Chapter Twelve

Jake deliberated long and hard over the following few days on when and how to make the next move on Kat. He knew damn well he wasn’t ready for a relationship. He’d told her he had a lot of baggage, but she didn’t know the half of it. Didn’t know the parts that still had him waking up in terror, shaking and sweating. So he had to take this thing, whatever it might turn out to be between them, slow and steady. Not so slow, however, that he pushed her away. He liked her. In truth he more than liked her, but he wasn’t ready to admit to anything more just yet. And call him arrogant, but he felt pretty sure she liked him too. She’d already admitted he was the first man she’d slept with in years, so by his reckoning that had to mean she thought he was something special.

As he tightened up a bolt on the climbing frame, he grimaced at his choice of the word special. He was a hell of a long way off that. There were things he’d done. Things he was ashamed of. He hadn’t only spent the last three years grieving over the loss of his family, he’d spent some of it grieving the loss of his self-respect too. Now he was trying to like himself again, but he wasn’t there yet, not by a long chalk.

All of which made the prospect of asking Kat out again far more tortuous than it should have been. He’d been back at the school for three days now. On each of those days she’d come out to see him, giving him ample opportunity to say something. So far fear had held him back. By now she was probably wondering what game he was playing. Or maybe he’d got it totally wrong and she couldn’t care less.

He huffed out a breath and set his shoulders. There was only one way to find out. No more procrastinating. It was high time he looked forward, not back. Time he went after what he wanted.

Putting down his tools, he walked purposefully into the school. He’d invite both Kat and Molly out to his place for a meal tomorrow. Give Molly that go on Cookie again. This time without making a twit of himself.

As he neared the office, he heard raised voices and immediately stiffened. It was the father of Rory Peters again. The one she’d had problems with earlier.

“You’d better watch your effing back, lady.”

At the sound of the words, and the malicious tone with which they were delivered, Jake walked straight through to Kat’s office and flung open the door.

“What’s going on here?” he demanded, his eyes zeroing in on the woman behind the desk.

She stared at him in surprise, her face flushed, something he usually enjoyed, but not when it was caused by anger. He wasn’t sure whether the anger was directed at him, because of the way he’d marched so unceremoniously into her office, or at Peters.

“Jake.” She avoided his eyes, and when she spoke her voice trembled ever so slightly. “I’ve been explaining to Mr. Peters that we’ve had to suspend Rory for five days. If there is any further trouble, the next step is to expel him.”

As she continued to look anywhere but at him, Jake realized it wasn’t just anger that had pinked up her cheeks. It was embarrassment.

Peters jabbed a finger at Kat. “If you think you can throw my son out of your pathetic toffee-nosed school, you’ve got another bloody thought coming.” Droplets of spit filled the air as he shouted his abuse.

Jake immediately positioned himself between the pair of them, his large frame easily dwarfing them both. “Do you want to explain exactly what you mean by Kat having to watch her effing back?” he asked softly.

He knew from his police training that the quiet calm of his words, in direct contrast to the bluster of the other man, would be more effective than shouting. And they were. Peters shut up. Moments ago, facing a petite female, he’d been bristling with self-righteous indignation. Now he had the look of a cornered man.

Jake spoke again into the silence. “You want to watch yourself,” he continued, staring down at the shorter man. “I’ve got contacts in places that would bring you out in a cold sweat. Give this lady any trouble, any trouble at all, and they’ll be over you like a rash. I’m sure a man like you wouldn’t want that, would you?”

“I don’t know what you mean.” He tried to bluster back, but his voice had lost its swagger.

“Oh, I think you do. Now beat it.”

****

Kat watched the exchange with interest. She’d always had a feeling there was more to Jake than the simple carpenter. The assured way he carried himself, not quite a strut, but definitely the look of a man who knew he could handle what was thrown at him. Now she’d seen that confidence in action. Quiet authority had simply dripped from him. Most men would have gone in with a raised voice and fists. Jake had spoken to Nick Peters with a cold control that had been far more intimidating.

When she was sure her would-be assailant was out of the building, Kat eased up from behind her desk. “I don’t know what to say,” she began, annoyed to find her voice shaking. “I mean I should be annoyed with you, barging in like that on a private conversation, but...” she sighed. “The truth is I wasn’t handling the whole situation very well, so your intervention was really timely. Thank you.”

Jake took hold of her hands and held them both inside his. Kat could feel the trembling start to slowly recede at his reassuring touch.

“You were handling him just fine, Kat, and I’m sorry if my striding in like the cavalry caused you any loss of face. It wasn’t my intention. I have to confess that when I heard him shouting at you, I didn’t think, I just…well, acted.” He looked down at their clasped hands. “Bullies like him, they like nothing better than to frighten people who are smaller than they are. Sometimes height is all you need.”

It was more than Jake’s physical size that had scared Nick Peters away, but Kat let the comment slide. “What did you mean by your contacts? I got the impression you weren’t just bluffing.”

Abruptly Jake dropped her hands. “I used to be in the police force,” he replied shortly, his tone that of a man who didn’t want to discuss it.

“The police? Wow.” Slightly stunned, she went to sit on the edge of her desk, her legs suddenly needing the support.. “Policeman to carpenter.” She studied Jake, but his handsome face was inscrutable. “It’s a big jump.”

He eyed her silently for a moment. Then, thrusting his hands in his pockets, he edged toward the door. “It’s a long story...”

“And not one you’re prepared to tell me,” Kat cut in, her temper flaring. There he went again. The guarded, flat eyes. The reticence about letting her in. One minute he was warm and caring. The next a stranger. What was it with this man and his blasted secrets? She was getting sick of them.

“Look, Kat...”

She shook her head. “It’s okay. I get it. I’m good enough to sleep with but not to share any confidences with. Fine. I understand my place.” But it hurt. Really hurt.

Groaning, he moved back toward her, taking one of his hands out of his pockets to thrust it through his hair. “Hell, no, it’s not like that, not like that at all.” Once more he held one of her hands, entwining his fingers with hers, clearly struggling with what to say. “I’m sorry,” he replied softly. “I don’t mean to hide things. I’m just not very good at talking about them.” He gave her a slightly crooked smile. “You already know more about me than anyone else in this village.”

“And if I want to know more?” she asked, her voice scratchy. “If I want to have a relationship that involves conversation and not just sex?” As the words left her mouth, she cursed inwardly. She’d just mentioned the relationship word. Guaranteed to make the average man run a mile.

But Jake didn’t look like he was about to head for the hills. Instead he nodded gravely and kissed the palm of her hand so tenderly that her heart flipped slowly in her chest. “That’s what I want too,” he answered softly. “A relationship that involves conversation and sex. Just, you know, give me time? Please?”

The plea in his eyes was heart wrenching. “Okay.” She cleared her throat, which seemed to have closed up during their conversation. God she was falling for this man. Falling so hard, it was scary. “Perhaps we could start with the conversation part tonight. Would you like to come round for a meal?”

Once more he let go of her hand, though this time he did it more carefully. Right before he swore and took a step back. “Kat, I’m sorry, tonight I can’t. I’ve got something...” He shook his head. “Something I need to do.”

Well great. Kat had never been slapped in the face, but now she had a good idea how that would feel. “Fine,” she replied coolly, standing up and moving to sit at her desk, deliberately putting a barrier between them. “Even I get the message now.”

“Jesus, Kat, stop jumping to conclusions, I...”

The door to the office suddenly opened, and Angela popped her head round. “Oh, sorry, am I interrupting?”

Kat shook her head. “No, you’re not.” She turned to glare at Jake. “Mr. Holroyd was just leaving.”

He stared at her, clearly frustrated, but finally nodded and left.

Angela watched him go and then turned to Kat. “I have a feeling my timing really sucked.”

Shaking her head, Kat sighed. “No. If anything it was just right. You stopped me making a bigger fool of myself than I have already.”

“Kat, are you and Jake, well, an item?” Quickly she raised her hand. “You don’t have to tell me, but I know you go over to talk to him a lot. I’ve seen the way he looks at you and you at him. It doesn’t take a genius to work out that there’s mutual attraction.”

Kat let out a laugh threaded with bitterness. “Oh, there’s physical attraction, all right. Sadly I think that’s all there is.” Reaching for the pile of papers on her in tray, Kat took in a deep breath. “Anyway, I’ve got too much work to do to sit here worrying about the likes of Jake Holroyd.” She looked up at Angela. “What was it you wanted? Please tell me it’s some good news. I could really do with some right now.”

“Well it depends how you define good. Tommy from year two has locked himself in the toilet again.”

With a small grimace, Kat got up from her desk. Who said being a head teacher wasn’t glamorous?

****

As he drove away, Jake cursed. How had he gone from inviting Kat over to dinner, to having her screaming mad at him? The irony of it was, he hadn’t even had the chance to ask her; she’d got in there first. Then, before he’d managed to suggest an alternative plan, he’d found himself as good as thrown out of her office. He let out a deep, despairing sigh. God, he was useless when it came to women. He could manage the physical side well enough, but the emotional part. The communication. He was hopeless at that.

It amazed him that he’d actually managed to get married. Then again, that hadn’t been down to any skill on his part. No, it had been the stubborn persistence of his wife. Quite why she’d decided he was the one, he still didn’t understand, though he’d always be grateful for it. She’d chased him. Subtly, of course, but in a manner that had made it almost impossible for him to cock it up. It was only when they were finally married that he’d started to relax enough to open up. To be able to tell her how he was feeling. Then fate had interfered and cruelly taken her away from him.

Now he was back to square one. To being unable to communicate with someone of the opposite sex. Only it was worse, because there were things that had happened in his life that he really couldn’t talk about. There was simply no way he could go back and open up that box again. Not when it had taken him three long years to close it. During that time he’d been through hell and back but now he truly felt he was coming out on the other side. Which was why he absolutely couldn’t afford to revisit it all again.

As a consequence of that, when anyone came close to touching on his past, as Kat had done, he froze. It wasn’t because he was only interested in sleeping with her. He enjoyed her company, damn it. She was funny and smart as well as being so cute he wanted to kiss the freckles off her button nose. Not that he was going to get that opportunity again soon. Not after today’s fiasco. The devil of it was, he even wanted to talk to Kat, to share confidences and anecdotes. Just as long as they kept off the subject of his wife and daughter, and how they’d died.

Indicating, Jake turned the car into the lane he knew so well. One he’d driven down many times over the last few years. In the days following his family’s death, it had been daily. Sometimes more. As time had gone on, his need to visit had lessened. Today he was visiting not because he needed to, but because he wanted to, which was entirely different. It was also something he could talk to Kat about. If she’d just give him the chance to explain.