“I’m looking for Zack Grayson.” I give my best “I belong in your ritzy hotel smile” to the clerk at the front desk of the Devonian Palace Hotel. She checks out my Cute but Psycho tank top, flannel check shirt, and cargo skirt and responds with a tight-lipped smirk.
“Do you have a room number?”
“Um…no.”
“Is he expecting you?” She tilts her head, and her perfectly coiffed, sleek black bob swings along her jawline.
“No.” But I know he’s staying here. Sadist gave me the details, and when it comes to information, no one knows more than him.
“Then I’m afraid I can’t help you.”
“Could you just call and let him know I’m here? He was hurt in a fight last night, and I’m worried about him. He hasn’t answered any of my texts or phone messages.” With each passing minute, I regret even more my decision to visit Zack, but after Sadist told me what happened with the Predator last night, I had to come.
“If he were staying with us, and I’m not saying he is, because we are very careful about the privacy of our celebrity guests—”
Celebrity guest. Sometimes I forget just how famous Zack still is.
“I wouldn’t wish to disturb him unnecessarily.” Her gaze flicks to my purse and back to me.
Hope flickers in my chest, and I pull a few bills out of my purse that I can ill afford to part with. “I’m sure he’ll be happy to see me.”
“The lounge is very comfortable,” she says, slipping the money in her jacket. “You never know who you’ll meet.”
I follow the low hum of voices into a chic, dark wood-paneled lounge, all yellow leather chairs and eclectic designs. Men in suits or chinos, and button-down shirts wine and dine with women in slinky evening wear, their faces abnormally tanned and their bodies so thin that they almost look anorexic. I look around for Zack, and then I hear her.
Sandy’s distinctive high, shrill laugh filters through the low hum of chatter and the clink of glassware.
I search the crowd and find her only a few tables away. She is wearing a beautiful sleeveless cream cocktail dress, and her long, blond hair falls in artful curls over her shoulders. With her back to me, she doesn’t know I’m here, but Zack, sitting across the table from her, does.
His gaze locks on me, and his eyes widen. He’s wearing a long-sleeved black shirt, mouth-wateringly tight around his broad chest, tucked into a pair of dress pants. Except for the fact that his face is battered and bruised and he sports a white bandage over his nose, he fits right in. Zack the celebrity fighter and Sandy the socialite. And the two people at the table, the blond woman dripping in diamonds and the man in Armani, must be her parents.
And then there’s me. Grunge in every sense of the word but now comfortable in my skin.
“Shay.” Zack stands so abruptly, his chair almost falls over.
Sandy turns, her perfectly tweezed brow lifts, and she gives me a slightly puzzled frown. “What are you doing here?”
My fingers tighten around my gym bag containing a first aid kit and a few boxes of bandages. What am I doing here? Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment. Or maybe I learned nothing about establishing boundaries when I was with Damian. Most likely I’m here because I have not suffered enough pain in my life, and I am obviously needing some more. Or maybe, after bringing down an armed intruder with the skills I learned at Redemption, I’m finally ready to overcome my fear, take a risk, and embrace the things I want in life.
“I heard about the fight,” I say to Zack. “I just came to make sure you were okay.” I give Sandy a tight smile. “Looks like you’re just fine.”
Poised to leave, I imagine myself turning and walking away, leaving Zack in Sandy’s clutches, just as I did a few weeks ago when I told her we weren’t together. And then I imagine a new Shayla. A now Shayla. A woman who survived a broken heart and a broken body. A woman who destroyed Evil Elsa and faced a much more seasoned competitor in a sanctioned amateur fight. A woman who stared down the barrel of a gun and didn’t for one moment accept that she might die.
I wrap the strength and passion of that woman around me. And then I close the distance between Zack and me. I slide one arm around his neck, and I kiss him the way he kissed me when he found me outside the Protein Palace with Reg.
I kiss him with passion. I kiss him because I want him. I kiss him because he’s mine and I want the world to know.
“I’m Shayla Tanner. It’s nice to meet you,” I say to Sandy’s parents as I turn away. “Sorry to interrupt.”
“Shay.” Zack calls after me, and I can hear him offer his excuses to Sandy and her family.
“Shayla. Wait.”
I walk faster, weave in and out of the crowds. I want him to chase me. I want him to want me. I want him to beg for forgiveness. This time, nothing less will do.
He catches up with me just outside the hotel. Raindrops fall lightly from the sky, washing away the dust and grime. Strong arms wrap around me from behind, and he hugs me tight.
“You came.”
“I thought you were hurt.” He feels so good against me, it’s hard not to sink into his warmth.
Not yet, I tell myself. You are worth an apology. You are owed an explanation.
“Let’s get out of the rain and where people aren’t watching us.” He walks me down the alley beside the building where an overhang from the side entrance shelters us.
“So,” he says, looking down at me, his eyes warm and soft.
“So. Sandy…”
“Her parents are here to finalize the paperwork for the sponsorship deal I told you about. I’m back at work as a recruiter and leaving for New York tomorrow so it had to be today. We were supposed to take some pictures for the promo materials, too, but I guess this isn’t the image they want to project.” He gently touches his nose.
I would laugh, but I’m still trying to process what he said. He’s leaving. I try not to let him see my shock, because I should be happy. This is what I wanted. I told him to get out of my room and out of my life. I told him I never wanted to see him again.
And yet, here I am.
“You don’t look as bad as me,” I say, running a finger over my puffy face.
He studies me and his eyes narrow. “You have fresh bruises.”
“Cheryl and I might have come across Sol and his friend engaged in a little corporate espionage the other night. And I may have had a gun pointed at me by a not-very-nice guy.”
Zack tenses, and his eyes go wide. “What the hell?”
“Calm down,” I say in a soothing tone. “I wrestled the gun away from him, took him down to the ground, and had him pinned by the time Joe arrived. Cheryl’s in the hospital with a concussion, but she’ll be okay.”
Even in the semidarkness, I can tell he’s about to lose it from the way the pulse throbs in his neck, the stark look in his eyes, and the fact that his chest isn’t moving.
“Breathe.” I lean up and nuzzle his neck. “I’m okay. More than okay. I was offered a promotion, although it would mean moving to another facility.”
Zack lets out his breath with a rush of curses and exclamations and ties it all up in a bow of, “Where is he? I’m going to kill him.”
“He’s in jail. Sol, too. He got away but I’d beat him up so badly, he had to go to a hospital and the police found him.” I lift an eyebrow. “You should be reassured by the fact that I can clearly take care of myself both in and out of the ring. I don’t need anyone to protect me or to take my choices away.”
We stare at each other as the rain patters around us, muffling the sounds of the city streets. We are alone in our bubble of darkness. Me and Zack against the world.
“What do you want?” he asks. “I’ll do anything, give anything, to have you back.”
“I want you. The real you, and not the idealized image I had when we were together in Glenwood. I want you with the pain you carry in your heart and the anger you carry inside. I want your strength and your courage. I want your overprotectiveness and willingness to cross any line for the people you care about. I want your beauty and your flaws. And I want an apology.”
He lets out a relieved breath and his shoulders slump. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I saw you fall, and all I could think about was Okami. I would have done anything to stop you getting back into that ring. I can’t lose you. Not again.” He leans down and kisses me, his lips warm despite the cool, moist air.
“But you’re leaving.”
“I’ll be back.” He pulls out his wallet and shows me a purple plastic card. “I have a permanent membership to Redemption.”
“I heard you lost your fight with the Predator,” I say as he tucks his wallet away.
“I lost that fight but won another. Apparently, it was enough to earn the card.” He slips his hand under my clothes, cups my breast in his hand, his cool, wet skin making me shiver.
With a sigh of longing, I run my tongue over the seam of his lips. Touching. Tasting. Committing his mouth to memory as if I might never get the chance to kiss him again.
Zack groans and tightens one arm around me, molding me to him as if we were one person, not two. I feel his strength in the easy way he holds me, lose myself in his familiar scent, taste him on my tongue. He deepens our kiss, and I feel like this is how we should have always been. Together. Safe. Hidden from the world in a veil of tears.
“How badly are you hurt?” I want him inside me. Here. Now. When we are bruised and broken, wet and exposed. I want to bandage all our hurts with love, and make them go away.
“Not enough to stop.” Without breaking our kiss, he slips his hand beneath my skirt. His warm fingers trace lazy circles along my inner thighs to the edge of my panties. He tugs on the elastic and then shoves my panties aside to slick one thick finger through my folds.
“You’re so wet for me, sweetheart.”
“I missed you.”
“I’ll make it up to you. In every way I can.” He pushes his finger deep inside me, and I gasp, relishing the pleasure of a deeper connection while at the same time feeling greedy for more.
“Zack. We’re outside. You’re still a celebrity and if someone sees us together…” I lever myself up and push down on his thick finger, seeking more friction than he’s willing to give.
“I don’t give a damn. I want everyone to know you’re my girl and I’m showing her how I feel in the best way I can.” He adds a second finger and gently rubs his thumb around my clit, using my wetness for more lubrication before circling the aching bundle of nerves again. I am shaking, gripping his shoulders so hard, I’m sure my fingers will leave marks, but still he teases, alternating thrusts with slow, steady circles of my clit. Each stroke takes me closer and closer to the edge.
I have never been as turned on as I am now. Never felt so free that I don’t give a damn if a horde of Zack’s fans find us and take pictures to send to the press. Never felt so connected to anyone in my life.
“So fucking beautiful,” he murmurs as he adds a third finger.
“Ahh.” I bite off my cry when I feel the wet slide of his thumb over my clit, the firm pulse of his fingers deep inside me.
My orgasm starts as a low rolling heat in my belly that crashes over me and floods my veins with molten pleasure. I clamp my thighs around his hand and buck against him. But he holds me tight and keeps me safe, his mouth finding mine to swallow my scream.
I collapse against his broad chest, bracing myself on his shoulders as he undoes his fly, freeing his cock from its restraint.
“Are you ready for me?” His hands slide under my ass, and he lifts me, bracing me against the cold, brick wall. I wrap my legs around him and grind against his shaft.
“Always ready. More than ready. Even when you’re away ready.” I mean to tease, but Zack shakes his head.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he says. “You are my life, Shay. I’m leaving tomorrow on a job, but I’m coming back when it’s done, and I’ll keep coming back until we’ve fixed everything that is broken between us.”
Slowly, he pushes inside me, stretching me, filling me, driving in so deep, I can feel him everywhere. He gives me a moment to adjust, and then he starts to move.
Oh God. I wrap my arms around his neck and brace myself as I catch his rhythm, driving myself down to meet every thrust. Zack groans and slams into me harder, and I feel another climax begin to build.
“Promise you’ll wait for me.” He pants his breaths as he moves. “Promise you’ll give us a chance.”
“I promise.”
Overwhelmed, my body tight and aching, I climax again, this time in a rush of white-hot heat. My inner muscles clamp around his cock as he hammers into me. He comes with a guttural groan, one arm wrapped around my body, holding me tight, his cock pulsing deep inside me.
I take Zack back to my apartment when we’re done.
He holds me all night long.
When the sun rises, he slips out of bed to get ready to catch his flight, but I am so attuned to him, I am fully awake by the time he comes in to say goodbye.
“Don’t get into any fights.” I lean up and press a soft kiss to his bandaged nose.
Zack laughs. “I’m a fighter.”
“I thought you were a recruiter.”
“And I thought I’d lost you forever.”
I lift my head and kiss him. He groans softly and pulls me closer, his tongue diving deep to possess every inch of my mouth.
“Come back to me,” I say when he finally pulls away.
I am unsettled by his dark, thoughtful expression. But then he smiles, and his face lightens again. “Always.”