CHAPTER 5

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“Elizabeth.”

He said my name and my world stopped.

The rain all around us, the chaos of the last two days, the pain, the pressure—all of it just ceased to exist. Was this how it felt to be drunk? I think I was drunk on him. Senseless to everything else. Useless.

I stood silently a moment. I had imagined seeing him again, had been running scenarios through my mind and had tried to imagine all the things I could say. I thought it would be so different. I thought we would be in polite company, and he would be cold and aloof, and days would have passed and everyone would have learned the news. But I had only just that day broken off the engagement with Charles. And here was Mr. Darcy, alone, my captive audience.

I found I had nothing to say.

“You’re wet,” he said, his eyes on my hair. I smiled wryly a moment, then brushed a stray lock from my face.

Don’t tell him you broke off the engagement. Don’t tell him you broke off the engagement.

“I broke off the engagement,” I said a little too fast. His eyebrows rose and I found I could not stop until I had explained. “I never loved him. We never… I mean I never even… we were friends, you see. For years. When he asked, I couldn’t find a reason to refuse him. I didn’t know. I hadn’t met you yet.”

His eyes blazed and he took a step toward me, taking my hands in his own.

“You are not engaged?” he asked.

I shook my head. “I’m free as a bird. But it was… well, not exactly public, but not private. I mean, word will spread.” I expected him to let go of my hands and bid me good day any moment, but I had to get it out. He had to understand.

“You are free?”

“Yes, but… I’m… well, I was engaged. Everyone will know. You see? I’m not… I’m—”

He stopped me with a kiss, long and passionate, his hand against the back of my head. The coolness of my wet hair shocked me a bit as he pressed it to me. When we parted to breath, he said, panting a bit, “You’re perfect.”

I found the wall of the bridge and seated myself on the railing before pulling him against me. He answered with a will, pressing his body into mine, our lips locked together once again. There was a power I felt, a freedom, something I had never felt before. It wasn’t just my attraction to this man, or his to me, the heat of passion flaring in a stolen moment like before. I had changed. I had passed through fire, had been tested, and had been found perfect. He didn’t care that I’d been engaged.

He just wanted me.

I wrapped my legs around him and felt his manhood pressing against me. I gasped with pleasure. “Mr. Darcy,” I said, my voice more of a whimper than I perhaps intended, “These clothes are all wet.”

“Yes,” he said, his own voice grown husky with desire. “Let’s be rid of them, shall we?”

The next minute or so involved some awkward pulling and a bit of tearing until finally we stood together beneath the shelter of the bridge, in relative privacy under its eaves, our naked bodies warm one against the other. We pressed against each other, our flesh rubbing and finding purchase, until, grunting, he lifted me again against the wall. I laughed and wrapped my legs around him. Then I felt him guide himself inside of me, and I took him, every bit of him, welcoming him behind the veil of maidenhood and embracing all of him within myself. He gripped my buttocks and pressed me firmly to the wall. Its rough wood scratched my back and I gasped. He slowed for a moment, concern etched in his face, but I shook my head. “Don’t stop,” I panted.

I never wanted him to stop.

My arms draped over his neck, I felt the ripple of muscles beneath my hands, felt him bend his back to his work. He was as strong as an ox at the plow. At one point he picked me up entirely, taking me away from the wall, and we laughed together as we collapsed in a heap on the floor of the bridge. The sound of a rushing river filled my ears, the little stream having been engorged by the rain, as he layed me out on my back and began to thrust inside of me again. Over and over he entered me, his body pressing against mine and sending thrills of pleasure up my spine each time, until I could not even hold my legs around him anymore. I lost all control of them, feeling a wave of pure euphoria washing over me, and I gripped him tightly in my arms, forcing him to stop while I ground down onto him and waited for the wave to pass. Wave after wave of pleasure ripped through me like a sickle through wheat. I had not imagined pleasure like this was possible! I had known some few pleasant sensations of womanhood, yes, but this… this was world-changing.

“Elizabeth… Elizabeth!”

I looked into his eyes and saw his face had grown quite red. He panted hard at my name, and then, just as I began to descend back to earth from the heights of my climax, he entered his own. I felt him press even more firmly against me, even more deeply inside of me, as he released his seed. His entire body tensed and he seemed to hold his breath for a moment, a look almost of agony stealing over his face. Then he was done, panting and gasping by turns, and I held him like a babe in my arms.

It was all so fast, over so quickly. And yet it felt as if everything had changed forever.

We laid quietly for some time, unashamed in our nakedness. He pulled himself off of me and laid beside me, and I nestled against him, me head resting peacefully on his arm. Finally he broke the silence with words I had not dreamed to hear him speak.

“I wish to marry you.”

I propped myself up on my elbow and searched his eyes, looking for the jest, or the sadness that would give away his intention of doing no such thing. But I saw nothing there but tender earnestness.

“Then do so,” I finally said.

Mr. Darcy, my Mr. Darcy smiled and kissed me as if we had known each other all our lives.

“With your permission, Miss Bennet, I would see you become Mrs. Darcy.”

“Even though I have a past?”

“Even though you have a past. Who does not?”

“Even though there was almost a man before you?”

“You say almost.”

“Yes,” I smiled shyly, “Well, he never knew me… not the way you now do.”

His smile widened. “I’m happy to hear it. Though it would make no difference to my intentions if he had. I love you, Elizabeth, now and forever.”

Finally that deep tension released, that deep-seated fear floated away, and I fully embraced my freedom. I didn’t need Charles or Darcy or anyone. I was wholly myself. Of course, I wanted Darcy. So I would have him.

“I love you, Fitz.”

 

 

THE END