Chapter Three

Ghost Image (n.) In time exposure photography, an object that is only partially recorded on the film and therefore has a translucent, ghostlike appearance. Ghosting also occurs when using electronic flash at a slow shutter speed and a second image is captured on the film by ambient light.

You have two new messages. First message received Thursday, May 26th at 5:20 p.m.

“Hello Scott, it’s Jason. Missed you today, something must have come up for you, so I thought I’d check in. Also wanted to mention that if your hands and feet are cold, you can fill up a sock with raw rice and pop it in the microwave for a bit? It’ll get warm, and you can hold on to it or tuck that under your feet when you’re, you know, on the couch or wherever. Do me a favour, please don’t put rocks in the microwave. I had a patient once who thought he—” beep

Next message received Thursday, May 26th at 5:21 p.m.

“Hi, Jason again, I got cut off, so I’ll say quickly—tea counts for water, so heat up a cuppa and hold on to that too. Two birds, one stone and all that. Monica tells me you didn’t reschedule when you called to cancel, so I’d like to put you down for next Monday the first at two. Hope to see you then. And remember, you can call me on my mobile if you need to, 078149667. Take care.”

Good day, you have reached the office of Dr Jason Andrews. Our office hours are Monday through Friday, 8:00 a.m. until 5:00 p.m. If you need immediate assistance, please dial 078149667. Press one to leave a detailed message, and we will return your call during regular office hours.

“Dr Andrews, it’s Scott. I, um…I guess I’m doing well with the water, and I’m doing mostly well with the diet…though there was cake that couldn’t be avoided yesterday. Also, ice cream. And there was some pizza before that. There was a thing my sister threw for, you know, getting my splint off. So, about Monday—I think I told you that I have a new physio now? She’s pretty good, I guess. She’s…well, she’s kind of a very large drill sergeant in a tiny package. She’s Irish, and I’m a little terrified of her if I’m honest? But she’s really all right, so…anyway, I don’t know if I need to see you anymore? So. But thank you, again, for checking on—” beep

You have one new message and two saved messages. New message received Friday, May 27th at 9:44 a.m.

“Scott, it’s Jason. You decided to celebrate, hmm? Good. You didn’t seem much in the mood when you left on Monday, so I’m glad to hear it. Pizza never hurts, I agree. Glad to hear you’re continuing your physiotherapy. From the sound of it she’s putting you through your paces. Any case, please call me back when you can so I can update your file with her name and contact information. Thank you. Talk to you soon. Take care.”

You have two new messages and three saved messages. First new message received Friday, May 27th at 6:06 p.m.

“Hi Scott, it’s Jason. So, I didn’t get a return call from you, and…well. There’s this thing I have about starting something and leaving it unfinished. You’ve seen enough doctors, so I don’t need to tell you what we’re like. Monstrously large egos and all that. And usually an acute aversion to failure. I like to think I’m not like the rest, but…there you have it. Also, I need to say that I am sorry if I overstepped. I thought talking about it would help, but if you don’t want to, that’s all right. But I’d like to keep working on your shoulder. I hope you’ll reconsider. Monday, 2:00 p.m. if you’re up for it. And if nothing else, please try to drink your water—” beep

Next message received Friday, May 27th at 6:08 p.m.

“Hi, me again. Please do the jaw exercises. Those are going to be your best remedy for your headaches and will help you sleep. And do exactly what the sergeant tells you to do—unless there’s pain, in which case, well, don’t. It would be lovely if you’d call to fill me in. Thanks.”

Good day, you have reached the office of Dr Jason Andrews. Our office—beep

“Dr Andrews, hi. It’s Scott. Um, I’m doing fine, I think, most of the time. The rice trick works, and I’m sleeping better now, so that’s good, right? Having some weird dreams, but I’ve only had one headache since Tuesday, I guess because I’m pretending to be drunk an awful lot. I taught Thomas how, and he’s excellent at it too. My sister Olivia thanks you very much for that, by the way. The sergeant said I’m looking good. The elbow and shoulder range of motion looks okay for now. She’s making me do some stuff for my knees too. You know, I think you two would agree on a lot of things, but her methods are, hmm, how should I say? A bit…I mean, she’s more…ugh. I guess she’s not as gentle. As you.”

You have one new message and five saved messages. New message received Saturday, May 28th at 10:12 a.m.

“So, you’re sleeping well. Excellent! I waited to call hoping I wouldn’t wake you. Call me back and tell me one of your dreams. Or you can tell me Monday at two. This is Jason. I’m home.”

Good day, you have reached the office of—beep

“Hi, it’s Scott here. You wanted a dream report, which is weird, but all right, here you go. I had this one where I was back at uni, in my documentary photography class, but we were outside Saint Patrick’s Cathedral, you know, in New York? I went there once to shoot a cop’s funeral, and in the dream, it was like that, all draped in black with flowers and a hearse. Anyway, we were all there, waiting outside, and it’s time to get our cameras out, and I don’t have mine. And the professor is going on and on about composition and light, and I’m thinking, Shit, how am I gonna do this? Then I start to panic because I’m gonna fail the assignment. And then I remember. My camera is smashed to pieces in my cupboard, in London. How am I meant to tell my professor that my camera broke—” beep “—while I was working…in Afghanistan?”

Good day, you’ve reached the—beep

“So, another one. This was from a couple nights ago. I’m at uni again, Golds, in the studio presenting my photo essay final. Except there’s nobody else in the classroom but me, and it’s the middle of the night. Then I feel this tapping on my shoulder, and sitting behind me is Omran. He’s saying, ‘We’re going to be late.’ And I’m like, ‘I’ve got to do an exam,’ and he’s bugging me, ‘Come on, we’ve got to go. We’re gonna miss it,’ shaking my shoulder. Then some professor lady I’ve never seen before comes in, points this stupid laser pointer at me and says, ‘Do you have something to share?’ And I turn around to tell him to wait for me—” beep “—until after the exam, but he’s already gone.”

Good day, you’ve re—beep

“Okay, one more. I’m walking down this narrow street in New Delhi, right, near Chawri Bazaar? It’s dusk, and there’re so many beautiful colours—the saris and the canopies of the booths…it’s gorgeous, you know? So I’m about to take some pictures, and then this bike comes toward me, weaving through all these people, with a big basket of purple and pink and yellow flowers in the front. And it’s…it’s Omran, driving this amazing, rickety old red bike. So he…he stops right next to me. And…I’m so…relieved to see him, you know? I mean he’s…right there and he… and…sorry—” beep

Good day—beep

“Um, sorry. So…so he looks really happy, you know, just…radiating. I say, ‘Omran, I thought you were in Kabul!’ And…he shakes his head, and then he asks me to take a picture of him. And I’m thinking, Yes, yes, let me get a picture of you before you go! But my camera’s hot suddenly. It’s burning my hands, and I can’t hold it. So I drop it, and the case cracks against the pavement and…he smiles at me, and waves, and he rides away. And I feel bad because I didn’t get his picture, and…I know I won’t get another chance. I reach down—” beep “—to get it, and I see your feet. In your trainers. You’re standing there. And. You’re young, you know, wearing your footie kit, and you’re smiling at me, like you’re happy to see me or something. And that’s when I woke up.

“So. You’re trying, I know, you’re gonna try your best to help me, I see that.

“But. You know…what if I do get better? I mean…Omran’s dead. He’s gone. And if I’m back to normal, well then…that’s not fair, is it? Won’t I be leaving him behind? I never got his picture. It’s wrong of me to…I don’t want to…forget him. When I’m at yours, I feel like I do forget, and it’s like I’m walking away from him, you know? And I can’t let that happen. So.”

You have two new messages and six saved messages. New message received Saturday, May 28th at 3:50 p.m.

“Hi Scott. I’ve been thinking about your dreams. I actually played them back a few times, and…you know, what happened to you is…it’s massive, and I meant it when I told you that I would help you work through it. I still want to. If you don’t, that’s really okay. But I’ll just put this out there. I think that maybe you don’t have to give up that heavy thing you’re carrying. Maybe, for now, we could work on you putting it down every once in a while. Maybe that’s enough. Just consider it. Talk to you soon. I mean, I hope to hear from you soon.”

Next message received Saturday, May 28th at 3:55 p.m.

“Hey, I forgot, I wanted to run something else by you. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Hmm? Because he wasn’t peeling well. Tell Thomas that one. Just let me know if you’re coming Monday or not, yeah? If you want, you could call me on my mobile? 078149667. I’ll be here.

Good day, you have reached the office of Dr Jason Andrews. Our office hours are Monday through Friday, 8:00—beep

“I have bad news. Thomas didn’t even laugh at your joke. Like, not even a snigger. I thought it was a decent try, but he said you’re gonna have to work on it. Sorry. He has high standards for an eight-year-old. Anyway, um…so this is going to sound weird. Well, I think it’s weird, you probably won’t. So, there’s this…way that I am, or I mean, way that I used to be that I can get back to when I’m at yours. It’s really like…being awake, you know? And my sister said she misses that part. Of me. But I can’t get there anywhere else. I’ve tried, and…well. I promised her I’d keep trying. So, I’ll come tomorrow if you still have me down. Okay. Thanks. Again. Right. Uh, g’night.”

You have one new message and eight saved messages. New message received Sunday, May 29th at 8:27 p.m.

“Hi. Thanks for calling. You’re right. I don’t think it’s weird. I think it’s brave. I’ll see you tomorrow.”