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Chapter Nineteen

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“Okay, smile.”

Madeline shifted her feet, her black dress boots becoming too tight, her nerves rocketing to firework proportions. How many pictures did they need?

Telling herself to behave, she absorbed the heat of Sam standing so close to her. Sam putting his hand on her elbow each time the photographer pushed them together for a close-in shot. Sam smelling like a fresh winter day each time he accidentally moved against her when the photographer insisted they re-adjust positions.

She dreaded seeing these pictures. She was sure she’d have a doe-caught-in-headlights kind of expression on her face instead of a joyous smile. She’d gone and done the stupidest thing she could possibly do. She was falling for Sam.

Had fallen already.

But she had to get that notion out of her mind.

And then he whispered against her hair. “You smell good.”

She was going to melt. “Thanks.”

“Can’t wait for our dance.”

“Right.”

“I like your boots.”

“My feet are killing me.”

“I really want to take off this tie.”

Madeline swallowed, prayed. She got an image of him running on the beach with no shirt on.

Stop it!

She’d almost said that out loud. And maybe she should. If he wanted to leave so badly, why was he flirting with her? He’d been in panic mode twenty minutes ago and now he was in whispering-sweet-nothings mode.

The man was so confusing. Or maybe the man was just confused. No wonder after the life he’d had.

When they’d finally finished with the wedding pictures, they all put on coats and wraps and walked the short distance to her parents’ house where their guests were waiting.

Sam walked with Madeline.

Taking her arm, he pulled her underneath a towering live oak when they were halfway there. “Hi,” he said. “We should talk.”

Madeline watched the rest of the wedding party moving up the street without them. The beautiful winter day was bright with sunshine and blue skies. A perfect day for a wedding, even if the wind did hold a February chill. Everyone else laughed and chatted in a happy cadence that floated out over the streets and woods.

“I thought we were done talking.”

“I did, too. And then I watched you ... walking toward the altar.”

Her heart skipped. “Hard to miss.”

“No, hard to ignore. And believe me, I tried.”

Her heart sputtered and bumped. “What are you doing, Sam?”

“Talking to you.”

“But last night you didn’t want anything more to do with me.”

“I was in shock. Learning that we’d both been through pretty much the same kind of thing really threw me.”

“You mean the kind of thing where we feel as if we’ve been sucked up into so much drama, we can’t breathe and yet, we can’t escape?”

He brushed a hand over his hair. “Yes, that. It messed with my head and brought back some very ugly memories. But none of that is your fault.”

“I get it,” she said. “Ugly memories that made you see why you can’t be emotionally available for any woman, right?”

“I’m available. I’m right here.”

She pointed to his head. “But you said I messed with your head.” She dropped her hand to his chest. “I think I messed with your heart and you’ve got that buried so deep, I’m not sure it can be brought back to life.”

He took her hand in his, his eyes searching hers. “I have a heart.”

“But you’re afraid to open up to me. You’re afraid to share your heart.”

“I ....”

“Hey, you two, come on,” Melissa called. “The best man has to give his toast.”

Sam’s eyes went wide. Rubbing his forehead with his hand, he said, “I forgot all about that.”

“We’re coming,” Madeline called to Melissa. Then she looked up at him. “We only have a few more hours together and then this whole fiasco with us will be over.”

She started walking, her black wrap pulled tightly against her bare shoulders.

“It wasn’t all a fiasco, Maddie,” he said. “Just remember that. I’m sorry.”

By the time they’d reached her parents’ house, Madeline was more confused than ever. She didn’t have the energy to deal with the emotions churning through her heart. She was afraid to give in to that kind of need again.

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Sam tried to eat. It wasn’t like him to not have an appetite. The prime rib was delicious and the twice-baked potatoes were creamy and full of cheese and chives. The rolls were buttery and flaky. And the shrimp with spicy cocktail sauce were almost better than the ones he could find on the Gulf.

But he had to make that infernal speech. A toast to the happy couple. Who was he kidding? He wasn’t the toasting kind.

But it had to be done.

Maddie nodded to him from across the table.

Sam took a deep breath and stood. Mr. Sonnier tapped a knife to a glass.

Then the whole place became hushed and still.

He took in the white tablecloths and the roses and lilies, the seashells and sand dollars and starfish scattered throughout the centerpieces. The candles burning and the wind blowing, the laughter and whispers, the happy sighs.

Then he glanced at Maddie. She lifted her chin a notch, her eyes telling him he could do this.

So he went with it.

“I’m Sam. Brodie’s friend. I didn’t want to be here.” He picked up a napkin and wiped at his brow. “I’m not good at this kind of stuff. So I’ll get to the point. Standing here tonight with all of you, I have to admit I’m envious. This is a special place, with special people.” His gaze flickered back toward Maddie and then settled on Michelle and Brodie. “Brodie and Michelle are two of those people.”

He swallowed, cleared his throat, took a drink of water. “I know what you both went through to find each other. You met on a beach and ... you bonded immediately, through your pain, maybe because of your pain. You found each other so maybe it made all that pain worth it. I’m learning to appreciate that more and more each day.”

He looked at Maddie again. She was listening, her soft smile encouraging, her eyes misty. “I just want to say I wish you well. Have a long and happy life. You both deserve it.”

He finished and let out a breath and then held up his glass. “To Brodie and Michelle.”

Everyone chimed in. “To Brodie and Michelle.”

Sam downed his mineral water and wiped at his brow.

He’d done his duty. He was free to go.

He glanced over at Maddie and nodded and then he searched for the door, ready to make his exit. She smiled, wiped at her eyes, her expression soft with hope and full of something he couldn’t recognize. He had to get out of here.

But the music started and it was time for the bride and groom to have their first dance.

If he left now, he’d miss that one dance with Madeline. If he stayed, he’d never want that dance to end.

He watched Michelle and Brodie dancing, holding each other so close they had to be taking the same breath. After their song ended, everyone else got up to join in the fun.

Sam warred with all the emotions swirling and tugging at him like a riptide. He smiled and talked to people and got up and walked around.

He had to leave eventually, but he couldn’t seem to find the door. Then he saw Maddie across the room, saw the disappointment on her face. And the despair she must be feeling as she went through her own ugly memories. It was now or never.

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Melissa elbowed Madeline. “He’s coming over here.”

“Will you back off,” Madeline said on a hiss of a whisper. “Sam and I aren’t doing anything. We never were. It was all a big mistake and now that’s he’s given the toast, he’ll be leaving.”

“It was a beautiful toast,” Melissa said. “I almost cried.”

Madeline blinked. She refused to cry. Sam wanted out of here and she was going to let him go. What else could she do?

He came over and took her hand without a word and pulled her close, his nose touching her hair, his breath warm on her skin, his scent washing over her like a soft ocean breeze.

Madeline closed her eyes and felt her pulse leaping with a bittersweet joy. If she could rewind to when he’d found her standing by the river, she would have ignored him and kept walking.

But then, if she’d done that she would never have experienced this feeling, this coming alive again, opening like a flower with the first touch of spring, feeling like a Valentine card full of mushy, hopeful, endearing phrases.

Sam held her there, his arms tight around her, protecting her, making her feel things she’d never felt before.

“I have to leave,” he said, his whisper full of regret.

“I know.”

“We should talk.”

She looked up at him and shook her head. “There’s nothing to talk about Sam. I understand. You want to be behind your bar, watching the world. And I have to be here, avoiding the world.”

“It’s about more than that, Maddie.”

“I know. It’s always about more than that.”

The song ended and he lifted away.

“Hey, they’re about to leave for their honeymoon,” Uncle Jaybo called out. “Everyone up front.”

“I have to go. I’m helping with the honeymoon transportation,” Madeline said.

Sam frowned and shook his head. “Brodie’s car? We already decorated it.”

“No.” She needed an excuse and this was a real one. “The transportation that will take them to Brodie’s car.”

He followed her up to the front yard where two horses stood waiting. “Of course,” he said. “Coco and Blackbeard. Perfect.”

Madeline wiped at her eyes after she’d made sure the horses were willing and ready. Then she watched Brodie help his bride up onto Coco before he climbed up on big, ornery Blackbeard, his laughter and surprise a sure sign of his love for his wife.

“We might have to meander around the river for a while,” Brodie quipped with a wink. “Don’t come looking for us.”

“They’re so happy,” Madeline said, turning to where Sam had been standing behind her.

But Sam wasn’t there anymore.