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AZRAEL’S dreams were surprisingly pleasant for one who’d had her soul purged. She might have thought she’d died and found paradise, had she not finally awoken to parched, cracked lips and a dull ache running down her spine.
Manor Saffron’s cheery luminescence greeted her with its warm kiss. Azrael blinked and was surprised at the calmness of the room, the stillness of the air as if nothing terrible had ever happened.
But, what had happened? Azrael’s mind shot back to the last moments she could recall. There’d been pain, so much pain, and then an ethereal vision in a place of Light. If it was real, and Azrael had no doubt that it was, what had it done to her?
A creak broke the peaceful silence and Azrael shot a glance at the door. Her shoulders eased when she saw familiar bobbing curls. “Meretta,” Azrael said with a broken sigh.
Meretta’s brows had been tightly knit in a permanent crease of worry, but now light spread across her features and she rushed into the room. “Azrael!” she cried and threw herself to the floor at the bedside. “You have no idea how worried I’ve been!”
Her smile, as always, was extremely contagious, and momentarily drove hardship from Azrael’s mind. “What are you doing here—” Azrael began but choked on the words. She rubbed her throat and tried again. “Are you allowed to be here?”
Meretta winced. “Yes, well, that’s a long story. Let’s just say even Madame herself couldn’t keep me from your side.”
Azrael didn’t dare lift herself up, but allowed her hand to ease across the bed until it gripped Meretta’s firmly. “Thank you, my dearest friend.”
Meretta’s warmth fed Azrael through their wrapped fingers. It felt so good, so right.
“You’ll be Queen,” Meretta said breathlessly. “I still can’t believe it.”
Azrael flushed. “Queen, indeed,” she murmured. “And what of our fair Queen Ceres?” Azrael asked. “How on Terra did you convince her to allow you into the Inner Sanctum?”
Meretta puffed out her chest. “You weren’t going to get better without me. Here I am and here you are. I was right, and she knew it!”
Azrael smiled and rewarded Meretta with a weak laugh.
“I never would have believed the stories of Alexandria were true,” Meretta went on, “This place is remarkable. And you! You’ll get to live here and be able to do whatever you want.” She perked up excitedly. “You could appoint me as a Madame! We could be together, you and me. It’ll be more perfect than our wildest dreams.”
It was all too good to be true. As if to spear reality into the room, her Acceptance violently twinged and the stinging ache finally couldn’t be ignored.
Meretta’s enthusiasm transformed into concern. “I’m so sorry. Here I am babbling on and you must be miserable. I’ll get the Healers right away.”
Just as Meretta jerked to her feet, the Queen stepped into the room. Her orange dress and cascading ringlets of braided hair made her look like a radiant piece of fruit. She paused to consider the girls as she twirled a beaded braid around a ringed finger and eased into a pleased smile. Azrael wondered what kind of royalty she had met with today to call for such attire.
“Ah, my dear Meretta, your bond with Azrael must be close indeed. How could you know she’d awaken?”
Meretta smiled with her typical, undiluted joy. “Sister sense, I suppose. I was just going to get a Healer now that she’s awake.” Her voice lowered as if Azrael wouldn’t hear. “She’s in pain.”
The Queen wafted her hand as if the sentiment was distasteful. “Pain is progress, my dear.”
Azrael made the effort to rise, ignoring the stinging tugs as her gown scraped down her back. “Then I am to make much progress,” Azrael said through gritted teeth.
The Queen nodded in approval. “You have indeed. Divine Material embedment is nothing to be slight about. Your awakening attests to your strength, especially after your first time.” Azrael groaned and stiffened. The Queen continued, “It’s been roughly a week since your session.”
Azrael’s eyelashes fluttered in surprise. “A week?”
“Considering such trauma, it’s completely natural.” The Queen’s scrunched eyebrow suggested that she remembered the pain all too well. “How do you feel about getting some fresh air?”
The skin on Azrael’s back felt jagged and rough, but the way the Queen’s eyes were both demanding and hopeful suggested languishing in bed was not an option. “Yes, I would like to get out of bed for a while. It will do me some good.”
The Queen inclined her head once more in approval. “All right, Meretta, I fear it’s time for you to attend to your own duties. You have permission to visit Azrael tomorrow.”
Meretta stifled a small pout before leaning in and squeezing Azrael’s shoulders. Azrael was grateful she avoided her injuries.
Meretta pressed her lips against her ear. “You know where I’ll be if you need me.” With that, she pulled away, offered a wink, and swept out of the room.
Azrael stared at the doorway for a long while, and her fingers curled to her ear where Meretta had kissed it. She may have made a deal with a demon to get to where she was now, but Azrael had no idea what deal had been struck to bless her with a friend like that.
The Queen continued to stare as well, but not at the doorway. Her gaze was clouded and distant to a place only she could see.
“Majesty, are you feeling all right?”
The Queen jolted in her seat. “Apologies. My mind was elsewhere.”
Azrael pressed her lips together. She knew what weighed on the Queen’s heart. Azrael wasn’t the only one concerned that death had come to call the Queen away.
Thankfully, a knock at the door swept away the dreary moment. The Queen’s posture softened. “That must be Gabriel. He’s so timely.”
In a twirl of various shades of orange flying up past her knees, the Queen answered the door. To Azrael’s horror, she immediately became aware of the thinness of her gown and pulled the silken sheets up to her chin.
Gabriel stepped in and the room seemed to shrink around him. His wings were so enormous, so perfect and the purest of white. The way he held himself was as a god who commanded the very air to stay still. When his gaze landed on Azrael, a hot wave swept over her face and she cursed her pale skin revealing her emotions like a candle.
Gabriel acted as if hadn’t noticed she’d turned as red as a beet under his scrutiny. “You’ve awakened. This is cause for celebration.” In three long strides he was at her bedside. He beamed at Azrael with pride as if she had achieved some great feat. “How do you feel?”
Azrael didn’t want him to know that her back felt like a herd of cats had been using it as a scratching post. “I feel fine,” she said, somehow keeping her voice steady, “and I slept well. I even had some lovely dreams.”
There was a moment of hesitation. He glanced at the Queen inquisitively. There seemed to be a period of unspoken understanding, and the Queen tilted her head as if Azrael had said something interesting.
“Well,” Gabriel said, “I’ll consider that a good omen. When you’re up to it, you should access the Divine Material in your body. Practicing your new abilities will help quicken your healing.”
“My new what?”
Gabriel grimaced. “I’m sorry. It’s been quite a long time since I’ve trained a new Princess.” He drew in a deep breath and beckoned to Queen Ceres, who was stoic in her approach, save for a teasing smirk.
“Majesty, I leave this task in your hands. You are far more deft than I in delicate matters.” He bowed and held a fist to his chest. “I’ll see you soon, my lady.”
Azrael studied his gait as he left the room. The drifting shadow of his elegance held her full attention long after he was gone. Queen Ceres cleared her throat expectantly as Azrael’s eyes lingered on the closed door.
“What Gabriel meant to say, is that Divine Material gives a Queen special abilities. But you knew that already, didn’t you?”
Azrael didn’t take her gaze from the door. “You influence those around you. You have magic, but I don’t, not yet.”
The Queen nodded. “Your Acceptance is incomplete. However, you have gained some of the aptitude to perform true magic. Divine Material is a conduit between one’s soul and the Divine’s power. If you can control the Light, then the possibilities are endless.”
A lengthy breath escaped through Azrael’s nose. Am I fooling myself into believing that I can do this?
The Queen knelt at Azrael’s bedside and caressed her hand. Her touch was gentle and comforting and Azrael met her gaze. There wasn’t intimidation or games dancing in her eyes, just fondness. Never before had Azrael felt more like her daughter.
“Azrael, I can sense your distress. I understand. I remember this very moment when I was you just as if it were yesterday. The doubt and fear are overwhelming, I know. But you must keep your eyes looking ahead and step forward in faith. Your future is waiting for you. All you need do is embrace it.”
A nervous chuckle was Azrael’s only response. Queen Ceres was right about one thing. There was no turning back now.
Carefully, Azrael pulled her legs to the side of the bed. She let her feet dangle until they were met by the cool stone.
The bed shifted as the Queen’s weight was lifted. She took a summer dress that matched her own’s orange shades from the rack. Azrael hadn’t even noticed that the dress was there, but now it held her full attention as the Queen offered the prize. The stitching was so intricate that Azrael couldn’t see the seams even if she squinted. The material rolling over her fingers felt exquisite, the fabric plush and soft. She immediately recognized it as Charmeuse silk, a Manor Saffron specialty.
Neither of them said a word while the Queen dabbed a washcloth in a basin and sponged the dried sweat from Azrael’s skin. It was Healer’s work, and they’d done the best they could while she’d been unconscious. But awake, she could peel off the layers of her crusted robe and not risk further damage.
The water, scented with lavender, gave calm and healing to her weak body. Azrael indulged in the feeling that she was truly the Queen’s daughter, born to ascend her throne, even if she’d hadn’t known it until now. She was almost sad when the Queen was finished and it was time to don her new summer dress.
Azrael’s body was already complaining and tired. Her back ached and her skin felt ragged, drying from the light bath in a way that made it itch. But the moment the Charmeuse silk folded over her skin, she felt relief, a perfect layer of protection from the harsh, humid air.
She could have lain back down and slept for a week again, but the Queen had instilled a new perseverance in Azrael. It wasn’t magic, or any overpowering extension of the Queen’s presence, it was merely the feeling of pride in her charge, as close to a mother and daughter relationship Azrael would ever get.
Dressed and clean, the Queen and Azrael slowly made their way to the gardens and Azrael still couldn’t put aside her fascination with the Inner Sanctum. Azrael had always known there were areas off-limits in the Manor. She’d never understood how it was possible none of the rambunctious and unruly Windborn had never even considered exploring them. But then, it was probably the Queen’s influence that had kept them all at bay. A sense of giddiness washed over her as they traveled onward through the halls.
Grand glass doors separated them from an immaculate garden. They swept inside and Azrael could hardly contain her excitement. The fountains were full of fish that darted and shimmered under silver lily pads. Bent trees boasted sleeping finches that ignored her presence. Azrael was engulfed by the scent of lavender and alyssum as she made her way through the secret paradise. She couldn’t help but miss Meretta, for she dearly loved flowers.
Past a line of apple trees and across from the largest fountain that marked the center of the garden, Gabriel was awaiting their arrival. Now, in the sunlight, she could see the way his white eyelashes framed his crystal eyes. He watched the skies, seemingly looking for something. Distracted.
When he noticed their entrance, his features lit up in a way that made Azrael’s heart skip a beat. How could he express so much joy in one single smile? And more still, how could that joy possibly be connected to her?
“That dress suits you well,” Gabriel said. He motioned to a beautifully crafted set of benches past the peaceful fountain. “Sit with me.”
She shot a glance to the Queen for guidance, not sure of herself when she was around the angel. The Queen only smiled, again with that knowing smile, and guided her to the stone bench.
“Azrael,” he began once she had settled, “you have Divine Material within you now. The power of Light has been infused with your body, opening the gates between your soul and the very power that sustains creation.”
Azrael nodded nervously, and noticed that the Queen was taking her leave. Guilt rose in her chest as she remembered that she was not the Queen’s only concern.
Gabriel continued, “First, you need to open a pathway in your mind.” He waited for Azrael’s acknowledgment to continue. She nodded once to comply, even though she wasn’t sure what he meant.
“Close your eyes, concentrate. Feel the connection. Ignite the flame that lies dormant in your soul and open the pathway.”
She sighed and focused as instructed. She reached deep within herself, searching for this so-called connection. Long moments passed where she felt nothing. She opened her eyes.
“I’m sorry. I don’t think I can,” she whispered.
He patted her shoulder. Azrael shivered at the warmth of his touch that immediately seeped through the thin Charmeuse silk. “You were raised on this mortal plane. Even though you are Windborn, these abilities will not come easily to you.”
Azrael shifted her weight, struck with an intense desire to impress him. “Shall I try again?”
He nodded. “The sooner you are able to establish a connection, the sooner you will heal and the sooner you will be able to complete the Acceptance.”
Azrael didn’t have to be wise to read between those lines. The Acceptance was dangerous. Any obstacles she could eliminate, such as lengthy recovery time, would give her a much better chance to survive.
Azrael closed her eyes and tried again. She reached deep within herself, deeper than before. Desperately, she tried to focus. She filled her lungs with air and held it. She commanded with all her strength to find a connection that she knew must exist somewhere inside herself. Instead, she was met with only cold loneliness as she was forced to push the air back out.
For the better part of the day, she struggled on. She needed to survive, for Meretta, for herself, for Queen Ceres...for Gabriel.
As the sun crawled high overhead, servants brought them drink and nourishment. Azrael’s lack of success barely allowed the thought of food settling in her stomach. But after Gabriel’s stern insistence, she took short breaks to nibble on the delicacies: fruit cut into shapes, tiny pastries with frosting, and bits of salted meat on a stick, all washed down with iced water flavored with strawberries. Any other day in her life she would have enjoyed the treat. But today the morsels crumbled in her mouth, dry and without taste. The water tasted too sweet, and she longed for something simple.
Azrael found herself distracted under Gabriel’s haunting stare. She even said as much, and with a blush he wandered the gardens to leave her alone to try again. Even without his scrutiny, her incomplete Acceptance remained pained, cold, and empty. The air was thick with dusk when she felt Gabriel’s hand rest once again on her shoulder.
“Don’t be disappointed,” he offered. “It’ll be easier when you have more Divine Material at your disposal. It may be that you don’t have enough to spark the flame within you.”
She hung her head low. “What if I never can do what Queen Ceres can do?” Fear had already begun to constrict her chest and cast fresh black spots across her vision. What if she failed?
“That’s possible,” Gabriel confirmed after a moment. “Not every Princess gains access to the powers of the Light, even with a completed Acceptance.”
Her lungs struggled to draw in air. “How many fail to gain true magic?”
He didn’t look at her, but stared at the grass. The curve of his nose was so perfect, the way the ridge lined up with his eyebrow. When his deep blue eyes looked into hers, she knew she wouldn’t like the answer.
“That is a question for another day.” He brushed his fingers through his hair and the motion sent the white strands sparkling in the dying light. “You’ve only gone through one session. Don’t be too hard on yourself.” He stretched his wings, the full length of them spanning three times as long as Azrael could reach, fingertip-to-fingertip. “I believe I have tormented you enough today. Surely, you long to rest?”
Azrael was exhausted. And even though she didn’t want to depart from the angel’s presence, she welcomed the thought of a warm bath and smooth sheets. The very idea set herself into a yawn and she jerked her hand to cover her mouth. Gabriel smirked, satisfied with her answer.
“Will we continue again tomorrow?” she asked.
“Unfortunately, I must depart the Manor. And while I’m gone, you must prepare yourself for your next session. The Acceptance must begin again before the next moon’s phase changes.”
She winced, not relishing the thought of the Hallowed’s needles. She wanted to plead for him to stay with her, to postpone such terrible agony. Instead, she said, “I understand.”
Gabriel rose to leave, but then paused to give her a warning glance as his wings curled into his back. “If you should feel the need to visit the public ward, I warn you to keep your new status to yourself.” He leaned in. “While I am pleased a hybrid will be Queen, most would not.”
Azrael swallowed and was glad when Gabriel leaned back and smiled, causing the gloom in the air to vanish. Before she could think of a reply, he unfurled his majestic wings and thrust them toward the ground. He launched and a cloud of dust fanned around them. And then she was alone, peering into the sky as an angel took flight from Manor Saffron’s gardens. She hoped she could revisit this scene in her dreams.
Her eyes lingered on the skies long after he’d disappeared. Alone, she hugged herself against the cold. The world felt less beautiful, less safe.
She made herself shrug off the disappointment. She attempted to rise gracefully, to at least pretend to match the beauty she’d just seen. But she felt like a toad croaking up from a mud patty rather than the trained Windborn that she was.
With conflicting emotions, she made her way out of the gardens, feeling defeated and a bit lost. The rest of the evening’s hopes seemed empty and cold.
Despite Gabriel’s warning, Azrael found that at the bend back to her chambers, her feet took a sharp left, and hustled her toward a place with far too many enemies...but one, single friend. And just now, a friend was exactly what she needed.