Chapter Eleven

Jake pulled up outside the barn and cut the engine. He was pretty sure the lady next to him, currently wringing her dainty hands, was nervous. Well, that made two of them. Somewhere between leaving the restaurant and arriving home he’d started to overthink the whole thing. Probably around the same time Kat had clammed up. Right now his mouth was doing a very good impression of the Sahara Desert.

Sucking in a deep breath, he swung open the door to the truck and moved round to help her out.

“We’ll take this one step at a time,” he said softly, taking hold of her hand as he walked with her to the door. “At any stage you can shout stop and I’ll take you home. No hard feelings.” She nodded, her smile tentative, her lovely brown eyes betraying her apprehension. A wave of tenderness washed over him, and he had the urge to kiss the tip of her freckled nose. Which he did. “Let’s start with a coffee, eh?”

Having put on the kettle, he set about laying a fire in the front room. It wasn’t exactly cold, but he thought a warm fire would help settle Kat. And hopefully the process of making it would settle him too. It was crazy. He wanted this woman more than he’d wanted anyone in a good long time. Right now, watching her curl up on his sofa, all sexy and pretty, a spike of long-buried lust coursed through his body, powerful and strong. So no, his lack of desire wasn’t the issue here. And he certainly wasn’t having second thoughts. His nerves were entirely down to anxiety over his own performance. He wanted, desperately, not to let her down. To give them both a night to remember. He just wasn’t sure what he was capable of anymore.

When the fire was crackling, he returned to the kitchen to finish off the coffee. Carrying the two steaming mugs back into the living room he glanced over at Kat. The smile she gave him was so sweet, trying to be bold and bright but coming out slightly tremulous, that his apprehension instantly dissolved. Melted by a rush of emotion that included desire, but also a whole raft of other feelings he didn’t want to explore.

Carefully he placed the coffee on the table and sat down next to her, drawing his arm round her shoulders and easing her slender body against him. “This is the part where we neck,” he whispered softly.

Her mouth curved upward, and he took that as an invitation to gently touch her lips with his. He let his tongue probe and tease, and when she shyly parted her lips, he swallowed a groan and dived in. When he sensed her start to relax he pressed deeper still, shifting his body so that it was more firmly planted against hers. She tasted so sweet, and she felt even better. Exquisite. When he heard her moan of pleasure, confirming she was enjoying this too, the relief he felt was absolute. It was all the encouragement he needed to place his hand on her soft warm thigh, smoothing it up and down, slowly inching higher beneath the dress.

Gradually he felt her melt against him, which did wonders to his confidence.

“God, Kat, you feel incredible,” he murmured as his hands splayed over her stomach.

Suddenly she stiffened, turning her head away from him.

Instantly he sprang back. Hell, what had he done? Not done?

“Sorry,” she breathed, “it’s just...” Shaking her head, she looked down at the hem of her dress, now bunched up at her thighs. “It’s been a long time.”

“It’s been a while for me too,” he admitted quietly, drawing her gently back toward him, his eyes focused on hers, letting her see his insecurities.

Her face reflected her surprise. “What, not since your wife died?”

He dropped his gaze. “No. At least not when I’ve been sober.” Grimly his mind went back to those dark days after his wife and daughter’s death. For a while he’d used alcohol to try to numb the pain. When that hadn’t worked, he’d added sex to the equation. Out of his mind with drink, he’d had nameless, faceless sex. It wasn’t something he was proud of, or could even remember much of. It certainly wasn’t something he could talk to Kat about. When he looked back up, her trusting, compassionate eyes were still focused on him. “There haven’t been any times since Isabelle died that I’ve consciously wanted to make love to another woman,” he told her honestly. “Until now.”

She nodded. “For me there has only been one since Mark, and he barely counts because it was so brief. That was nearly three years ago.”

Suddenly he understood. Her nerves weren’t because she wasn’t sure. They were because going back with a man after a date wasn’t something she did. Until now. Until him. He felt incredibly privileged. “We make a great pair, don’t we?” He took a curl between his fingers and tucked it behind her ear, smiling when it sprang right back again. “How about we go upstairs and try and work this out between us? It shouldn’t be too difficult. Men and women have been doing it for thousands of years.”

Her warm laughter wound its way through his internal organs and settled over his heart.

Then she put her arms around his neck. “I’m game if you are.”

****

As Jake put his strong arms around her and carried her upstairs, Kat buried her face in the delicious warmth of his neck and felt her nerves disappearing. By the time he laid her down on his solid wooden bed, she thought she had herself under control.

“You know I’m pretty sure the process starts with us taking off our clothes,” he said softly, reaching round to undo the zipper on her back. “I bagsy we start with you first.”

She wanted to skip that part and get to the bit where she saw him naked, but she could see from the determined glint in his eye that he was going to do this his way. “I’d better warn you, I look better with my clothes on than with them off,” she told him as she felt the zip slowly slide down.

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

He peeled back her dress, his eyes roaming over the flesh he’d revealed. Soon his hand followed the same path as his eyes, running over her collarbone, across her breasts, and then downward.

Immediately she became very conscious of her less-than-flat stomach. Of her stretch marks. “I try to keep in shape.” God, she was going to start babbling. “But my stomach’s never been quite the same since I had Molly and...” she heaved in a ragged breath.

“Kat?”

She paused and looked into his eyes. The heat in them was enough to make her gasp.

“Will you please shut up?”

And that was it. She couldn’t have said any more, even if she’d wanted to, because his mouth descended on hers, and she was lost. He kissed her until she was as limp as a rag doll, until there was no room in her mind or body for thoughts of saggy breasts or too-soft stomachs. Or indeed anything but pleasure. And him. When he trailed a storm of kisses over her torso, taking particular care to tease her nipples, she moaned with delight. It was only when he settled over her body that she realized she was naked. But he wasn’t.

She didn’t want to feel his clothes against her. She wanted his flesh. Reaching up between them she tugged at his shirt, anxious to get at the body beneath. A body that had filled her dreams since she’d seen him coming out of his workshop, all sweaty and deliciously male.

Responding to her unspoken request, he sat up and quickly rid himself of his clothes. Before he had a chance to lay down on her again, she pushed him back against the bed. This was her turn now. Straddling over him, she feasted on the beauty that was his chest. Well-muscled, lean, sexy as hell. Unable to help herself she bent down to kiss the hot flesh, trailing kisses over the well-defined pecs. With a groan he lifted her head. “I need you now, Kat.”

And she could see from the flare in his eyes that he did. He turned, grabbing a condom from his bedside table before pushing her back onto the bed and moving over her. This time it felt perfect. His skin on hers. His taut muscles against her softer ones. Smoothing back the hair from her forehead, he slowly eased his hugely aroused body into hers. Kat sucked in a breath. Wow, he felt unbelievably good as he thrust his way in, filling her up. All the way. She arched her back in a primitive, instinctive gesture as he pushed his way up to the hilt. Then he began to move inside her, in and out in the age-old rhythm.

The experience she’d had to date, Kat realized, counted for nothing. This was so much more than she’d dreamt, more than she’d ever thought possible. Pleasure built up rapidly as he quickened the pace of his thrusts, devouring her mouth to the same intense rhythm that he devoured her body. She didn’t want it to end, but it was going to, she could feel it. Then, with an unrestrained cry of the most exquisite pleasure, she climaxed. A short while after, so did he.

****

Jake was still on top of her, trying, and failing, to catch his breath. He knew he should move. She was only a slight little thing, and he was a big hulking man. Still, he found he couldn’t. Not yet. Looking down, he saw her gazing up at him.

“That was...” She frowned slightly, obviously trying to think of the right words.

“Not bad for a guy who’s seriously out of practice?” he finished for her.

She grinned, the effect of it even more stunning than usual as her cheeks were flushed and her eyes sparkling. “I was going to say it was well worth waiting for.”

He smiled down into her eyes and suddenly he knew that this was more than just great sex.

Hell. He shifted onto his back, staring at the ceiling so she wouldn’t be able to read what he was thinking. Christ, he really wasn’t ready for anything serious. He was still having meltdowns over the loss of his wife and daughter, for heaven’s sake. Could he really afford to allow two more people into his heart, knowing as he did, how painful love could be?

Then again, what was the alternative? A chill ran through him as he tried to imagine not seeing this incredible woman again. Not making love to her again. Not getting to know her more. Not becoming part of her life. His heart tightened and as he shut his eyes against the pain, he knew he was lost. There was no way in this world he could push this lady away.

Suddenly he needed her warmth, needed to feel her soft body against his. “Will you stay the night?” he asked, drawing her up tightly against him. “Will you wake up with me? Perhaps let me practice on you a few more times before you have to go?”

“Umm, that sounds perfect,” she murmured before falling asleep, right there in his arms.

****

The next morning Kat had expected some awkwardness. And yes it did feel slightly odd waking up in someone else’s bed, her head on a strange pillow, her body covered by a dark navy duvet instead of the white and pink one she had at home. What she hadn’t expected, however, was how wonderful it would feel to find her body nestled against a large solid frame. How comforting to have a strong, warm arm wrapped around her waist. Reassuring and yet arousing, all at the same time. Especially arousing, in fact, when she started to realize he was still as naked as she was. And he was definitely awake.

She turned to face him. “Good morning...” Any words she might have spoken were cut off when he swooped down and kissed the very life out of her. Then proceeded to make love to her with the hunger of a man who hadn’t made love for years, not simply hours.

It was a long while later before she made any effort to get up.

“Do you mind if I have a shower?”

He lay with his hands behind his head, the duvet drawn down to his waist. His chest muscles rippled, his eyes shone, and his mouth turned up in a smile of pure male satisfaction. “Be my guest.”

With a brief sigh she took herself off to his bathroom. She didn’t actually want a shower. What she wanted was to dive back into bed with him. This was one of those rare times when she wished she only had herself to answer to. But she didn’t. Already she was late picking up Molly from her parents. She knew they loved having their granddaughter over for a sleepover, but equally they were busy people with busy lives. So it was time for the wanton woman of last night and this morning to change back into a dutiful mother, and let her parents get on with their day.

She stepped into the shower, enjoying the invigorating force of the hot spray. With a flicker of surprise she noted the Molton Brown shower gel. She hadn’t put him down as a man who would bother with such luxuries. She thought of him as a more down-to-earth type of guy.

When she’d finished in the shower she padded back into the bedroom to find he was still lying on the bed, only this time he’d thrown on a pair of jeans and T-shirt. And he’d made her coffee and toast.

“Bed and breakfast,” she remarked. “You’re spoiling me.”

“Enjoy it while you can. I don’t make a habit of it.”

What, she wondered, did that mean? He wouldn’t make a habit of having her stay over? Or of making her breakfast? All at once the insecurities of yesterday slammed home. Was this just a one-night stand to him? She hadn’t thought it was, not with the way he’d been acting, but now, in the cold light of day, she wasn’t sure.

Feeling as if the shine had already been taken off the day, she hunted down her underwear. Items she couldn’t remember taking off last night.

“I liked the shower gel,” she told him as she turned her back on him and struggled into the bra and pants. Only an hour ago he’d seen and touched every part of her body. Now she felt shy and awkward dressing in front of him.

“Isabelle used to buy it. I guess I’ve just become used to it.”

Ahh. That explained it. As she zipped up her dress she stole a glance at him. He seemed distant again, no longer the warm, easy man of last night. “Does it still hurt,” she asked softly, “remembering her, talking about her?”

He rubbed a hand over his jaw, making a scraping noise against the stubble. “No,” he replied finally. For a moment she thought that was all he was going to say, but then he picked up his coffee and continued. “It did at first. Every memory was like a stab through the heart. Now it’s more of a dull ache. Sometimes, if I’m lucky, it can be a warm glow.” His eyes grew sober. “I was incredibly lucky to have both her and my daughter in my life, even though their time was cruelly cut short.”

Kat nodded and looked away, unable to hold his gaze. There was so much this man had lived through. So much she still didn’t know. He’d loved his wife, though. That much was blindingly obvious. Suddenly she felt like an interloper. She didn’t belong here, with him. He was somebody else’s man.

“Right, well, I’d better go and get Molly. She’ll wonder where I am. For that matter, so will my parents. I’ll probably be subject to the equivalent of the Spanish inquisition when I go round there.” There she went again, babbling away. God, he must be dying to get rid of her so he could go back to his memories of his once- perfect life.

Grabbing her handbag, Kat opened the bedroom door and almost ran down the stairs.

“Where are you going in such a hurry?”

She glanced over her shoulder to find him following her. His hair was still tousled from sleep. Unlike the birds’ nest that she’d had to wash out of her locks, he looked amazingly sexy with it. “I’ve just said. I need to go and...”

“Collect Molly. Yes, I heard that bit. But you haven’t got a car here. You’ll need me to drop you off home.”

Damn. She’d forgotten that part. So much for the speedy-yet-dignified exit. “Sorry, yes, if you wouldn’t mind.”

He plucked his car key out of the back of his pocket. “Sure. Come on.”

****

The journey back to hers was quiet. Jake realized it was the first time since he’d known her that Kat wasn’t chatting away. Did she regret spending the night with him already? His heart faltered at the thought. She’d seemed happy enough making love to him this morning, but after her shower he sensed that she’d backed off, anxious to go home. Was it while she’d been showering that she’d had second thoughts about the two of them? Or was she just as scared as he was? For he couldn’t deny that he was definitely scared, bordering on terrified.

The impact of what he’d done had really hit home when Kat had asked about Isabelle. There he’d been, lying on his bed, naked, talking to another woman, one he’d just spent all night making love to, about his wife. It had seemed surreal. For years he’d tried to close off all thoughts about Isabelle, finding them too painful. Now it seemed he couldn’t stop talking about her, at least not to Kat. The two women were very different, chalk and cheese. Isabelle had been quiet, possessing a peaceful soul and a graceful beauty. Kat wasn’t anything like that. She was bubbly, chatty, strikingly pretty but not classically beautiful. However, they shared one remarkable similarity. He’d fallen headfirst in lust with them both. With Isabelle, it had led to love, marriage, and then unbearable heartbreak.

A brief flash of pain tore through his heart at the memory of Isabelle lying dead on their bed. Gripping tightly onto the steering wheel, he forced away the image and focused on the present. Coping with that was hard enough. God only knew where this fierce attraction toward Kat would lead. Quickly he stole a sideways glance at her face. It was still too pale, still too somber, and he let out a deep sigh. If it led anywhere at all, that was.

When he finally pulled up outside her house, his emotions were all over the place. “Here you go,” he announced, then winced. Talk about stating the bleeding obvious. Briefly he shut his eyes, the desire to smack himself on the head pretty damn hard to ignore.

“Right, yes, thanks.” She laughed, but to his ears it sounded forced. “I guess I’d better go and change. You know, so it doesn’t look like I’ve been out all night. Which of course I have.”

She looked so anxious to leave, he had to ask. “Do you wish you hadn’t?”

She snapped her head round. “No, of course not.”

How he wanted to believe her.

Narrowing his eyes, he studied her face. “Are you sure? You’ve been so quiet, so withdrawn. I figured you must be regretting what happened.”

Her eyes widened in shock, and she shook her head. “No, I don’t regret a single minute. It was a really incredible night.” He watched with interest as a blush stole across her cheeks. “I mean the dinner, and the conversation...yes, and of course, I mean the sleeping-with-you part, too.”

Relief positively gushed out of him. Laughing softly, he reached to put his arms around her. “I thought it was incredible too. Especially the sleeping-with-you part.”

“Did you? Did you really?”

Wow. Was she really thinking he hadn’t enjoyed it? “Yes, I did. Cross my heart and hope to die.”

Finally she smiled. “Good.” Her dimples were out in force and for a moment they simply looked at each other, grinning like fools. “Well, I guess this is where I say good-bye. Thanks for a lovely evening.”

He shook his head. “No, Kat, not good-bye. See you soon, until the next time, bye for now.” He kissed her softly on the lips. “Perhaps even in a while, crocodile. But not good-bye.”

Her brown eyes swirled with what he believed, hoped, to be pleasure. Certainly they seemed to shine more brightly than they had a few minutes ago. Then his gaze drifted back to her mouth, and he couldn’t resist stealing another kiss. A deeper one this time. One he hoped she’d read as a promise for more to come.

When they were both breathless, he drew back. As she climbed out of the truck he was pleased to note she looked as flushed and aroused as he felt.

He waited until she let herself into the house. Then, with his chest feeling tighter than usual, he put the truck into gear and drove away. He had a feeling that from now on nothing in his life was going to be the same.

****

Across the street, parked in his unobtrusive black car, Wade watched the pair of them lock lips and smiled in satisfaction. It looked like the cop and the head teacher were an item, after all. Well, wouldn’t you know? Now his revenge was going to be even more fun. Laughing softly to himself, he put down his binoculars, waited until the cop was out of sight, and then slowly pulled out into the road. He had some paint to buy.