This resource guide is representative, not comprehensive. It does not, and cannot, list absolutely every possible resource that might be of use to fat people and their sexual partners. Listings were chosen based on reputation within the fat-acceptance and sex-positive communities and the responses to the Big Big Love Survey. If we have omitted something of which you are personally fond, as is inevitable in a world with so many options, please accept our apologies.
Listings in this Resource Guide were current and accurate as of the time of publication, but resources can come and go without warning. Caveat lector.
Good Vibrations (www.goodvibes.com). The mothership of feminist sex toy boutiques is also a sex-education clearinghouse, with two PhD sexologists on staff to answer your questions.
Planned Parenthood (www.plannedparenthood.org). Reliable reproductive and sexual health information for all, and local sexual/reproductive health clinics throughout the United States.
San Francisco Sex Information (http://sfsi.org). Volunteer-driven, extremely high-quality free, confidential, accurate, nonjudgmental information about sex and reproductive health online or by phone.
Scarleteen (www.scarleteen.com). Independent and opinionated sex ed website and forums for teens and young adults, but with great info and education for adults of all ages, too.
Boston Women’s Health Book Collective. The New Our Bodies, Our Selves: A Book by and for Women (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1996).
Cavanah, Claire, and Rachel Venning. Sex Toys 101: A Playfully Uninhibited Guide (New York: Simon and Schuster, 2003).
Corinna, Heather. S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-to-Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and College (New York: Marlowe, 2007).
Newman, Felice. The Whole Lesbian Sex Book: A Passionate Guide for All of Us (San Francisco: Cleis Press, 2004).
Seman, Ann, and Cathy Winks. The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex: The Most Complete Sex Manual Ever Written (San Francisco: Cleis Press, 2002).
Silverstein, Charles, and Felice Picano. The Joy of Gay Sex 3rd ed. (New York: Harper Resource, 2003).
Blue, Violet. The Smart Girl’s Guide to Porn (San Francisco: Cleis Press, 2006).
Dodson, Betty. Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving (New York: Crown Trade Paperbacks, 1996).
Easton, Dossie and Janet W. Hardy. The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Adventures 2nd ed. (Berkeley, CA: Celestial Arts, 2009).
Haines, Staci, and Felice Newman. Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Healing Sexual Trauma (San Francisco: Cleis Press, 2007).
Kaufman, Miriam, Cory Silverberg, and Fran Odette. The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability: For All of Us Who Live With Disabilities, Chronic Pain, and Illness (San Francisco: Cleis Press, 2003).
Morin, Jack. Anal Pleasure and Health: A Guide for Men, Women, and Couples (San Francisco: Down There Press, 2010).
Wiseman, Jay. SM 101: A Realistic Introduction (San Francisco: Greenery Press, 1996).
Association for Size Diversity and Health (www.sizediversityandhealth.org). Headquartered at Bowling Green State University, ASDAH is an international professional organization composed of individual members who are committed to the Health At Every Size (HAES) principles.
Big Fat Blog (www.bigfatblog.com). A community blog founded in 2000 with a strongly activist size-acceptance focus. Includes news coverage and analysis as well as resources and other discussion.
Council on Size and Weight Discrimination (www.cswd.org). A not-for-profit group that works to change people’s attitudes about weight. CSWD acts as a consumer advocate for larger people, especially in the areas of medical treatment, job discrimination, and media images. Mailing Address: CSWD, PO Box 305, Mt. Marion, NY 12456.
International No Diet Day (www.eskimo.com/~largesse/INDD/). Established in 1992, INDD is an annual celebration of body acceptance and diversity. It is celebrated on May 6 each year.
International Size Acceptance Association (www.size-acceptance.org). The ISAA is a voluntary organization with American and international chapters, pursuing issues of size-related advocacy and activism. They have moved their magazine, Without Measure, to blog format at http://womeasure.wordpress.com.
Kelly Bliss’ Plus Size Yellow Pages (www.plussizeyellowpages.com). Thousands of size-acceptance resources in a number of categories (organizations, clothing, health/fitness, travel, and so on).
MaryMac’s Fat Acceptance Stuff (www.casagordita.com/fatacc.htm). A lovingly curated collection of size-acceptance and fat-friendly resources and links.
National Association for the Advancement of Fat Acceptance (www.naafa.org). Founded in 1969, the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance (NAAFA) is a nonprofit, all-volunteer, civil rights organization dedicated to protecting the rights of and improving the quality of life for fat people. NAAFA works to eliminate discrimination based on body size and to provide fat people with the tools for self-empowerment through advocacy, public education, and support. Mailing address: NAAFA, Inc. PO Box 22510, Oakland, CA 94609.
Obesity Law and Advocacy Center (www.obesitylaw.com). Established by Walter Lindstrom in 1996, the Obesity Law and Advocacy Center is the first and premier advocacy practice devoted to representing the interests of morbidly obese persons in health care and discrimination matters. Mailing address: 1392 East Palomar Street, Suite 403-233, Chula Vista, CA 91913.
Fraser, Laura. Losing It: America’s Obsession with Weight and the Industry That Feeds on It (New York: Dutton, 1997).
Harding, Kate, and Marianne Kirby. Lessons from the Fat-o-sphere: Quit Dieting and Declare a Truce with Your Body (New York: Perigee Books, 2009).
Oliver, J. Eric. Fat Politics: The Real Story Behind America’s Obesity Epidemic (New York: Oxford University Press, 2006).
Schwartz, Hillel. Never Satisfied: A Cultural History of Diets, Fantasies, and Fat (New York: Free Press, 1986).
Solovay, Sandra. Tipping the Scales of Justice: Fighting Weight-Based Discrimination (Amherst, NY: Prometheus Books, 2000).
Solovay, Sandra, and Esther Rothblum, eds. The Fat Studies Reader (New York: NYU Press, 2009).
Wann, Marilyn. Fat!So? Because You Don’t Have to Apologize for Your Size (Berkeley, CA: Ten Speed Press, 1999).
Association for Size Diversity and Health (www.sizediversityandhealth.org). Headquartered at Bowling Green State University, ASDAH is an international professional organization composed of individual members who are committed to the Health At Every Size principles.
Body Love Wellness (www.bodylovewellness.com). Golda Poretsky is a consultant and coach specializing in body issues, health, and size acceptance. Based in New York, she provides phone coaching anywhere.
The Fat Friendly Health Professionals List (www.cat-and-dragon.com/stef/Fat/ffp.html). A regularly updated list of health professionals that have been recommended by fat people as being fat friendly or who have declared themselves fat friendly. The list is arranged alphabetically by country, state, and city.
Plus Size Pregnancy Index (www.plus-size-pregnancy.org). Size-positive, empowering information and resources on plus-sized pregnancies. Exceptionally helpful is its analysis of scientific/medical risk reporting.
Your Plus Size Pregnancy (www.yourplussizepregnancy.com). Information, support, and community for plus-size pregnancies, including an MD-authored e-book on the subject that is officially endorsed by the Department of Gynecology and Obstetrics at the State University of New York at Buffalo School of Medicine and Biomedical Sciences.
Bacon, Linda. Health at Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight (Dallas, TX: BenBella Books, 2008).
Campos, Paul. The Obesity Myth: Why America’s Obsession with Weight Is Hazardous to Your Health (New York: Gotham Books, 2004).
Gaesser, Glenn. Big Fat Lies: The Truth About Your Weight and Your Health (New York: Fawcett Columbine, 1996).
Moser, Charles. Health Care Without Shame: A Handbook for the Sexually Diverse and Their Caregivers (San Francisco: Greenery Press, 1999).
Summer, Nancy. Ample Hygiene for Ample People (Bearsville, NY: Willendorf Press, N.D.) Note: Available only from Ample Stuff (www.amplestuff.com).
Van der Ziel, Cornelia, and Jacqueline Tourville. Big, Beautiful, and Pregnant (New York: Marlowe & Co., 2006).
Amplestuff (www.amplestuff.com). Online retailer of various fat-friendly and fat-focused products, including hygiene tools.
Living XL (www.livingxl.com). Online retailer of fat-friendly products, including a selection of hygiene tools.
Summer, Nancy. Ample Hygiene for Ample People (Bearsville, NY: Willendorf Press, N.D.). Note: Available only from Ample Stuff (www.amplestuff.com).
Big Folks Sports and Activities FAQ (www.faqs.org/faqs/fat-acceptance-faq/sports/). An extensive (if somewhat dated) FAQ file giving concrete information and advice about participation in specific sports and activities by fat people.
Big Moves (www.bigmoves.org). Founded in 2000, Big Moves is the only producing, training, and service organization in the world dedicated to getting more people of all sizes into the dance studio and up on stage. Currently operating in California, Massachusetts, New York, and Quebec.
Kelly Bliss (www.kellybliss.com). Kelly Bliss is a lifestyle coach and personal fitness trainer based in Philadelphia who specializes in plus-size fitness and wellness. Kelly’s website also has an extensive collection of links and resources.
Living XL (www.livingxl.com). Online shop selling a variety of accessories and equipment for active pursuits including fitness and camping gear geared to the larger/heavier body.
Rochelle Rice (www.infitnessinhealth.com). Rochelle Rice is a personal fitness trainer and the creator of pioneering fitness programs for women of size. Based in New York City.
Anderson, Bob. Stretching (Bolinas, CA: Shelter Publications, 2010).
Rice, Rochelle. Real Fitness for Real Women: A Unique Workout Program for the Plus-Size Woman (New York: Warner Books, 2001).
Affiliated Big Men’s Clubs (www.abcclubs.com). The Affiliated Big Men’s Clubs (ABC) is an umbrella organization for a large number of social organizations focusing on big gay men and their admirers. Includes listings of member clubs and of national and international events relative to fat gay men, including Affiliated Big Men’s Clubs’ yearly conference.
BBWBelles (www.bbwbelles.com). A popular online destination for big beautiful women (and big handsome men) and their admirers in the American South. BBWBelles also organizes and promotes parties, dinners, picnics, and get-togethers.
BBWclubs (www.bbwclubs.com). A sex-oriented online portal and personals site, mostly heterosexual.
BBW Datefinder (http://bbwdatefinder.com). BBW/FA online personals and chat.
The BBWNetwork (www.bbwnetwork.com). “Our goal is to help promote Size Acceptance and self-esteem. We do not promote gaining weight, we do not promote yo-yo dieting, we do provide an accepting environment no matter what size you are.” Sponsors online forums, personal ads, and the yearly Vegas Bash gathering for big women and those who admire them.
Bear411 (www.bear411.com). Online personals for gay male bears.
BearNation Online Community (www.bearnation.us). A major clearinghouse for gay male bears and bear culture, including resources, even listings, blogs, galleries, and personal profiles.
Bulk Male (www.bulkmale.com). Online resources, community, and personal ads for gay chubs and chasers.
Chubby Parade (http://chubbyparade.com). A sex-oriented online portal and personals site, mostly heterosexual.
Chunky Dunk PDX (www.chunkydunkpdx.com). Portland-area swimming parties for fat people and allies. A fabulous idea that would be easy to implement on a DIY basis elsewhere (hint, hint!).
Dimensions (www.dimensionsmagazine.com). The first print magazine to focus on fat women and the men who love them with a size-acceptance perspective, it is now a website that has become a major repository for fat-related news, information, links, resources, and community. Includes forum space specifically for female fat admirers (FFAs), BHMs (Big Handsome Men), and LGBTI fat people and their admirers. The overall focus, however, remains substantially on BBW/FA issues and sexuality, including forums and personals. Note: Dimensions is a feederism-accepting space and includes weight-gain and feeding fiction. Extensive discussion of eating and food are also featured in dedicated forum spaces.
Large and Lovely Connections (www.largeandlovely.com). Online personal ads for BBW/FA, and BHM/FFA.
Linda’s Big Connections (www.lindasbigconnections.com). A size acceptance group that promotes friendships, relationships, and networking in the BBW/BHM Community in the Chicago/Milwaukee region. Hosts regular parties, dances, and other events.
The Lone Star Saloon (www.lonestarsaloon.com/woof/home). The San Francisco epicenter of the gay male bear world, and the world’s first bear bar.
National Organization of Lesbians of Size (www.nolose.org). NOLOSE is “a vibrant community of fat dykes/lesbians, bisexual women, transgendered folks, and allies, seeking to end the oppression of fat people.” Hosts an annual conference and sponsors other events in various locations during the year.
Size Acceptance for Empowerment (SAFE) (www.socalsafe.org). Size Acceptance for Empowerment offers a place where men and women of all sizes can enjoy a size-friendly atmosphere. Activism focuses around social events, with an active calendar.
Transgender People of Size (http://tgpos.livejournal.com). A participatory online community for transgender people of size, on the popular LiveJournal journal hosting site.
Adipositivity (http://adipositivity.com). Photographer Substantia Jones’s size-acceptance activism takes the form of a lush, beautifully crafted photo-blog of her artistic nudes and other photos of women of all sizes of large.
April Flores (www.fattyd.com). The undisputed current queen of BBW erotic modeling and pornography, April Flores is also an artist’s muse and a genial blogger.
Bear (www.bear-magazine.com). Founded in 1987, “the original periodical specifically geared toward gay men who are or who admire real masculine men, proudly sporting body and facial hair” is now back in publication.
Bulk Male (www.bulkmale.com). Gay male chub/chaser portal, personals, galleries, and more.
Fat Bottom Boudoir (www.fatbottomboudoir.com). Seattle-based photographer Molly Bennett’s size-positive boudoir photography, including extensive galleries.
Men in Full (http://men-in-full.tumblr.com). Images of fat men, presented by a woman who loves them.
The Museum of Fat Love (http://love.twowholecakes.org). A museum of photos of fat people in love, many with personal narratives. Guaranteed to bring a smile to your face.
Nofauxxx (www.nofauxxx.com). Award-winning pornographer Courtney Trouble’s wonderfully diverse porn site, featuring performers of all genders, sizes, skin colors, and sexual orientations.
The Sex Positive Photo Project (http://thesexpositivephotoproject.blogspot.com). Photographer Shilo McCabe’s adventurous, sex-positive, size-inclusive photoblog.
The Thickness (http://thethickness.tumblr.com). A regularly updated Tumblr feed of erotic/pornographic photos of curvy/thick/fat women.
Toil Girls (www.toilgirls.com). Home of the BBW pinup artist Les Toil, with galleries and information on how you or someone you love can be rendered as a Toil Girl.
Blank, Hanne, ed. Zaftig: Well Rounded Erotica (San Francisco: Cleis Press, 2001).
Edison, Laurie Toby, and Debbie Notkin. Women En Large: Images of Fat Nudes (San Francisco: Books in Focus, 1994).
Nimoy, Leonard. The Full Body Project: Photographs by Leonard Nimoy (New York: Five Ties, 2007).
Olson, Nancy. This Is Who I Am: Our Beauty in All Shapes and Sizes (New York: Artisan, 2008).
St. Paige, Edward. Zaftig: The Case for Curves. (Seattle, WA: Darling & Co., Blue Lantern Studio, 1999).
Suresha, Ron Jackson, ed. Bearotica: Hot, Hairy, Heavy Fiction (Los Angeles: Alyson Books, 2002).
While not all toys and accessories will work for, or even appeal to, all people, the items listed below have earned a reputation among sex-positive fat folks as among the most useful, reliable, and fat friendly.
Crown dildo harness by Stormy Leather (stormyleather.com). Designed for fuller figures, with a wider hip band, intended to be worn higher than other harnesses. Fits up to a 40-inch waist and 60-inch hip.
Divine Diva dildo harness by Sportsheets (www.sportsheets.com). One of the most adjustable dildo harnesses, can fit up to an 82-inch waist.
Eroscillator (http://eroscillator.com). Primarily an external/clitoral vibrator, with multiple attachments and a long handle.
Fleshlight (www.fleshlight.com). Masturbation sleeve for people with penises, with a rigid, lengthy casing, available with many different options.
Flex-o-Pleaser vibrator. Made by California Exotics, an oval-shaped vibrating head on the end of a long, flexible wand, with an additional handle. Excellent for reach.
Hitachi Magic Wand Massager. Extremely popular long-handled powerful plug-in massager that can be used as an external/clitoral vibrator, attachments available for internal use.
Joque dildo harness by SpareParts Hardwear (sparepartshardwear.com). Recommended by many survey respondents. In size B, fits waists from 35 to 65 inches.
Liberator Sex Shapes and Sex Furniture (www.liberator.com). Purpose-built sex supports and furniture with easily cleanable covers. Amply sized and sturdy. Factory store is in Atlanta.
Sex Sling by Sportsheets (www.sportsheets.com). A long, adjustable webbing strap with leg cuffs at either end and a padded collar in the middle, designed to pass behind the neck and shoulders to hold the legs up with less effort.
Wahl Massager. A popular long-handled, powerful plug-in massager that can be used as an excellent external/clitoral vibrator.
These vendors and businesses are among those known to be fat friendly. Other vendors may be fat friendly as well, but these have excellent track records.
Babeland (www.babeland.com). Brick-and-mortar stores in Seattle and New York, woman owned. In business since 1993.
Blowfish (www.blowfish.com). Online-only store, in business since 1994, with extensive and knowledgeable product reviews.
Come as You Are (www.comeasyouare.com). Cooperatively worker-owned Toronto store in business since 1997. Has exceptional sex and disability resources.
Early to Bed (www.early2bed.com). Woman-owned Chicago shop, in business since 2001.
Good for Her (www.goodforher.com). Woman-owned Toronto shop, in business over eleven years. Physical store features women and trans-only shopping hours.
Good Vibrations (www.goodvibes.com). The grandmother of all feminist sex-toy stores, founded in 1977, has physical stores in the San Francisco area and in Brookline, Massachusetts.
Love U (www.loveuparties.com). Woman-run sex toy party company; individual consultants are well trained and products are carefully chosen.
Self Serve (www.selfservetoys.com). A woman-owned shop in Albuquerque with an emphasis on education and empowerment.
Smitten Kitten (www.smittenkitten.com). Minneapolis’ women-owned, ethically sound sex boutique. A second shop is in Denver.
Stockroom (www.stockroom.com). Sex gear of all kinds with a focus on BDSM, with a physical store in Los Angeles and online store, since 1988.
Sugar (www.sugartheshop.com). Since 2007, Baltimore’s woman-owned, socially conscious sex boutique.
Womyn’s Ware (www.womynsware.com). In business since 1995, this woman-owned shop is located online and in Vancouver.
About Curves (www.aboutcurves.com). Online vendor of pretty, feminine women’s lingerie including bridal and peignoir sets, to 7X.
Big Gals Lingerie (www.biggalslingerie.com). Online vendor of off-the-rack (to 6X) and custom (to 12X) women’s lingerie, club wear, swimwear, and more.
Dark Garden (www.darkgarden.com). Superb off-the-rack and custom corsetry for all sexes and genders, based in San Francisco. Pricey but phenomenal.
Frederick’s of Hollywood (www.fredericksofhollywood.com). A wide range of classic women’s lingerie and undergarments to size 3X.
FTM at Underworks (http://ftm.underworks.com). Breast binders and related shape wear for FTMs, butches, and others who want to create or enhance a masculine shape. Most items to a 3X, some to a 6X.
Hips and Curves (www.hipsandcurves.com). Online vendor of off-the-rack (to 6x) women’s lingerie, corsets, and other things.
Mr. S/Madame S. (www.mr-s-leather.com). Comprehensive selection of leather and fetish gear extending well beyond clothes, but the clothes in some cases do go up past the “regular” size range.
Re/Dress NYC (www.redressnyc.com). Revolutionary plus-size vintage and consignment in Brooklyn, NY, served up in a 3,000-square-foot shop with plenty of sass, fun, and glamour. If you’re in New York, go.
Sanctuaire (www.sanctuarie.net). Online vendor of off-the-rack women’s clothing and lingerie, including Halloween costumes, to 9x.
Size Queen Clothing (www.bigboxers.com). Portland-based designer Bertha Pearl’s feisty, fun indie designs including boxers for both men and women, bloomers, club wear, hot pants, and more to 8x.
Stormy Leather (www.stormyleather.com). San Francisco’s legendary leather, fetishwear, and sexual accessories manufacturer. A wide range of sizes in garments and accessories for people of all sexes and genders.
Torrid (www.torrid.com). Nationwide chain of trendy plus-size shops for women, also offering online sales. Good for sexy street wear and club wear at affordable prices, although you should be aware that quality varies.