“I’m desperate for supplies. Can we stop at the grocery store after church?” Ainsley was thankful Marshall had offered to drive her into town Sunday morning. His truck handled the high winds better than her small car. She peeked at him as they made the twenty-minute drive into Sweet Dreams. He had trimmed his scruff, and every now and then a whiff of his aftershave blew her way. The man smelled good.
This was the first time she’d ventured off the property since arriving. Not only did she need the peace of a worship service, she needed a break from living on the ranch. She hoped Marshall wouldn’t be in a hurry to go back this afternoon.
“You got it. I’m running low, myself.” He kept the heel of one hand on top of the steering wheel, while adjusting the heat settings with the other.
She hadn’t seen him much in the few days since Thanksgiving, and she hadn’t been able to get what he’d told her off her mind. At the time, she’d been trying to process what he was saying. Only later did the barrage of questions hit her. Like how could a mother send her son away to a group foster home and never see him again? Or defend a man abusing her children?
How could a mother walk away from her own kids and never look back?
She stared out the window at the open plains. She and Marshall had that in common. Both of their mothers had ditched them. Did his heart have scar tissue the way hers did?
“After the service, we can have breakfast at Dottie’s Diner if you’d like.” Marshall glanced at her. “I haven’t been in to see her for a while.”
“I’d like that. I’ve only met her once. She’s a friend of my roommate’s mother.” The day was shaping up better than she’d hoped. Church. A hot meal in a restaurant. And stocking up on supplies. She really should pick up a few Christmas decorations, too. One thing she’d always insisted on was decking the halls with strand upon strand of Christmas lights and homemade gingerbread ornaments for the tree.
The gingerbread tradition had begun out of necessity when she was eleven. Her mother had left the previous summer, taking all the Christmas decorations with her. Every last one. And with Dad drinking away their rent money, there’d been nothing to do but make decorations. The ranch cook where they’d been living had given Ainsley the recipe.
She’d made them every year since. They were her way of reminding herself Christmas would go on no matter what.
A small herd of wild horses huddling together in the distance caught her eye. Poor things. The cold wind would be brutal for any animal outside on a day like this. She snuggled into her scarf. At least she had a warm ride to church.
Main Street came into view, and Ainsley soaked the town in. Storefronts displayed Christmas decorations, and evergreen wreaths hung on doors and light posts. The word charming barely did the town justice.
“My friend Clint’s wife, Lexi, owns that building.” He pointed to the corner. Above the entrance in the brick, Department Store was spelled out.
“It doesn’t look like a department store.” She craned her neck to keep it in view as they passed by.
He chuckled. “It isn’t. It’s a banquet hall. She’s a wedding planner.”
A wedding planner? Sounded frilly and unrealistic. Fancy weddings were for people who led different lives, normal ones. Unlike her, those kind of people had dads to walk them down the aisle and grandparents who would beam with pride.
“What does Clint do?” She took note of the other stores. A barber, real estate agency, insurance company, coffee shop and jeweler all occupied the town.
“He runs Rock Step Ranch. It was passed down to Lexi from her father after he died.” Marshall pointed to the other side of the street. “See Amy’s Quilt Shop? My friend Nash married Amy the weekend Belle went into labor with the quadruplets.”
She shifted in her seat. Marshall sure had a lot of friends nearby. She’d thought of him as a loner. Maybe she’d been wrong.
“My buddy Wade lives in the area, too, but he’s about half an hour from Sweet Dreams, and his ranch is pretty secluded. Maybe you’ll be able to meet some of them while you’re here.”
“Maybe.” What would his friends think of her? She looked down at her long, puffy black jacket. She’d purchased it from a discount store on a 75 percent off clearance rack last spring. The dark gray slacks and burgundy sweater she’d bought at a thrift store for three bucks each. She didn’t have much money for extras.
Oh, well. She’d lived this long without caring about other people’s opinions, so why should she start now?
Marshall turned down a side road, and within minutes they were walking toward the church entrance.
“What a lovely church.” She stumbled on a crack in the pavement, and Marshall took her by the elbow to steady her. She murmured her thanks. The white siding and steeple looked picture-perfect.
“It is, isn’t it?” He held the door open, and she swept past him. “I haven’t been here in a while.”
“Why not?” She couldn’t imagine not attending church regularly.
“I’ve got responsibilities.” He hung up his coat and reached for hers.
“Everyone has responsibilities.” She handed him her coat. “What about priorities?”
“My priorities are Belle and the babies.” They entered the worship area and found an empty pew near the middle.
“If God isn’t number one in your life, something needs to change.” As she flipped over the service handout, she wished she could take the words back. Who was she to lecture anyone on their faith? “I’m sorry, Marshall. I don’t mean to sound so judgy.”
“It’s okay. I don’t expect you to understand. Oh, hey, there’s Clint and Lexi.” He pointed to an attractive couple on the other side of the aisle. The slender woman had long, wavy brown hair, and the man next to her was tall with short brown hair. “Nash, Amy and Ruby are behind them to the left.”
Another extremely good-looking couple, but this one had a young girl—a cute little blonde. “Who’s Ruby?”
“Ruby is Nash’s little sister, but he and Amy are raising her as their daughter.”
Ainsley couldn’t stop staring at the adorable child. She looked so cute putting stickers on a paper. Every now and then she would glance up at her dark-haired mommy with a big smile. The girl reminded Ainsley of herself at that age, except her mother and father never brought her to church.
“What about your other friend, Wade?” Ainsley looked around for a single man about Marshall’s age. A few guys seemed to fit.
“I haven’t seen Wade in church since we were at Yearling Group Home together.”
Ainsley frowned. How sad. The pastor started the service then, and she got lost in the beautiful hymns and sermon.
A pause was taken for silent prayers. Thank You, Lord, for the opportunity to take care of the quadruplets. Please open Marshall’s friend Wade’s heart to a relationship with You and bring Marshall to church regularly.
The need to pray for something else tugged on her subconscious.
She hadn’t thought about nursing school or the hospital job in over a week. She could chalk it up to the unrelenting focus of caring for infants, but she refused to lie to herself. The babies weren’t taking her mind off her goals. Marshall was.
She’d never had a male friend before. Eating dinner with him every night was not only relaxing, it was fun. They got along well. He was easy to talk to.
Face it, Ainsley, he’s a distraction.
She’d worked too hard and for too long to let anything budge her from becoming a nurse. Please let the hospital look at my application with favor so I can land the job. And let me be accepted into nursing school.
As the service wrapped up, she felt confident God was holding her in His arms and steering her on the path she’d chosen after leaving her father. The people she’d loved might have let her down, but God wouldn’t. God would never let her down.
Her thoughts turned to Belle, and she brought her hand to her heart, almost gasping.
She hadn’t prayed for Belle—not once since she’d met her.
And who needed her prayers more than the mother of those dear babies?
Lord, please convince Belle to get the medical help she needs and fill her with the desire to mother the infants. And grant me patience with her.
She didn’t want the quadruplets to grow up without a loving mother. If praying would change Belle’s heart, she’d keep doing it. Gladly.
* * *
“It’s good to see you, slick.” Dottie Lavert set laminated menus on the table of the booth and turned to Ainsley. “How are the babies, peaches? I’m sure their mama appreciates the extra hands.”
Marshall shook his head. He’d never understood Dottie’s nickname for him. And where did peaches come from? He peeked at Ainsley. She did have a sweet, wholesome look about her. He certainly hoped Belle appreciated Ainsley’s extra hands. He knew he did.
“The babies are really sweet.” Ainsley’s smile was bright and genuine. She didn’t seem fazed by the nickname. She nodded to the menu. “What do you recommend?”
“What are you hungry for?” Dottie’s silver hair was twisted up in the back, and poufy bangs curved over her forehead. She was a plump woman with a heart of gold. “The omelets will fill you right up, but the waffles will tickle your taste buds.”
“I’ll have the waffles.” Ainsley snapped her menu shut.
He liked a woman who knew her mind. He smiled at Dottie. “And I’ll have the Western omelet.”
“Comin’ right up.” Dottie winked and left.
Ainsley tore two sugar packets and dumped them into her coffee. “Your friends all seemed nice.”
Marshall had introduced her to them after church, and he was relieved Ainsley approved.
She stirred the sugar into the brew. “How long have Clint and Lexi been together?”
“About a year.” He took a sip of the black coffee. Hot and strong, the way he liked it.
“Ruby is a cutie pie.”
“She has us all wrapped around her little finger. It’s good to see her so talkative.”
“What do you mean?” Her eyebrows drew together.
“Before Ruby went to live with Nash and Amy, she’d been neglected. Nash hadn’t known she existed.”
“The poor, dear thing.” Ainsley’s tone reeled with anguish.
“Yeah, we’re all happy she’s here.”
She got a faraway look in her eyes. “I looked like her when I was little. Blond hair, skinny.” She dipped her chin for a moment. “Seeing her brought back memories.”
“Good ones?”
“Some.” She wouldn’t meet his gaze.
He wished all her memories were good. “And the others?”
She gave her head a soft shake, her hair spilling over her shoulders in the process.
“I’m sorry.” He shouldn’t have pressed her, knowing she’d cut ties with her dad.
His own memories weren’t worth dwelling on either. He’d been such a naive kid. Why had he ever believed his mom would stick up for them? Best to shove his past in the back of his mind where it belonged.
Dottie set enormous platters of food in front of them. “One order of waffles and a Western omelet. You kids holler if you need anything.”
He looked around the retro diner with its vinyl booths and stools, the long counter filled with the Sunday crowd. The sound of conversations, laughter and a cook barking out orders filled the air. A place like this was no place to get stuck in rotten childhood memories.
“It’s our day off, and we’re going to enjoy it.” He reached for the saltshaker. “Prepare yourself for a stick-to-your-ribs breakfast. After that, I’ll take you wherever you’d like.”
Her lips curved up. “Thanks, Marshall.”
Hearing his name on her lips made his heart wobble. “You’re welcome.”
Wobbly hearts were no good. It meant he’d begun to care about her, and caring brought responsibilities. He couldn’t be there for Ainsley and Belle, not when Ainsley planned on leaving in a few weeks.
Maybe it was good she had a life in Laramie that didn’t include the quadruplets or him. Then he wouldn’t have to make impossible decisions, and life would continue the way it was.
* * *
Sweet Dreams was messing with her head. The more time Ainsley spent with Marshall, the more she was losing her grip on her emotions.
She’d put her mother’s abandonment behind her. She’d moved on from her guilt about her father. And she no longer thought about the little girl she’d been. So why were these issues bubbling up like the vinegar and baking soda volcano she’d made for the science fair as a kid?
“Here we are. It’s not exactly a shopping mecca, but you should be able to find most of your list in here.” Marshall pushed the shopping cart toward the produce aisle in Sweet Dreams Groceries. Ainsley stayed close to him. Her pants felt ready to burst from the delectable waffles she’d overindulged in. The breakfast she’d polished off an hour ago was the least of her problems, though.
Ainsley Draper did not mourn the lonely child she’d been. She didn’t dwell on her father’s problems. Not anymore. And she certainly didn’t fall for caring, attractive cowboys who actually liked her enough to want to cheer her up.
Well, she’d never met a gorgeous cowboy who wanted to cheer her up before, so maybe that was part of the issue.
Your emotions don’t control you, Ainsley. You control them. So take your shopping list out of your purse and get it together already!
After taking a deep breath, she calmly unfolded her list and started adding apples and navel oranges to the cart. When they finished selecting vegetables, they continued through the meat and dairy sections.
“I need to find the breakfast items and the baking section.” She tried not to notice the man next to her, but something about his strong, calloused hands on the bar of the cart mesmerized her. The same hands that gently changed the babies’ diapers also worked hard on a demanding ranch. Marshall had a quiet strength.
“Baking, huh?” He grinned her way. “Sounds good.”
“It’s not what you think.” She walked tall, feeling brighter. “It’s for my Christmas decorations.”
“You bake your decorations?”
“Yes, I make gingerbread ornaments every year, and I’ll be starting them this afternoon.” She couldn’t remember when she’d wanted to make them as much as she did now.
“You need some help?” He turned down the cereal aisle.
Did she need help? She almost laughed. She’d been making them on her own for thirteen years. No one had ever helped before.
The thought almost stopped her in her tracks.
No one had helped her because she’d had no one close enough to want to be involved. Her roommate, Tara Epworth, would have pitched in last year, but she worked full-time and went to school, leaving no hours for fun.
Did Ainsley want help? She shot him a sideways glance. “I’m sure you have better things to do.”
He tossed a box of chocolate cereal in the cart. “Not really. Raleigh would love it if I was out riding pasture all day, but...”
She chuckled, then bit her lower lip. Maybe having a helper wouldn’t be the worst thing.
“I don’t blame you if you want to be alone.” He stopped in front of the granola bars and searched for the box he wanted. He selected peanut butter with chocolate chips.
She debated how to answer.
“I’ve got things to catch up on, anyhow,” he said, sounding regretful.
“Like what?” She tilted her head, watching his reaction.
He faced her and blinked. A sheepish grin spread across his face.
“I don’t know. I’ll think of something.”
“Of course you can help.” She waved his words away. “And in the meantime, I have a bunch of Christmas items I need to find.”
“I think we’ll find the Christmas stuff this way.” He pointed to the left.
They wound their way through the store, and Ainsley filled the cart with two boxes of white Christmas lights, a tabletop artificial tree, candy canes, sparkly white ribbon and an inexpensive silver star for the tree topper.
When they’d checked out, they loaded their goodies into Marshall’s truck and hopped inside to escape the wind. Ainsley blew on her hands as Marshall started the vehicle and reached behind her headrest to back out of the spot. His wrist was close to her cheek. Her pulse took off.
This wasn’t just a friend she’d been hanging out with. Marshall was an attractive man—not only physically but inside, as well. She shouldn’t have told him he could help. Wasn’t she supposed to be focused on her agenda? The one where she drove off at the end of December, got the job in the ICU and hunkered down to get her nursing degree?
Well, one afternoon wouldn’t destroy her plans.
At least, she hoped it wouldn’t.
If she was wrong, something told her making gingerbread decorations with Marshall this afternoon would be the best mistake she ever made.