HOW TO GET YOUR MOJO ON
Up to our knees in swamp water, Freddie and I trudged down a trail with ferns and plants that reached our elbows. About ten minutes later, the path opened up and the bayou in all its glory stretched out before us. Freddie and I stood in amazement. It was beautiful and scary at the same time, the mood of the place super-cool and super-mysterious. Every square inch of the place pulsed with life, alive and growing.
Where there wasn’t water there were trees. Spanish moss dangled off the branches of the live oaks like green tinsel, casting a sickly glow onto the murky water. Thick roots of bald cypress trees stuck out of the ground. Giant, polka-dotted mushrooms the size of my head jutted out from the soil. The strange sounds of cicadas resonated everywhere. Like waves of buzzing vibrations, their loud acoustic talents, I thought, were remarkable. I could have listened to them all night.
In the distance, a small girl paddled up to us on a torch-lit raft. She wore an outfit similar to Adelaide, except both the girl and the outfit were white. She appeared to be about ten years old. I raised both hands over my head and waved them like we were stranded on the side of the highway.
“Maverick and Freddie?” she yelled, not sounding at all like a little girl. We nodded like bobbleheads. “Serafine has been expecting you. I’m here to take you to meet the Queen of our bayou.”
Well, if that wasn’t the luck of the draw, I thought, noticing as she paddled closer what I’d had the impression of being a little girl was, in fact, a midget. I prayed she didn’t have any fish burgers…or knives…or blowtorches hidden under her dress.
“My name is Darlene,” she said upon her approach. “But most people call me Darling.”
Neither Freddie nor I said anything. I was mentally preparing myself for an onslaught, knowing how cunning little people could be. But Darling reminded me of that old-time actress Shirley Temple with her curly ringlets. She didn’t seem like a threat at all. In fact, it wouldn’t have surprised me if she belted out On the Good Ship Lollypop. Instead, she sniggered, “What’s wrong with you boys? Black cat got your tongue? Haven’t you ever seen a vertically challenged person before?”
“Yeah,” I muttered. “But I’ve gotten more than one black eye and bruised shin from the ones—”
“Clearly,” she said, “you’ve been hanging out with the wrong crowd.”
“I didn’t mean to insult you,” I said, my cheeks turning red.
Darling punched my arm, all buddy-like. “No offense taken. You’d have to do a lot worse to offend me. You know, back in the day, I’d met some of those Grumbling’s roustabouts. They give us vertically challenged people very, very bad names. That sword-swallowing kinker treated me ever so rudely when I told him I only date basketball players. See, I like tall men.”
“What’s a kinker?” Freddie whispered.
“A performer in the circus,” I said.
Darling edged the raft closer to us. “It’s best we go before it gets dark. Careful getting on. We don’t want to fall in this time of night. Some hungry gators been lurking about down here and they’re not from Serafine’s camp.”
Using my tail for balance, I helped Freddie and Snaggletooth onto the rocking raft, and then I hopped on. Darling smiled and pushed us off into the middle of the swamp with her oar. Darling pointed. “Look, Maverick, over there, those are some of Serafine’s pride and joy.”
About twenty feet away, a group of about two hundred alligators—eyes and noses protruding—lurked in the Bayou. Goosebumps covered my entire body. Their eyes had that same faint reflective, red radiance I’d seen in my own. In the darkening swamp, it was like a million devilish fireflies floated in the water.
In unison, the gators snapped their mouths opened and closed and splashed their snouts in the water. The raft began to rock precariously. I must confess it flipped me out. Freddie and Snaggletooth edged toward the center of the raft, their bodies shaking.
“My, oh my,” muttered Darling. “The gators never greet anybody but Serafine like that. They usually get pretty aggressive with strangers. They must recognize you as one of their own, Maverick. Serafine was right about you.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“You’re meant for something bigger than you know. She saw it with her third eye.”
Freddie winced. “She has an eye in the middle of her forehead like a Cyclops?”
“No, Freddie, nothing at all like that. Anyway, you’ll soon find out because we’re here and there she is.” Darling pointed to a poor excuse of a wooden dock. Still as a statue, a woman stood on it. She was dressed in white from head to toe. The full Cajun moon seemed to shine directly on this woman, a halo of light engulfing her from above like an angel. She held her head high as we made our approach. I could barely make out her features because her skin was so dark, but I could tell she was beautiful.
I almost tipped the raft over as we disembarked, but Darling had everything under control. We didn’t fall into the reptile-filled water and to say Freddie looked relieved would be the understatement of all understatements.
“It was nice meeting you, Maverick and Freddie. I’m sure our paths will cross again.” Darling giggled and paddled off into the darkness. “Later, gators.”
“Bye?” Freddie and I questioned.
Serafine noticed our apprehension. “I bought lil’ Darling a house of her own,” she said and pointed haphazardly into the now pitch black and mosquito infested bayou. “She was kind enough to meet you boys. We knew you were a coming. I always know.”
Freddie’s mouth twisted with confusion. “How? Is it because you are a Hoodoo Queen? Or a Voodoo priestess?”
Serafine smiled with her eyes. “While I may be a Hoodoo Queen, I’m no Voodoo priestess. You see, Voodoo is a religion, chitlins, and Hoodoo is magic, even though they go hand-in-hand more oftentimes than not. A lot of people get the two confused. Anyway, I worship the Gods of Santeria, so I don’t practice Voodoo at all. Understand?”
Intimidated, I tapped my feet, and because of being almost knee deep in swamp water earlier, the squishy sounds coming from my soaked gym shoes sounded disgusting. Freddie jabbed me in the ribs and then said, “I get it. Santeria is your religion?”
“Yes, Freddie.”
“And you practice Hoodoo?”
“I do. And I’ve been waiting for this moment for a while, meeting the two of you. Why I even called Madame Zoltarano up myself and told her to send you boys my way. Usually it’s above a Hoodoo Queen to contact a third-rate fortune-teller. I hope you appreciate it, because that woman wouldn’t know the future from the past, even if it was written down.” Serafine winked at me and tilted her head toward Snaggletooth. “Come on, boys, follow me. By the by, you just might want to carry that dog of yours. We all know gators love fresh meat, right Maverick?”
Freddie’s confused smile turned into a scowl. I guess he still needed a little time to get over that whole me-eating-a-live-chicken thing.
Resembling a spirit in the night, Serafine’s white robes fluttered in the breeze as she walked down the dock. I picked up Snaggletooth and, like zombies under her spell, we followed her to her house. On either side of the path, weird chirping, hissing, and loud clacking and snapping noises crackled in the air. Freddie grabbed my elbow. Alligators. They were everywhere, heads turning in unison, intently watching us with their glowing red eyes.
In a trance, Freddie and I trudged down the path, following Serafine. I held Snaggletooth close to my chest, focusing on every step I took. Swear to God, the alligators were trying to sniff at my ankles. I held my breath and pushed forward.
Serafine’s home was beyond enormous, larger than any of the mansions we’d seen in New Orleans. A massive veranda wrapped around its entirety and the green, slick moss we’d seen in the bayou on the trees, well, the house was covered in it. One of those old plantations from long ago, it was as if time stood still. The same red brick dust we’d seen at Adelaide’s surrounded the place, on every step, every windowsill.
“I’ve got myself a lot of enemies,” said Serafine.
I struggled to hold Snaggletooth. Just because he was missing a leg didn’t mean he wasn’t heavy. Serafine stood in the moonlight and her hand moved to the material by her neck. Her thin fingers reached into her dress and she pulled out a large golden necklace, the chain long and braided, a fist-sized charm dangling on its end. The charm held my gaze. It glowed, seeming to have a life of its own, the colors changing from a faint green to red to gold. Was it an orb of some kind?
It winked at me.
No, it definitely wasn’t an orb.
I sucked in my breath. “Did that thing hanging around your neck just—”
“Yes,” said Serafine.
I grimaced, wondering if we should make a run for it. But neither Freddie nor I could move. Freddie nudged me in the ribs, his face pale. “Is it…Is it…Human?”
“No, my darling boy, it’s magic.” She tousled the hair on Freddie’s head. “Everybody knows the eyes are the window to the soul. Well, my eye is my lucky amulet, my juju, my crystal ball if you will.”
I took a closer look at Serafine’s “juju,” which was way more intricate than I’d initially thought. The orb was inset into a golden lid with ancient writing on it. The pupil was black, appeared to be made out of onyx, and as the light dimmed, the pupil expanded—just like a real eye. Surrounding the pupil an emerald-like jewel flickered with flecks of gold. Every time the eye blinked, the flecks would change their position and the color of the jewel would change and glow from dark green, to red, to black. It was almost like looking into a starry night, a galaxy. The future.
Wait a second. My eyes were dark greenish brown, sometimes looking black. And at night they glowed red. Just like …
“The power of my juju comes from my protector, the Santerian God Orunmila, who knows the futures for all people,” said Serafine. “Orunmila had a great affinity for crocodiles and this amulet was modeled after—”
“A crocodile eye.”
“Yes, and its magic and its powers give me my vision, my strength.” She paused and snapped back her shoulders. “Maverick, my visions told me you are destined for greatness. But it’s best y’all find out about it on your own, because my visions, if misinterpreted, could backfire. But I can tell you this.” Serafine placed her slender hand underneath Freddie’s chin. Her perfume of ginger and jasmine grew stronger, surrounding us. “You’re going to be blessed with a big family.”
A big family had always been my dream. I held my head down, jealous. I’d probably end up with no place to go and nobody. I wondered: what did the future have in store for me? I didn’t have much time to think about it though. Serafine turned on her heel and headed into the house. She paused in the doorway. “Now, come inside boys. We haven’t got all night.”
It didn’t matter if Freddie or me wanted to ask Serafine more about her visions. We couldn’t. We were too busy choking on our tongues. I slapped Freddie on the back and we followed Serafine into an ornate, dilapidated room.
Serafine clapped her hands and two male midgets appeared, one whiter than a marshmallow and just as squishy, the other blacker than coal. Involuntarily I flinched, expecting one of them to smack me on the back of my head, but they didn’t do a thing but smile.
“Like to introduce you two boys to Mistuh White and Mistuh Black. Been working for me as long as I can remember,” said Serafine.
I extended my hand to the black guy. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Black.”
Serafine and the white midget burst out laughing. The man I assumed to be Mr. Black raised a brow. In the deepest voice I’d heard to date he exclaimed, “I’m Mr. White, Maverick. That man over there, that’s Mr. Black.”
Freddie coughed and nudged me with his foot. My ears tingled with embarrassment.
Mr. Black’s chubby rolls jiggled and he giggled excitedly. “Ready to get your mojo on?”
“That’s what I’m talkin’ about.” Serafine smiled, her clear brown eyes twinkling mischievously in the candlelight. “It’s time for you boys to get what you came here for. You need my vision.”
“Yes!” screamed Mr. White. “A ceremony! I love ceremonies!”
The confused look Freddie and I exchanged said it all.
Serafine and the midgets led Freddie, Snaggletooth, and me into a large ballroom with a moss-covered floor and cracked tiles. It looked like it might have been a majestic place at one point in time, but not anymore. Tree roots crept into the faded, cracked walls. The ceiling arched into a dome, yet the stained-glass atrium was shattered. Shards of colorful glass twinkled on the ground in hues of green, purple, and yellow. Old, tattered furniture decorated the place.
Above us, the full moon had now turned orange. Surrounding us, of course, tons of candles. Serafine led us into the center of the room and told Freddie, Snaggletooth, and I to take a seat. Mr. White and Mr. Black spread red brick dust around us in a circle.
“We’re making you a protection circle, understand?” asked Serafine.
“No,” I said.
“What’s going on? Are you sacrificing us to your weird alligator God?” Freddie whimpered.
“No, child, the only thing being sacrificed here is the bad energy that be following you around.”
Freddie and I sat back to back, his body trembling so hard I bit my lip. He was also sitting on my tail. I nudged him with my elbow. “Step off.”
“Geez,” he mumbled. “Sorry.”
Serafine put her finger to her lips. “Sshh, we’re about to get started. Have some respect for Madame Laveau.”
“Who?” I asked, but was ignored.
Serafine struck a match and set fire to some wood in a cauldron that sat on the far side of the room. Immediately, the flames rose high, almost to the ceiling. Ghostly orange faces danced in front of me. Smoke billowed out of the window in an eerie trail. Strange shadows flickered on the walls.
Mr. White picked up a set of bongo drums and slapped them rhythmically. At first, the beat started slow, but then it got faster and faster. Mr. Black soon joined in, playing some kind of cowbell. The two men danced around us in a crazed circle, playing their instruments, while Serafine sang.
“Boomlay de boom Boogaloo.
My spell tis gonna hoodoo you.
Anything you do won’t take it back.
No mumbo-jumbo, my visions intact.”
Or something along those lines.
Sitting wide-eyed and feeling the rhythm course through my body, the hypnotic experience almost put me into a trance. That was until fifty alligators slithered in from outside, hissing and making low, barely audible growls and gurgles.
I tried to crouch up onto my knees, preparing to bolt, but, like wet noodles, my legs gave out from under me. I slumped against Freddie, my fake teeth chattering. This was just all too weird.
Freddie covered his eyes with his hands so he didn’t witness the disturbing events that followed. What he missed while the gators growled, and the midgets continued singing and dancing, was Serafine’s body convulsing. Violently. Swear to God, her eyes rolled straight to the back of her head. You could only see white, no pupils. They moved back and forth as frenetically as a ping-pong tournament.
I didn’t know what was going on. I sat on the edge of my tail, thinking my ears might explode. And then everything suddenly grew quiet. The alligators slithered away, the drums stopped beating, the bells stopped clanging, and Serafine smiled at me sweetly. A bead of perspiration crept slowly down her forehead. I could hear the blood rush in my ears.
It was more than intense.
When she was finished spazzing out, Serafine reached into the pockets of her robe and outstretched her arm, handing me a black velvet drawstring bag.
“What’s this?” I asked with bewilderment.
“The black bag is only to be used against an enemy if there’s an emergency. Just throw the contents in his or her face and say these words: ‘I curse you. Shut your mouth.’ Repeat it three times and that’s it.”
“I don’t really get what’s going on here, Serafine.”
“Child, we all need a little extra protection no matter what your beliefs, understand? Now, I’ve done what I can here. The rest is up to you. You take the special gris-gris I’ve made for you and you get. Darling will see you back to the trail you came in on.”
“But what did your visions tell you?” I asked, panicked.
Serafine clonked out. The eyelid on the amulet blinked one last time and then it closed. It was clear we weren’t going to get any answers from Serafine or her “juju.”
Serafine had said I needed to trust my instincts? Well, my tail wasn’t tingling anymore. My head throbbed with anger. Besides wasting gas and wasting our time, our little side trip was just a bunch of baloney. Freddie had been right. I should have listened to him, not my tail.
Mr. White and Mr. Black grabbed Freddie and me gently by our elbows and led us to the door. Snaggletooth followed us, his tail between his legs. In silence, the men walked us to the docks where, once again, Darling waited for us.
“How goes it?” Darling said as she helped Snaggletooth onto the raft. “Got your mojo on?”
Freddie sneered and coughed out a huff.
I stumbled onto the raft after Freddie, and the only thing I could think to say was, “Who is Lady Laveau?”
“Marie Laveau? Why she was the most famous hoodoo conjurer around these parts. It’s said Serafine is her great-great-great-granddaughter. Something like that. But I wouldn’t ask anymore on her. Her spirit might fly in from out of nowhere and slap you in the face just like the last guy.”
“Whatever,” I said, not really caring. Lost deep in thought, angry with myself for being duped, I sat transfixed with the hundreds of gators materializing to the side of our raft, swimming besides us, hissing. At least Freddie seemed a lot calmer with my reptilian relatives now, or like me, the weird ceremony stunned him so much, nothing would have bothered him.