Her cute lower lip stuck out in a pout, and she ran her bitty hands over his cheeks.
“When would you like me to come over?” He settled her on his hip, her face near his.
“Right now!”
He set her back on the hardwood floors of Uncle Joe’s Restaurant. “We have to eat now. How about tomorrow?”
Her face fell, then she brightened. “Okay, but don’t bring that big dog.”
Teeny chewed one of Macy’s Barbie dolls last week. The dog was listening to commands and not running off at every squirrel, but Teeny still destroyed a lot of items. Macy’s Barbie was just one more casualty in a long line of destruction.
“I bought you a new Ballerina Barbie,” he said. “I’ll bring it over when we have tea.”
She hugged him. “Are you coming to my recital?”
“What kind of question is that? Of course I’m coming to your recital. I’ve got to brag to everyone sitting around me that my niece is the best dancer up there.”
“You’re silly.” She giggled and took his hand. “Sit by me.”
He wasn’t turning down that sweet face. He followed her to the long table set for twelve. The restaurant was busy, but then, Saturday nights were usually hectic. Waiters and waitresses in white polo shirts, jeans and aprons tied around their waists bustled about with trays high in the air. A honky-tonk song played over the speakers, and the room smelled of grease from the fryers. Bryan took a seat facing three sets of glass patio doors. The deck was open, but a cool breeze kept all but two couples inside. Beyond the patio, a strip of lawn led to the lake and a long dock.
Claire and Reed chatted with him a minute before moving to the end of the table with Dad. Tommy and Stephanie sat across from Bryan. Macy wiggled around in the chair to his left, and the one on his right was empty.
Tommy had called him a few times to try to talk him out of Blue Mountain Retreat but for the most part was letting him be. Bryan still hadn’t said anything to the rest of the family.
“Just waiting on Libby and Jake.” Tommy put his arm around Stephanie, whose baby bump kept growing. “Don’t tell me this little imp roped you into anything.”
“Nah,” Bryan said with a grin. “We’re planning a tea party. Tomorrow work for you?”
Tommy exchanged a look with Stephanie. They seemed to read each other’s thoughts. A pang shot through Bryan’s chest. What would it be like to enjoy that kind of connection with a woman? A wife? Forever?
Jade’s smiling face came to mind.
“We don’t have plans tomorrow. Come over anytime.” Stephanie smiled, resting her hand on her belly.
“How are you feeling?” Bryan nodded at her stomach.
“Great! But I’m always hungry. I’m warning you, I’m ordering the grease platter and I’m not sharing.”
“You mean the appetizer sampler?”
“One and the same.”
Movement behind him made him peer back over his shoulder. Jade pulled out the chair next to him. He forgot to exhale.
“Hi. I hope it’s okay for me to join you. Libby said...”
“We’re celebrating Jade’s grand opening!” Libby raced around the table to the chair next to Stephanie, across from Jade. Libby gave Stephanie a quick hug and took a seat.
“I’ve heard about your store,” Stephanie said. “I’m Stephanie. Tom’s wife. We’re glad you joined us.”
Tommy stood to lean over, holding his hand out. “Tom Sheffield. Nice to meet you. The rug rat over here is our daughter, Macy.”
Jade stretched her neck to smile at Macy. “Hi there.”
Macy brightened. “I’m a ballerina.”
“You are? I love watching ballet.”
“I’m going to be in a recital, and I get to wear a purple tutu.”
“Really?”
Macy tugged on Bryan’s sleeve and whispered loudly, “You should bring her to my recital.”
He patted her hand and decided not to respond before shifting his attention to Jade. Her flushed cheeks, sparkling eyes and straight hair made his stomach feel funny. “How did the grand opening go?”
“Fantastic! I had a ton of customers. I never dreamed it would go this well.”
“That’s great.”
Her shoulders twitched as if she couldn’t contain her joy. “What about you? Any new students this morning?”
“Just the usual. Sam, Beth and Shelby.” The three had joked, flirted and barely listened to the lesson he’d prepared. He’d grown terse as the session wore on and almost yelled at them all to go home. Frustrating.
“It’s for a good cause,” Jade whispered, and sipped her ice water.
“Sure. Beth wore flip-flops today. Who wears flip-flops to hike in the woods? I doubt any of them could build a fire even with waterproof matches. I don’t know if it’s worth the effort.”
Jade nudged him. “It’s worth it.”
Was it? He glanced at Tommy, who laughed at something Stephanie said. Down the line, Reed and Claire sat shoulder to shoulder. Jake had arrived and Libby swatted at his arm and chuckled, shaking her head at whatever he said.
Yes, it would be worth it to move on. To truly move on with his life.
Bryan trailed his finger down the glass of water in front of him.
Was it really worth it?
The question no longer applied to teaching the class. He recognized that. No, it was more. This was about everything.
The moment felt important—vital—and a choice sprang in his heart.
Was he willing to fully commit to life again?
It would be easy to move away, to not have to deal with these messy feelings he had for Jade. She’d told him they were meant to be friends, but he could no longer pretend he didn’t long for more.
“What’s the plan for tomorrow?” Jade asked. The restaurant grew louder. Bryan had to lean in to hear what she was saying.
He was so close he could smell her perfume. His fingers itched to trail her cheek, to tuck the strands of cinnamon hair behind her ear, and her animation kick-started his pulse. “Making a fire. If you’re interested.”
“I’m interested.” She glowed under the restaurant lights. “I would love to learn how to make a fire, Bryan.”
He couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to practice more than starting a fire. What would it be like to let his attraction grow? Date her? Kiss her?
He’d be smart to keep the fire in the pit, or he would get burned.
* * *
Jade traced the F and the M on the tree at City Park the next afternoon as she waited for Bryan. She’d arrived fifteen minutes early to collect her thoughts. The lake appeared almost turquoise in the blinding sun, and she shielded her eyes to watch the boats zooming back and forth in the distance.
Every day she felt a little more at home here. This town was where she belonged.
Last night Bryan’s family had made her feel like one of them, and Sally had surprised her with a big sheet cake with creamy frosting and purple lettering that spelled out Congratulations, Jade! Libby had gone onstage, grabbed the microphone and welcomed Jade in front of the packed restaurant. Jade had to hold back tears as everyone clapped.
These people—these Sheffields—were something.
She’d love to be part of a family like theirs.
Mimi had told her many times that someday the right man would recognize her for the jewel she was and snatch her up. Jade suppressed a sigh. If any guy was going to carve her initial in a tree next to his, she wished it would be Bryan. It wasn’t that she needed an adolescent show of affection. She just wanted a great story to tell her grandkids.
But it wasn’t going to happen.
She was starting to suspect she’d dated the wrong guys all this time to avoid getting close enough to have a real relationship. Maybe falling for no-dating-or-marriage Bryan was another way for her to avoid intimacy.
Woof, woof!
Teeny galloped toward her. Bryan had to run to keep up with the dog. They stopped, both of them panting, in front of her. Jade scratched behind Teeny’s ears. “What happened? I thought she was getting better at not taking off at a sprint.”
“She was. But she must have missed you.”
“It’s only been a few days.”
“Two days too long.” His gaze enveloped her. The Detroit Tigers tee fit perfectly—not too tight, just formfitting enough to hint at his firm muscles. A backpack hung over his shoulders.
Was he flirting?
Of course not. She wasn’t a mathematician, but she could add. Bryan plus Jade equaled zero. They’d both said it.
“There’s a fire pit close to the lake down there.” Bryan pointed to a circle of benches near the water. “I’ll gather what we need. You can stay here.”
Before he could walk away, Jade said, “Wait, in all the excitement of opening the store, I forgot to tell you. I actually stood in the forest for a whole minute on Friday. Sixty full seconds. And I survived!”
His mouth dropped open. “I can’t believe it. You did?” She nodded, gasping when he pulled her into his arms and lifted her off her feet. “I’m proud of you. Wow!”
She could feel his heartbeat through her thin shirt. She’d been correct about his muscles—strong against her—and his hug warmed her down to the tips of her toes. He set her back on her feet, but she didn’t move away. No, she stared up at him, noting the appreciation in his sky-blue eyes. If she didn’t know better, she’d say he wanted to kiss her.
And the way her pulse had taken off, she definitely wanted to kiss him.
Maybe she wasn’t trying to avoid intimacy, after all. Or she was reading way more into the situation than she should.
She ducked her head and stepped back. Why was this man so intent on moving to another country? If she told him she was wrong about being just friends, that she’d lied when she’d said dating him never crossed her mind, would he see he had everything right here?
“Why don’t I come with you to gather wood?”
“Are you sure? If it’s too much, we can...”
She stretched her arm out to silence him. “I can do this, Bryan. I’ll probably still be scared, but I want to try.”
Bryan assessed her until, finally, he nodded. “If you want, you can hold my hand. That is, if it makes you feel safer.”
Her throat tightened. Why did he have to be so thoughtful?
“It would make me feel safer,” she said softly. “Thanks.”
A grin spread across his face. “Don’t forget you have Teeny to protect you, too.”
“Teeny? Protecting? Only if I have the clicker and a pocketful of treats.”
“I came prepared.” Bryan extracted a bag of treats from his pocket. “Are you ready?”
Bryan took her hand in his. As their fingers intertwined, she leaned her head against his arm a moment. “You make me feel safe.”
He squeezed her hand. “You make me feel...”
She waited for him to finish, but he didn’t. What did she make him feel? Why didn’t he answer? How could he say something like that and not complete the thought?
“Make you feel?” she prodded.
“Important.”
The compliment spread through her like fizz. “One of these days, Bryan Sheffield, you’re going to realize what an amazing person you are.”
“Sure. You’ll see the truth at some point.”
“I see the truth.”
He turned to her and stared as if trying to memorize her face. “You make me want to believe it, Jade.”
“Then...believe it.” She lifted one shoulder.
He moved forward, still holding her hand. “If I said you were amazing, would you believe it?”
How she wanted to say yes, but she couldn’t lie, not about this. “No.”
“Exactly. It’s not that easy.”
“What happened to you?” she asked. “Why don’t you see?”
The vein in his forehead bulged. “I don’t deserve the label. I made a mess of my marriage and basically checked out for the past five years. Real amazing.”
“You think the divorce was your fault, don’t you?”
He didn’t answer.
“Maybe you needed to lay low to recover. I’ve read articles about the most stressful events in a person’s life, and divorce is right up there with death.”
“Yeah, and maybe I didn’t want to face my old classmates who gossiped about it. Best laugh they had in years. The joke was on me, all right.”
“I’m sorry, Bryan. It must have been a terrible time for you.”
He kicked at a twig. “The worst part was I didn’t see it coming. I had no clue she was cheating on me. I felt duped. Stupid.”
“I can imagine. But she was the one who was stupid. She had you and threw your marriage away.”
“I don’t see Abby having regrets.”
Jade frowned. “Do you have regrets?”
“I don’t know. I think we all want to avoid pain in our lives.” He tipped his head for them to continue. “Come on. We have better things to do.” They strolled in silence until they reached the edge of the woods.
“Are you sure you want to go in there?” Bryan asked.
Now that they were up close to the trees, the familiar tics flooded her body. Blurred vision, shallow breaths, clammy palms.
“Let me practice my relaxation techniques for a minute first.” She closed her eyes, concentrating on her breathing, but not losing sight of the fact Bryan still held her hand. After completing the sequence, she nodded. “I’m ready.”
They moved into the woods slowly. She tightened her grip on Bryan’s hand, but they continued forward until he stopped.
“Here,” Bryan said. “Can you take Teeny? I’ll grab sticks and kindling.”
She glanced back, shocked at how far they’d come. Her tongue thickened and mouth dried, but she held her free hand out to take the leash.
Bryan picked up sticks and bark from the ground. Teeny moved next to Jade and stayed close, seeming to sense her fear. As Jade petted Teeny’s head, her tension lowered at the softness of plush fur.
Bryan shoved everything in his backpack and tucked a few thicker branches under his arms. “Are you okay?”
She licked her lips. She probably had a permanent stress wrinkle in her forehead. “Yes.”
He slung his arm around her shoulders and pressed his lips to the hair above her ear. “I’m proud of you.”
Then he took her hand and led her back the way they came.
Jade couldn’t erase the feel of his lips on her hair, and she tried to pay attention to Bryan’s fire-making tips, but she found herself fascinated by his broad back, sighing at the sight of the concentration etched in his face, and feeling all jittery as he stacked the sticks they collected.
Bryan was something special, all right, and his comment earlier made her begin to understand why he didn’t grasp it. His divorce had torn down his self-esteem.
After her third attempt at starting a fire and this time succeeding, she sat on one of the benches. Bryan lowered his body next to hers. Smoke tendrils curled up to the sky, and low flames flickered through the wood.
“It’s kind of funny to have a fire during the day.” Her palms hovered above the fire pit.
He smiled, watching her. “Yeah. I like a fire anytime, but my favorite is on a crisp fall night. The stars take up the whole sky, and everything is quiet except for the crackle of the wood burning.”
“Mmm, I’d like that.” She could picture herself sitting next to Bryan on an autumn evening. Leaning back, looking at the stars. Holding his hand. She trusted him. If she told him about Germany, he wouldn’t laugh at her or think less of her. At least she hoped not. “Bryan?”
“Hmm?”
“You asked me a while back if something happened to make me scared of the woods.”
“You want to talk about it?” He leaned forward, hands clasped.
She nodded. Her mother knew, of course, and her dad and Mimi, but Jade hadn’t shared the details with anyone else.
“When I was little, I had this fantasy of living with my parents, especially my mom. Mimi convinced Mom to let me stay a summer with her in Germany. Mom was doing research, and she’d rented a Bavarian cottage on the edge of the Black Forest.”
“Wait,” Bryan said. “The Black Forest? Isn’t that a made-up place in the fairy tales?”
“I wish it was pretend, but no, it’s very real. Anyway, I was seven and too young to stay home alone, so Mom arranged for a babysitter. The girl quit at the last minute, and Mom had a hard time finding anyone else to stay with me while she worked. A few times I spent the day at the neighbor’s house—they were from England, renting the place for the summer—but the two boys who lived there teased me and played mean tricks on me.”
“How old were they?”
She thought back. “I’m not sure. Probably ten, twelve. Anyway, I was miserable. Mimi had flown with me to Germany, stayed a few days and returned to Las Vegas. I thought my mom would see what a good girl I was and ask me to come live with her.”
“It must have been hard to be separated from your parents at such a young age.”
She nodded, watching the flames. “The kids at school had moms and dads. I wanted a normal family, too.”
“I get that.” Bryan took a long, thick stick and adjusted the wood on the fire. It sizzled and popped. Orange embers flew into the air. “I wanted my mom back after she died. Resented my friends who had mothers to bake cookies and fuss over them. Aunt Sally has been doing both ever since, but she still wasn’t Mom.”
A pang of sadness for Bryan touched her heart. He’d lost his mom at a young age. At least she still had hers.
“I realized that summer I was never going to have a normal family like my friends. Mom can’t help it—her greatest passion in life is to find a cure for cancer. And she and my stepfather, Gerald, are two of the most qualified people to do it.”
“But what about you?” he asked quietly. Compassion shone in his eyes.
She shook her head. “I could never compete with curing cancer, and she always told me the pregnancy had been a mistake.”
Bryan made a grunting noise. “Those are tough words to hear, Jade.”
She lifted her lips in a quick smile. “I’m fine. Really. And I’m getting way off track. Um, let’s see. Someone from the research center called Mom with news on the Saturday before I was flying home. I can still see the way Mom’s face lit up. She practically jumped up and down with excitement. She kissed me on the forehead, told me to stay in the house and watch TV while she went to the lab. Said she’d be back in an hour.”
The memories sprang fresh, as if they’d happened last week, not twenty years ago.
“She was gone more than an hour, wasn’t she?” Bryan placed his hand over hers. Jade nodded.
“I got bored, and I was mad. Mad at not being enough for her to stay. Mad at always being second, third or seventeenth on her priority list. And I took my stuffed puppy and marched outside. The boys were throwing a ball around.”
Bryan slipped his hand under hers. It reassured her, helped her to continue.
“One of them said, ‘Hey, you want to see Grandmother’s house from Little Red Riding Hood?’ and I shook my head, telling them it wasn’t real. They called me a baby and other names. Then one said, ‘She doesn’t think Red Riding Hood is real. She probably thinks the Black Forest is made up, too.’ Well, I knew the Black Forest was real, because Mom told me about it.”
“You went with them.”
Jade nodded. Bryan dropped her hand, slinging his arm around her shoulders.
“They ran ahead, laughing because I couldn’t keep up. As we got farther and farther in, I lost sight of them. I can still hear them laughing.”
The slight pressure of his hand on her shoulder steadied her enough to continue. “I ran, but the forest was so dense and the paths twisted, branching off. Night came too quickly, and yellow eyes glowed all around me. Something scratched at the bark. I kept hearing rustling noises and seeing shadows. I cried and screamed but no one came. A local found me late the next day. I was hunched over my stuffed puppy about a mile from Mom’s cottage.”
Bryan gathered her into a hug, holding her tightly. “I can’t believe you went through all that and still moved here. No wonder you were terrified.”
“Really?” She stared up through moist eyes. “You don’t think I’m a neurotic mess?”
“Jade, anyone who was traumatized the way you were would be terrified of the woods. You were a small child. You should never have been left alone to begin with.”
His words snapped the string holding her guilt together, and it tumbled out, disappearing. Bryan was right. She’d blamed herself for years. She’d disobeyed her mom and followed the boys even though she knew she shouldn’t trust them.
“My niece, Macy, the one you met last night, is six. Would you think less of her if she got lost in the woods for two days?”
“No!” Jade straightened, but Bryan kept his arm around her. She couldn’t imagine anyone luring that sweet child out to the woods.
But I was a child, too. Like her. Small, trusting, but disillusioned.
“How did your mother react?” Bryan caressed her upper arm.
“She yelled at me for not listening, shipped me back to the States with Mimi and has treated me like I’m a disappointment ever since.”
“Maybe that’s her way of dealing with guilt since she dropped the ball at parenting.”
She’d never thought of that before. Could Mom feel remorse over that summer? Was that why she constantly tried to make sure Jade had the right kind of job?
“I don’t know. I love my mom, but I gave up trying to be the perfect daughter.”
“You don’t have to be perfect.” Bryan held her close. “Thanks for confiding in me. I wish you wouldn’t have gone through that. You’re brave.”
She wanted to tell him she wasn’t brave. She was ordinary, average, but maybe she’d been hiding behind those labels, too.
So many things about her life she thought were true had wiggled off the shelf and broken. She didn’t have the energy to examine them all and put them back together. Not now, anyway.
She’d relax in Bryan’s arms and figure it out later.