‘Tom and I will take you to follow on after the ambulance,’ Jill said when Kate came downstairs. The district nurse was behind her carrying down the little bundle, and Jill strained to see the baby she was hoping would become her son. She and Tom would look for the right moment to broach the matter to Kate of Delia’s wish for the baby, their passionate wish too.
Kate nodded, too bereft to talk.
Jonny was longing to kiss the tears from her face, to give her his solace, his strength.
Kate went to the kitchen window. She saw what she was hoping for from the result of her telephone call, what she really needed. ‘There’s no need, Jill. Alan’s here. He’ll take me.’ She was out of the door before anyone could react.
Jill glanced anxiously at Tom, hoping they weren’t about to be cut out of the baby’s life. Kate was his next of kin and had the right to say what happened to him. What if she wanted to settle down with Alan and bring him up herself? They could hardly go to her and tell her about Delia’s wish. And Delia would have likely offered her child to Kate if she had thought she was about to get married.
Jonny’s heart and hopes plummeted as violently as his plane had plunged into the sea. He was a casualty again. This time the pain was almost too much to bear. Still, he rushed outside after Kate. Only to freeze in horror, watching as if in some terrible dream while Kate flung herself into Alan’s arms and sobbed against him. He saw the desire of his life being taken into the other man’s loving embrace, a man who whispered soothing words to her, caressed her, cared for her in the way that he was denied. Then Kate looked up at Alan and in her eyes was the look of a woman in love. A love not given in the first flush of womanhood, but the strong and enduring sort of love that lasts for ever.
All this time Kate had seen him as no more than a friend, not even so close a friend as to mention she was in love with someone. It was as plain and as devastating as that to Jonny. He had to get away. He couldn’t bear for Kate to see his desolation.
Someone touched him. ‘Come with me, Jonny.’ It was Emilia.
‘I’ve got no other option, have I, Aunt Em?’
‘I’m afraid not.’ She led him away to a quiet spot.
‘You can’t help me,’ he said, wiping the tears from his eyes. ‘No one can mend a heart broken in this many pieces. I was wrong, terribly wrong. I thought I could make Kate fall in love with me. You were right. There’s too much of a gap between us to ever have been bridged. I’ll go back to Louisa’s house. I need to be alone.’
‘I’m sure you’ll find love again one day, Jonny. There’s bound to be someone out there for you. You know what it is like to be in love now.’
He shook his head, the searing pain of what could never be nearly blinding him. The intolerable loneliness was already settling in. ‘I can’t imagine loving anyone but Kate.’
‘I know it’s wretched for you right now but you’ll never regret loving her, Jonny.’
‘No, I won’t. Never that. I can’t stay round here. I’ll say goodbye at Tremore tomorrow. Tell Kate I’ve gone away on an assignment. Bye, Aunt Em.’ He dragged his feet out into the lane, leaving Kate behind for ever. He’d lost everything but somehow he’d survive. He was that sort of man. The world and its sights and even perhaps some of its pleasures beckoned him, but without Kate it wouldn’t be the same.
Tom helped Jill restore to its former state the room Delia had died in. ‘There’s a feeling of peace in here, don’t you think?’ he said, weighed down with sadness. What terrible suffering Delia had endured. ‘I mean, Delia doesn’t seem to be lingering. I think she’s at peace.’
Jill had been using her underlying senses too, wondering if there was anything of Delia’s pain and woe still in the room. ‘I think you’re right. Do you think it was a happy release? Poor Delia went through so much. I feel guilty now about longing to have her baby.’
‘Try not to fret about it, darling. I don’t think Delia would have wanted that.’ Huddled together, they stared at the empty bed. ‘At least she knew some consolation at the end of her life. She might never have come to terms with all the torment she went through, she might have spent the rest of her life in misery.’
‘Yes, that would have been very likely, but how terrible when death is the only way out. Kate seems to be coping quite well. She’s got Alan. Nothing could be better for her. We can only pray the baby will be strong enough to pull through. I can’t help wondering what she’ll decide about him.’
‘Me too. She may not decide anything for days.’ Tom sighed heavily. ‘The waiting is awful.’
‘We’ll just have to be patient.’
‘Yes. I can’t help…’
‘What?’
‘Thinking about names for him. Can you?’
‘I wanted Thomas if we’d had a boy. That’s what I’d like this time, all being well.’
‘I’d like Alec, after my father. The next Alec Harvey at Ford Farm. Alec Thomas, if that’s all right with you, darling. If we get the chance…’
‘If we do. I wonder what’s going through Kate’s mind. Yes, darling, the waiting is awful.’
‘Can we stop for a while, Kate?’ Alan said on the way back from the infirmary. ‘We need to talk.’
‘That’s what I want too,’ Kate said, smiling at his outline in the dark confines of the car.
He pulled off the road in a field gateway. They snuggled together, holding hands. He said, ‘Four deaths in such a short time, my poor love. I’ll help you get through it all. And I’ll help with the arrangements for Delia. Have you any ideas what you’d like to do for her?’
‘Her family won’t want to get involved. I’ll have her buried in the churchyard, that way she’ll always be near her little boy. I think she’d want that.’
‘The doctors are sure the baby will pull through, thank God. When he’s released, will you take him to the farm? Will he be welcome there?’
‘More than welcome.’ Kate smiled to herself. While she had waited for the baby to be examined by a paediatrician she had seriously considered what was best for his future.
‘I’m glad you’re confident of that. Darling, if you want, we could get married, provide a home for him.’
She interlocked her fingers through his and kissed his chin. How like Alan to make such an unselfish gesture. ‘It’s wonderful of you to offer, darling, but I’ve a better idea.’
‘Better?’ he said doubtfully, kissing her hair. ‘What’s that?’
‘After Delia fell, when she was lying on the stairs, she tried to tell me something. I’m certain I know what it was. She knew she would die and she wanted Jill to take her baby. It was Delia’s last wish.’
‘Maybe so, Kate, but what if Jill doesn’t want the baby? Or Tom?’
‘They do, I know they do. I saw it all over their faces. I’ve a feeling that after the number of times Delia said she didn’t want the baby – couldn’t cope with it was what she meant – she had actually mentioned it to them. And even if she hadn’t, I know them so well it would be on their minds anyway. It’s the perfect thing. The baby will have two loving parents, a whole new family, and me as his doting aunty.’
‘And an uncle too. If that’s what you want, Kate. Will you marry me, get engaged?’ Alan held her tight. ‘I love you so much.’
‘I love you more than anything, Alan,’ she returned the tenderness. ‘Yes, I’d love to marry you one day. Getting engaged will be fine for now.’
They joined in a passionate kiss to seal the promise, more needful and with more offering than before. Putting her grief for Delia aside, she had never thought she could be this happy. Everything had changed so much for her in the last few months. She had changed so much too. She had gained freedom from soul-destroying servitude and now lived a life worth living. She had thought to stay unattached for a very long time but already she had joined herself to the man who would be the greater part of her life from now on. There was no need to seek ‘herself’. She had found all that in Alan. She had found love, the meaning for her being alive. She couldn’t imagine not being with him. He made her complete. There was nothing as good and fine and fulfilling as to be his and to be this happy. She wanted the couple who were almost as close to her to know this wonderful wholeness too, to have what they wanted more than anything.
‘Shall we go on and tell Jill and Tom their good news?’ She smiled up at Alan. ‘They must be desperate for us to get back.’
‘Yes, let’s do that and put them out of their misery.’
‘And at the same time tell them our wonderful news.’
As they expected, Jill and Tom were peeping out of the window watching for their return and came rushing outside to meet them.