CHAPTER FIFTEEN
RESPECT
Breaking Down Walls
Sarah was smart and articulate. She was also an open book. You never had to guess where you stood with her. If she thought something was wrong, unfair, or simply stupid, she’d let you know. She kowtowed to nobody.
A few months after she started coming to our church, she sat in my office explaining to me how she viewed the world. She thought most people were spineless, too easily pushed around. They lacked guts and boundaries. They had no idea how to stand up for the truth—or themselves.
She was also convinced that most people worried too much about what other people thought. She was proud to be different. She didn’t care. If someone didn’t like hearing the hard truth, that was their problem, not hers. And if someone didn’t like the boundaries she’d set, that too was their problem, not hers.
She then went on to complain about a long series of unfair workplace environments, the clueless bosses she’d worked for, the disloyalty of former friends, and an idiot ex-husband.
Suddenly, in the midst of her diatribe, she stopped. She stared at the ground for a long time saying nothing. Then she began to tremble before collapsing on the floor in a flood of uncontrollable tears.
I sat there dumbfounded.
I hadn’t seen it coming.
She didn’t seem like the type.
Through her heaving sobs she asked me why God was so mad at her, why she couldn’t keep a job, why her friends kept turning on her, and why she was so lonely.
I didn’t have the heart to tell her.
Everything about her was a relationship repellent.
She thought she was honoring God by standing up for truth and justice. She thought she was protecting herself with strong boundaries. She thought refusing to “kiss up” to those in power was a sign of strength.
But Sarah’s big problem was that she saw respect as a one-way street. She demanded it from others, but she gave it sparingly. They had to earn it.
Her approach to life and others was the antithesis of biblical humility.
Biblical humility offers respect to everyone. And it goes much deeper than the hollow “yes, sir” or “no, sir” of a Southern gentleman. It’s the real deal, a heartfelt deference that comes from the recognition that everyone bears the image of God, no matter how marred that image might be.1
Daniel-like Respect
This is the kind of respect that Daniel and his three friends showed toward everyone they came across. They never copped an attitude. From their jailers to a series of wicked kings, they treated them all with a profound and humble respect. It didn’t matter if they were seeking to be exempted from a nonkosher menu or firmly refusing to bow down to worship an idol.2
I find that their respectful attitude, words, and behavior were radically different from the anger and resentment that is so common among many of us today, especially when it comes to how we respond to those who are strongly opposed to our values and faith.
Genuinely Concerned for Their Best Interests
Daniel genuinely desired the best for his captors. Much like Joseph, he endeared himself to them with humble service and a heartfelt concern for their best interests.3
Consider the way he responded when God revealed to him that he was going to bring down the hammer on Nebuchadnezzar. Daniel told the king, “My lord, if only the dream applied to your enemies and its meaning to your adversaries!”4
I’m afraid I might have said something quite different. Something like, “I’ve got news for you, big boy. Your sins have found you out. God is about to judge you big-time—and it’s not a moment too soon.”
Willing to Accept God’s Sovereign Assignment
Daniel’s humble respect was tied to his firm belief that God is in control of who is in control. It wasn’t merely a theological axiom. It was a reality he lived by.
He saw Nebuchadnezzar as God’s servant, a wicked king allowed to reign for a period of time in order to fulfill God’s sovereign purpose—in this case, the discipline and judgment of Jerusalem for the sins of its people.
Daniel wasn’t respectful because Nebuchadnezzar deserved it.
He was respectful because God commanded it.
Unfortunately, Daniel’s outlook and actions are incredibly rare today.
Nothing Has Changed
I’ve heard every possible excuse as to why Daniel’s and Joseph’s responses to godless masters and leaders won’t work today.
None of them hold water.
No matter how bad things get, the path of humble service and respect toward those God has placed in temporary authority has always been the path God calls us to take.
Consider the words of Jeremiah, a contemporary of Daniel. He told the Israelites who were reluctant to serve the king of Babylon that they were wrong. God wanted them to humbly submit during his short season of power and authority.
Do not listen to your prophets, your diviners, your interpreters of dreams, your mediums or your sorcerers who tell you, “You will not serve the king of Babylon.” They prophesy lies to you that will only serve to remove you far from your lands; I will banish you and you will perish. But if any nation will bow its neck under the yoke of the king of Babylon and serve him, I will let that nation remain in its own land to till it and to live there, declares the LORD.5
The apostle Peter said much the same thing to those who were suffering under the thumb of the Roman government—and a crazy tyrant named Nero.
Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human authority: whether to the emperor, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people. Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as God’s slaves. Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor.6
And here’s how the apostle Paul put it:
Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.7
The clarity of these commands is unmistakable. There’s no way to get around it. Which is why I’m befuddled by many of the things I’ve heard on Christian radio, read in blogs, seen posted on social media, and heard in hallway conversations. There’s a marked absence of Daniel-like honor and respect toward godless leaders and a great deal of ridicule, contempt, bitterness, and even hatred.
It’s no wonder we keep losing influence.
We’re building up walls instead of breaking them down.
The fact is, if we’re unwilling to treat godless leaders with respect, we’ll have no chance of influencing their decisions and actions. No one listens to people who look down on them with contempt or disdain. When we know that others don’t like or respect us, we shut them out, become defensive, or go on the attack. Which is precisely how our culture has responded to Christians at large.
It’s a Long Road
It’s important to realize that the path of humility doesn’t always pay off immediately. In fact, it seldom pays off immediately—or even quickly.
Daniel did the right thing despite being kidnapped, castrated, forced to study the occult, having his name changed to honor a demon, and then thrust into the service of a wicked king. I’m pretty sure he had no idea how things would turn out. If you had told him, he wouldn’t have believed you.
He didn’t humbly serve his Babylonian captors because he expected a quick reward. He did it because it was the right thing to do.
The same goes for Joseph. He walked the path of humble respect and service, even though it seemed like every time he did the right thing, it brought the wrong results. He had to be the most shocked person in the world when in one fell swoop he went from a forgotten prisoner to second in all of Egypt.
It was only after the fact that he could look back and see that God was at work turning the things others meant for evil into good. Until that moment, he had no idea his greatest tragedy would become his greatest blessing.8
It’s the same for us today.
The path of humble respect and service seldom pays off immediately.
It’s not something we do for short-term gain.
It’s something we do because God says to do it—whether it works out or not.