One week later, after trudging home from school, I went straight to my room, slammed my door and collapsed on to the bed.
‘Hey!’ Stinky complained. ‘Not so noisy! I was having a nap!’
I glared at him as he shuffled out of his little house.
‘It’s because of one of your naps,’ I said, ‘that I’m in this mood. Do you know how I spent my lunch break today? I’ll tell you how – washing Beardy McCreedy’s car. With a toothbrush.
Wearing a T-shirt with “I’M A CHEAT” in big letters. With basically the whole school laughing at me.’
‘Oh,’ he said. ‘I see.’
‘And,’ I added with a sigh, ‘McCreedy has a really big car, like the ones that movie stars ride around in.’
My dad knocked on my door and poked his head in. I should have been angry with him, but my dad is one of those people it is hard to be mad at. He’d pull a funny face and you’d forget what the problem was.
‘Hello, son,’ he said. ‘Did I hear someone talking?’
‘Only me,’ I said. ‘I was just talking to myself.’
He frowned, but it was much better for my dad to think I was going a bit nuts than for him to find out about my talking hamster.
He came into my room, sat next to me on the bed and looked very sheepish.
‘How was the you-know-what today?’ he asked, making a scrubbing motion with his hand.
‘Not good,’ I said. ‘Pretty bad, in fact.’
‘Was it dirty?’ he asked. ‘The car?’
‘There was a lot of bird poo,’ I told him. ‘I think McCreedy had parked under a tree on purpose.’
My dad grimaced. ‘That would not surprise me one bit,’ he said. ‘There is something quite horrible about that man. I know I shouldn’t say things like that about your teacher, but it’s true. When I bumped into him the other day and I offered to clean his car instead of you, he wasn’t having any of it. He even suggested another bet. But I told him “no” of course.’
My eyes widened.
‘What was the bet?’
‘He said he is so sure you won’t pass the next test, either, that he’ll still dye his beard pink if you pass.’
‘And if I fail?’
‘You have to wash his car again. Only this time I’ll be there too. And I’ll be wearing a dress.’
‘And you said no?’
‘Of course I did. But it’s not because I don’t think you can do it, son. Or because of the dress. No. This time, I’ve definitely learned my lesson. Like your mum quite rightly says – no more betting. I feel terrible about what’s happened.’
I glanced at Stinky, then looked at my dad and took a deep breath.
‘Say yes to the bet, Dad. I’ll pass that exam.’
Stinky immediately started running on his wheel. I could tell he was trying to get my attention, but I ignored him.
My dad was frowning at me. ‘Really?’ he said. ‘You really want me to take the bet?’
I nodded, and he stayed quiet for a while. All this time my hamster was racing around on his wheel.
‘And you’re confident you’ll pass?’ my dad asked.
I nodded again.
‘Because obviously I’d prefer not to be wearing a dress in front of your entire school,’ he added. ‘I don’t really have the figure for it these days.’
‘I can do it, Dad.’
‘OK then, son,’ he said. Then he ruffled my hair and stood up. ‘It’s probably best we don’t tell your mum about this yet,’ he added, and left the room with a grin.
Stinky, though, wasn’t looking nearly so happy.