Fawn sat on her bed, staring straight ahead. She hadn’t left her room all day, nor did she have the intention to. She didn't do this to be sulky. She didn't even do this because she was angry. She did it because she was scared of wanting to stay alive, or as much as a machine could be alive. That just made the angry monster come back, dark and winding, consuming her heart with bloody, possessive claws. The boring, cream colored walls were a guarantee she was trapped in her own madness, but that was where she belonged.
Just as the ticking on the clock made her want to tear it from the wall so she didn't have to hear the sound anymore, there was a soft knock on her door. She didn't answer. She assumed it was her mom. After a minute, the door clicked open. It was not her mom. It was her dad. He was paler than she could ever remember seeing him and he appeared, if possible, thinner. He wrung his hands as he sat on the bed next to her.
"Fawn, don't do this," her dad said.
Fawn turned toward him. "Stay in my room?"
"You know what I mean. Don't make Jax destroy you. I love you. Delanee loves you." Her dad reached out and grabbed her arm. "Don't you see? You may have come to us because of money, but if you died now, we'd still get to keep it. I want you here because now you truly are my daughter. Delanee has been crying up a storm ever since Jax told her what you decided."
The guilt stung her heart. She reminded herself then that she didn't have a heart. All that made her function was the whirling of machinery. Greasy. Cold. Hard.
"It hurts too much," Fawn whispered. "If you removed the chip from my brain, I'd be nothing but a mindless drone. A vegetable. A nothing."
For a moment, her dad didn't say anything. There were only a handful of moments when her dad reminded her of Jax, but this was one of them. Fiery intensity burned beneath the surface of his eyes, glowing at her. Hot. Intense. Ready to burn her if he didn't have his way. Already she was melting beneath his forceful glare.
"Do you know what happens when one vein breaks inside the human brain?" her dad asked, face unchanging.
"Of course." Fawn was unsure of where he was going. "The person dies. It's called an aneurysm."
"The person dies or goes into a coma. They're a vegetable. An empty life form." Her dad squeezed her arm. "A human blood vessel is a heck of a lot smaller than any microchip and is a lot easier to damage."
Her dad released her arm, stood up, then turned toward the door. Fawn stared after him, trying to put together what he'd just said.
****
The next day, Fawn stared out the window of the living room and gazed down below. On the sidewalk, she saw a familiar man in a dark tuxedo pace in front of the building with a cell phone to his ear. The man sneered as he spoke. Suddenly, his face split into a massive, evil grin. The man stopped and gazed directly at her window. She attempted to conceal herself by ducking behind the wall.
Ark. That was Ark. She knew it because she'd seen him before. Somewhere. Of course he'd followed her. But it wasn't like it mattered now. After she was destroyed, Ark could never get his hands on her again. Then again, if he managed to capture her before Jax disassembled her…The thought threw her into panic. She never thought the idea of not dying would be what frightened her the most.
With a shudder, Fawn spared a glance out the window again and saw Ark turn away from her. A black town car, the type rich people drove, pulled up to the side of the road and idled. Ark didn't glance up at her window again. Instead he walked over to the car and got inside. The car wheeled out of the lot with a screech as Fawn gave a sigh of relief.
****
After her mom and dad came home from the grocery store, Fawn padded into the living room, wringing her hands. This would be the first time she faced them both together after their arrival at the apartment, but she didn't feel comfortable not telling them she'd seen Ark outside of the building. Even though there were only four days left until she was destroyed, she didn't want to see her parents hurt no matter how angry she was at them.
When her mom saw Fawn approach the table, her mouth formed a big grin and her eyes glistened with hope. Her dad's expression was speculative. When she didn't smile back, her mom stopped beaming and then let out a deep, depressed sigh. She was instantly hit with a tsunami of guilt so strong it had the potential to rip her off of her feet and send her flying into the wall with a thud.
"Mom, I saw Ark today," Fawn said. "He was outside the apartment."
Her dad's mouth dropped open and her mom's eyes bulged from her head as her massive chest heaved with concern.
"Did he come up here?" Her mom turned to scowl at her dad. "I knew we shouldn't have left her all alone, Oliver. Not now. Not like this."
Her dad ignored her mom's prodding and gazed at Fawn in worry and confusion. "And he didn't try to get to you? How odd…But we've been expecting…"
"He just looked at my window, then he got in a car and drove away." Fawn shrugged. "I don't know what he was after."
Silence fell. She turned away from her parents to head back to her room. Though she heard her mom call her name with a heartbroken tone, she didn't turn around to look at her. She knew what she would find—her mom's large, sad eyes gazing straight at her, pleading with her not to leave. She couldn't endure seeing that.