WE MADE IT TO the campsite, where Midnight and Elise had one tent. Brady and Strawberry had one tent. I glanced at Paxton. Even though I had no problem sharing a tent with him, he’d been very clear in front of the store that we’d have separate tents.
I dumped my stuff on a patch of open ground near the trees and pulled my tent out of the vinyl bag. It reeked like death and was covered in black patches. I flung it away from me and shook my hands in the air. “Ew. Ew. Ew.”
“What’s wrong?” Paxton asked.
“My tent is covered in mold. It must’ve happened when I threw it in the shed after the last time we went camping. But I can ask Elise and Midnight if I can bunk with them, if you’re not comfortable sleeping with me yet,” I said. “They won’t be happy, but they’ll be all right.”
“Why do you think I wouldn’t be comfortable sleeping with you?”
“At the store, you said two tents.”
Paxton tilted my chin up and kissed me. “I only said that to get them off your back. I was hoping you’d just sneak into my tent in the middle of the night.”
My mouth had gone dry. “I guess that settles that.”
“We don’t have to—” Paxton rubbed the back of his neck. “If you want to sleep, and not do other things, I’m totally fine with that. I’m not expecting anything just because we’re sharing a tent.”
Sleeping with Paxton would be way different from sleeping with Lance. My feelings for Lance had been like candlelight, soft and gentle. My feelings for Paxton were a forest fire that could consume me. The old fear of getting in too deep with a boy attached to a town I was determined to escape rose up in me again, but instead of running from it, I faced the irrationality of it. My mom’s history wasn’t my future. My life belonged to me.
I rubbed my hands over his chest. “I like sleep.”
“Sleep is nice.” He swallowed.
“But then again, I really don’t want all those condoms in my backpack to go to waste.”
A really terrible pun about pitching a tent was on the tip of my tongue, but I left Paxton to pick his jaw back up from the ground as I went over to help Elise and Midnight set up the lawn chairs around the fire. Elise and I went into the woods to look for fallen logs for our fire, and I told her about Mom and Roger, leaving out the news about Butch. I’d already promised Paxton he’d get to drop that little gem at a time and place of his choosing.
The air felt fresher than back home. Like this little slice of nature had truly been left untouched. The earthy scent of the forest was so much stronger out here. If I could’ve bottled that smell and kept it with me forever, I would’ve done it in a heartbeat. By the time we got back, Paxton, Brady, and Strawberry were already laughing over Paxton and Strawberry’s awful date. Even Midnight managed to crack a smile.
We passed around a bottle of peach schnapps, Midnight’s new preferred drink, but both Paxton and I only took a few sips. We wanted to be sober for what we had planned after everyone went to bed. Midnight let us all know Jared had been picked up, and refused to post bail, deciding he’d rather sit in jail and await his hearing than deal with Midnight’s brother.
“I heard Travis and his friends took care of Brett and he hasn’t dared to leave his house since,” Strawberry said. “I always did like your brother.”
“It’ll be a long while before Brett shows his face anywhere around town. Which is fine by me,” Midnight said. “Even though I sometimes wonder if he would’ve been decent if not for Jared. I like his parents and siblings.”
“How exactly did Travis take care of Brett?” I asked. I had visions of broken kneecaps and shoving his fingers into a corn shucker, or however else they did things on the farm.
“Travis and his friends stripped Brett down to his briefs and tied him to that big tree outside the feedstore so every farmer in the county would see him before someone cut him loose.” Midnight grinned with wicked delight. “It was really cold that morning.”
“Oh my God.” I didn’t know whether to be pleased or horrified.
Midnight shrugged. “He’s lucky he got to keep his briefs. Travis just wanted to give him a taste of what it felt like to be helpless, so maybe he’d think twice before using his muscles to intimidate anyone smaller than him again.”
“Serves him right.” Strawberry lifted the bottle of schnapps in a silent toast to Travis. “Last summer Jared and Brett thought it would be real funny to open our stables in the middle of the night and let our horses run loose. My brother caught them and they beat the hell out of him for it.”
Strawberry’s brother was only sixteen. I didn’t feel the slightest bit horrified anymore. Brett got exactly what he deserved. It was only a shame that Jared hid in jail, but I had a feeling he’d be getting a visit from Midnight’s brother the moment he got out.
After we did a significant amount of bitching about work, ate two packages of hot dogs grilled over the open fire, and did more bitching, the liquor started to set in for everyone. Paxton still hadn’t revealed the Butch news, and I wondered if he felt bad for Midnight about Jared, or if he just wanted a more advantageous time to drop that bomb. The sun finally set, which meant the mosquitos came out in full force. We had a dozen citronella candles burning, but it didn’t keep those little bloodsuckers from feasting.
Everyone else weaved and swayed toward their tents, while Paxton and I, the only sober ones present, stayed behind to put out the fire. Once the last ember had been snuffed out with a bucket of sand, we went back to our tent.
Paxton laid out his bedroll and covered it with his sleeping bag. One of the camping battery lanterns was half open, illuminating the tent in a low and subtle light. He took off his shirt and pants, leaving his boxers on. My toes tingled as my gaze wandered over the lean muscles in his arms and chest. I’d never seen him in so few clothes. I could get very, very used to the sight of Paxton without any clothes.
I walked over to him on my knees, rubbing my hands over his chest and down his arms. Every plane of his body was firm from doing repairs in the shop and whatever Gigi needed done around the house. He kept his hands to himself while he let me explore him and get used to the feel of his skin, already warm from anticipation. I caught his mouth with my own, gently tugging on his bottom lip with my teeth, and that was all it took for him to pull me against him.
His fingers played with the hem of my tank top as his thumbs dipped under and grazed my bare skin. I shivered. Too many clothes. I had way too many clothes on. I pulled my tank top off and threw it into the corner of the tent, followed immediately by my shorts, until I wore only my nonmatching bra and underwear.
A soft glow lit Paxton’s eyes as I kneeled before him. “You’re gorgeous.”
If the wonder in his voice hadn’t convinced me, the bulge in his boxers certainly did. Keeping my gaze on him, I unhooked my bra and let it fall to the ground. A near animal sound escaped his lips as I approached him.
“I think you’re gorgeous too.” I was already breathless. “How lucky for both of us.”
I kissed him hard and deep, the skin-to-skin contact undoing any amount of restraint I might’ve shown. He lowered us to the ground until I was straddling him, rocking against him with our underwear still between us. His hands touched me everywhere, and a soft sound rose up in my throat as the friction between us built right down the center of me. I cried out as the orgasm hit me fast. I buried my face in his shoulder as the tremors spread to my toes and fingertips. I’d never had one so quickly before, not even on those nights when I gave them to myself.
When I lifted my head, he was smiling up at me. His touch trailed up and down my arms. “That noise you made at the end might be the most beautiful sound in the world.”
I kissed his chest. “We’re not done yet.”
My fingers ran down his stomach, lower, until I pushed his boxers down and took him in my hand. He groaned as I moved my hand up and down, and he was kind enough to return the favor to me. Our gazes locked as we touched each other. It was the most intimate moment in my life. As the heat began to build in me again, I rolled over to my backpack and grabbed a condom out of the side pocket.
Paxton took his boxers all the way off and paused. “Are you sure?”
“Very sure.” I slid my underwear off and threw them next to my tank top. His gaze trailed over me, half glazed, as if he were dreaming while awake. It gave me enough confidence to forget whatever awkwardness I would’ve felt about being wholly naked.
He rolled on the condom, and as I lowered myself onto him, he gripped my hips. “I’ve never done this before.”
“You’re telling me this now?” I rose up until he was no longer inside me, and stretched out beside him. “Are you sure you want to do this? It’s totally fine if you don’t.”
“I’m very sure.” He moved until he was on top of me, between my legs, and as he slid back inside me, he whispered in my ear, “I wanted my first time to be with you.”
I clenched around him, and he gently, slowly made love with me. He kept checking in with me, kept making sure it felt good. As he kissed my neck, I quickened our pace, urging him on faster, until my second orgasm hit me like a wave. Within seconds he followed me, holding me tight while his body shook from the release.
Once we’d stopped trembling, he lay down next to me, tracing light lines up and down my stomach. “I could do this all day, every day, for the rest of my life.”
I leaned my head up and kissed him. “I did bring a whole pack of condoms.”
He laughed. “How presumptuous of you.”
“I like to be prepared.”
“Do I want to know why you keep condoms in your work backpack?” His fingers kept moving around my stomach, over my arms, as if he couldn’t touch me enough. “Did you think we’d end up having sex in the alley behind the store?”
“Maybe. But if I’d known you were a virgin, I would’ve at least put some candles and rose petals out there to make it romantic for you.”
He laughed and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me against him with my back against his chest. He kissed my shoulder. “Does it bother you that I’m a virgin?”
“You’re not anymore. Unless you want to do it again, just to make sure?” I turned slightly, until I could face him and skim my fingers over his jawline. “And no, it doesn’t bother me. I’m actually feeling kind of smug that no one else knows how incredible you are.” I paused. “Does it bother you that I haven’t been a virgin for some time now?”
“No.” He kissed my forehead. “You’re here with me now. That’s all I care about.”
I snuggled back against his chest, and he pulled the sleeping bag over us. I had to agree with him: I could do this all day, every day, for the rest of my life too. As I started to drift off, I could’ve sworn I heard my phone buzzing from deep within my backpack, but whatever it was, it could wait until morning.