It is so nice to have someone to mourn properly. And now I am eleven and old enough to wear a proper mourning dress, it is even better. Dear Auntie would have been so touched to see me dressed like this, and Papa got tears in his eyes when he saw me ‘looking so much like my dear sister’.
I have studied The Queen and Cassell's very carefully so that I will not make any mistakes, and I have even written my own manual to help out other girls in my position who may have questions about the correct etiquette for mourning. I asked Maude to help me but she was not interested. Sometimes she will go on about constellations, or planets, or stones she has found in the Heath, or plants in her mother's garden, until I just want to scream.
So I have had to do it all myself. I think it has turned out very well — at least Mama says so. I have written it in my best script on black-edged paper, and I got Ivy May to draw an angel on the cover. Her drawing is quite good, and the book looks very handsome. I am going to copy the text below so that I shall always have it.
The Complete Guide to Mourning Etiquette
by Miss Lavinia Ermyntrude Waterhouse
It is a very sad thing when someone dies. We mark the occasion with mourning. We wear special black clothes and black jewellery, we use special stationery for letters, and we do not go to parties or concerts.
Mourning lasts different lengths of time depending upon the loved one who has died.
The Widow mourns the longest because she is the saddest. What a terrible thing it is to lose a husband! She mourns for 2 years — 18 months full mourning, 6 months half-mourning. Some ladies mourn for longer. Our own late Queen wore mourning for her husband Albert for the rest of her life — forty years!
How sad it is for a mother to lose her child, or a child her mother. They mourn for 1 year.
For brothers and sisters — 6 months
For grandparents — 6 months
Uncles and aunts — 2 months
Great-uncles and great-aunts — 6 weeks
First cousins — 4 weeks
Second cousins — 3 weeks
It is very important to obtain proper mourning clothes. They must be new, and they must be burned after mourning, because it is bad luck to keep them in the house.
Jay's on Regent Street is where all good London families buy their mourning clothes.
Ladies wear dresses made of best paramatta silk and trimmed with crape for full mourning of their husbands, parents, or children. For grandparents and brothers and sisters, ladies wear plain black silk trimmed with crape. For everyone else ladies wear black with no crape.
Ladies wear black gloves and carry white handkerchiefs edged with black.
After a time they can take off the crape. This is called ‘slighting’ the mourning.
Then there is half-mourning. Ladies wear grey or lavender or violet, or black and white stripes. Their gloves are grey as well.
Jewellery
During full mourning ladies may wear jet brooches and earrings. The brooches may be adorned with the hair of the loved one. In half-mourning ladies may wear a little gold, silver, and pearls and diamonds.
Paper for writing must have a black edge. It is very important that the edge should be wide enough to honour the loved one, but not so wide as to be vulgar.
Gentlemen
Gentlemen wear what they normally wear to work but also wear black hatbands, black cravats, and black gloves. They do not wear jewellery.
Children (under ten)
Children may wear black if they wish, but most often they wear white dresses, and sometimes lavender or mauve or grey. They may wear gloves. Children over ten should wear full mourning.