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Sam didn’t want to look at her. But he couldn’t avoid Madeline so he just went with it, walking toward her to offer his help. But all night long, he’d tossed and turned and wondered why of all the women in the world, he’d had to get all up-close and cozy with someone who’d suffered in almost the same way as his mother. And him.
Brodie always said the big guy in the sky had a sense of irony. This situation kind of indicated that.
Before he could speak, Madeline stopped what she was doing and marched toward him. She looked drained, her hair caught up in a big clip, her eyes flashing. “If you hate alcoholism, why do you own a bar?”
Okay, he owed that explanation at least. “I own a restaurant/bait shop/boat rental/charter service/bar,” he said. “The bar part came with the building. I decided a long time ago I can’t control everyone’s actions, but I can control what they do when they are in my place. Most of my regulars respect my rules. I never let anyone drive drunk. Or walk home drunk, for that matter.”
“And you don’t drink much either, do you?” she asked, her tone low and questioning.
“Nope. A beer here or there.” He stopped, pulled a hand down his face. “Once, long ago, I did drink a lot. Too much. But as Jimmy Buffett would say, I had a lot to drink about.”
“What made you stop?”
“I wanted a decent life,” he said. “I wanted to be in control of myself and my actions. I joined the military to learn how to handle that but ... the work I did left me even more battered. I wanted peace and quiet and some kind of normal existence. That’s why I wound up buying the Surf Shack.” He shrugged, slid his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “It’s a good life.”
“Or was until you came here and met me.”
“Yep. It’s the kind of life I need and want, the life I’ve made for myself.” He moved closer while all around them, people pretended to go about getting this reception area together. But Sam knew everyone in her family was curious. “Our similar issues aren’t your fault, Maddie. I thought about this all night long and ... I can see that you did the best you could.”
“I covered for him,” she said, her voice catching. “Over and over. Was that doing my best, Sam?”
“Pride goeth before a fall.” He shifted his feet. “My grandmother used to tell me that all the time. She always believed pride kept my mother from leaving my daddy.”
“Pride sure held me back from doing what I had to do,” she admitted.
“Well, my mom paid a high price for living with my dad all those years.”
Maddie’s expression softened with sympathy. “And then he left all of you. I’m really sorry, Sam.”
Sam furrowed his brow and shook his head. He didn’t want her pity. “Look, I’m okay now. Yeah, I’m bitter and aggravated and sometimes I let it all get the best of me, but ... I’m okay. I have a good life now. I’m going back to that life.”
“Without me.”
It was a statement, but it hung there in the chilly air like a fog drifting over the swamp. “Not without you, Maddie. I never had any rights to you. We’ve had some fun together and you’ve helped me with a lot of ... issues. But we both know it wouldn’t have worked. It wasn’t supposed to work.” He lifted a couple of chairs and placed them by a table just to distract everyone trying to hear their conversation. “We got carried away with all this wedding togetherness.”
She nodded, guilt and shame coloring her pretty eyes. “I guess you’re right. I felt obligated to help Evan because of my insecurities and I almost ruined Michelle’s wedding. I shouldn’t have taken his call last night.”
“Some habits die hard, even when we think we’ve cured them,” Sam said. “But this proves he’s not just an alcoholic. He’s also the worst kind of idiot and loser. He had a good thing with you because you’re the kind of person who protects those she loves. He used that against you. He used you to hide his own sorry excuses and inadequacies.”
“Yes, you’re right,” she said, her eyes scanning the river. “I let him use me and I let him convince me that I was the problem. No wonder I don’t date. It’s too painful to accept that I’m so messed up nobody would ever want me again.”
“That’s not true,” Sam said, every inch of him needing her. Only her. “Look, let’s get this done. For Brodie and Michelle. But you owe me a dance, remember.”
She grabbed another chair. “No, you owe me a dance. You don’t have to pay up, though.”
Sam took the white chair from her, his fingers brushing her in a tinge of fire. “Oh, I’ll pay up all right. I want that dance to remember you by.”
Her gaze held his, their faces inches apart. “I guess my invitation to come to Florida is off now.”
“That’s entirely up to you,” he said. “Your sister will expect you to come and visit.”
“But you don’t expect anything from me, do you, Sam?”
“I can’t afford that luxury,” he said. Then he took the chair and added it to the others. “I’ll go help your daddy with the rest of the serving tables.”
He turned before he did something stupid and kissed her right there with her family all around. But it didn’t matter. Everyone here could see that something was brewing between Maddie and him.
But that something had to end with the “I do’s” tonight at this wedding. And then Sam could get back to the life he’d so carefully carved out for himself.
The life where he stood behind the old, weathered counter that separated him from the world and his emotions and watched all the confused, hurting people who pulled up a stool and stared into their drinks.
Two hours later, Madeline stood with her sisters in front of the big, open tent they’d set up in her parents’ backyard.
“We did it,” Michelle said, her blonde hair trailing around her face. She’d showed up midway through and demanded to be part of the decorating committee.
Melissa squeezed Madeline’s hand and smiled at Michelle. “Yes, we did. In spite of the odds, you and Brodie are getting married today. I’m so happy for you.”
“Me, too,” Madeline added, fatigue weighing heavily in her words. “And I’m also starving.”
“Yes, I’m hungry too,” Melissa said. “Let’s raid the refrigerator before we get all gussied up.”
“I have to fit in my dress,” Michelle said. “But I could use a big piece of King Cake and a huge cup of coffee.”
“And bacon,” Madeline replied, her stomach churning from hunger and nervousness. She hadn’t eaten all day and now it was almost time to get ready for the wedding. “I guess I need to nibble on something.”
“Besides Sam’s ear?” Melissa asked with a coy wink.
“No nibbling going on there,” Madeline said. “We are parting ways.”
Michelle whirled to study her as if she were a mysterious bug. “What happened?”
“Evan happened,” Madeline said. She really didn’t want to talk about it.
“Yes, tell us why Evan decided to take his toys and leave,” Melissa said. “Not that he was ever supposed to be here.”
Madeline reluctantly explained about Evan calling her last night. “He was drunk at the Worm Bucket.”
“That’s near the Swamp House Cabins,” Melissa pointed out.
Michelle’s eyes widened. “You went there to get him? You know Sam’s renting a cabin there, right?
Madeline bobbed her head. “Right, but he’d left and I didn’t think he’d still be up. But when he showed up right there, things got ugly.”
She finished the tale while they walked up to the house. Soon they were eating eggs and bacon and King Cake while their parents sat and drank coffee with Uncle Jaybo.
When everyone grew quiet, Madeline stood by the big kitchen island and looked around at all of them. “Evan has a serious drinking problem and I tried to hide it from everyone. Even now, I’m still trying to hide it.”
“I knew,” Uncle Jaybo said with a frown. “I’d see him at certain events in Shreveport. He didn’t think I knew, but well ... it wasn’t hard to figure things out.”
“You probably saw him with other women, too,” Madeline said, dignity overtaking the shame she’d always felt. “I didn’t want to believe any of it, but ... I caught him in lies and then I caught him with a woman. At our house. He was with another woman the night before our wedding, too.” Heaving a sigh, she said, “That’s the real reason our marriage ended. It was doomed from the start and I just let it happen.”
Ruby’s expression filled with compassion. “Honey, you told us he didn’t love you anymore. That he wanted to move away and you didn’t.”
“That’s still true, Mom,” Madeline said. “He didn’t love me anymore and I don’t love him anymore.”
“I should have shot him long ago,” her dad said on a snarl.
“He’s not worth a prison sentence, honey,” her mom replied. Her understanding gaze held Madeline. “We weren’t exactly honest with you, either. We suspected, heard rumors and I wanted to ask, but I tried to stay out of your business.”
“I would have lied and covered for him if you’d pushed things,” Madeline said. “I know it’s hard to understand when now it seems so obvious, but I truly thought it was my job to keep things under control. I lost control—of myself. I lost me.”
Her dad shook his head. “We all allowed this to happen, Maddie. Your mom and I wondered and worried and ... this is a small town. Small towns always hold big secrets.”
She lowered her head, too much coffee now burning her stomach. “So y’all are telling me that in spite of all my efforts, everyone kind of knew anyway?”
“It’s hard to hide things like that,” Melissa said. “I tried to bring it up to you lots of times, but you always turned the tables on me and pointed out my shortcomings.”
Madeline lifted her head to see the truth in Melissa’s eyes. “I did do that. And the sad thing is I didn’t even realize I was doing it.” She touched Melissa’s hand. “I’m so sorry.”
Melissa shrugged and tossed her hair. “Hey, you were right, even if it made me mad. I had ... I have ... issues that I’m working through.”
“And me, too,” Madeline said. “I still have issues. I’m a work in progress.”
“Aren’t we all, darlin’?” Uncle Jaybo asked with a chuckle. “One day I’ll be a masterpiece.”
Ruby started clearing dishes. “But Maddie, you should have come to us and told us. We would have understood.”
Roscoe nodded. “I’ve tried to get y’all back together, knowing he was probably nothing but trouble. I guess I have my pride, too.”
“I’m so glad we had this talk,” Michelle said on a light note. “But ... one of us is getting married today.”
They all laughed at that. Laughed, cried, hugged and disbursed to get ready for the big event.
Madeline’s heart jabbed at her insides each time she thought of seeing Sam again later today. Because in a few hours, he’d be gone from her life and she’d have to work hard on forgetting all about him and his kisses.