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Sophie put on a long skirt, a navy sweater that had flowers embroidered on it and tried to do something cute with her hair. After several attempts, she gave up and to be done with it, pulled it back, tying it with a ribbon.
When Wolf arrived, Sophie was just finishing with a small gift she had made for his mother. It was a pen and ink drawing of a quail, framed with some birch branches she had found in the woods. It was important to her that she make a good impression on his mother, and repair any damage her mother might have done.
He knocked on the door.
“You can just walk in,” she called to him as she tied string around the paper.
Wolf came inside. “What if you were...”
“What?”
He couldn’t come up with the words when she was smiling like that.
“What would I be doing?”
“If you were in the middle of changing clothes, you’d be embarrassed.”
“You’d be embarrassed.”
“It wouldn’t be embarrassment,” he admitted.
“That, Mr. Harndon, is good news.”
“Sophie...” Wolf started.
There was such a long pause, she had to say something to help him keep going. “What?”
He shook his head. “Are you ready to go?”
“Yes.” She picked up the gift. “You’re just thinking about me without any clothes on.”
He opened the door.
“Or are you thinking about us without any clothes on,” Sophie asked brushing against him as she left the house.
“Sophie.”
“It’s not a sin.”
He opened the truck door for her.
“Not for me.” She sat down.
He closed the door and went around to the other side.
“Not for me either but...a defining moment.”
“Sacred.”
“Yes.”
“That’s what I like about you.”
“You like me?”
“I don’t go around just kissing everyone,” Sophie teased.
“After the experience you had at the point of Donnie Russell, I don’t want to make your life more painful. I don’t know what to do.”
“I don’t believe that. I think you know exactly what you want to do.”
“Just because I want to doesn’t mean it’s the right thing.”
“I’m okay because of you. Really. You have to find the balance, Wolf. Living for today because there might not be a tomorrow and...”
“Keep going.”
“They’re evil. What Lucianism has preached from the beginning was life without restrictions. No morality, no ethics, no restraints. If we give that away, they win.”
“Yes.”
“True intimacy is life-affirming.”
“They’re all about life-negating. They have been striping anything good and decent and meaningful until we’re left with nothing.”
“You create meaning. It’s a choice. People who live in two worlds can’t be owned.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”
“If this world is all there is, life can be made so unpleasant, people will submit. If someone exists in this world but has a sense of the divine, they can’t be completely controlled. Your father may be in prison but he’s a free man. That’s why he’s in prison. That freedom’s a threat.”
“I would like you to do me a favor.”
“Of course.”
“Come to church with me on Sunday.”
“You know I’m Jewish.”
“Are you saying no?”
“If it doesn’t matter to you and the congregation that I’m not a Christian and don’t hold the exact same beliefs, yes, I’ll go with you.”
“It’s important to me.”
“That’s why I said yes.”
Wolf turned off the road and drove down the long driveway to the white house. There was a large barn off to one side and there were two gas wells in the fields.
“It’s the family farm. There’s no one left but my mother and me.”
“Did they take your grandfather, too?”
“No, both of the Harndon grandparents passed. My mother’s parents live down south where life is a little easier in the winter and a little harder in the summer.”
He parked by the house and they both got out of the truck.
“But doesn’t it make more sense for all of the family to live together? You have enough gas to last for a couple centuries.”
“I think it would be better, and it would make my mother happy but they don’t want to leave.”
“Maybe someday.”
“I don’t know how you can talk about the future,” Wolf said as he walked with her to the house.
“We must have a future. You live today but...”
“I don’t look further than tomorrow.” Wolf opened the front door.
“That’s not true. You’re already talking about Sunday.” Sophie smiled.
“Mom, we’re here.”
“I’m in the kitchen.”
“Come,” Wolf said and led her through the house.
It was a comfortable house with some furniture passed down from generations old enough to be antiques. The many windows let in what light there was but the snow was beginning to fall.
The aroma of roasting turkey filled the air and made Sophie remember how long it had been since having meat at a meal was a common occurrence.
“Mom, this is Sophie Cook. Sophie, this is my mother, Nora.”
“Hi, it’s so nice to meet you,” Sophie said and held out the small package. “Thank you for inviting me to dinner. Is there anything I can do to help?”
Nora took the package. “You didn’t need to give me anything.”
“I did. Proper etiquette dictates hostess gifts on such an occasion,” she replied with a wink to him.
“Let me help you with your coat,” Wolf said.
His mother unwrapped the package. “This is lovely,” Nora said as she studied the drawing. “When Wolf showed me the sketch you did of him I knew you were talented but this is breathtaking. Thank you. I know just the place for it at the top of the stairs so we can see it every night.”
Free of her coat, Sophie glanced around the kitchen. “What can I do?”
“You’re a guest. Sit with Wolf in the living room.”
“We’ll sit later.”
“If you insist, I won’t turn down help.”
The door opened and Reilly entered. “Happy Thanksgiving.”
***
IT WAS DARK BY THE time Wolf brought her home. He took the flashlight out of his truck and they went to her house together. The snow had covered the walkway.
“Don’t slip,” he said. “Do you have boots for the winter?”
“Yes, I’m fine.” Sophie opened the door.
“I wish I could stay but Reilly wants me to go somewhere with him.”
She lit the lantern she had left near the door. “Don’t think twice about me. It’s warm in here and thanks to the power I can listen to a book for a while then go to sleep.”
“You’re sure?”
“Go.”
Wolf leaned over and pressed his lips against hers. For a moment he was tempted to remain but then remembered Reilly was counting on him. It didn’t matter what he wanted personally, the community depended on everyone working together.
He pulled away.
“Thank you for inviting me to dinner.”
Putting his arms around her and holding her tight to him, he kissed her again.
“Each time it gets harder to leave you.”
“What a sweet thing to say.”
“There’s nothing sweet about it,” Wolf replied opening the door.
Sophie laughed. “Go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Bye.”
He walked to his truck. This was getting to be impossible.
***
HER HOUSE WAS DARK when he turned the key in the lock, opened the door and stepped inside. “Sophie!”
The sound of his truck coming up the driveway had awakened her and she was already pulling on sweats. Grabbing the flashlight, she ran down the stairs.
“What’s wrong?” Sophie raced to him.
Wolf put his arms around her and buried his face in her neck. She smelled like hyacinths in the spring; it made him weak with relief.
“Wolf. What happened?”
“I took my father’s pistol out of the glove compartment, put the barrel to his head and pulled the trigger.” The words came out flattened.
“Who?”
“Reilly.”
She took his hand. “You killed Reilly?”
“He was my best friend since kindergarten and I shot him.” Wolf paused, trying to remain in control and fearing it would slip away. “I never killed anyone before. I knew it would happen someday but I didn’t think it would be one of us.”
This was a life full of nightmares become real. Sophie took a deep breath. “Come on, let’s go upstairs, we’ll get into bed and you can tell me about it.”
This was what he wanted her to say, expected her to say. This was why he was in her kitchen instead of home. “I have to take a shower. I’ve got him on me.”
He had wiped his hands off in the snow as best as he could but that wasn’t enough.
“There are towels in the cabinet and I’ll turn on the generator. The water should still be pretty warm.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“Go up the stairs and turn right. When you’re done, give me a shout.”
“Yeah.” Wolf replied as Sophie went to turn on the generator so the water would pump.
A couple minute later, she heard the water stop running.
“Done,” he called.
Sophie turned off the generator, locked the front door and took the flashlight with her up the stairs.
He was standing in the hall with a towel wrapped around him.
“You have nothing to wear.”
“No.”
Sophie pushed her sweats down and stepped out of them. “Every I have is large. It’ll be tight on you but it’s better than nothing.” She held then out to him.
He could feel her warmth on the fabric.
“Put them on, it’s cold out here.” Sophie went into her bedroom and climbed into the bed. “Come on. Help me warm it up.”
Wolf walked as far as the end of the bed and stopped.
“We’ll just talk. We’ll just snuggle.” She patted the quilt Erica had made for her years ago. Made of tiny pieces of fabric, carefully fit together as if comprised of a painting thousands of brushstrokes, it was full of flowers and sun and a stream running along the bottom edge.
She clicked off her flashlight.
Wolf clicked his off and the room was completely dark. He got into bed beside her.
“That’s better.”
“I wanted this moment to be so much better than this. I wanted it to be special.”
“It is. Here we are where we belong.”
“Do you believe that?”
“With all my heart.” Sophie put her head on his chest. “Tell me when you’re ready.”
Wolf stared into the darkness. An owl hooted in the woods beyond the sculpture field then the night was still again.
“We had to go over to the lake. In separate trucks. You don’t need to know why.”
“Okay.”
“And the Russells have been looking for us ever since the incident with Donnie. There was pushing, shoving and some hitting. We thought we ended it but when I looked it the rearview mirror, I saw we were being followed.”
“Oh God.”
“They must not have recognized my truck because they sped past me and got onto Reilly’s bumper. We were driving on the back roads fifty, sixty, seventy miles an hour. I knew where Reilly was going to try to lose them. It’s an old lumbering road. I didn’t see it happen.” Wolf paused.
“What happened.”
“He lost control or one of their trucks hit his. He hit a tree at speed. They took off. I got there and the whole front end was folded in on him. There was nothing I could do.”
“How terrible. You couldn’t go for help?”
“There’s no help. Every hospital around Owl Head closed. Doc Doremus couldn’t do anything. We both knew that. Reilly was pinned in such a way that the truck was holding him together...acting like a metal tourniquet. If he had lived, he would have been paralyzed, lost his legs, lost more than that. So he begged me to end it.”
Sophie stroked his hand.
“Reilly was a friend for my entire life. I hesitated. Trying to think of a way to make this right, to help him. My mind went blank. There was only the one way. So I put the barrel of my gun to his head and just before pulled the trigger, he said thank you.”
“Wolf–”
“A part of me died with him.”
“I’m so sorry. I know you loved him like a brother. I know it’s a loss you will never forget.” Sophie kissed him and twined her fingers through his. “But you’re here for a reason.”
“What if the reason is you?” Wolf asked, pulling Sophie onto his chest.
“Your father trained you to be a warrior, Wolf. You have a fight meant for you.”
“I can’t do this without you. You were meant for me.”
“Show me.”
Wolf did.