Step 3
Looking And Living The Part
Hey Good Lookin’
We’re all victims of a sex obsessed world. Your appearance has a direct impact on your love life. Looking good means you stand a better chance of getting sex. (Cheering and whooping please!) But you already know that, so I’m not going to lecture you about every product on the market. Nor do I expect you to gad about like the God of Gucci, or morph into a sartorial joke. But since we all agree that man-ity – men’s vanity –how you dress and present yourself is absolutely vital to your seduction kit, let’s step it up a notch.
Let’s start with your sense of style. Are you a Mr Retrosexual: a Martini drinking, dapper dude who wears bespoke suits of devastating sharpness? No? I didn’t think so. Never mind! Possibly you’re the broad shouldered, square jawed, grey flecked embodiment of handsomeness? Or a modern, masculine guy who dresses neatly but simply? Great! But think beyond the superficial look you’re rocking. What’s your vibe? Your style? And more importantly will it make those willowy, swishy haired girls fall at your feet?
Women make an extraordinary effort to look good. She’s probably had two weeks of back to back beauty treatments to look that good, and it’s mainly I might add, to thrill the collective YOU. So it wouldn’t hurt to pay attention next time you see some hot babe whose style and attitude is heaving with more insolence than Pippa Middleton’s bum. In fact every time you see a woman shimmering ‘n’ blinging ‘n’ zinging with all the bells ‘n’ whistles, and looking gorgeous in the process, you should respond by kicking out a few jams yourself. That’s not too much to ask is it? If she looks good and she knows it – you should match that.
You already know that style isn’t just about clothes. The way you put yourself together gives us the most direct visual cue about you: it’s an extension of your personality, a form of self-expression, a way to reveal yourself and your way of looking at the world, without saying a thing. It’s the ability to create your own look and carry off the easy swagger that comes with knowing you’re well turned out. It’s the way you wear an outfit and how you carry yourself that makes you look confident. The ability to wear something that makes you stand tall with your shoulders back and feel ‘yeah!’Yet, they say the most intelligent men attach the least importance to the way they dress – please say it’s not true! You need to make an effort for women. Why?
Generally speaking male vanity is appreciated by fashion loving females; even though we don’t necessarily understand men’s fashion, on account of the fact that you only seem to wear a variation of shirts and jeans! We do have certain expectations when it comes to how you look. And when we meet you for the first time, we will size you up, and form an instant impression based on your overall sense of style and image. From that we will be able to deduce that, ‘Aha/ You’ve actually put some effort into this!’ It shows you’ve got healthy self-esteem! Tick box please! So whatever you think – we are paying attention. If we like what we see, we might even smile at you across the room.
The big question is – how motivated are you to bother about looking your best? And how hard are you working the connection between looking good and meeting women? Because if you’re not, your outfit selection will put you at a severe disadvantage in the pulling field. The thing is, as long as you’re serious about this crazy little notion of looking good and attracting women effortlessly, there are a trillion ways to go about it, but it does takes time and planning. You really need to commit to being consistently appealing with an upbeat self-image. That means you might need to rethink your current look.
Women have a trillion weird and wonderful quirks when it comes to what they like and what they don’t. It goes without saying that the way you look and present yourself is appealing to a particular type of woman. Generally though, women are attracted to guys whose sense of style reveals something about them – the appeal of a chap with individuality is not to be underestimated. Some girls like their preppy boys, while others like their men to be all dirty rock n roll: grizzled, tattooed and hairy. Others go for skinny jeans and floppy fringes, while some want for nothing more than a buff butt in fitted Levis and quality T-Shirt over hairless chest. Or we might be turned off by your wholesome top-to-toe peppiness and want to get in there and rip your t-shirt right up while we muss your hair and scuff up your sneakers!
If on the other hand you’re rocking a bohemian indie look that’s frankly bordering on minging, and you’re mistaken for a homeless fella whilst waiting for the tube, then, you might want to clean up your act up a little. By all means go ahead and unleash your inner rockstar, but know that few women will appreciate you looking like you’ve just emerged from three days of feral sex in a tent.
Likewise if you’re trying to be someone you’re NOT with your style choices that will be evident as well. Maybe you’re kitted out in preppy loafers purely because you heard they’re bang on trend, or rocking a ruffled devil-may-care attitude topped off with a: “The More I Drink, The Better You Look” T-Shirt? If so, you might want to rethink that. Your sense of style and the clothes you wear should represent the person you are – that way there’s less chance of confusion later.
Whilst some women are only looking at your logos and labels, just the shallow ones, most are more interested in the kind of person you are. Certainly if you reveal your wealth and status with loads of designer bling tumbling off you, then of course you will attract a certain kind of woman. Likewise if you wear your most rumpled McScruffy clobber everywhere, you should know what to expect. It’s a matter of personal taste. You can’t possibly know what tickles her fancy. The best you can do is stick to the style that feels right for you. By the same token, if you find yourself fancying a woman who doesn’t respond well to your image, or suggests endless ways to make you change, you might be best to accept that she’s not ‘getting’ you. If she’s not getting you, you have to ask yourself if you’re in the right situation. Take that one step further and, if you find a woman who is desperate to change you, or more insidiously, ‘mould’ you, you should be hearing alarm bells.
Her doggedness to change you is likely to be part of a much bigger issue about power games and control issues. If you buckle and go along with it, it could develop into all sorts of simmering resentment down the track. If she doesn’t approve of your look and you comply with her wishes, you’re setting a precedent for the future – where she can walk all over you. At which point I’ve got just one thing to say – if you’re happy with the look you’re rocking, then Men, stand your ground! Having said that, if all you ever get is negativity about your sense of style, you might want to rethink it.
Livvy is one fearless and bold woman, I’m not sure of her age but I’d say late 30s – and sassy is the word. She is a looker and oh boy, does she have the confidence to work it. Her style is a full on sexy diva vibe. She’s all skimpy skirts, long legs, killer heels and tiny tops. If you saw Livvy in action you would either go in for the kill, or run in the other direction. That’s because the Livvies of the world aren’t for everyone. It’s a brave man (or a very drunk man) who makes an approach. And perhaps not surprisingly, Livvy attracts the players which as it turns out, suits her quite well. You see she’s one of those women who is very clear about the kind of guy she will and won’t talk to. Her specifications are very narrow. He needs to be kitted out in gold chains and designer garb for starters. We are talking major bling. Anything less than that falls under her radar. The thing about Livvy is that thinks she’s England’s answer to Beyoncé. Advance her by all means, and so long as you’re rocking a look that’s as bold as hers, you’ll be fine. If not, good luck!
Style Guru
When it comes to revamping your image, a woman’s opinion is crucial. So no matter how sharp you think your style, no doubt you could do with some insider’s advice. I’m talking straight from the horse’s mouth. That’s where your Style Guru comes into it, someone who will advise on grooming and fashion choices. If there isn’t a friendly female at hand, consider asking a work pal or a family member whose taste you trust. Since you’re looking for someone in your demographic, you might want to move on from your mum, unless she is a proper professional style guru of course.
Ask your lady friend her opinion on everything, from aftershave to shoes, suits and shirts. Chances are you think you look OK once you’re all suited and booted but the reality is, you can probably look a hell of a lot better. Women are sticklers for detail. Your image reveals more about your personal habits, than you might like to think. Lose your shyness and invite a platonic lady friend to accompany you on a shopping trip. Do your research first and take along magazine cut-outs, or pictures of the looks you like. It could save you a lot of money on ‘impulse buys’ – those items you buy and never, ever wear.
Study old photos and pick out your favourite looks. What do you like best about the way you looked at that time? What about the way you look now? Be honest! Once you accept the way you are now, and your potential, you’ll be better positioned to restyle yourself. Likewise, until you are clear about your best assets, you won’t be able to showcase them. Nor will you succeed in improving your weaknesses until you’ve identified them – only then can you proceed in a productive way.
If you don’t have a style guru sorted out, then one alternative – only for the very brave – is to hit the stores and once you’ve selected something to try on, collar a woman passer-by for her opinion. And before you gasp and say: ‘I couldn’t possibly!’ Hear me out because personally speaking, I get this a lot, at least once every couple of weeks, and I never think anything of it. I’ve been asked for advice on suits, shirts, belts, ties – you name it. I’m always happy to help out with the female point of view. In fact I’m delighted.
Initially you need to look to the area that needs the most work and embark upon a quick self-critique. How is your wardrobe doing? Is it a DUD: Dated? Uninspired? Dreary? All a bit of the Emperor with No Clothes syndrome? Are you well overdue for some well fitted trousers and cheerful shirts in flattering colours? There’s a lot to be gained by trying new looks and revamping yourself through wardrobe adjustments. Eventually you’ll get to the point where, through trial and error, you will look and feel cool. Think about the colours and styles that will liven up your wardrobe and make you feel like the Mati-freakin-Hara. It’s fine to mix up styles and colours – so long as you know what you’re doing. Plan a trip to your local H & M store, or get online at a dependable menswear website, like, www.mrporter.com, and acquire some new attire ASAP!
Once you’ve thought about how you would like to look, ask yourself how close that is to the look you’re currently rocking? And is that look working for you? Or do you look like you’re trying too hard when you go out to chat up girls? Perhaps you shuffle uncomfortably in a get up that looks eye-wateringly cool, but makes you feel awkward and self-conscious? Or you might be guilty of committing illegal fashion crimes? If so, how would you know that? Fashion choices are personal. You should wear whatever you want. Just wear it with flair.
Be realistic, there are rules about how to dress:
• Low slung jeans with five inches of pants showing are fine – if you’re under 18
• Skin-tight vests are fine – if you’ve got the body of an Olympian athlete
• Sandals with socks are fine – if you’re a Norwegian farmer
• Collared shirts with round neck jumpers are fine – if you’re a Vicar
• Army fatigues are fine – if you’re hiking in rural England
• Tummy ticklers or tank-tops are fine – if you’re a 14 year old girl
• Cravats, tartan trousers and bow-ties are fine – if you can pull it off
• Bare chests are fine for the beach or the pool – and that’s all
Get my drift?
What about Accessories, Eh?
Wearing quirky accessories is useful for a couple of reasons, firstly it gives us a peek inside your personality; secondly it gives us something that we can comment on, women do it all the time and it makes it easier for you! So it makes sense that by wearing accessories, you give us something to compliment; otherwise it’s difficult when all we’ve got to work with is, “Nice shirt, nice shoes, nice shirt, nice…erm”
It’s not just what you wear either, it’s what you carry as well, and it works both ways. By accessorising well you’re drawing attention to yourself and making it easier for someone to notice you. Likewise when you spot someone you fancy and they’re accessorising madly, they’re literally giving you a reason to saunter over and say ‘Wow, I love your...”
So rather than spluttering, “But, but, but… I’m a bloke! I wouldn’t be seen dead in accessories” hear me out. I’m not suggesting you wear strands of string bangles and Puka shells, I’m talking about proper fashion forward accessories as ice-breakers and conversational props.
Take as your inspiration the James Bond themed fashion shows. Thanks to the age of technology and gadgets which have taken centre stage, we have more opportunities than ever to reveal something quirky about our personality. Attention-grabbing accessories and interesting bits and bobs can be worn as well as carried, from iPods and crazily coloured earphones, to shoes that shout Attitude, statement ties and slogan T-Shirts, snug fitting jeans, fingerless gloves, hats, and skilfully tailored dinner jackets – they all work as ice-breakers.
My good friend Lynette met her guy at the Isle of Wight music festival. He was wearing a Kings of Leon T-Shirt. She loves Kings of Leon. Bingo! Another smartly shod friend became infatuated with a guy she kept running into on the train platform. She was smitten by his vast array of quirky ties. Finally she found it within herself to go up and compliment him. As it turns out he’d been admiring her as well. Yess!
Anoushka, another good friend in her early 30s has announced that she will only date guys who wear watches. What the?? Ask her why and she’ll tell you that she can’t see herself being with a guy who depends on his mobile phone to find out the time. She just prefers someone who makes the effort to wear a watch. Fair enough! Another friend Lisa says she will only date guys who wear preppy loafers and polo shirts – even on the weekend. I told her that David Cameron is spoken for!
Thanks to my job I spend a lot of time trawling London’s cafes and bars which puts me in the perfect position to experiment with what works and what doesn’t. And I can tell you right now, accessorising works, big time, regardless of whether you’re male or female. I get comments all the time. I make it easy for guys by accessorising. They find ways to get my attention by noticing the props whether it’s my pink mini-laptop and matching phone, a blinging pair of shoes, a book, an interesting looking bag or a travel guide – it doesn’t matter what it is. What matters is that you carry something around that’s worth commenting on. Anything that says, “I’m interesting. Really!”
And be on the lookout for women who are wearing, or carrying props. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been sitting, tapping away at my keyboard and men’s curiosity gets the better of them – they use that as part of their approach. I provide the props, they comment on them. It’s a team effort! So when you notice a woman wearing something amazing, or carrying something that you can comment on – recognise that moment and jump on it. Hopefully, she’ll do the same!
And it’s not just what you wear, it’s also what you drink. According to Christina Hendricks from Mad Men: “We want you to order Scotch. “It’s the most impressive drink order. It’s classic. It’s sexy. Such a rich colour. The glass, the smell. It’s not watered down with fruit juice. It’s Scotch. And you ordered it.”
Do you tick her shoebox?
So you know that women judge a man on his shoes, right? “Yes, yes.” You groan. “We learnt that when we were five.” Good! Because If you want sex – you need to wear good shoes. It really is that simple. Hands down, this is the most important accessory you can have. Don’t be shy about investing big-time here because you will dazzle us blind if you get this right. This is where the best statements are made – a fact the fashion industry have cottoned onto. There’s your everyday shoe, and your dress shoe, but whether you put on your blue suede shoes, loafers, Docs or wing-tip brogues, dress to impress – shoes must be quality and they must be shiny. My good friend Joe has the most incredible shoe collection, and no matter where he is, or what he’s doing, he’s always rocking a pair of the super shiniest red or electric blue pointy-toes and he gets complimented on them everywhere he goes. He’s practically famous for them! That will make anyone feel good. C’mon Twinkle toes!
Sock horror!
• Invest in 10 pairs of matching socks
• Buy just one pair of look-at-me-shoes
• Prepare in advance so you’re never caught unawares
• Splash out on a suit that makes you look and feel better than ever
• Update your pants drawer!
It’s All Pants!
Are you a style scrooge? Do you live in blissful oblivion of Armani and scrimp on your pants and get around in saggy greying Y-fronts? If so you need to update as a matter of urgency! And you need to think laterally. You will find a treasure chest of fun in the Men’s Underwear department of any store. From men’s girdles to Bum Holders: pants with engineering to keep your bum nice and perky to Booster Pants that come with their own inbuilt ‘package’, I kid you not! You can buy a bigger package if you’re not happy with what nature bestowed on you. Of course I’m not entirely sure what happens if you get lucky, and your playmate discovers that, ‘Oops!’ that ‘package’ was a little misleading. You could argue that it’s no different to the wonder bras that women have been wearing since the year dot, and you would be right. But I don’t know, somehow, that seems a little less weird! And there’ll be no Budgie Smugglers thanks, in fact when it comes to trunks, think about it before you go and flash your best bits. Just because Daniel Craig can get away with it, doesn’t mean you can!
X-Factor Judge and hottie Kelly Rowland is a big fan of the English lad and has quite the thing for British lads’ erm, behinds. “Have you seen how cute they wear their pants [trousers]?” She said to Cosmopolitan. “All neat and tight” Apparently she also has a soft spot for fellow judge, Gary Barlow’s hiney (her word). At this rate, it could be yours next!
Five Things To Know About Men’s Stuff…
• Booster Pants come with their own inbuilt ‘package’
• You can buy Men’s girdles, or `Guy-dles’ in any dept store
• Bum Holders are pants with engineering to keep your bum perky
• Guy-liner is eye-liner made for men
• Man-scara is mascara made for men
• Man-kini –Never to be worn by anyone other than Sacha Baron Cohen!
• VPL is your Visible Penis Line
Get Your Strawberries Out There Lad!
Doing something racy and risqué to transform your appearance can lead to all sorts of adventures, so why not transform yourself with a look that you’ve always aspired to, but never been brave enough to try? Whether that’s a new hairstyle, a piercing, or a tattoo. If you do crave a tattoo, be sure to think it through first, since tattoos aren’t just for Christmas. Likewise any permanent or semi-permanent changes you make to your body will encourage others to form the basis of their opinion about you. Tattoos and piercings are a very personal taste, whether you want to pierce your tongue or your privates – it’s a niche look. As a result, you will limit your appeal in the marketplace. Simply put, some girls will find it absolutely the most yuck thing in the world. Others will find it the biggest turn on. And since you never know where you’re going to put your winky, you might want to think about before doing anything rash!
Tattoos
Choose your design and take a photo into the consultation – before making an appointment to get anything done.
Visit up to two or three different places for a consultation to suss out the practitioner as you’re likely to end up spending hours and hours with them, so it’s important you meet them first, and see if you like them.
• Give yourself a ‘cooling off’ period before you pay your deposit
• Don’t do it while you’re drunk or otherwise enhanced!
• Props & Icebreakers to kick some flirting ass
• Hat/Scarf/Statement belt
• Pocket Watch/Key Chain Distinctive Cuffs/Tie Pin
• Cigarette holder/lighter
Spex In The City
Johnny Depp knows how to rock a pair of glasses, and there’s absolutely no reason you can’t. If you’re sporting unflattering eye-wear, don’t! Ditch the glasses that cramp your style and take your Style Guru along on a mission to select a new pair. Specsavers offer an in-store computerised camera service for this exact purpose. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t dramatically improved their look once they started wearing a frame that actually suited them. Sort yourself out in the eyewear department if you want discerning women to drape themselves all over you because, newsflash – we love a man in glasses. We think it makes you look highbrow. And that’s hot. Kerching! While we’re on the subject, a pair of cool sunglasses can look hot, and also give you the psychological advantage if you don’t want to give away what you’re thinking!
Best And Worst Looks Seen Across London
Best
• Crisp tailored charcoal grey suit and pale blue shirt
• Matching tan belt and shoes
• Fitted black silk shirt
• Mauve dress shirt with black trousers
• Red sneakers
• Blue velvet Docs
• Red Jeans
• Rocky T-Shirt (on a seriously buff guy)
Worst
• iPood T-Shirt (What the...?)
• Mr Perfect T-Shirt
• Pastel pink too tight T-Shirt
• Pornstar T-Shirt
• Lime green psychedelic shirt and matching shorts
• Black leather short shorts
• White shorts, shirts and sneakers with black socks!
• Branded T-Shirts: (Slogan T-Shirt’s can be a good ice-breaker, so long as you choose them wisely).
Wearing “I love Children with Leukaemia” on your T-shirt might convince us you’re a nice guy, in the same way that….
“Let’s Get Nekkid and Shag!” T-shirt will not!
Judges Verdict: Dress age appropriately and brainstorm with your style guru. If you wear something that gets loads of compliments, buy one in every colour!
Top Tip: Don’t take style tips from British politicians!
If You Look Good, You Can Get Away With Anything...
Nothing says, ‘No sex thanks!’ like a cold sore on your person; so let’s get right down to the tic-tacs – how is your grooming regime? Are you fresh and fragrant? Crisp and laundered? Groomed and manicured? Or are your hand so hairy that you need to comb them? If so, may I suggest you address that? While you’re there, might I enquire about your excess facial fuzz – how’s it looking? Or is it keeping the babes away? What about your post-acne skin – is it letting you down? Whatever it is, make a pact to improve it. Once you put in the time to step up the grooming, you’ll notice the progress immediately.
It’s pretty safe to say that most women don’t find the whiff of unwashed hair, or a grimy neck particularly alluring. I spend many a long day at public libraries and I’m always shocked by the fetid smells on some of the men, both older and younger, as they come and go. The thing is I honestly don’t think they’re aware of it. They might be clean, but the stench is in their clothes. That’s what happens when you don’t do the laundry regularly or wear a deodorant. And pity the woman who goes in for a cheeky kiss on the cheek because she will cop it from where it’s worst – the upper chest, under-arm area – and I can tell you – it’s a massive turn off.
Gone are the days when the man who looked after himself was considered gay, today it’s MAN-datory – take a bow David Beckham! We want you to look good, smell good, and taste good. We want you to wash your hands after the toilet, and before you touch us. We want shiny shoes, matching socks and gunk-free nails. We want to look at you and automatically start humming the Kings of Leon tune: “Your sex is on fire!”
If you haven’t ventured into one of the many unisex stores on the High Street offering men’s treatments from facials to waxing – why not give it a whirl? Whether it’s for a cleansing facial, or you’re ridding yourself of the dreaded nasal hair, get onto it pronto. The same with taming your beloved mono-brow – just bin it! If you’re sporting a massive HOB, or hair-of-the-back, and you don’t want to risk making the girls cry – wax it the hell-o off! And don’t even think about a DIY job, because half a tube of shaving foam and a blunt razor later, your back will be a bloodied mess – then we really will run crying into the street!
Re-organise your toiletries and grooming kit so that any stale products are chucked, replenished and replaced every few months (rubbing stale shaving cream onto your face is like rubbing grime into it). Then prepare to restock. All the brand names do comprehensive skin care ranges for men, but it can be confusing unless you know what you’re doing.
Keep it simple. Start with some online research to find which brand is best for you, then it’s a trip to Boots or your local department store. Be warned, once the sales assistant has you in her clutches, it will be hard to leave without having bought half the store!
So, while it would be boring to go on and on about men’s style (that’s what GQ Magazine is for) there’s no excuse not to present a polished version of yourself every time you step out the door; whether you’re a nice-armed chap, a well-of-the-behind chap, or simply a well turned out chap – no excuses. Too bad if you weren’t dealt the hand with the ‘Most Handsome Man on the Planet’ card!
Indeed if that is the case, you need to work smarter to make the most of what you’ve got. Likewise if you don’t have R-Patz face to present to the world, don’t despair, you can still do a heck of a lot to improve things. Apply the motto to work with what you’ve got! You only have to look at early footage of the Right Hon Simon Cowell, pre-TV fame, to see what I mean.
The guy’s clearly had more work on his face than the Home Improvement Show. We’re talking the whole shebang: dental surgery, teeth veneers, Botox, tinted lashes, waxing of the chest, designer suits, fake tan, lashings of man-scara (mascara) – but hey, it’s working for him. Rewind a few years back and you’ll see that he had one of the plainest mugs on TV. Now he looks more like Clooney’s younger brother every day – albeit less gorgeous. It’s called upkeep and it’s expensive which is fine for Cowell since he’s a Superpower, and he’s working it. But unless your career depends on making a living from TV, there’s really no need to go that far.
It’s never too late to start a skin-care routine, one which you will to stick to in the long-term. It only takes a minute to slap on some gunk, so make a pact to cleanse and moisturise skin daily – and tone too if you’re really keen. Keep your lips moist with lashings of super strength lip-balm and hydrate by drinking loads of water. Remember also to protect your skin from the harsh climate by using SPF in the summer and heavier product in the winter. Do this every day and try not to drink all the beer in Britain and you will stand a better chance of looking good for the next fifty years.
Want to feel fragrant? Well go right ahead, but be smart about it, otherwise there are some cheap and nasty fragrances out there that will send us running. And while something basic like the utilitarian CK might work its magic, why not try something a little more distinctive that the ladies won’t recognise at one hundred paces? Keep in mind that while most us of enjoy a splash of sexy-time aftershave – and will swoon if you smell fabulous even if you look a bit mingin’– we don’t want you drowning in it. Think passion not petrol fumes. It’s the same with deodorant, by all means use it, but refrain from liberal use of those highly perfumed toxic deodorants that stink loudly over our perfume into sweaty armpits. The danger of overdoing it, apart from the obvious, is that it could clash violently with the scent we’re wearing.
What about your smile? Do women gaze dreamily at your pearly white dazzlers? I suspect not! Not unless you’ve had a lot of cosmetic dentistry – which if we’re honest, is not the norm for the average Briton. But never mind, even if you did inherit wobbly teeth from the wonky side of the family, Dr. Smile is here to save the day. You can make massive improvements thanks to the wonders of modern dentistry. And while a complete overhaul will set you back a pretty penny, investing in a simple whitening procedure or a basic clean is not only affordable, it will result in a noticeable and instantaneous improvement as well as correcting yellowing or stained teeth. You want a killer smile. Go get it tiger!
Hair: If you’ve been rocking the same look for the past decade and you’re feeling ripe for a change, best to skip the barber and see a stylist. Find out what suits you and stick with it. Whether you’re a Mr Wash & Go, or your hair is glistening in a sea of product, use a decent conditioner. If you’ve got dandruff, annihilate it! If you’re a silver fox, wear it with style. If you’re follicly challenged deal with it. If you’re a baldy, wear it with pride – and forget about trying to hide impending baldness under a hat, it will only make us more anxious about what’s under there – or not under there! Keep in mind there’s nothing unsexier than a guy who’s more into his hair than we are!
Brows: A good brow tidy is easy to come by and it’s important, especially if we’re talking mono-brow monster! Get yourself along to any department store and get cleaned up with a quick and efficient threading process, or a good old-school waxing. Either way, you’ll be done in a matter of minutes. Word of warning – don’t go overboard and don’t let your brows get too tidy or you’ll start looking like a Gok Wan wannabe.
Nails: It’s very important that you pay attention to your nails because everybody else will! The need to be trimmed, tidy and clean. If you can’t manage the maintenance yourself, get them done professionally. And sort your toe-nails out while you’re there, nothing worse than getting scratched by a long toe nail right at the worst possible moment. Yikes!
Make-up: erm sorry, look more men wear make-up than you realise, and not just for fancy dress or KISS inspired glam rock, it’s used to hide blemishes and improve one’s over-all look. Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. The trick is to know what you’re doing and wear it with subtlety. Take your pick of tinted moisturisers, eye-liner; man-scara, or bronzer. Then find a nice lady friend to help with the application.
Fake tan: Don’t try this at home unless you want to become an Oompa Loompa. For best results, book in for a professional application.
Ears: Wax growing out of your ears? Well c’mon, get rid of it; you’re not a Neanderthal!
Nasal Hair: Book extra time at the Barbers if you’ve got the dreaded nasal hair explosion.
In order be a babe magnet you need to look good but, don’t spend so long in the bathroom that you end up taking longer than us to get ready. As much as we want you germ free, it has been scientifically proven that women are not attracted to men who are more coiffed than us. We can’t have you putting us to shame! So if you come out of this looking like a perfumed chimp – take a bow Ronaldo – we will find that extremely off putting. We like the idea that our men are too busy indulging in you know, manly things, to spend too long pampering and preening. As modern as we are, we still want you to be a proper man!
• Just The Tonic
• Step up your image
• Recruit a style guru
• Rescue dry/damaged hair with a deep conditioning treatment
• Have a facial, complete with steam, exfoliation and extraction
• Do a close up in a naturally lit mirror before leaving the house
• Practice excellent hygiene at all times so you don’t get caught unprepared!
Bloke Quote: In 2011 newly reinvented metrosexual Shane Warne admitted to using moisturiser and losing weight. “Being healthy is now a daily habit. I feel great.” He didn’t mention the other little helpers.
Simon Cowell says having Botox is like, “Cleaning his teeth.” Technically they’re not his teeth though are they?
Piers Wotsit who used to work with Simon says, “Botox is part of the job”. So is sucking Simon erm….
Wayne Rooney “My game’s perfect, so my hair should be too”.
Ewan McGregor: “I have to ask my wife, do I look like a cock or is this alright, the way I’m dressed. Because you don’t want to be ‘that’ guy.” Observer Magazine 2/10/2011
Watchdog Lookouts!
• Don’t sit in a public place and pick your nose
• Don’t sit in a public place and scratch your bollocks!
• Don’t sit in a public place without your shirt!
• Don’t sit in a public place and pick the wax from your ears before studying it!
• Do a rear-view mirror check to make sure nothing dodgy is going on from the rear!
• Do Carry antibacterial gel in your man-bag everywhere you go.
• Do Lose the sex repellents. That includes any live growths festering out of your ears!
Let’s Get Physical
But life’s not just about dressing smartly and good grooming, one must exercise as well, otherwise your ego could be writing cheques your body can’t cash. The way your body looks says a whole lot about your lifestyle so, you need to be on top of it. If you’re waddling around like a floppy, puffy lump, then it’s a pretty good indication that you’re, erm, a floppy, puffy lump. Likewise, if you’re ripped with bulging builder’s biceps and a perfectly honed and toned six-pack, we’re likely to assume you’re gay. Holy buns of steel Batman, you just can’t win!
Or maybe you can because if there’s one thing you cannot do, it is speculate about women’s taste. In the same way that women can’t assume what you like and don’t like. Thankfully most women prefer something completely different to the conventional norm. For the most part our preferences are wholly unexpected. The most unlikely girl in the world could find your wicked combination of bespectacled geekiness brilliantly, erotically sexy, proof that not all women are obsessed with the physical side of things. For a girl who doesn’t do blonde chaps, I found myself developing rather a crush on Mentalist star, Simon Baker. Grrr. Yet, Robert Pattinson, who’s repeatedly been named sexiest Man of the Year, does nothing for me. ‘Why so pale!’ It’s a very personal thing, and subjective. As the Sex and the City girls’ say: “Good on paper. Bad in bed!”
At the end of the day we all have our highly individual tastes – thankfully! Imagine how boring it would be if we all had the same taste. So even if you approach someone you don’t rate as an obvious match, and you suspect that together the pair of you look like the odd-squad, who cares? Give it a whirl anyway. You never know. Besides, what do you have to lose?
At the end of the day it’s not all about biceps and buffness is it? Pretty much without exception, every woman I’ve ever asked, ‘What are you looking for in a man?’ has responded in the same way:
“We want someone who makes us laugh.”
“We want someone we like being around.”
“We want someone who likes us.”
So don’t fall into the trap of writing us off because: “Oh, she’d only go for the tall, dark chiselled type.” That is such a cliché and so often not the case.
While we’re on the subject, let’s talk about HER looks. How important are they to you? Does she have to be a 10 plus for you to even look twice at her? If so, is that realistic? Or are you punching WAY above your weight?
There is no doubt a style or a particular look that is physically attractive to you, whether that’s conventional good looks or something more quirky. How hung up are you on the whole notion of conventional looks? Personally, I find it boring. I’ve got my own quirky taste and it’s quite unlike anyone else’s – and I pride myself on that. Since I’m not exactly the conventional size zero Barbie-esque Blonde myself it works just fine. Hopefully you have your own individual taste as well.
Is there any such thing as going after someone who’s supposedly out of your league? I have mixed feelings on this. One on hand I believe that if you’re confident enough – you can have whoever you want. On the other hand, it pays to be realistic. And that means setting your sights on your aesthetic equal.
In order to do that you need some insight as to whether or not you’re both on the same step when it comes to looks. Give yourself a honest to goodness mark out of ten for your physical appearance, if you can’t do it then ask a mate – not someone who’s going to treat the whole thing as a big laugh, someone who gets where you’re coming from. Use the same criteria when you meet girls.
I’m always surprised by the number of hot girls I see with the plainest looking guys, though they do say that girl’s are more into personality than looks – agree or disagree?
It’s also said that men are more influenced by looks than girls – which means you’ve effectively reduced the number of potential partners you can on the basis that they don’t live up to your expectation of what Mrs Wonderful should look like.
When was the last time you talked, really talked with someone who didn’t meet your ideal of physical perfection, but found you had an amazing connection with? And if that happened did you chose not to see her again because of the way she looked, or rather didn’t look? Not because she wasn’t attractive, far from it, but because she wasn’t what you had in mind? If that has been your experience, you might want to broaden your horizons. It’s not worth limiting yourself to this ridiculous stereotype. Take a chance on someone who is smart and funny and sassy even if she’s not your idea of physical perfection, you might be surprised what can happen when you start to fall in love with the essence of someone. Their beauty can literally bloom right in front of your eyes. One day you could wake up and realise that you are going out with the most beautiful girl in the word – spiritually, physically, emotionally – and you very nearly passed her over because she wasn’t an identikit to what you had in mind. Get over it dude! Relax your guidelines. Try something different. Don’t be such a twat and see what you find.
Think of how many unassuming men you see with drop dead stunning women. I see them everyday! Women love the strangest things for which there is no logic. Some like their quirky boffins, preppy boys, pretty boys, shy boys or stocky, bald guys. Others like their sports loving cricket-mad-cavemen – take a bow Liz Hurley. While other girls love their short guys: why look over there, it’s supermodel Sophie Dahl towering gleefully over teeny-jazz-whizz, Jamie Cullen.
At the end of the day it doesn’t matter whether you look like David Beckham or Fester from the Adam’s Family, well OK maybe it does, but the point is that whatever look you are rocking – you will absolutely do it for someone out there. No matter whether you’re short, tall, stocky, fat or skinny – you are going to rock someone’s world. You just won’t know whose – until you give it a go.
Likewise, women favour very different body parts. For some it’s a chunky set of man-hands that do it. For others it’s bums. For many more, it’s the thighs – massive thighs that could squeeze the living daylights out of them. For the rest of us it’s the trim tums, narrow hips, bulging biceps and broad shoulders, with a special mention for the forearms. A solid pair of forearms in action can be a real turn on, especially when those forearms are carrying out the world’s most important task, like erm, lifting a beer bottle. Why? Who knows? Maybe it’s got something to do with the prehistoric notion of men going out into the wilds to forage. Whatever the reason, it works. So, regardless of what you like and don’t like, don’t be assuming there are parts of you that we won’t like, we might just surprise you!
Top 5 Fave Body Parts
• Bums
• Chunky set of man-hands
• Biceps and shoulders
• Massive thighs that could squeeze the living daylights out of her
• Special mention for the forearms
The minute you start getting physical you’ll feel more in tune with your body. Perfection is not the goal when it comes to body types; it’s simply about having the body you are comfortable with, and being happy in your own skin. But if groups of children on the street are pointing and laughing at your overgrown man-boobs, and your beer-belly is making you self-conscious and sluggish – then clearly you need to work on it.
Alternatively, if you are well into your fitness, and thanks to obsessive work outs with your personal trainer, formerly an SAS dude, your body is ripped like the proverbial, then that is the crème fraiche on the scones. But if you find that every available waking hour is spent in the gym and consequently your complexion is starting to resemble the crème fraiche on the scones – then you need to get out of the gym and into the real world. By all means be the buffest you can be, just don’t spend all your time in the exercise room. B-o-r-i-n-g!
Start by varying your exercise routine and source fun new ways to get fit and fight flab. Variety is the spice of life so get out into the fresh air and energise yourself. Throw yourself around in a wrestling match, or get out in the park and hoon around on a skateboard. Get together with mates for some serious physical exertion and work-out at places where you’ll have a chance of actually, you know, connecting with new people. Try something crazy and cool and fun, like motor cross sports, surfing or skiing. Take up rollerblading, rowing or rockabilly dancing. Join one of the many organised hiking tours around the UK, or simply walk everywhere.
You Look Good On The Dance floor!
A man who can handle himself on the dance-floor is incredibly sexy, but if you do it really badly – I’m talking sticking your bum out and doing the Chicken-Dance – then, you need an honest appraisal from femme friends. If you do get taken gently aside and told that, in spite of what you think, that dude, you are one hell of a dodgy dancer; then you need to sort it out. There are plenty of classes where you can do just that, so do that. Be gone ye jazz hands!
Once you hit the dance-floor to throw out a few shapes, don’t forget to smile. Otherwise what can happen is that you’re so hell-bent on looking good with those sprayed on jeans and killer moves that you forget about connecting. Be smooth on the dance-floor by all means, but keep it light and fun, remember to maintain eye-contact, and look happy! Don’t for the love of god sing-along or serenade her on a crowded dance-floor because you’re not Tom Cruise and she’s not Kelly McGillis. It doesn’t matter what the song is, you’ll only embarrass the living daylights out of her; unless she specifically encourages it of course, and then you can go hell for leather.
Whatever you end up doing, it doesn’t matter whether you sink or swim because there is a life jacket. You’re chasing thrills to get your blood pumping whilst reminding yourself that you’re alive! Concentrate on the bonuses: a healthy complexion, revamped social life and most importantly, access to the action women who thrive on looking after their bodies with high energy hobbies! The reality is that if you’re even a tiny bit toned, us women will be delighted.
Top 3 Things You Like Most About Your Appearance?
• Height
• Slim-build
• Broad shoulders
Exercise Your Way to Celeb Physique
Racing legend Lewis Hamilton swears by extensive hiking part of his vigilant exercise routine. Likewise Johnny Deep says walking is great for your butt. What better recommendation can you get? Seriously!
• Do one healthy thing every day
• Get a massage and revel in that touchy-feely-feel-good therapy
• Increase your energy levels by eating fresh food
• Make exercise choices based on opportunities to meet people
• Use Schwarzenegger posture to show off your physique – whatever your size
• Throw that chest out and walk tall
• Don’t slump. It’s not flattering and will add years!
• Walk everywhere!
I Need A Hero!
If you want to be the best you can, you need to look to the Pros. Let’s rewind back in time and look at the characteristics of the great Casanovas throughout history. Interestingly the men who were renowned for their seduction prowess weren’t exactly eye-candy. Rather, it was their charisma and the special power they held over women – it was their ability to make them feel special that made them so memorable.
Former Prime Minister and notorious seducer, Benjamin Disraeli had the uncanny ability to make a woman feel extraordinarily special. As one woman who had dinner with Disraeli and another political heavyweight commented:
“When I left the dining room after sitting next to Mr Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England. But, after sitting next to Mr Disraeli, I thought I was the cleverest women in England.”
I rest my case!
Jean Paul Sartre the great philosopher took a different approach to seduction. Far from being eye-candy, he was not the prettiest picture in the book by any stretch of the imagination, but still, the women swarmed around him. What was his secret? According to his autobiography he became painfully aware as a teenager that he didn’t have the looks to seduce women, so he devised a cunning plan to develop his intellect and his confidence to snare them. And lo and behold, throughout his life he courted many exotic and beautiful women. So yes, you could say it worked.
According to the memoirs of Casanova, at times a soldier, spy and adventurer, but most famously known as the Erotic Hero of the 18th Century – the trick was to evoke warmth, gratitude and perhaps most importantly, trust within a woman. According to those who studied the secrets to his seduction, Casanova strove to be the ideal escort in the first act: witty, charming, confidential and helpful in the second act, before moving into the bedroom in the third act. Nice work if you can get it.
30 Second Quiz: Spot The Biggest Flirt
There’s no right or wrong in this game, it’s simply a matter of coming up with your own opinion. The choice of who’s hot and who’s not is a personal one, so you’re welcome to make-up your own list and narrow it down to those whose personality, style or image is complimentary to your own. Have a squiz at the examples provided here to get some food for thought. The idea is to pinpoint the traits within others that you find appealing, and hopefully along the way, find characteristics you identify with.
Toast Your Glasses To…Your Heroes
Who are your heroes? Who do you admire? Can you name any rock stars, politicians or sportsmen that inspire you? Put on your fantasy hat for a minute and suppose that someone came along and said, “Take this pill and you can be whoever you want to be”. Who would you choose to be?
Now think about what makes you respond to those you admire. It’s all very well to say that they’re cool, in the same way I would drool and say that Johnny Depp and Dave Grohl and sex-on-legs Jon Hamm from Mad Men are cool – but let’s get down to tic-tacs. What is it exactly?
Is it their style and image? Their mannerisms and character? Or the way they rock a particular look? Maybe it is quite simply their charisma. Whatever it is, break it down to individual features. Identify what you like about them and why. Try to be specific. What characteristics do they have that you recognize? Are there any you can adapt? That’s not to say you’re going to get away with glamming up like Russell Brand anytime soon, it doesn’t work like that, but hey, you might pick up some tips to compliment your style along the way.
Thanks to the world of the internet and highly accessible visual mediums, you can study your idols to your heart’s content. Whether it’s through their back catalogue of films, books or music, there are plenty of ways to get insight into what makes them tick. Use film footage and live appearances to see what gives them their edge.
Whether you love or hate them, channelling the greatest seducers in history will get you thinking. The added bonus is a refreshed interest in popular culture. There’s barely a woman alive who won’t be impressed by your celebrity knowledge, especially if you can offer an informed opinion on Cheryl Cole’s latest lurve drama! Just don’t be going all Zoolander on us!
At the end of this section you will find a list of books and films to kick-start your own personal action/erotic hero film-fest; or at the very least have you studying up on the great seducers, from Errol Flynn to Bogart and Sinatra to name a but a few.
What’s all this got to do with flirting? Erm, only everything! It’s a reminder that you need to be savvier when it comes to your romantic lives. They do need to be tweaked, tightened and monitored in the same way that our careers and friendships are. It’s just plain lazy leaving it to chance. Especially if you have goals that include parenthood and marriage some day; you can’t be taking that stuff for granted (I don’t care how old you are!). Put simply, in this day and age, it does require thought and planning – if you want a long lasting partnership that is. So if a closer analysis of the Super Seducers provides inspiration to help in your pursuit of an extraordinary life – then bring it on!
Zero To Hero
Don’t ever kid yourself that you can’t be the leading man. Just look at superstar rockers Noel Gallagher, Dave Grohl and Gary Barlow – well he’s no rocker, but you get my drift. Who knew they could even sing until their leading men went AWOL? By studying the secrets of the old and the new from sportsmen and rock stars to politicians – you’ll find out what makes us gals’ go potty over their totty.
Who are your idols and why? E.g. Craig Daniels, because he’s a legend!
What characteristics do you best identify with? The strong, silent, macho thing
Male Order Celeb: In 2011 1,500 UK men voted for what the Ultimate Man should look like and the results were thus:
• Gerald Butler - Face
• Brad Pitt - Torso
• Matthew McConaughey - Super Toned Body
• Jake Gyllenhaal - For Sheer Phwoar Factor!
Star Watch
Now that you’ve identified the role models that inspire you in the general sense, it’s time to identify those whose style appeals to you. Refer to your list of aspirationals and pick out those you just look at and think, ‘Whoa!’ Whether it’s Paul Newman in the Colour of Money or Craig Daniels as 007, and describe the image you admire in as much detail as you can. Think about the changes you need to make to sex up your overall look. Once you’ve done that, work on tweaking it down to a style that you can call your very own.
Look to the men who are winning the fashion plaudits. Experts in the field of fashion crowned British actor Aaron Johnson as the country’s snappiest male dresser in 2010 when he was voted Britain’s best dressed man by GQ. Apparently, he personifies the modern British look and style – so there you go!
High profile dudes who made the grade
• Aaron Johnson
• Douglas Booth
• Nicholas Hoult
• Robert Pattinson
• Prince Harry
• David Furnish
• Tom Ford
• Alex James
• Jenson Button
• Bill Nighy
Flirt-O-Meter
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly of the Super Seducers
Russell Brand: Here you have a bloke who claims to have slept with Kate Moss, so bloomin’ hell, he must be doing something right! He may be married now, but before that it was Sun’s Serial Shagger of the Year all the way. With that title under his belt, he’s clearly got the cred. What’s his secret with the ladies? For a start it’s his distinctive look, which just like marmite, you either love or hate – but whatever you think of it, it’s truly his own. And for those with a penchant for rockstars doused in heroin chic, Brand’s nailed it. He’s sexy in his own way; all long legs, leather and wild locks, but it’s not just his looks that win him the ladies, it’s his smarts. Let’s look at his Top 5 tactics:
1. His ability to feminise himself is his No 1. Secret Weapon. He’s in touch with his girly side. He carries on just like a girl: the way he gossips, giggles and drops the dirt on celebs. It makes the ladies drop their defences (and in many cases, that’s not all!).
2. He’s got a fearless take on dating and flirting. His method is simply to put it out there. He has happily shared his secrets with the Sun in the past, and said it’s all about acknowledging the moment. He will just come right out and say it:” Where is the flirting? Are we flirting? Are we enjoying the flirting?” Masterstroke!
3. He’s funny and silly, and always the first to poke fun at himself. Since it’s a widely known fact that Brits love anyone who doesn’t take themselves to seriously and can have a laugh at themselves, he’s made himself a very popular boy!
4. The comedy element is the cherry on top. He’s funny as hell and every girl loves a comedian.
5. Plus, according to Katy Perry, he’s no walkover. She says: “In previous relationships I feel like I’ve just steamrolled the guy, so it’s nice to find someone I can’t do that to.”
So where does it all end? Where else but the bedroom of course! Love him or hate him, the man is the master. Scoreboard: 9/10
• CLASSIC - George Clooney: Clooney’s working with A-grade material and has the movie star looks to pull it off. But it’s more than that. It’s the twinkle in his eye, the greying of the temples, the impeccably tailored suits. He’s a complete and utter natural. The fact that he’s made it to the age of 50 and never married only makes him more appealing. He’s the one who got away. And before you even go there, he’s not gay! 10/10
• BAD BOY - Colin Farrell: Farrell’s appeal lies in those liquid brown eyes, the roguish charm and of course, the Irish accent. It’s a wicked combination and enough to makes grown women drool. Scoreboard: 9/10
• STRONG SILENT TYPE - Daniel Craig: Two words: Blue Swimmers – that’s what most women remember about his Bond debut. This was our cue to go Phwwoooooooooaaaarrr! Because he’s fit, and wet. And fit, and wet. Mmm. Oh, and did I mention he’s fit and wet? The thing about Craig is that he doesn’t have to say a goddamn word. He’s got that strong, silent thing down pat. The fact that he rarely gets gossiped about in the press means that he’s got the mystery element going on as well. 9/10
• FUNNY MAN - David Walliams: You only have to look at the women he’s squired to see this guy is a legend when it comes to the almighty art of seduction. It’s not that obvious by looking at him, but think about it: he dresses sharply, he’s super fit (having swum the Channel), and just like his buddy Brand, he’s perfected the art of the non-threat. He’s done it by cultivating a light, funny approach which has the effect of making women drop their guard. Once they’ve dropped their guard, he swoops. Clever, calculated – and all about the comic timing! Plus he married a real life super model! So he must be good.
• QUINTESSIANTALLY UNIQUE - Johnny Depp: There are plenty of Johnny fans who will remain diehard fans forever. He makes a hot dang pirate and he’s still the same conventionally gorgeous guy who broke Kate Moss’s heart, and for that alone, the man is a legend! Even if we can’t quite forgive him for marrying that saucy French tart! 9/10
• SPORTS LEGEND - Lewis Hamilton: He may be pint sized, but he’s ripped and cute as a button. Plus he’s super successful with the ladies, which explains how he came to have one of the hottest women on the planet on his arm. Take a bow Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger. In spite of it all, Hamilton still manages to come across as humble. We salute him. 8/10
• OLD SCHOOL ENGLISH GENT - Colin Firth: Now here’s someone who radiates a simmering brand of sex appeal. He really is Mr Darcy personified. Everything about him says integrity, and we love a man with integrity. The Bridget Jones role did much to solidify his place as the nation’s heart throb. He’s strong, dignified and he simply OOZES English charm. Best of British, chaps! 9.5/10
• MACHO - Hugh Jackman: What you have here is a modern day caveman who could oh so easily scoop the ladies up with his big manly arms and cradle us against his Tarzan style chest. Drool! He’s debonair, dishy and an incredible hunk. Anyone else feeling a bit inadequate now? Needless to say, if I wasn’t already taken, he could bowl this maiden over anytime! I’ll give him a naughty 9.5/10 for being the man we’d most like to have a naked tickle fight with!
• GEEK - Louis Theroux: Bespectacled, gangly, skinny, awkward and a prize nerd – hardly the wish-list for the Perfect Boyfriend, but unexpectedly, refreshingly cute!
Honourable Mentions
• Marco Pierre White – take a bow Britain’s first rock-star chef.
• Javier Bardem: Style Icon – we salute you!
• Strangely attractive Jack Black – what is it about fat, funny men?
• Hugh Grant – he of the floppy fringe and unofficial spokesperson for Hack-gate!
• Barack Obama – The man. The legend. The charm. Sorry, I couldn’t hold myself back there!
Celeb Quote: Hollywood star Olivia Wilde on Daniel Craig: “He is so fine and he doesn’t even know it. He’s such a goof, but he has a confidence that allows him to shine In the way that Steve McQueen stole every single scene in The Magnificent Seven, Daniel has that kind of luminosity because of his energy and the kind of saltiness that I think is an important quality of acting. I think that the reason that he redefined Bond is because he has a dirtiness to him. It looks like he has been in bar fights. He’s windblown. (Interesting choice of word usage there: dirty, salty, windblown… it’s all very rough ‘n’ tumble!)
Hero Vs Zero: Schwarzenegger, the Terminator turned US Governor appeared live on a BBC TV report with Boris Johnson. In spite of being a good twenty years older, Arnie made Boris look flaccid, floppy and old. If you want to look good in a few decades time, then best you find out Arnie’s secret (Stop Press: May 2011 - I think we just found out Arnie’s secret!)
Boys Night In
Show time folks! It’s time to organise your own personal movie-fest and watch closely as the romantic leads go about the business of getting it on. The missive is to identify the particular styles at work here. Once you’ve got a couple of movies, grab a beer, a barrel of popcorn; arm yourself with a pen and pad and focus! Afterwards you will be a natural when it comes to spotting the SSS: Signature Seduction Styles.
• Paul Newman: The Colour of Money
• Brad Pitt: Thelma & Louise
• Humphrey Bogart: Casablanca
• Richard Gere: An Officer and a Gentleman
• John Malkovich: Dangerous Liaisons
• Olivier Martinez: Unfaithful
• Jack Nicholson: The Witches of Eastwick
• Steve McQueen: The Thomas Crown Affair/The Magnificent Seven
• Kevin Spacey: American Beauty
• Dustin Hoffman: The Graduate
• Tom Cruise: Magnolia/Risky Business/Top Gun
• James Mason: Lolita
• Colin Firth and Hugh Grant: Bridget Jones
• Jon Hamm: Mad Men: A sexy retro TV drama better known as the sexiest thing to ever implode across our televisions.
Staying In...
Any of the following books will give you insight into what makes these legendary (and not so legendary) Lotharios tick.
• Lord Byron: Don Juan
• The Autobiography of Errol Flynn: My Wicked Wicked Ways
• An Unauthorized Biography Of Frank Sinatra: His Way
• Jack, the Great Seducer: The Life and Many Loves of Jack Nicholson
• Russell Brand: My Booky Wook
• Keith Richards: Life
• Richard Branson: Losing my Virginity
• Lord Alan Sugar: A Biography of Alan Sugar
• Casanova’s Memoirs
For inspirational tales of how these men wooed their women - and lived happily ever after:
Toby Young: How to Lose Friends and Alienate People
Michael McIntyre: Life and Laughing: My Story
Tackle too Tiny?
As for the worst flirts in Britain, what about disgraced MP Limp-bit Öpik-Wotsit? If he’s not a poster boy for birth control, I don’t know what is!
Planet Geek: Latino stunner Eva Mendes sighs orgasmically when she confesses that she loves a geek – glasses and all – and to be fair, geeks are bang on trend right now. In this age of gadgetry, every girl needs a geek!
Last Hurrah: Summary Of Flirt Styles
A quick recap of the signature styles of the Super Seducers will refresh your memory and prepare you for creating own profile. As you progress through the exercises you will start to find those aspects of flirting that feel instinctively natural to you.
• Colin Farrell: Signature flirt – Hard and Fast: in your face sexuality
• Russell Brand: Signature flirt – Cheeky, brash in yer face cockiness
• Sean Penn: Signature flirt – Tough, tempestuous and passionate
• Brian Ferry: Signature flirt – International Man of Mystery – and sexy as hell
• Simon Cowell: Signature flirt – Powerful, arrogant, cocky and charming (in his own weird way)
Who do you rate as the Super Seducers and why?
• Daniel Craig: Silent, brooding persona
• Russell Brand: Because he’s an outrageous flirt and just doesn’t care
• George Clooney: Because he’s timeless, classic lady crack
• David Beckham: Master of the strong silent type – which on some days can look more baffled and bewildered than sex on a stick. Gotta love him either way though!
Sex & Movie Star Moments
“Sex is a momentary itch, love never lets you go.”
Kingsley Amis
“Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.”
Woody Allen
“Remember, sex is like a Chinese dinner. It ain’t over ‘til you both get your cookie.”
Alec Baldwin
“How about a drink at my place. No funny business, just full sex.”
Hugh Grant, Bridget Jones
“Sometimes you’ve just got to say what the fuck? and make your move”
Tom Cruise, Risky Business
Sizzling And Saucy Seductresses
Do you know what makes Kelly Brook a very good flirt and Victoria Beckham a very bad flirt? If not, you should. Let’s turn to the foxy ladies for tips and clues and study their top-of-the-line-no-poncy bollocks moves. Tune into the female psyche and learn to recognise the Internationally Recognised Signs that tell you they’re keen. Information is power after all, especially if you’re missing signals left right and centre. Once you’ve studied how they do it, you’ll never need miss another signal again!
The following films offer an insight to the different ways that women ‘work it’. Start with the femmes from the Hollywood Age and finish with the contemporary Superflirts. See how they lick their lips and raise their eye-brows oh-so seductively. Watch for volume and repetition – a rapid-fire-machine-gun approach as she goes about dishing out all manner of signs and gestures. Of course you’ll be studying the leading men as they kick out the jams as well.
Warning: These Films Contain Hot Women!
• Marlene Dietrich, Blue Angel
• Greta Garbo, Camilla
• Rita Hayworth, Gilda
• Jane Fonda, Barbarella and Klute
• Faye Dunaway, Chinatown
• Marilyn Monroe, How to Marry A Millionaire
• Kathleen Turner, Body Heat
• Linda Fiorentino, The Last Seduction
• Drew Barrymore, Poison Ivy
Babe Watch: Top 10 Superflirts
• Christina Hendricks: Curvaceous as all hell and commonly described as sex on legs, she oozes old fashioned sex appeal in every sense of the word
• Shakira: She’s got it and she flaunts it. Sexy and very predatory
• Rhianna: One word: smokin’!
• Scarlett Johansson: Smouldering in the manner of a serious 40s style screen siren
• Cameron Diaz: Funny, goofy , clever and sexy
• Drew Barrymore: Natural, cheeky and charming
• Nicole Scherzinger: Sexy and strong with a dominatrix vibe going on
• Kelly Brook: It’s pretty obvious
• Cheryl Cole: She’s cute, she’s tiny – and look she’s singing
Who Tickles Your Fancy?
• Jessica Alba
• Abbie Cornish
• Jessica Biel
• Charlize Theron
• Angelina Jolie
• Diane Kruger
• Kirsten Dunst
• Emma Watson
• Pixie Lott or...
• Last but not least…Ann Widdecombe?
Belly Laughs: Speaking publicly about her past marriages, Katie Price said: “I am very, very, very, very disappointed with my past marriages.” That’s quite a statement from Katie but let me ask you this, where do you rate Miss Katie Price on the Flirt-o-meter and what would you give her out of ten? I’m curious because I’ve never come across anyone who considered her a flirt – she’s a lot of other things, but, a flirt, maybe not...
Movie Star Oh Movie Star…
Film goddess Kiera Nightly fesses up about the bizarre feedback she gets on the way she looks: “I have a funny relationship with it because you have some people going, “That’s a beautiful face. And others going: That’s fucking disgusting.” And they are very vocal about that.”
Celeb Quote: Christina Hendricks says: “Men don’t really approach me much, but women do come up and they are flirtatious with me.”
Hello, where are the MEN?!?!
What Women Want
While we’re on the subject of all things appearances, I want to talk about women’s most endearing quality, the thing we pride ourselves on and the thing men love about us most. I am talking of course about our queen size egos. Why NOBODY does ego like us!
I see so much romantic potential smashed because of our egos, and sadly, our insecurities. Worst affected is our self-image which is distorted and over analysed. It doesn’t help that we’re bombarded with unrelenting images of blindingly beautiful super-models from the moment we tumble out of the womb. Sometimes it seems that everything is based on the way we look – far more so for women than men, don’t you agree? Hence why a horrific number of women suffer from eating disorders and self-esteem issues, to the point that if we think our Bum Looks Big In This, we can talk ourselves out of doing anything, or talking to anyone – especially you!
That’s a whole can of worms right there. Particularly since we’re busy and time poor (because last time I checked, that’s what it took to get ahead as a woman). As a result we don’t always have the luxury of looking as hot as we’d like. That means we’re likely to head out on the town straight from the office without so much as a sideways glance in the mirror. And sometimes, as much as it breaks my heart to say it, we turn up looking like something the cat dragged in. Shutt Upp!
The problem there is that women have an unfortunate habit of burrowing themselves away if we’re not looking one hundred percent tip-top. We will sit doggedly with our backs glued to the room and pretend we’re invisible. Anything rather than show our unadorned faces! I’ve had so many women turn up to my sessions and beg forgiveness because they haven’t turned up with perfect blow-dry or a fully made up face. Even though everyone else thinks they look fine. And if I had a penny for every time I heard the old chestnut: ‘I COULDN’T talk to him. I was having a bad hair day’ I’d be a rich woman!
So here’s what you need to know, if she is having an off night because she left the house without so much as a slash of Vamp lipstick, then you’ve got a losing battle on your hands. If she feels unattractive or worse, bloated, she feels unlovable. Yes, women really are that insecure. And if she doesn’t feel up to scratch, then she certainly won’t think she’s good enough for you. Bottom line, she ain’t gonna talk to you if she don’t feel purdy. Her ego won’t let her. Even if she’s hot for you; especially if she’s hot for you!
So sadly if you do approach whilst she’s having a bad face day, she’ll probably give you the cool treatment, based purely on the way she looks, or the way she thinks she looks – even if you don’t agree. You can’t take it personally though. Her self-critique is brutal. General rule of thumb, unless she’s done the Wonder Woman transformation from frumpy office-wear into ‘stepping out’ heels and hair, you’re not likely to see any Green Signals coming your way anytime soon. You need to know this is a battle you cannot win.
Which is silly because if you see a girl you fancy, you’re not going to grade her out of ten before you make an approach, are you? Surely not! You could care less if she looks less than perfect. That’s because men are more forgiving than women which is of course one of the reasons we love you guys. Bless!
Welcome to our fat and fugly day. We all have them and we’re entitled to them. The trick is that you’ll never know when we’re having them but if you get short shift when you try to chat us up, you could consider that it’s because we’re strung out and feeling like one of the ugly sisters!
New Kid On The Kop
Now that you’ve familiarised yourself with the styles of the world’s leading Super Seducers, it’s time to get your own sorted out. What’s yours: Cheeky-chappy? International Man of Mystery? Or good old Mr Reliable?
• What is the first impression you’d like to make? e.g.
• I want to come across as confident and self-assured; plus all of the above!
• Describe your personal style?
• I’m a rock n roll guy. I’ll never change my style dramatically, but I’m happy to freshen it up if it helps!
• What steps can you take to transform yourself into a guy that women want to talk to?
• Tidy up, work on my presentation. I know my hygiene could be better, so I’ll take special care with that..
• What can you do to improve your personal style? Make more of an effort for starters. My wardrobe is a mess!
To summarise let’s look at the Key Points
• Update wardrobe content and maintenance
• Kick-start a grooming regime
• Refer to male idols and their style as a source of inspiration
• In a nutshell? Be fit. Be fresh. Be natural. Look good. Smell good.
Challenges
• Experiment with your style
• Get a woman’s opinion
• Strive to improve your overall look
KPIs: Assess Your Progress
• Are you prepared to experiment with your style? (Y/N)
• Will you ask a woman for wardrobe advice? (Y/N)
• How many dress shirts do you have ready for a special date? (1 - 5)
• Do you have shiny new shoes ready for a hot date? (Y/N)
• Will you do one major thing to improve your overall look? (Y/N)
• Is your hair looking the best it can? (Y/N)
• Are you prepared to improve your fitness? (Y/N)
Mantra: A competitive spirit will ensure you look good all the time.
Checklist
• Enthusiasm
• Competitive spirit
• Man-ity, or Vanity
Q & A
Girls always compliment my look, but my mates take the piss. Who should I listen to?
I think you already know the answer to this one. If the guys are giving you a hard time, then surely it’s because they’re jealous don’t you think? Even just a tad? And so long as the girls are giving you the thumbs up, who cares?
Whenever I experiment with my hair, I end up looking like a fool. What to do?
Rather than putting yourself in the hands of strangers, do some market research. Get opinions from female friends about the style that best suits you. Then ask around for suggestions on where to go. Word of mouth is always best when it comes to tried and true results. Stick to places that others have tried and been happy with the results. Reduce the risk further by taking photos and asking for a consultation before the cut so you can be perfectly clear about what you want.
I wear head-to-toe black most of the time because I’ve been told it suits me, but more and more I feel like l blend into the background. Should I change my style to stand out more?
There’s nothing wrong with wearing black as your main colour provided it’s a style statement and not a reflection of your state of mind. Jazz it up with coloured accessories like belts and bright sneakers to bring your outfit to life and stop you from fading into the background.
Which muscles do women like the most?
Body type preference is such a personal thing. So in the same way that you might be a ‘boob’ or a ‘bum’ man, women have her preferred body parts as well. Maybe it’s the abs, the butt, or for some women, a muscular forearm or a set of toned calves. Or it might be a bulging set of ‘builder’s biceps’ that lures her (or she could find them the ultimate turn-off). The best bet is to emphasise your favourite body parts and find out that way.
I have a hairy back and it¹s never really bothered me, but I¹ve just started seeing someone and I¹m worried she¹ll hate it. Should I wax it?
There’s nothing wrong with having a hairy back and there’s no need to be ashamed. It’s just testosterone at the end of the day, it’s not like you’ve got 3 penises. Rather than assume she’s going to hate it, why not tell the lady in question – before she encounters it in real life. Who knows, she may not be as put off as you think. There’s a danger in getting it waxed without mentioning it because as soon as it starts to grow back, you’ll be rumbled anyway. It might be easier to just ‘fess up now!